I've been thinking practically all day today- and i believe that i have actually figured things out. Although im sure by this time next week i will have "figured out" something that counter-acts everything i am about to say and so the revolving door begins to spin.
I believe that love- i mean true love- is unattainable. Completly out of the human grasp or maybe just mine- Both physically, emotionally, and mentally. I dont think that it is possible for one human to find another that they are even 70 percent compatable with and that to actually say you have found some one out of the billions of people on this planet- to say that you have found that one person that you completely without a doubt believe that you are suppose to be with and one who feels the same for you- well i believe that you are either very lucky or delusional.
Dont get me wrong I get girls- just not the ones i need to be with. I meet the girls that i could be with and probabley maintain a stable health and romantic relationship with but- they are fit one of four catogories. Taken,Striaght, Deep Inscurities, or best friend. And they all pretty much tell me the same thing depending on the catogory. Taken- you are too perfect hun but im with____ and i couldnt do that to them you know. But if we ever dont work out your my first choice i promise..."ALWAYS WORKS OUT". Straight- if you had a dick you'd be the perfect man, but i cant because your not a guy umm i cant...sorry. Deep Inscurities- Ive been skrewed over by too many people and i cant handle a relationship, i dont know if i could ever trust anyone again, you can do so much better than me followed by self insults. "WHICH I HATE BECAUSE THEY ARE GENERALLY BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT LADIES" Bestfriends- charlie, your too cute but no...i love you like a brother, and thats it or charlie aww im touched but it be weird since your like family.Love you though. "WHICH ONLY ADDS INSULT TO INJURY BTW"
Im a decently nice guy you know.5 foot 9 inches, strong but more of a lover than a fighter. I rarely lie. I stay out of mainstream drama, believe in treatng all ladies with respect and occassionally do the corny yet adored things that make most girls cry in only the best OF ways, and i yet DONT have a girlfriend and dozens of jerkfaces that beat on their girls do.
I didnt think i was that picky ya know. I just want a nice girl that i can see when ever possible and get to know over time. One that i can sit outside with, stare at the stars until she falls asleep in my arms or one that wouldnt get mad at me for waking her up so that we could watch the sun rise together. A girl who would rather cuddle up next to me with a blanket in front of a fire place with a few movies(of her choice of course) than go get wasted or stoned at a party or whatever. A girl who isnt going to yell at me for calling her beautiful instead of sexy (believe it or not i have been yelled at for that lol) and that isnt afraid to be herself around me. One who i dont need to brag about because everytime my friends or family see me near her they understand why i care so much about her. The one that will trust me with everything and knows that because of my character i wont ever hurt her. That will let me be her Superman, and who will in turn be my eternal peace in this world of choas.
but idk i guess im just asking for a lot from one person and i just need to settle for who ever i come across.
Ehh... give me your imput if u actually spent enough time reading this entire rambling of thoughts.Comment this blog I need others input- male and female whether i personally know you or not. Thanks in advance.