i had a chance to escape this life landlocked in the corner sweet beachtown fires await at the western washington border where the ocean meets the sand in the undertow just across the great skykomish i had a chance to escape from all these idiots who'll never notice the olympic mountain range on the puget sound the handshake horizon where the sunset drowns in the post apocalyptic mount saint helens ash of an earthquake leaking out natural gas again take a ferry to bremerton and catch my way back to you take a ferry to victoria and we can stay in tonight on the transcontinental its the alias drawn the postcards in the racks dont do justice upon it well i'm just a miniature backpack lace on the open hiking trail, open hiking trail again offer a solution in the solid absolution of the cold drawn nets of the trawler send me to alaska for the summer again come home two inches taller come home with 10,000 dollars to spend from four months out at the sea the seven hills of halcyon erasing the bad thoughts of the boy i think i used to be i had a chance to escape this life landlocked in the corner sweet beachtown fires await at the western washington border where the ocean meets the sand in the undertow just across the great skykomish i had a chance to escape i guess i'm lucky cause i got to notice

i liked you better when you were drinking at least i knew just where you stood i liked you better when you were fucked up good times when youre sober arent that good i'm tired of crying to cory branan songs i'm tired of watching you living so slow mister straight arrow shooting a crooked assed notion you are not what you are from who you know urban kaleidoscope half moon shot glass purple lips spitting blow pop notes back into the bar to catch a last call the one thing to which you'd always devote and alcohol misses you and keeps you warm and the blanket of bourbon keeps you warm yeah it's funny how kisses and hugs get turned out by shadows of long nights and hard drugs but that barstool saint you were is dead and gone so it's back to the two way inn to throw your money away in that machine conversation contradiction in the eat-in kitchen that you fixed up like some magazine and you pretend you're not sad you pretend you're not invested in the paper trail running back to your constant appointment with the world's oldest profession urban myths spelling portraits of gifts turn to dust and settle in liquid sighs the razorblade courage of your Edward R. Murrow turns your back while we're waving goodbye and alcohol misses you and keeps you warm and the blanket of bourbon keeps you warm yeah it's funny how kisses and hugs get turned out by shadows of long nights and hard drugs but that barstool saint you were is dead and gone So prophesize away about the things that will never be true Write a poem write a book send a note pen a letter to who That little boy you were slapdash stupid with a Zip front jersey hiding your black heart, screw it Lines form everywhere but you've never learned how to stand Lines form everywhere but you're too busy shaking hands And oh sidewinder won't you serve us all up Another green label steady pour The barstool saint aint coming in here To talk all that bullshit no more I got a six string jet and only five fingers Aint that a fucking joke I drink straight Jack Daniels when I'm feeling pretty good When get sick I snort up two lines of coke And in the easy down comforter of my illusions I'm the son the revolution ignored I liked you better when you were drinking At least I knew I'd never get bored

Monday morning's erratic behavior Begins with a wake up and ends with a crash From the first cup of coffee to the last falling ashes From the edge of my first of the days cigarettes I'm torn to riots taking place Inside my vericose veins again My wings are growing slowly as I Sweat down Sunday's aftermath Monday morning's erratic behavior A tousle of hair and a puke in the john Haggard and line drawn face in the mirror From the barroom brawl and the scars it has left I'm torn to violence and hate Inside my vericose veins gain My mother says I should just grow up And stop sweating down Sunday's aftermath Shower faucet runs cold for my trumpet brigade Underneath the cross-stitch tattoo Of a ever changing constant parade Of weak punches thrown at the depths of Monday morning's erratic behavior Starts with a phone call and ends with a sigh I live a life of dramatic expressions so I Guess I'll have to let these feelings decline I'm torn to riots taking place Inside my vericose veins again My wings are growing slowly as I Sweat down Sunday's sleeplessness Sweat down Sunday's sleeplessness Can't wait for Monday afternoon

I decided to go ahead and move my life to my blog space. It's located at http://www.cherrybloss.org and I hope you'll come join me there.

what am i to you and what are you to me and what if i'm not what you want or what you think you see and what if you think i am someone else does it reflect badly on my presentation can i be what you think and what you want no i cant in the current situation a pushy cuddle toy with a permanent scar pressed beneath the surface of what i am and who we are a hovering half breed with a haunted life that's after me cutting down what i am and who i hang around what am i to you and what are you to me and what if i'm not who i think i really ought to be and what if i think you're someone else does it reflect badly on the present tense chained to words and pictures not whispered secrets or evidence a derelict deacon with a suitable sermon for every minion wreckless rubber room a straight jacket of my opinions a hovering half breed with a haunted life that's after me cutting down what i am and who i hang around i would be happy just to be happy just once i'd be happy to be finally happy no more naps and no more pills in a flowerpot on a windowsill drenched in sunlight waiting for the curtains to be drawn sleeping soundly instead of going to bed at dawn

i dont need defeat to face retreat sometimes it hurts just to swallow at night the swan sings unclear but leaves me here to suffer notes that get caught in my throat pinching myself telling myself i'm better now grabbing my coat and wandering out in the heat sunburn passes i am finally ready to tan again gripping the frozen arms of frostbitten sighs i collide into the corruption of my imagination superficial superman in my defense i was kryptonite slang a tongue lashing delivered at fever pitch before the last of the dying swans sang walking home underneath my parachute wandering off my umbrella doesn't open up throwing a marker leaving an ink stain permanent like my skin scraping underneath my fingernails this is all i am this is all i have to dig with punch me take me love me with your open handed slap me stop me deny me all my sorrows drowned in the bloody nose im in love with being the broken hearted

I don't whistle and I don't sing
I don't do one fucking thing
But I listen and I scream
To the sidewalks

I don't stumble and I don't trip
I don't fumble and I don't slip
But I listen and I crush
All these city blocks

I've been captured in the spark
Of the sunset glow pitch dark
Where the Brooklyn bridge meets the water
In the angry twilight

I stood muffled I stood deaf
I stood here and cried through it
I stood watching from the bottom
Of my old neighborhood

In the tempest tossed and worn
Is the pain I have foresworn
In the huddled masses yearning
To just be good enough

I've been captured in the wake
Of the rip tide of sunshine states
Where I watched poor freedom wander
Wiping her tears

In the city I'm stretching out
Trying to make sense of life without
Trying to make sense of life
I'm still here shaking

In the city I'm caving in
As I watch my life begin
As I watch my life arise
Phoenix aching

Hello Manhattan my love
It's just you I'm thinking of
Floating off into a pictured
Imagination

For my eyes can surely see
That if God so took from me
God would surely come back to
Grand Central Station

If my arms had wings I'd fly
From the tip of Staten Island
To New Jersey back through Queens
Across Manhattan

I would tie your past to mine
And pull today till it unwinds
Till it sits unravelled by
What seems forgotten

Ive done the things most people only dream about
I dreamed of doing things that most people do
With great reward comes a sharper crash downward
So high to end up so low and so blue

I'm a wrist cutting percolating percoset and champagne taking
Cocaine cowgirl in the afterglow
Mic throwing boobs showing aftermath of anger
Whiskey bottle shotgun toting after the show

I pitched woo with the alcoholic trainwrecks
I passed bad checks and pissed on the lawn
I made a masterpiece of everything ugly
I made them love me pretty soon  I was gone

I'm a junk shooting high-faluting jello-wrestler drug-store looting
Cocaine cowgirl in the afterglow
Dirty makeup caked-up on the aftermath of danger
Xanax popping boy fucker after the show

Press my lipstick on the pillow so gently
Press my face against the glass and watch it steam up
Night train making local stops, spitting at the transit cops
Snort my triple latte from a Harry Potter coffee cup

I've done the things most people only dream about
Dreaming of doing things that most people do
I fell in love once, you'd think that would be good enough
But you aint me and I'll never be you

I'm a crack-smoking subway token pushing through a turnstile choking
Cocaine cowgirl in the afterglow
I'm a money-making picture-taking model of destruction shaking
Earthquake silence lonely after the show

I'm a wrist cutting percolating percoset and champagne taking
Cocaine cowgirl in the afterglow
Mic throwing boobs showing aftermath of anger
Whiskey bottle shotgun toting after the show

I'm a cinematic pychodrama exclamation points and commas
Cocaine cowgirl in the afterglow
Shattered hipster punk rock spinster apple of temptation
With nothing left to give you after the show

its a cold comfort at best
but comfort nonetheless
knowing you've kissed the ceiling
while we fools stay here in earthly distress

chained to routines
i'm lost trying to give meanings to meaningless things
dispassionate squares pushing circles around
as triangle tones deafen dreams

flying over the hedgerows and lawns
you may be here, yeah, but it feels like you're gone
shopping malls filled with kids who wont know
what it feels like to hear you come on

what it feels like to know you've been watching
what it feels like to know you've been listening
what it feels like to know you're around
to have a friend you've only met a  through transistor sound

dreams of people not yet born when
you first played the records where our dreams were formed
before the idea hits the listeners ears
cold comfort leaves, it all gets warm, yeah

red wine in a glass
a toast to good things that don't last
a toast to all the children you raised
so humble yet deserving our praise

to tin shacks and garden parties
to concert halls, to dancehalls and raves
last night a dj saved my life
to life that i wish i could have saved, oh God

its a cold comfort at best
buts its a comfort nonetheless
lifeless wage-earners wired to the speakers
that took us from our lifelessness

as i take it all in
i know that one like you will not come again
but the dreams you made real
just make me hope i'm wrong
that i'll wake up one day
to find another excuse
to find new records to play
to my champion from heswall
who gave me my dreams half a world away

its so confusing, it makes no sense
how memories keep tying themselves to current events
details i long since forgotten about
come back when i talk to you

maybe its my need to make a connection
to something true and something real
maybe its the lightbulb glowing on a pitchdark street
in iridescent hues

so pitch me a fastball that i can catch
where the hotdog vendors push through steel
opening the gates and cleaning out the trash cans
at wrigley field

im falling farther from the plane and my parachute wont open
im falling farther faster better, im gonna land but i dont know when
im falling from the endmark back to one every time we reset
im catching on to the journey im on
still waiting for it all to begin

its so confusing, it makes me weak
how the words come out of my mouth but i cant speak
i tell a true story told a million times before
but its a bit different every time

ive had good fortune, i've gotten through
a lot of things nobody should ever have to
but at the end of the trail where the footprints land
i still dont know what to do

so give me a secret i can keep
something nobody should ever know at all
ill lock it up so deeply, i promise, ill keep it here
ill never mention again at all

im falling farther from the plane and my parachute wont open
im falling farther faster better, im gonna land but i dont know when
im falling from the endmark back to one every time we reset
im catching on to the journey im on
still waiting for it all to begin

and there i am
rejuveniled in the pouring down rain
flooding over me, making me
brand new all over again

and there you are
caught in the revelry of my refrains
knowing you knowing all of you
you are my lover and my best friend

im falling farther from the plane and my parachute wont open
im falling farther faster better, im gonna land but i dont know when
im falling from the endmark back to one every time we reset
im catching on to the journey im on
still waiting for it all to begin

you're an asphault junkie shooting up the city
for a tenth of sidewalks underneath your feet
you will disconnect the subways and the buses
to engage the traffic in your base retreat

youre a slice of pizza from somewhere in the village
youre a shopping spree on melrose in LA
youre a nightclub dancer when you're in Miami
but when you're here i just wish you would stay

ive been dreaming about us watching the leaves change color
from a bench in the middle of central park
ive been wanting to sleepwalk with you through your daydream
where i wake up next to you and its warm and dark

im a simple man from a small town in mississippi
where the bars shut down at midnight all my life
where the church is open every single morning
but the prayers just go unanswered all the while

you're an asphault junkie shooting up the city
for a tenth of midnight you will score the sun
and inject your life into the taxi river
on a billboard they can all see you're the one

ive been dreaming about us watching the leaves change color
from a bench in the middle of central park
ive been wanting to sleepwalk with you through your daydream
where i wake up next to you and its warm and dark

blow a kiss goodbye to old seattle
to haight street, to portland and chicago
run away with me i know you want to
run away with me baby, let's just go
i might fall in love again with someone someday
but love without you in it, i don't know....

every other day i pass the billboard
with your picture advertising some new thing
im drawn to just pick up the phone and call you
i dial the numbers slowly, sometimes it just rings

sometimes it will ring and you will answer
sometimes i will talk to you and smile
my asphault junkie shooting up the city
and melting off the distance in the miles

the last door on the left
turn the knob and walk through
icicle branches breaking
in the automated world they're making
just for you

i was a whisper in her ear
silent broken hip shake coming
in the marlboro winter she is running
from the winston summer that felt nothing
for you

meet me at the bottom of rolling hill
pitch a tent where the sidewalk meets the grass
in a sleeping bag she and i
exchanging kisses with passersby
down rolling hill we were walking

youre this apple of temptation blooming
broken fruit on the tree of love
im an icicle branch hanging waiting
for the sun to melt me back im shaking
just for you

in a winter coat i wander
past the empty parking lot on the corner
staring back at the frosted fields of anger
ashamed that i couldn't stay here
for you

meet me at the bottom of rolling hill
pitch a tent where the sidewalk meets the grass
in a sleeping bag she and i
exchanging kisses with passersby
down rolling hill we were walking

i spit a curse out and wait for the slap to come down
i spit the words out and just hang around
if i spit blood out well maybe i deserve to spit
should i take the last taste
should i take the first hit

the last door on the left
turn the knob and walk through
icicle branches breaking
in the automated world i was making
just for you
just for you
just for you
down rolling hill

the dancers rehearse for the show at midnight
the political gala inside the lighted dome
tuxedo seas of money punch their tickets
miss liberty takes off her stockings and goes home

career lawmakers made television news every evening
for decisions over which no handshake went unfelt
see the partisan players face off in false completions
see the cinematic punches leave their welts

now my brother he put on this camoflage jacket
carried his shells and armor into the brink
now he sits here at this bar and rubs his stubble with his good hand
while the metal claw that was his other hand pours us drinks

the beautiful girl with the diamond eyes waits for him
she waited after school and football too
now she waits for him alone in her isolation
as the air force brings his body back cut in two

i went up to canada once on a vacation
vancouver so beautiful my money went so far
but today the dollars i earned from my profession
moved to vancouver while i sleep in my car

america for spacious skies you kill me
for amber waves of grain that make my beer
for purple mountains majesties forsaken
i dont think i can handle four more years

they destroy americans in the name of allah
you say, why would someone want to kill in God's name
for the holy crusade our soldiers gave their lives for
without good reason, our young men die in vain

so you football queens, you dancers, and you preachers
you so-called protectors who must stand your ground
how can you say its right to support treason
when you have no fucking clue whats going down

so beat your weapons into plowshares and till the soil
bear your crosses and wipe your worried brows
for the devil will quote the bible for his own purpose
and we must hold our leaders to their solemn vows

no more hard times thats what i expect to hear
when i wake up in the back seat cold and tired
i want the same dream that you dream to be real again
i want my country to be worth being admired

so the lights come up on the masquerade confusion
and the dancers take their places out on the stage
but miss liberty got drunk and missed rehearsal
now she dances at platinum plus in a cage     

she used to be the football queen back in high school
her quarterback boyfriend loved her so
but when he came back in a body bag from iraq
this strip club was the only place left to go

when a child grows up to talk about his father
how will that child describe a face unseen
for miss liberty there are no pictures from the reunion
her child inherits confused empty feelings

what price to pay for a freedom that has been taken
what price to pay for bad wisdom passed on down
what price to pay for a confederacy of dunces
what price to pay for what we don't have around

if i could shine on you i would
so you'll always know how your smile makes me radiate
covering soft golden skin with my kisses warm
anything just to see you laughing

i pour my sunlit secrets in a keepsake
i gave it to you on a silver chain
when you're lonesome hold it and ill whisper to you
like a song you keep humming

i just want to shine on you wherever you are
i just want to shine on you wherever you are
no matter how far you run, i will always be the one
my love for you shines on

in your eyes i look and i can see forever
in your eyes i can see a soul like mine
in your eyes im lost to the magic i once possessed
when i was much older

i set aside big dreams to give life to your dreams
i gave you all ive ever learned so you could know
that when i lie down next to you it feels like home
baby rest your head on my shoulder

i just want to shine on you wherever you are
i just want to shine on you wherever you are
no matter how far you run, i will always be the one
my love for you shines on

shine, i dont need to eat because i'm not hungry
shine, i dont need to rest because i don't get tired when i'm with you
shine, i dont need to think it over i know its right
i know i could never know another love like this one

im going to shine my love straight down on you
across damp fields to the heart that is warm and dry
just wait for me, baby, im racing to get there
hold on baby im coming

i just want to shine on you wherever you are
i just want to shine on you wherever you are
no matter how far you run, i will always be the one
my love for you shines on
my love for you shines on
my love for you shines on

never gonna shut my eyes again
never gonna wink at the sunlight fracturing
never gonna throw my caution to the wind
watching faceless shadows burn my paper skin

chemical reactions speeding down the trails
lighting up the sidewalks in brilliantine braille
run your hands across the fluorescent bridal veil
kisses bloody mouthful on violet burning nails

got off the bus in new york city
i was seventeen years old
i fell in love with new york city
where time never stops and the streets are paved with gold

got a job collecting debts for a bookie
got a place to squat down on avenue a
got myself a boyfriend who like to sing lou reed songs
got lost downtown in the halloween parade

took myself to university for learning
took myself uptown to collect my debts
took myself to lincoln square to hear the opera
took myself to the fountain in the park with my regrets

got off the bus in new york city
i was seventeen years old
i fell in love with new york city
where time never stops and the streets are paved with gold

wash off the dirt from the open bar tab
wash off the coffee stains and broken glass
wash off the tears from my innocent face, oh god
wash me clean in the blood of the aftermath

they took my shoes at the atm robbery
from the other end of the .45
i remember wanting the pain to stop so bad
he came inside me but he shouldn't have left me alive

my broken glasses shattered in the notes of the traffic
my panicked tears were frozen by the blessed heart
nobody gives a fuck if you're bleeding to death down here
wash my hands and steal my dinner from a hot dog cart

but at the last stop before the brooklyn bridge
when i take the train that makes no local stops
the ghost of basquiat takes me back to the village
as the fractured sunlight bounces off the buildings and drops

back to the bus that pulled past porno theaters
the prostitutes in times square hells kitchen and down
past the clubs where i snorted that cocaine, yeah
fuck you mom and dad, i'm going up to apple town


got off the bus in new york city
i was seventeen years old
i fell in love with new york city
where time never stops and the streets are paved with gold