My best friend of 26 years is an alcoholic.  And I hate that, because he’s killing my best friend.  However, I have had enough time to process his addiction and I have drawn this conclusion.  Drinking is what he does.  It’s not who he is.  In 26 years, he’s been a real friend.  He is one of the most loyal, responsible, trustworthy, intelligent, caring, generous, thoughtful, patient, understanding, ethical men I have ever known in my life.  I know what you’re thinking.  How can an alcoholic be responsible?  Simple.  It’s who he is.  He doesn’t go out & drive when he drinks.  He goes to work every day.  He’s never late nor does he miss work.  He pays his bills on time.  He is financially responsible.   Who he is as a person is not defined by what he chooses to do to himself.  The same cannot be said for all alcoholics or addicts of any kind, but I think it is important to see a person for who he is rather than what he does.  I know people who don’t drink at all, but they are irresponsible.  It’s who they are.   To me, it’s the same as someone saying, “I am a waitress” or “I am a runner.”  That’s what they do.  It’s not who they are.  To get to know someone, you have to get to know them on a deeper level.

I get very ill at people who judge others based on what they see on the surface and I’m quick to call them out on it.  I wonder if the ones who are judging don’t see something in themselves they dislike in that person?  I also wonder if they have ever taken the time to sit down with the person they are judging and ask them why they do the things they do—rationally, human being to human being, and actually care about what the answer is.  Because there is always a reason why people do the things they do.  It may not seem logical on the surface, but when you get to the root of the problem, there’s a better chance of solving it.  Some people never ask themselves why they do the things they do.  And that’s a shame.  So is judging a book by its cover.  If you really want to know what’s inside, you have to go in and find out. 

In life, you eventually learn that you get out of it what you put into it—your career, your education, your family, your friendships, your marriage—everything.  If you put your care, your heart, your soul, your happiness into everything you do, I think you’ll find you get that and so much more in return.  Don’t waste it on the people or things that aren’t worth your time and attention.  Because life is short and there’s a lot of ground to cover.  So put your time and energy into the things that are worth it. Keep the things worth keeping.  Let everything else go. 

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

These great questions and answers are from the days when '   Hollywood  Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde:  Loneliness!

       (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the  Camp   Fire  Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q.. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh