Christi Marie's MySpace Blog |

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[04 Sep 2009 | Friday]

Lots of changes. New and exciting ones!

Things are going pretty freaking great right now. New living situation, awesome roommates, new guy, new haircut, new job, etc. (By the way, thanks Loni! ... for everything. You're pretty much part of it all. I'm sorry I stole your Jew gold.)

I'm just so much happier right now. I didn't even think I could be this happy a year ago. Hell, even a month ago... or 2 weeks ago. Things are just really falling into place quite nicely.

God, if all this awesome took place in the last 2 weeks, what will life be like next month? What will it be like next year?! I'm not sure of that right now... all I know is that I can't wait to see what life has in store for me/us.

Shit be ballin', yo! That's the caffeine kicking in. Wait, I didn't have caffeine. That was the stupid kicking in. Time for bed.

4:02 AM

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[05 Aug 2009 | Wednesday]

A new chapter in the life of Christi

About a week and a half ago, I had a pretty life changing event occur. It made me stop and take a look back at my life. 5 years ago, I had the world. I wasn't going to grow up to be a young, black male R&B Artist or anything but I could have done more than where I'm at now.

Upon initial realization of this, I became sad, like most would. Then, instead of letting myself get depressed over the whole, "Oh I screwed up my life. Poor me. Blah Blah. There's nothing I can do about it now." thing.

I'm only 22. Sure, I could be graduating with my BA or BS right now but I'm not. No sense in sitting around wanting things from the past to change. I don't have a time machine and if I did, I certainly wouldn't have the same issues. I'd be rich and awesome and probably pretty damn cool.

But since I can't change yesterday and I'm too impatient to change tomorrow... looks like I'm going to have to make some changes today. For the past week and a half now, I've been doing a LOT to get my life where I want it to be. Or at least on track to end up there.

Here's my rough draft on how to start bettering my life:

Get back into doing things I used to enjoy. Like photography (digital for now, but I'm going to find a place where I can rent a darkroom so I can develop my own film again. I looooved them.)

Start running again. (Going to join the YMCA. Already have the paper work all filled out. Just waiting on my ankle to heal. Hopefully next week.)

Get a better job. One I enjoy. (Have been applying and interviewing and whatnot.)

Go back to school. (That's in the plans for next year. Taking the tests and applying for aid is this years work on that.)

Volunteer for something. (Probably either the YMCA or The United Way. It'll make me feel like I'm doing more to help others.)

Admit I need and ask for help with things I need help with. (Already started that last week. It's working well so far.)

That's it for now but even now, I'm happier just knowing that it's under way Hopefully in another 4-5 years I can look back and be proud of the choices and efforts I'm making now. :-)

1:06 PM

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[10 Apr 2009 | Friday]

Getting back to it after injury. (Goals and such)

I had to take a couple weeks away from running due to an injury. But today I'm back to it. It felt really nice. I could only manage a little over 3 miles (30 minutes) instead of the usual 7.5 that I was doing but I also added in some weights so I guess it wasn't that bad.

Luckily, I was able to maintain my weight the last 2 weeks, even with birthday cake and not counting calories. So it's not like I was totally thrown off track. It just got put on pause.

Hopefully by the end of next week I'll be up to at least 5 miles and the week or 2 after, 7.5. My eventual goal is to get around 10 miles a day. Doesn't seem like it should be that hard if I set my mind to do it. I never thought I would be able to run 7.5 miles a day but I was doing that for a while.

(Note: My injury wasn't caused by running, don't worry. I won't get hurt again.)

2:55 PM

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[17 Mar 2009 | Tuesday]

Starting the week at 7.5 miles!

This morning I ran over 7 1/2 miles. It was nice. I felt totally free and awesome. I'm going to make that my distance goal this week. (Without compromising the quality of my workout, of course.) Maybe by my Birthday next month I can hold steady at 8 or even 9!

I love this feeling!!! I am so running a marathon next year haha.

I'm also down 16lbs.

1:41 AM

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[06 Mar 2009 | Friday]

Running! YAY!

So I started running the other day and WOW! I love it! Today I did just over 3 and a half miles and it felt so awesome! I've been so much happier this week. I've already lost about 7 lbs AND my skin even looks better!

So here's to the the ever awesome runners high that starts about 30 minutes in and the wonderful things that come after it!

7:35 PM

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[25 Jan 2009 | Sunday]

Yesterday...

So our 4 year anniversary was yesterday. Guess what I got about an hour after I posted the blog about it? The stomach virus! Yaaaaaaay.

I spent the majority of yesterday either in the bathroom, walking to the bathroom or laying in bed. I feel a little better now, still pretty nauseated though.

It could have been worse though. At least Patrick is fine. Plus he did something cute.

He went and picked me up some saltines and ginger ale and then later on in the evening, he made me some rice to try to settle my tummy a little. He even lit some candles. 4 of them. 1 for each year we've been together. A candle lit dinner of rice and ginger ale. What more can a girl ask for?

I still wish we could have gone to Clearwater but he said we can go next weekend. I hope it's cold again. It's supposed to warm up this week so... maybe.

I also wish our roommate wasn't an ass. I mentioned that it was our anniversary a few weeks ago, just like he did for his 1 year last month, and asked if he could keep low key. He said ok. Patrick also mentioned it to him again yesterday morning... Apparently "low key" means having your friend over from the early afternoon until the next morning, in the living room, playing video games. Loudly. Without telling anyone, by the way.

So we had the spend the entire day and night in our bedroom, still listening to them yell at the video game through the wall. I really want to punch him in the kidney. Patrick said he's going to mention something to him today but we'll see.

Either way, next weekend should be good. I hope so... I just wanted something really special.

2:45 PM

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[15 Jan 2009 | Thursday]

So then do something about it, tard.

I've been feeling rather down about myself lately. I got sick of it today. I realized that the only reason I feel like crap is because I let myself.

I'm the only one that can control my emotions and how I see myself. Yeah, sure, outside influences might be there sometimes but it's ultimately up to me to feel either happy, sad, angry or indifferent. If I feel ugly, that's my fault. If I feel fat, once again, my fault. In turn, if I feel great, it's my doing. So why not make myself feel that now instead of wait around to stop feeling crappy?

This morning I got up and, after the self pity party of "Oh my God, I'm so fat" and "blaaaaaaaaaaah", I did some Taebo, took a LONG shower, did my facial routine and am about to do my hair and makeup. I don't care if I'm staying home all day and cleaning and no one else will see it until like 9 hours from now. It's for me.

Granted, me being happy flows onto Patrick and makes him happy... I need to remember to do this for the sake of MY self esteem. Not anyone elses. However, what I do does affect others, whether it's directly or by some chance occurrence. If I'm sad, it won't help anything. It will only hurt my relationship with others. No one wants to be around someone that thinks so low of themselves that all they do is pout.

I'm going to radiate confidence from now on. Well, I'm going to try. Working out again and making the attempts to look my best should definitely help in the beginning.

6:36 PM

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[14 Jan 2009 | Wednesday]

Inauguration Day. T-minus 6

Oh snap. History in the making. I can't wait!

No, I'm not an Obama "nut" thinking he will change everything right away. Yes, I did vote for him.

11:32 PM

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[14 Jan 2009 | Wednesday]

2008 Recap

2008 was pretty interesting. A lot of change happened but it ended exactly the opposite of how it started... and exactly the same as years ago.

So to start, I was dating this guy after Patrick and I broke up shortly. I had my own apartment, in a not so nice area and I was in and out of the hospital. It wasn't the happiest place in the world to be but it was mine.

I ended up moving to a nicer area, by myself still but then I was single. I didn't mind that all that much but it wasn't my ideal position.

A lot of bad things happened there, which some of you know a lot about and I think you very much for helping me get through that. (Why I had to change apartments.) While it scared me and at first, seemed to break me, it actually made me just stop being such a sissy in the long run.

Oh yeah, in the meantime, Patrick and I got back together.

I had a couple jobs. A call center, retail/photography and hospitality.

I moved to a darn nice place in Brandon, with Patrick... and our 2 roommates... and my cat. We have more computers than people, a flat screen TV in every single room, more gadgets than you can imagine and the architecture of the place is awesome. It's even gated with controlled entry. I like that part.

I had surgery to correct what was making me so sick for the past like... 5 years. I'm still getting used to things working exactly how they should but it's so great.

I still have migraines but I'm going to have a procedure to get rid of those soon as well so that works out.

I guess everything ended up being near perfect in the long run. Even the relationship with Patrick has improved since we first met. By the way, it'll be 4 years since our first date in 10 days. I can't believe it.

Time flies. Sometimes it's a good thing because you get out of bad situations faster. Sometimes it's bad though because you don't ever seem to have enough time to fully enjoy the awesome parts. It works out in the end though... one way or another.

4:44 PM

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