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Michael Anthony Smith


Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 44
Sign: Libra

City: Rheems
State: Pennsylvania
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/15/2005

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Saturday, December 12, 2009 
I made some Christmas Music. I'd love for you to hear it. Please visit my other page at www.myspace.com/michaelanthonysmithband and listen.

I know I'm not as cool as you other guitar totin' kids out there, but I think it's a nice couple of songs.. There's mistakes, but it was fun to make, and hopefully fun to listen too..
6:27 AM 
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Friday, December 04, 2009 
Those folks who travel the Pennsylvania Turnpike between Harrisburg and Philly, know the importance of the Valley Forge Interchange. That's where the turnpike takes hold of I-76 and drives you to Ohio. To me, it's the point where you are in "Philly". Coming back from Philly, or the Jersey Shore, that interchange signals the driver that they are done cheating death on the "Sure Kill" expressway, and for about 75 miles to Harrisburg, there is a rest stop or two that I frequent.. When I make the approach onto the Turnpike, there is a building I'd be fixated on. It's an office building not much different than any other office building.. It's 6 stories, and I would think.. Whoever works in that building probably has a good job, and must be pretty smart. I wish I was that guy...

Today, I was in King Of Prussia Pa. From time to time, my day job as an inside sales rep for a document management company requires me to spend time in our other offices. Today i was there. You can throw a rock to the Valley Forge interchange. I went into the radio station early this morning, and recorded my airshift so that after work I can take a leisurely trip home.

It is time for me to tell you of an addiction I have. I can't quit. I am hooked on.... Ikea Meatballs. Now i know what you are thnking.. You're probably thinking.. "Ikea is a store that sells furniture that you have to assemble.... How good can furniture store food really be?"

Let me tell you..It's good. So good that, before I went to the grocery dept. (they have one of those too..) I went upstairs to their restaurant. There is also one downstairs. Upstairs, you can get a dinner of Meatballs, Smashed Potatoes and Some-kinda-berry jelly. And I did. And it was delicious. After I was done, I went downstairs and bought my back of meatballs, and the two packets of gravy mix that is required to pull the whole thing off..

I set the navigation box for home, and going from I-476 to I-76, traffic was heavy...I had Steely Dan to keep me company..I have been revisiting albums that I hated when they were first released. I hated the Gaucho album. But 29 years later..I like it.

And approaching the mainline of traffic, I noticed that building again. And after a closer look. I noticed that, I had spent the day working in that building. Score.
2:27 AM 
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Saturday, November 21, 2009 
I woke up this morning as I do most mornings.. I got myself ready for my day job, working in the glamorous world of document management. 'Not what you'd expect from a high speed radio mogul.. But yes..I have a desk job, one that I enjoy.. I'm good at it.. I posses a history of being good at what I do.. When I was a kid, my dream was to be a professional musician, and a broadcaster.. That was the dream.. I had it nailed by 25. Everything else is gravy..

I drove into work this morning and heard that Oprah Winfrey is canning her own show and starting her network. I remember in 1980, she worked for channel 13 in Baltimore.. She was on a show called People Are Talking.. It was local media, she did OK I guess.. Well, look at her.. She did great. I've been kicking around the Harrisburg for a while, and while I don't profess to be another Oprah.. But over the years I've done a few interviews, I'm witty... wildly talented and humble..I think I'd make a great talk show host.

I WANT MY OWN TV TALKSHOW.



Now, I'm well aware that in the world of "well groomed TV people", I'm persona non gratta, which is precisely why I think I would be great. I am ready to take Oprah's place.

Now I know what some of you are saying.. You're saying "Michael....This is going to be one of those goofy things you did like running for president when there wasn't an election.." Yeah.. Maybe I didn't plan my campaign so good.. But I am putting together a staff... Of people who I am going to ask, to help me from doing goofy things like launching a career as Commander In Chief.

I promise to make the Michael Anthony Smith Talkshow Show wildly entertaining. Now I need to find the forms for a Network talkshow.. I guess there has to be some paperwork involved.. There's probably an activation fee like with cell phones. I'll try and scrape that together.. I'm going to need a camcorder, and a sweet desk for me to sit behind, and a couch.. Rick Johns, the guy who is working on my album is going to be the band leader.. Yes, I'll have a band.. And maybe a sidekick if I can find someone who can stand to be in a room with me for more than an hour. And I'll need cool and witty guests.. I'll also read viewer mail, and Jack Hanna will not be invited.. You wanna bring a puma on the show..You better have him in a crate.. I ain't gonna be mauled on TV by a jungle cat..

I need to build a set somewhere.. and I think the show will have some real teeth if I could get some TV channel to play it. Maybe I get that info after I turn in the form..


Currently listening:
The Harder They Come
Release date: 2001-06-26
5:39 AM 
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Friday, November 20, 2009 
You know what I like? I like when I put something somewhere, and when I need it, I know exactly where I put it and I go get it. This is great when you live by yourself. Your system never gets breached, you are in complete control of your destiny. I have a family now. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, there are those dynamics that drive me over the edge.

I'll explain..

You know that saying, "Out of sight, out of mind"? They made that one about me. For example, if I buy a bottle of hot sauce, which I love on just about anything I eat ( I suggest "Pain is good - Jamaican Jerk Hot Sauce"), I like to put in somewhere in the door of the fridge. Usually where it's within an eye shot of me. With other people in the house, my hot sauce goes from being in the door of the fridge to being under the lawnmower in the garage. Things get moved around to such a degree that I forget that I have the hot sauce, or leftover pot roast.. I know we have mustard...Minced garlic.. an amazing variety of half filled jugs of Iced tea.. But somewhere in the labyrinth of the fridge is the good stuff. And I don't learn about it, until it morphs into another life form, and we have to toss it.

My own environment has taken on this troublesome quality. I love order. I like to know where things are.. My area is the basement, which can serve as a halfway decent man cave when it's not getting flooded and destroying half of my record collection... (I've lost thousands of dollars worth of stuff because I was told it didn't flood and *this* would be the best place to keep them... (That being ground zero)...

Anyhoo..My stuff is ugly.. I have records, CD's and action figures.. Toy cars, guitars, drum kits, amplifiers.. There is no way this stuff will make it to our living room. But everything is in disarray down there. My problem is, I suffer from chronic loneliness. If there is nobody to talk too, I usually don't stay in the room. The radio station did a day long concert a couple of weeks ago, and I felt like an animal in traffic..There was no anchor.. No person who would stay with me, and talk..or listen. So much activity, so much moving around... So I just kind of careened around the room like a pinball.. That's sort of what happens to me when I am trying to organize the basement. I  want to get my CD's straightened out. I have about 30 some odd milk crates full of cd's. I alphabetize them by artist, then by the order in which they were released... Pink Floyd.. Dark Side, Wish You were here, Animals, The wall... Get it? Ok..  Over the years, the wedding gigs and the invention of the iPod have forced me to shuffle my whole collection like a deck of cards.. I have spent the last two nights, getting the "A's" together..Not filed away..But together.. I'm about 1/3 through em..

I can't imagine me getting through this during my life time. It's huge..

But I hate not knowing where things are.. I hate not knowing where my friends are.. and I hate not knowing if I'm in the right place or not. This is some of what's keeping me awake..

Careening around the house.. Wondering what to do..
Currently listening:
The Sleep-Over, Vol. 1
By Various Artists
Release date: 2006-02-07
3:30 AM 
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009 
Here is a shocker for you.. I suffer from a total lack of focus. I'm sure you are surprised. Imagine...ME! Unfocused.. Ok.. Stop laughing..

I don't know if other people do what I'm about to describe here.. I'd be interested in finding out.

When I'm engaged in certain activities, my mind wanders to a specific place, during a specific point in time. Not to get too personal here, but many times when I'm engaged in well.. the things that two consenting adults do.. I get the mental picture of my elementary school back in Hawaii. I went to Kuhio Elementary from the 4th to the 6th grade. And while I was in the 4th and 5th grade, we were housed in a palatial pink building. It was built in 1922. It was a beautiful structure. I've looked all over the internet for pictures of the building but came up with nada. In 1975 it was demolished because there was enough asbestos in the building to bring down Godzilla. But to the dumb fat kid who went there... I didn't care about asbestos.. I just knew that this building was magnificent. It was truly beautiful. With hardwood floors, courtyards, and a huge library.

During these times when my senses are in overdrive, I think back to either being in that library, or rounding the corner of the building facing King Street in Honolulu. The mental picture is always the same.

There are other times when I'm playing music, I'll get the mental picture of being at the shopping center in Pearl City Hawaii... Near where the Kam Highway and Waimano Home Road meet, there was a branch of the First Hawaiian Bank.. I get this picture of my approaching that bank. For the record, I did my banking at American Savings in Hawaii..I have no idea why this bank was significant, other than the fact that it was in close proximity to a McDonalds that sometimes enters my mind. Hawaiian McDonalds are unique in that they are (or at least "were" in the 1970's) exposed to the elements.. There were no doors, windows, it was pretty much open. Sometimes I picture myself inside that McD's.. In the same spot..

When I am at work, (at the radio station) during weather reports.. No matter the time of year, I have a mental picture of me on the beach in Rehoboth Delaware, approaching the boardwalk near the hotel we used to stay at. Again.. I am approaching at the same angle, and speed. I see the same scenery around me..

I can't think of anything that happened at any of these locations or times, other than my brain possibly taking a snapshot that projects itself when certain synapses fire off in this melon like head of mine.

These thoughts aren't bad or unwelcome. Although I am curious as to why *these* pictures are the ones that come up. There is a huge gap in time, from the Pearl City pictures, which are the most current before the gap.. My memory puts them in the 1976/1977 range. Then the Rehoboth images are from the early 2000's.

I'm also curious about the 23 year gap...
Currently listening:
Mutations
By Beck
Release date: 1998-11-03
3:40 AM 
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009 

Current mood:Livid
When I woke up this morning at 6:30, I felt fine. I went through my normal routine of getting a shower, and getting dressed and headed off to work. To do my job. I felt fine..Nothing could be better.

By lunch time, I was a wreck. At about 10 am, I started having difficulty breathing. I've dealt with this a million times before. I've had asthma since the 1960's.. This is not my first rodeo.

But as the hour progressed, it became clear to me that I had to go to the doctor. I went through the normal regiment of breathing management. They said I have bronchitis, which is by far a bigger pain in the ass than asthma will ever be. I can't even talk. I have a feeling I'm going to find out that I have something worse than Bronchitis. Everything hurts, and getting up has got to bring on the most miserable sensation I've ever had..

I've dealt with some ills in the past.. But this pisses me off. I can't be "me" now. I can't do my job, I can't play music, I can't do my radio show. I'm totally grounded right now, and I'm pissed off.

I hate being sick.
Currently listening:
Oxygene
By Jean Michel Jarre
Release date: 1993-09-21
2:40 AM 
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Monday, November 02, 2009 
One day on my Twitter page, I posted that, the problem with cookies, is that you are done eating the cookie long before you are through enjoying the experience.

Warren Zevon said on the Letterman show, shortly before he passed to "Enjoy Every Sandwich". It was that moment that I realized that I had eaten many sandwiches in my lifetime. But never really stopped to take in the moment of enjoying the treat. In a book I am reading, it says that in eating, or any other activity, you should immerse yourself and all of you senses into it.

I love baseball.

My two favorite teams couldn't win a game even if they played each other. It has been days where I've spent the afternoon sitting in Oriole Park at Camden Yards, or at Nationals Park watching a game, where I've taken the time to realize...I am at my happy place, and life is beautiful and I'm glad to be alive. Because if I wasn't alive, I could not be sitting down the first base line watching my beloved teams..

And tonight, after a rare Sunday off..I am watching the World Series.. I am rooting for the Phillies, who would be my 3rd favorite team. And after this series is over..

The baseball season is over. Again.. Long before I want it to be.
Currently listening:
Wait For Me
By Moby
Release date: 2009-06-30
3:43 AM 
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Friday, October 09, 2009 

Current mood:eslvndghdnvxjhvdkvhd
I'm going to try something here. Ever since 1998 or so, when I started typing these blog words, I've tried to describe the experience when my head does horrible things to me.

Do you know that feeling when you are running behind schedule, or are late? I hate to be late for anything. I continuously live with the feeling that one has, when he's running late to the time clock, or about to miss the bus or train. Which actually makes my skills getting to a bus pretty good.. But it makes my day to day life a living hell. Because I can be sitting at my desk doing my job, and suddenly feel this sense of urgency am about to blow a deadline, even though everything is on schedule. Pretty much, my brain is always chasing after a bus to catch it, even when I'm already on the bus.

Here's some other things that happen.. A lot. I have poor relationship skills with people. I'm not saying I am a jerk, even though some will tell you I can be a five star tool when I want to be.. I am absolutely dreadful at forming relationships with people. I am terrible at dating women, and probably even worse at being a boyfriend. Just ask Alethea. So, what I've done, is I pretty much put everyone in the same boat. I love everybody. If you are my friend, you are entitled to a lot of me. Emotionally speaking. I don't go "Oh.. Karl, he's a guy I have lunch with, Brad and I go way back, and I think that other person's name is Helen".. Everyone gets a seat at the table. Which is good if you're one of the 4th string people that should be put on the 4th string..  I really should consolidate the people in my life to a more intelligent ranking or for lack of a better word pecking order.

Because here's what happens. When someone gets angry with me, frustrated or whatever, it really IS the end of the world for me. I can't stand the thought of letting my family down, or a friend down.. If someone turns down my friendship, that's the worst feeling in the world. Now, a normal person would say. "F 'em". My brain operates in a total chaotic state.

Alethea has tried for years to act as a buffer between the crazed peanut gallery and my casserole of a head, until she herself has become a part of the screaming masses.

Last night I posted something somewhere on one of the websites I'm constantly posting too.. Tooter, or face space.. whatever.. I said "I'm getting really tired of having to deal with me all the time". Some folks took it as me being melancholy or sad. Which I am prone to do. What I meant was that I am tired of my brain doing 90 MPH in terror, when I'm sitting on my couch trying to decompress. I always feel late. I always feel like I am about to let some important person in my life down, and I always feel like I'm one heartbeat away from losing the people in my life that I love the most.

All week, I've been dealing with the emotional barrage that accompanies the days after a full moon, which my dear friend Kim Rodkey always said wreaks havoc on me. My brain is going too fast. And it's going in the wrong direction.

My nerves are rung out. And this is when I don't want anyone to see me. I'm not sad, or depressed.. I'm just beat up right now, and I feel late for something. I hope someone can understand that.
2:13 AM 
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Monday, October 05, 2009 

Current mood:Sad
You see that picture of me up there? That's me playing guitar for one of my favorite bands of all time. Grantham. I'm either playing a song I wrote, or a song I helped write or a song written by Ruby before she joined the band.

Here's something I bet you didn't know..

I was scared shitless.

The circuit in my head that allows me to just swagger onstage and strap on a guitar or jump behind a drum kit has fried. I gotta either fix it or change it. I've tried everything, and the idea of playing live just scares the fuck out of me. I don't think I belong onstage anymore. It's been brought to my attention by a few people that I'm dead right. I'm not made for the masses, I'm ok with that.

I've decided to stop. I'm gonna stop. Very soon, will be my last show with Out Of Nowhere. I love these guys. But I can't continue to play with terror and panic waging a war in my head every second. It's gotten to the point where I don't see the audience as "welcome". And there's really no reason for it. THAT bothers me.

The seats in front of the stage will be much comfortable than my drum seat for a while. Some people understand this. Some people don't. The band needs a drummer.. BAD. If you want to make some money and play shows.. There's an open gig if you can cut the material.

Go to www.myspace.com/oonbandrocks

For whatever reason, every possible terrifying scenario plays itself out in my head while I'm playing. It's quite possibly the devil just trying to get in the middle of something that I've enjoyed all of my life. It bothers me that I don't get the high that used to get out of drumming.

I'll admit, there's some emotional issues that I need to treat, that I haven't treated for a number of years. And perhaps when I can get out of the light for a little while, I'll do that. Music, which is something that has ran through my blood ever since I was an infant, actually is the cause of some of the pain I'm dealing with.

I still make music, I'm recording my own material, and anyone who works with me in that environment can tell you I am ten times more impossible to deal with in that situation than I am in a band situation. Just try to get me to show up.

I need downtime. I want to take my daughter trick or treating, I want to spend the weekends with my family. And maybe go watch the band.

This feeling of retreat is not only in my musical life, I'm trying as hard as I can to keep it from rusting into other things.. I don't know why I'm like this. It bothers me.

I don't want to be "seen" if that makes any sense. I know I'm letting some people down. I don't expect for them to understand, even though I wish they could. I am planning for my last show to be at Cheers on October 24, unless they decide to send me packing before that. It'd be great if some friends could show up for the remaining shows, and convince me that I'm wrong.
10:25 PM 
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 
I remember one day, in the 2nd grade in Suitland Maryland, I was convinced that the entire world hated me. This memory doesn't rear it's ugly head too often. Which I'm glad about. But it seems like ever since that day in 1972, it seemed like there was a disconnect between me and the "normal kids".

I have a wonderful menagerie of friends. Some of them are among the most quirky that I'll ever meet, some are 180 degrees opposite of me in every way. Some are in the rock and roll hall of fame. Which is pretty cool.

I get to feeling bad if I notice that my amount of friends on my facespaces go down, or if I don't make any twitter friends. These internet marvels of today have made it very easy for a painfully shy albeit loud talking introvert to make friends.

I drive myself crazy over those few people who I find interesting, and would pursue friendship with, who find me icky.

It makes me feel bad, because when I dwell on those people, I alienate the ones who took a chance on me, and gave me a great return on my friendly investment of faith.

I get prone to large bouts of sadness. I've been feeling melancholy over the anniversarry of a friend's passing, my own anniversarry of birth coming up this week.. The inventory of things that I'm not getting done. Like the basement, the alphabetizing of CD's and the completion of my own disc. Which I'm telling you...I'm wicked proud of. I can't wait for you to hear it.

I just wish, this occasional feeling of smallness wouldn't show up. Like at lunchtime when there's nobody in the lunch room with me, or when I'm at the radio station like tonight and nobody shows up on my computer screen.

I know you're out there. I know I shouldn't feel the way I feel.. Maybe it'll pass during the next song..
1:05 AM 
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