So im really excited to be moving in a little bit !! Then I'll have the little baby (who will the most gorgeous ever besides Jeiden) & working . I wanna work another job since I won't be in school this coming semester . But working & getting my body back in shape (yes , im fucking shallow) are my main priorites besides my kids . I mean working = bills paid . So yeah . Work/bills , kids , my body . That's that . I don't even wanna look like i could have had 2 kids . But im awesome & hot , so I'm sure it won't be too hard .

About 4 weeks til the baby ! So so so excited !! Can't wait to look at him :) Wanna do my babies like the lion king beginning lmao . Im so vain . lol . Alright , getting back to my bb bear right now .

ALL RIGHT , WHO DIDNT BUY JOHN MAYER'S CD ?! IF YOU DIDN'T , YOUR HATIN ASSES CAN GET THE FUCK OFF MY FRIENDS LIST RIGHT NOW .

ok , just kidding . Sorta . I bought it . LOVE IT . I'm in love with "Perfectly Lonely" & "Edge of Desire" . I'm also in love with John Mayer , but pshh , everyone knows that already .

Just wanted to say I have 9 weeks left of being pregnant . I'm so excited to see my baby . To cuddle & snuggle with him . to look in his eyes . He will be amazing . I will teach him how to stay that way . He is being born into a family already so full of love . Jeiden is excited to see his little brother too . lol .

I am so happy with my life . Sorry for being cranky sometimes . These last 2 months are the hardest . LOL . It's like get on with it ! & i can't wait for whatever day he is born so i can do absolutely nothing except have a baby . LOL .

LOVE YOU SO MUCH .

Most amazing person you have ever met? What was his name?

The most amazing person I've ever met . . . He was amazing . He had such passion for life , could make you laugh all the time , knew what he wanted , had goals in life & wanted to complete them & was caring . When you would see him , you might be unsure of him , but once you knew him , you couldn't imagine life without him . Beautiful smile , sarcastic & was/is his own worst enemy . When i remember him , I miss him .

He's not like that anymore . He doesn't care & he's beaten . You look at him now , & shake your head because you remember how he used to be .  Now he doesn't even stand up for the things that are important & forgets that what's right isn't always easy or what you want .

*im sure i'm missing tons more stuff in how amazing he was .

His name ?

He gave me a stain-glassed mickey mouse once upon a time . .

I'm sure he knows who he is .

I hate how you "try" . You are such a liar , Davon . You claim you "care" about Jeiden . NO YOU DON'T .

If you did , you would have never left . That was the only thing I asked you . That you stayed in the same god damn city as your fucking child . & if you cared , you wouldn't have got with your ex right after I told you I didn't want your ass .

So you left to go be with her . That says a lot about how much you "care" about MY son . He will NEVER be referred to as "your" son . He is mine . I raise him, not you . I get his smiles, his laughter, his hugs, his love, his "i love you just the way" his "mommy , cuddle with me bc I love you", his care . . etc.

All that , I can't live without on a daily basis . It's what keeps me going . Obviously , you can . No matter the lies you told about how you would cry every night & listened to Lupe Fiasco "He Say, She Say" & the game's "Like father, like son ." LOL

& to say I "want you" or whatever , I told you I didn't care if you were with her , but fucking STAY IN ST. LOUIS . . . hmm, I think I was focusing more on Jeiden than about you .

& since may (3 months !) You have asked about him THREE times . Via text message . I want to change my number and probably will . & to use the excuse that "you didnt want me playing on the phone" is pathatic when there are SO MANY other options for getting in contact with me .

I "want you back" so much & "miss you" so much that I didnt even know your phone was off . because i never texted/called you ONE TIME during that whole period . YOU keep leaving and I'm supposed to let you keep hurting my baby ?!?!

& if texts saying "leave me alone" "stop texting me" "go away" "you're a douchbag" etc can be interpreted as I "want you back" .. then of course, I want you back . LOL .

I DONT THINK SO . He has never cried more than when you were here for -laughs- 4 months . You just had to barge in & let him know who his father was , couldn't leave it alone , couldn't just let him call you Davon . Couldn't stand it that he called someone else Daddy . Couldn't stand it that Jeiden loved him, & that Jeiden believed him . NO , you had to let him know YOU were "Daddy" ... & by doing that , you let him know "Daddy" is not the one to count on . He wanted to see you so much , & you always blew him off . Deny it & tell people it isn't true . My sister & me (me more so) were the ones to dry his tears when he would cry & be dissappointed that he couldn't see you . Like the time you blew him off for some random bitch . & you knew he cried over it & still took THREE HOURS to come see him when you lived TWO BLOCKS AWAY .

& saying I don't let you talk to him ? you don't call my phone . & stop getting texting/calling mixed up . I'm really starting to think you are on drugs .

Shame your friends don't even like you & neither does your DNA .
Ask them what they think of how much time you spent with Jeiden ...
I told you I'm not starting shit . Believe what you want , If you don't know by now , lol , far be it for me to enlighten you .

You think the stupid bitch you're with is what its all about , thats great . STAY THERE , GET MARRIED , LET HER HAVE UR KIDS . Leave me & Jeiden alone .

This is proof that your "trying" isn't trying . What you say isn't backed up by what you do . THREE times in 3 months ??!?! SERIOUSLY ??!?! & it's not "worth" the gas ? Guess it's not worth it to tell Jeiden you tried either . But we all know if we ever said YOU tried , we'd be lying .

Texts:
You:How is Jeiden?
Me: MY son is great.
You: lol well, what's he doing?
Me: Being amazing .
You: Well , you told me about my son , which is what i called for so thanks. ttyl.

LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS ?!?! "How's your son , Davon?
YOU: Well, his mother says he's great & amazing .

LOL FUCKING IDIOT . & it's not calling , its a fucking TEXT message . THAT'S what you call you being a father ?!?! You didn't even find out anything and made NO attempt to set up ANY type of seeing/talking to him .

& it's been like that the THREE times you've done it . & then we start fighting over texts because I want you to leave us alone bc it goes the SAME way everytime . I don't need the 1 or 2 texts from you every month or two to show how much you care about him . YOU DON'T . If you did, you would certainly do more than what you're doing now . Like I told you , either be there FULL TIME or don't be there at all . There is no such thing as half a father . Either you are , or you aren't . & you definitely aren't .

How "bitchy" am I when all I care about is the happiness of MY child ? You've proven to only make him cry & keep him UNhappy .

Your past doesn't speak well for you either . He is 4 and you've only been there for 1 birthday ..despite you saying "this time it will be different" .. but OMG , YOU'RE AT THE SAME PLACE (SAME DISTANCE) YOU WERE FOR ALLLLL THOSE BIRTHDAYS AS YOU ARE FOR THIS ONE ..

So then , you didnt come/call/try for his birthdays & for this one , you're in the exact same place & STILL haven't seen him since May . Different ... yeahhh , explain that ...So if she's not keeping you from Jeiden , you just TRUELY don't care ? 

 You piss me off because the both of you lie . I don't like fat people , ugly people & won't date white men . Bitchy ? yeah , but at least I'm honest . I would date a guy because of his looks first before his personality . Amazing sex makes me stay in a relationship longer than if the guy was a prick & it was bad sex . Bitchy ? Shallow ? Yeah , but at least I admit it . I never want to get fat or have fat kids . Still making myself sound like a bitch ? I don't care . At least I'm honest .

& you lie . ALL the time . I'm surprised she believes the shit you say . But then , that's where something called IQ comes in . If she knew all your lies too . . . lol .

& since you were with her "longer than I know about" (lol) tell her about ... well , never mind , because you probably lied or omitted that part to her :/
When will you learn that I save everything ? & that when I write about people like this , NOTHING is a lie . If i was just going to lie , I'd make it private or f.o . But i let everyone read my stuff , especially these because its true .

But you'll both choose to believe whatever , haha .

PS . Jeiden was mad bc he couldnt see something , I was like it is there baby , trust me have i ever lied to you ? He says um no & i said well , who has . He said "Davon because he don't never show up ."

That's what he thinks of you . & i would NEVER talk bad about you to him . & i haven't . I told you Jeiden was extremely smart . Yes , for being 3 . Even he can see your bullshit . & YOU THOUGHT YOU DID SOMETHING THOSE 4 MONTHS ??!?!?!

LAME ASS .

So you showed him what a shitty ass "daddy" you are . At least he never let Jeiden down . I don't know why you hate him , he will always be a better man than you , simply for that .