Junior Killed in Automobile Crash
Gathered Mourners Remember Christine Dao as Devoted Friend, Gifted Student, Unique Presence

By RYAN MCDONALD
Contributing Writer
Friday, October 28, 2005

Click to Enlarge PHOTO/SALGU WISSMATH Friends of Christine Dao hold a candlelight vigil at the intersection of University and San Pablo avenues, the site of the crash that killed her. The UC Berkeley junior was 20.

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UC Berkeley junior Christine Dao was the kind of person who would drop everything and, with Oreos and chocolate in hand, drive an hour and a half to cheer up a friend.

It is her thoughtfulness and kind spirit that friends and family will miss most about Dao, 20, who died in a fatal car accident in West Berkeley yesterday morning.

The collision occurred about 2:45 a.m. near the intersection of University and San Pablo avenues, said Berkeley police Officer Shira Warren.

Dao and the other driver, who is currently under observation at Highland General Hospital in Oakland, were the only people involved in the accident, Warren said.

She could not provide further details about the circumstances of the collision.

Dao, a Richmond native, graduated from El Cerrito Senior High School in 2003, where she was senior class president and a member of the volleyball team. She was pursuing a psychology degree, had recently pledged Asian sorority Sigma Phi Omega, and planned to go to New York after graduation to study criminal law, said Anna Phan, Dao's mother.

Dao's friends gathered at the site of the crash last night to honor her memory with a candlelight vigil, which drew more than 150 people.

"She was just one of the good ones that shouldn't have been taken so soon," said junior Jimmy Finkes. "She's the kind of person that I really admire."

Finkes said he first met Dao at Costco in Richmond, where the two were co-workers, and then grew closer to her after taking two classes together. He said before he knew it, they were talking on the phone every other day.

Others at the memorial said this tendency to touch people was characteristic of Dao, who always knew how to make people laugh.

"She was so full of life, she just couldn't be normal," said Dao's best friend, Mariana Cavallin, a UC Davis junior. "She was an amazing person."

The memorial drew a number of people from the UC Davis campus, where several of Dao's close friends from high school are students.

"She was the most reliable friend," said Christy Saysompeth, a UC Davis sophomore. "If you were feeling sad, she would drive up to Davis like that with chocolate and Oreos to cheer you up."

At the service, Dao's friends recalled various aspects of her personality, from her loyal support of the San Francisco Giants to her love of the poem "Solitude" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, and her dimples, which instantly endeared her to many people, Cavallin said.

Those at the service said Dao had left a legacy throughout her life.

"She was such a light. We were very proud of her," said George Austin, a teacher at El Cerrito. "A shiver went through the school when news of her death reached us. I saw so many teachers in tears."

Dao's mother, who came to the service from her home in Richmond, said she had spoken with her daughter Wednesday evening and was nervous about her driving home to Richmond after studying for a midterm next week. She echoed similar concerns for students present at the memorial.

"Everybody here must be careful when they drive," she said. "I knew my daughter would never do anything wrong, but that something bad could happen."

Funeral services for Dao are currently scheduled for Monday at Rolling Hills Memorial Park in El Sobrante.

Ryan McDonald covers crime. Contact him at rmcdonald@dailycal.org.

http://www.insidebayarea.com/search/ci_3160013

 

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. Video code provided by KEKAI BOY