Todd Justice's MySpace Blog

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Friday, April 03, 2009

YeeHaw, I Do

http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/17065

MONTPELIER, Vt. — Vermont's House of Representatives gave preliminary approval Thursday night to a historic same-sex marriage bill, sending a clear message to the entire state.

"If we can marry our sister, we can marry our brother!"

1:14 PM

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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/17051

Friday, April 03, 2009

For The Pinfall

British websites today are mostly shrugging off Michelle Obama's"extraordinary" breach of protocol with Queen Elizabeth yesterday.Obama correctly curtsied, but then put her arm around the Queen, who returned the gesture and added the Iron Claw.

12:38 AM

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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Next Week ... at the Tulsa Loony Bin!

All my rowdy friends in Oklahoma are invited!

April 8-12
TULSA LOONY BIN
6808 S. MEMORIAL DRIVE STE 234
TULSA, OK 74133
Reservations: 918-392-5653

See ya there!!!

11:50 PM

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Thursday, April 02, 2009

This One Is On Me

I met a couple today, and during the conversation the subject turned to drinking alcohol. The wife said, "We don't drink, we're Christians." I told her I drink and I'm Catholic (which I believe is also Christian, if I'm not mistaken). This bothered me for the rest of the day.
Admittedly, the conversation more or less ended shortly thereafter and I'm honestly not sure how she meant what she said. So, I'd like to play the devils' advocate to the possibilities ...

A. She was joking - if so, her delivery was all wrong. If you are trying to be funny with such a delicate issue, you end the statement with a huge smile and a small laugh to make it clear you meant no insinuation with the comment even if the statement happens to be true (which I believe it was).

B. Along with being a Christian, she has also made the personal decision not to drink - Ok, fair enough. With that I have no problem. Perhaps she felt the need for a qualifier as to why she made that decision.

C. Proper Christians do not drink - I'm personal proof this is a horribly wrong conclusion. Not to mention that from a comedic perspective, Jesus turned water into wine. He could have just cleaned it.

Now that I've gotten that off of my mind, I feel better. Which begs the question ...

Leave it alone, or make it worse? :-)

10:32 PM

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Monday, February 16, 2009

That Is My Baby

http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/16210

LONDON (AP) — A DNA test will be performed to determine if a 13-year-old boy fathered a baby with his 15-year-old girlfriend, his spokesman said Monday. Several other teenage boys have also come forward claiming to be the father of the newborn baby girl.

Can I throw my name in the hat?

Maybe we should take a poll ...
"How many people in the world have ever slept with this chick?"

7:17 PM

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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/16212

Monday, February 16, 2009

Seperate This

President Barack Obama, signaling early in his administration that religion belongs in the public discourse, has promised to open a big can of whoop-ass on anyone who disagrees with him.

6:44 PM

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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/16209

Monday, February 16, 2009

Route 66

In order to help get the embattled U.S. auto industry back on track and oversee its progress, President Obama has elected not to appoint anyone to the position of "Car Czar". It's now called the "Chevy Heavy".

5:58 PM

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Monday, February 16, 2009

Sleep Number

There's nothing more comfortable than a warm, soft, expensive bed in someone else's house.

5:10 PM

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Monday, February 16, 2009

Altus, OK

I just returned from a one-niter in Altus, OK at the Air Force base there. Whew-hew! The people were great, big audience, tiny-ass town. I researched Altus and Oklahoma online before I went and found out some interesting tidbits.
Altus is actually an anagram for Tulsa, which I don't understand at all. You couldn't come up with your own unique name? Surely there's a dictionary somewhere in that town. At what point did someone get too frustrated and go, "Just take Tulsa and mix up the letters."
Then again, I also learned that "Altus" is Latin for the word "high". I kid you not. And the place is so small, they have a saying there, "Altus ... It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here!"
I learned that a man named Bob Dunn, from Oklahoma, invented the first electric guitar. The electric guitar, of course, went on to worldwide use, fame, and acclaim. Bob Dunn? Uh, not so much.
They have some of the wildest laws I have ever read in Oklahoma. For instance ...

- PEOPLE WHO MAKE "UGLY FACES" AT DOGS MAY BE FINED OR JAILED.
Apparently, the entire state was experiencing entirely too many canine heart attacks.

- WHALING IS ILLEGAL.
Yeah, especially in your backyard.

- IT IS ILLEGAL FOR THE OWNER OF A BAR TO ALLOW ANYONE INSIDE TO PRETEND TO HAVE SEX WITH A BUFFALO.
When did this become a problem? "There goes Jimmy again ... would somebody call the police?"

And finally, for the coup de gras ...

- IT IS ILLEGAL TO HAVE THE HIND LEGS OF FARM ANIMALS IN YOUR BOOTS.
The mental image of a Sooner fan getting busted is priceless.

Til next time ...

3:44 PM

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