oh HELL yeah! The season hasn't even started and already Rue Morgue magazine is calling FrightTown "one of the best independent haunted attractions in North America"! Not in Portland, mind you. Not in Oregon. Not even in the good ol' You Ess Uv Ay. On the feckin' CONTINENT, behbeh!!! We are packing heat in both hands and loaded for bear!

And to think that the article was about LAST year's FrightTown. This year, FrightTown is packed with more horror than...something...that...like a horror packing thing...ok shuddup we're still awesome. Rue Morgue said so! WOO-HOO!

I know, I know. It's lazy and lame to just post a link as a blog entry. But as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Ergo, the videos from SUPERJAIL!'s top 10 bloodiest moments must be worth something along the lines of a kajillion.

Enjoy.

A crazed, cane-wielding dandy running a place where evil is caged in a bizarre wonderland! What a great concept! If only I'd....hey...waidaminnit...

Hello piggie wigglets -

The Threadless Loves Horror campaign has now accepted both of my entries and I am hoping that my juju as a professional horror-whore will give me some luck. But luck, schmuck - I need all of you goolies and goolettes to throw me a bone, go to Thredless.com and vote for my dairy white ass.

It's easy. Click on the banners below to go to my entries:






Once you're there, you can vote. The more people that click 4 or 5 and then say they'd buy the design as a print or a tshirt, the better the chance that that design will win. I think you do have to register with threadless to vote but it's no biggee: they'll just try and sell you a tshirt once a week. I must admit, I have succumbed to their pressure and their deliciously irreverent designs more than once. It's not so bad.

So waddya say?

You know of Threadless, yes? The tshirt site?

Well, they had themselves a little contest called "Threadless Loves Horror." Oh - come ON, now - this has got to be my moment. So I entered two designs. One of them is approved and ready to be voted on: it's the Zombie Prom couple that I created for the ZP poster last year. So many of you kind folks thought that it should be a tshirt - well, let's see if the great unwashed agrees.


Click on the banner below and vote for this shirt. Gimme a big fat 5 if you like it - and if you'd buy it, click on the box that says so. The more of you that click that box, the better my zombies' chances are.




Stay tuned for design &035;2, TOTEM OF TERROR. It has zombies AND evil clowns AND an anthropomorphic tongue. Now that's value.


BVG

Greetings my piggies, poppets and pumpkins!

Our Douchebags of the Living Dead exhibit in this year's Museum of Horrors has garnered us the attention of none other than Douchebag1, moderator of the HIGH-lair-ee-ussss cultural satire site, hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Check us out on the entries for October 14 and then check us out LIVE, at the Memorial Coliseum in Portland, when we reopen on Thursday the 16th.

Boo -

BVG

Summer is circling the drain, my piggies, and that means that the time is nigh upon us when I will be dusting off my oddities and pulling my entities out of mothballs for another season of my Museum of Horrors at FrightTown.

So yes. It's true. I'm not just some jag off with a myspace page. Baron Von Goolo's Museum of Horrors is a real place and it is one of three - THREE I SAY!!! - three haunted houses at the FrightTown haunted event in Portland, OR this October. If you think my page here is full of dark humor and humorous darkness, you've seen nothing till you've experienced it al fresco, trust me.

But as I say, I am but a humble one of a magnificent trilogy of terror. Across the hall from my own digs (ahem) is nads down the scariest haunted house in the whole region, The Elshoff Asylum! And next to that, all new this year but still giving the Asylum a run for its money in the horror and gore departments, is The CHOP SHOP! Three words: redneck cyborg zombies. Hideous, simply hideous! I shall have to triple my razor wire budget this year just to make sure none of those scalawags get any of their guts on my precious collections!

FrightTown opens October 4 with much pomp and circumstance, oh you betcha, including the Portland Hallowe'en Bazaar on September 27, which will feature a pre-opening preview of the horrors to come. So mark your calendars, my loyal slutpigs. The bestest Halloween in the history of Halloweenery is coming!

**********

And what the hell - any of you want to join up and be a monster yourself? Experience is not an issue - just a dollop of imagination and a burning desire to fill a stranger's pants with fear! If you didn't know my Museum was a real place than you for sure didn't know that FrightTown is a community theater production. Come one come all, come one night or every night, and join us in our feast of screams!

If Portland is accessible to you and you're at least 18, all you gotsta do is click on the banner below and fill in the volunteer form and poof - you're a monster. Easy peezy.

Hello piggie wigglets -

Once again, I have tossed my pearls before the swine of capricious teen angst that is the Threadless. com audience. Only you, my beloved horror fans and myspace friends, can truly appreciate the sick irony and subtle nuances of my work.


I call this one "friends forever!". Who says I can't do cute? I don't expect the gentlemen to be too excited about this one, but I do expect them to rate it high and then buy one for their beloved to stretch across her rack.




Show the love, people. This is the one. I can feel it.


BVG

ADDENDUM 7/16

Well, voting has ended and I got a whopping 1.87 out of 5 for little "Hedward" here. Not even a 2! This is why I hate threadless.com and their zombie army pretentious, sullen art whores: if it doesn't have a visual pun or a pirate or a message about global warming in it, they don't get it. ARGH!!! I don't know why I even bother...

Oh wait, yeah I do. It's the 2K in prize money. Right. Okay then. Back in the saddle. Time to save the polar bears.

Hello local piggies and poppets -

The voting for Willamette Week's annual "Best Of" edition is going on now and by cracky, I want to be "Best Local Weirdo."

I mean, seriously - just look at me.

Do my Museum of Horrors a solid and toss me a bone, will you?

http://wweek.com/bop2008/

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

BVG

Hello pumpkins -

The PDX Zombie Prom is in about three weeks. Time to brush up on my dance moves.