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The Woe Betides



Last Updated: 11/25/2009

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Status: Single
City: London/Birmingham
State: London and South East
Country: UK
Signup Date: 9/27/2007

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Saturday, November 28, 2009 

Current mood:  breezy
November 25th
The Monarch, Camden

Off we go again on the promotion trail, this time in a futile attempt to get Natwest Tower to number one. And so the tour began where the last one left off: London town. On this occasion we found ourselves in the majestic Monarch on a stage in front of a big plate glass window. Not much of a sound check due to dodgy roadworks but the sound onstage was one of the best we have had.

Plenty of friendly faces were there to spur us on and our demented ambition took succour in the fact that people managed to not laugh when we explained we were DEFINITELY going to beat X-Factor to number one. Felt so at home that we even tried some new material.

After the show we met even more lovely people who forced beers and Jager shots upon us and made sure that we got back on the road very late. Got to see The Indelicates play which was a real cherry on the toast. However, trouble was afoot when we climbed into the van and realised we were without mattress and an emergency south-london mattress rescue was needed.

We then set off for the next destination and managed to get within 3 centimetres of it before being pulled over by the police. Fortunately they were pro-mattress police and sent us home with nay more than a thick ear about slowing down suspiciously in front of a police officer at five in the morning.

SET LIST: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / Road to the Cemetery / What Can't Be Taken Back / Persian Punch

November 26th
The End, Newcastle

So, our debut appearance in Newcastle was cancelled at the last minute by the promoter. H'way the toon!

Making the most of our day off, we stopped off in Oxford to search for a replacement shaker after someone threw our last one into the audience at the Monarch. It was not retrieved. If anyone knows the whereabouts of a small green skull that makes a shakey noise when... err... shaken, do drop us a line.

We elected Birmingham as the place to stay for the night, and just before we tucked ourselves in there was a bone-shuddering thump on the window of the Colonel's palace. In walks Soldier, a 7'2” monster of a man. Apparently he was a mere 6'11” a couple of years ago, but a motorbike accident stretched his spine out a few more inches for good measure. He bumps into lampshades and crushes your bones to dust with his handshake, but he was terribly sweet.

Moving on...

Kro Bar, Manchester
Currently listening:
Dirt
By Alice in Chains
Release date: 2001-12-10
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 

Category: Automotive
Get the Woebies to Xmas Number One

Ambitious, moi? Or should that be 'nous'?

Some of our new songs we've been playing on the road for a few months, so many of you will already be familiar with NatWest Tower, which surprised us all by becoming something of a live favourite. Not bad for a song without a proper chorus.

With that in mind, we're releasing NatWest Tower as our download-only Christmas single. Sure, it's about as Christmassy as bermuda shorts, but what the hell? We're aiming for the top and we need your help getting there. Last year Alexandra Burke sold 576,000 downloads of Hallelujah in the week before Christmas, so we've got a lot of work to do if we're going to beat that. We don't personally keep up with X-Factor, but I don't expect you'll think us arrogant to say that whatever it is they're offering this year won't be as good as NatWest Tower. Let's face it.

NatWest Tower will be released on Monday 14th December all over the world in just about every digital store you can think of, so you shouldn't have trouble finding it. The obvious ones are iTunes, Amazon and Napster. Once you've found it, buy it! Buy it for yourself, buy it for someone else, buy another one for yourself, tell other people to buy it, force them even. With your hands. We should probably be aiming for at least 3/4 million downloads to be safely ahead of the competition, so every little helps...

************

Get the Woebies to Xmas Number One: the Tour!

Any self-respecting single release wouldn't be complete without a tour of course, so we're off round the country again to spread the message. Any excuse.

As part of the tour, we're stopping off at All FM in Manchester for a little interview and live session. If you live in the Manchester area, you can listen in on 96.9 FM or else listen online at www.allfm.org.





***********

Our new blog page

As for the rest of our recordings, the results will eventually be strung together and called an 'album' and we're hoping for a spring release. In the mean time, we'll be posting little teasers here and there as we go, which you can see on our new Tumblr page at www.thewoebetides.tumblr.com. We'll be regularly updating this with the standard barrage of photos, videos and outlandish suggestions.

************

Tune in next month for more info on the Christmas single and gig news. We're planning a launch party for December in London, but I can't say more than that right now. I really can't, sorry.

Cheers!
The Woebies
xxx

Follow us on Tumblr: www.thewoebetides.tumblr.com
Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/thewoebetides
The Play Dead EP is available to download from iTunes, Amazon and Napster


Currently listening:
Northern Lights (His Dark Materials)
By Philip Pullman
Release date: 1998-10-16
Tuesday, August 04, 2009 

Current mood:  catalyzed
Category: Blogging
Day 1: Saturday 1st August

Cambridge, The Corner House

Setlist:
Boredom is the Killer (a cappella) / Under the Sand / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery / The Dam and the Reservoir / This Head, This Heart

As first nights go, this one pretty much ticked all boxes. It being a rainy Saturday in Cambridge outside of term-time, and without the Atlas-like support of Colonel Sexlife behind us (below us?), we were a little unsure of how our opening show would turn out. Fortunately, our fears were unfounded. Playing as a 2-piece for the first time in a good while provided an opportunity to take something of a nostalgia trip as well as trying out new material in a different style. We loved the gig, and the crowd were notably receptive. This was the first outing of our timid friend WoeCam and the gentle souls standing before the stage were only too glad to provide encouragement for the little fellow. The folk at the Corner House were especially accommodating, plying us with drinks, providing ample technical support and even, as it turned out, acting as the support band for the night. What a multifarious bunch.

Huge love must go to the man that is Mike, who not only put us up for the night but also took us out, forced whisky down our gulletts and showed us all of Cambridge. Literally. The whole of Cambridge. From atop a big hill. There were scotch eggs and shooting stars. Mike really knows how to put on a show. How does he do it? There are rumours he only sleeps an hour every night.

We threw stuff at each other, collapsed into bed and slept like babies. Drunk babies that smell of eggs.


DAY 2: SUNDAY 2nd AUGUST

Norwich, The Birdcage

Setlist: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery / The Dam and the Reservoir / Your Fists, Your Love

We woke up in a bit of a daze to the sound of our own EP playing somewhere in the distance. There is nothing quite so sobering as hearing someone listen to your own songs first time and then skipping to the next track halfway through...

The set in Cambridge had been fun but we were in need of reinforments to help take it to the next level in Norwich. Enter Colonel Sexlife.

The Colonel had been on manoeuvres as usual but joined us just in the nick of time. Despite the fact that he looked a little distant, nay, glassy eyed on his arrival, he added an extra pep to our step and we hit the road like a frustrated asphalter.

Due to local neighbourhood complaints, the venue in Norwich had been set up with a little device for monitoring the sound levels so we had to play a quiet set involving a cymbal-less drum kit covered in tea towels. The sound was great and the show a lot of fun despite us having to cast the occasional nervous glance over our shoulder to find out if we were singing any illegal notes.

The lovely Lewis and Carson kept us entertained after the show with some good chat on the subject of comedy and with a quiet song in our hearts we headed off to a nice Travelodge and built a fort with the beds where we told ghost stories until the wee hours. Unfortunately the mixture of East Anglian air and our potent storytelling powers raised evil spirits and filled the fort with a spooky vibe. It was destroyed before the moon could set.


DAY 3: MONDAY 3rd AUGUST

Hull, The Adelphi Club

Setlist: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery / Persian Punch

Waking up under a crackling pylon, lying on the toppled walls of a house of evil seemed a fitting way to start a day full of absurdity. Simon has been tossing and turning all night convinced that he has been gripped by a swine-like fever, the Colonel has grown horns during the night and Grundy has to leave the band to make their way to Hull without him. Yes, it would be far too easy for us all to make the drive from Norwich to Hull together, so he decides to factor in a small detour to London for himself. So what would have been a one hundred and fifty mile trip turned into a three hundred and fifty mile trip. Well we have to stay on our toes don't we?

But we managed to borrow a Sat Nav for the tour, so Simon and the Colonel would be alright, surely? Of course not. The Psycho Robot Lady in the Box took them on the most scenic of routes around the east coast of England, meaning that despite having a shorter journey by around two hundred miles, they arrive at the same time as Grundy does in Hull, panting and dead-eyed.

And yet we were all very impressed by the city. First of all, it didn't smell of seaweed as we were lead to believe by some folk. Secondly, we had an amazing show. The Adelphi Club is a great little hideaway, tucked down a residential street and boasting an awesome bus bar. Yes folks, you've seen boat bars, now try the alternative. It's a bus and it's a bar and it's inside the building. There's also a big sign inside the Adelphi that reads: "Twinned With Your Darkest Thought". It stunned us into deep contemplation.

This was the first night of playing with our full set-up and we made the most of it, pulling out some beastly versions of the songs and having a damn good time doing it. We hung around for hours afterwards chatting to the audience and the club owner Paul, a good man if ever there was one. He's been doing this stuff for years and he's still a keen champion of good music, so give him the glad hand if you ever get the chance.

It was all going swimmingly, nothing could shake us after a show like that. Nothing except for the Psycho Robot Lady in the Box who felt that what we really needed right now was to have a little drive through Sherwood Forest before we climbed into bed around 5am. Thanks Garmin. You fuckers.


Day 4: TUESDAY 4th AUGUST

Ostensibly a day off, though in practice anything but. Yesterday we played in Hull. Tomorrow we will be playing Sheffield. It's sixty-five miles south west of Hull. A hour or so's drive down the road.

BORING! Let's take a trip to Gatwick Airport! Yay!

Never mind that it will add an extra four hundred miles or so onto the journey. Never mind that the vertebrae in Colonel Sexlife's spine have begun to grow spikes that are now protruding through his fleece jumper. Never mind that it's a bloody dumb idea. It might be a giggle.

And, oddly, it was. Despite the Psycho Sat Nav's attempts last night to strand us in the wilderness, we still managed to find time for Scooby Doo in the morning. And the gods of the motorways smiled on us, apparently sweeping all the other traffic off the roads to make the way clear for The Woebies. Have you ever tried earnestly singing along to Queen when you're crawling along in first gear? It's just not the same as hurtling down the carriageway in top gear with a fist in the air and an imaginary tash on your lip.

I've become painfully aware now that I'm beginning to sound a hell of a lot like Jeremy Clarkson. This is possibly my worst nightmare, second only perhaps to spiders with wings, so I shall stop here.


Day 5: WEDNESDAY 5th AUGUST

Sheffield, The Red House

Setlist:
This Head, This Heart / Your Fists, Your Love / Sylvia / Under the Sand
/ The Road to the Cemetery / Natwest Tower

So we have reached the half way point in the tour and all is well. We've travelled hundreds of miles further than we actually needed to, but we don't care. These are good times. But inevitably things had to take a down turn.

Firstly, the crushing news is broken to us that Rebecca Raa from Stricken City has Real Deal Holifield Swine Flu and won't be able to play at Day in the Dark on Sunday. We're gutted. This most definitely pisses on our little parade. But soldier on we must; we jump in the car and head on up to Sheffield, determined to Make Some Rock Happen.

But it's almost as if the city of Sheffield itself is in mourning at the news of Raa's illness. There's no one around. If it wasn't for the heavy traffic on a nearby motorway and the noise of our own instruments I'm certain we'd hear crickets chirping. Where is everybody? We make all the noise we can muster, but it was as if it was all swallowed up into a black hole.
Dear, dear Sheffield, we hope to return to you soon and see you in full vigour.

We made our way swiftly to Bolton where we were spending the night with our dear old friend Ian, a masterful drummer and professional Peter Kay lookalike. As we were leaving Sheffield, he texted us a warning: "Careful on the Snake Pass, it's where the drummer from Def Leppard lost his arm". Zoinks.

The Snake Pass is a huge winding serpent that has slithered its way through the Peak District, connecting Sheffield and Manchester. It is beautiful and deadly, especially at night, so it was with a mixture of anticipation and dread that we took on the snake. We slalomed our way through the Pennines, gazing out across the rolling hills glowing silver under the full moon and
fearing for our lives. It may have been the moonlight, but the colonel was beginning to look a great deal more brutish, his shoulders twice as bulky as yesterday, dark tufts of hair creeping over his collar. Having made it half way without losing any limbs, we celebrated by pulling off to the side of the road and howling at the moon. Something in the darkness howled back. We stepped quietly back into the car and got the fuck out of there.

The view over Manchester as you come out of the hills is inspirational. We had been holding our breath for about three quarters of an hour now, so it may have been the lack of oxygen in our brains but it felt a bit like floating along in a cloud, peering down on a little city full of little people miles below you. We descended into Bolton and the celestial imagery drifted from our minds.

Grundy was especially looking forward to seeing Ian as he lent him some Mars Volta albums a couple of years ago and was excited to finally be reclaiming them. Alas, it may be some time before boy and CDs are reunited as they have apparently been exported to Australia. *shakey fist*

You just can't be angry at the guy for very long though, what with his cheeky grin, his ridiculous Boltonian brogue and the free accommodation he gives you. We celebrated our survival of the snake. We drank and we were merry. We watched this. Hilarious and humbling.



Day 6: THURSDAY 6th AUGUST

Manchester, Fuel Cafe

Setlist: This Head, This Head / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery / Your Fists, Your Love / Persian Punch

Today had to be more bountiful. It just had to be. After having a traditional Boltonian breakfast (meat, eggs, a dozen cups of tea), we said our farewells to Ian and sprinted into the centre of town to meet the girls of The Leftover Sessions for an interview which turned out to be awesome fun. They're a really sweet bunch, and they take a unique approach to their interviews which was refreshing. Look out for the interview on their site. We enjoyed talking with them, but we had to made tracks for Withington.

We weren't entirely sure what to expect to be honest; we'd heard less than positive things about the area and the gangs of kids on low rider bikes hooting and howling around the car park didn't do much to assuage our concerns. But you'll find magic in the unlikeliest of places and it was in this unlikely place we met the legendary Phil Mushaboom and our old friend Tom Kerswill who made us feel right at home straight away. They even helped us find a helium baloon for the Colonel to suck on so he could get his voice back to the right pitch - it having started to resemble more of a feral growl.

We played with some lovely bands tonight and the show itself felt fantastic, aided by the fact that there was a sofa on stage that we could recharge our batteries on mid-song. Not that this was needed much as the handsome Manchester crowd kept us literally on our toes. Even the DJ played a noticeably well-orchestrated and perfectly chosen set. Just prior to eating we had the best pizza this side of the channel at Vespas which is worthy of a visit should you ever be in Withington. Get down to Fuel Cafe!

On the way back home the pack of low riders had taken control of the high street and the Colonel was getting twitchy so we made a fast escape, ignoring the scenic route Miss Garmin had planned for us which involved many small roads and no motorways despite there being a very big one between Manchester and our next destination, Oxford.


Day 7: FRIDAY 7th AUGUST

Brighton, The Hope

Setlist: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery

As is custom on any tour, a mention of how kind the traffic has been to you before the tour is done is not good squishee. Doh! The gods of the motorways were not smiling on us on our journey to Brighton. In fact, there is a broad consensus amongst theologians that the gods of the motorways have no sway on the M25 whatsoever. That road is seen as the devils domain.

Interestingly though, despite jam after jam, the M25 was where the Colonel seemed most at ease. He spent most of the journey practising his rudiments on his lap as he felt like his hands had changed shape and didn't have as much stick control anymore. All for the cause!

We arrived in Brighton late and walked into an empty venue and were told we were on. A quick set up and away we went thinking it was going to be another quiet one. After the first song we looked up and like that sneaky butler in Mr. Deeds, there was suddenly a lovely bunch of folks stood watching us. God bless the stealthy Brighton crowd!

After the show we caught the next band Prince Harry who exploded our heads with their gorgeous poppy weirdness and then headed off for food. Now it is not usually our policy to name check big faceless evil corporations but our friend Rishi owns a little Subway franchise on Bartholomew Square in Brighton and he took us there and treated us to the best subs one could hope for - those made with love. He then took us for a beach-side stroll and didn't try to grope us once. Unfortunately. Brighton beach on a dry Friday night is where the Woebies now hope they will wake up after they die... too much?

The only downside was the Colonel lost his glasses while scratching his bare back on the shale. Probably for the best as his eyeballs have started to protrude so much that the glasses were touching eye skin.

Back to London for some studio time before our final tour date in London!

Day 9: SUNDAY 9th AUGUST

London, Day in the Dark, The Legion

Setlist: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery/ Your Fists, Your Love

One of the best parts of touring is getting to see friends that you don't get to see in the everyday grind of real life. Not only did we get to see the excellent Milkbar crew from Norwich once again but we also got to see the entire House of Strange in one room; enough to blow our little heads almost all the way off our little bodies!

The Colonel, now more beast than man, was especially tickled (literally and metaphorically) by all the attention he received. His new furry form found much fuss although it did not hamper his performance! 

Due to a slight technical issue, the venue did not open at the required time and so a skinny indie gang began to form outside the venue. Suffice to say it was a force for good despite the repeated cries from The Colonel that we should occupy all the nearby restaurants and steal all the raw meat.  

Once in the venue The Colonel took to the decks and used his claws to great effect, creating one of the first DJ sets to comprise entirely of scratch with not a note of a song played.

The bands on the bill gave great accounts of themselves but special mention has to go to Tawny Owl and the Birds of Prey who broke everyones hearts and fixed them again with one swoop of their collective will. They then got tremendously drunk afterwards and were most amusing. They even joined us on the dance floor to celebrate the tours end with bad dancing to The Bug and Metric. 

As the night came to an end we loaded up the tour vehicle and said a number of last goodbyes, then we entered our directions into Ms. Garmin for the final time and instead of taking us back to the Midlands, she took us to Bexleyheath.  

In the end though, The Woebies had the last laugh when The Colonel ate her on the M40. 




 

Currently listening:
Mr. Bad Guy
By Freddie Mercury
Release date: 1990-10-25
Friday, July 31, 2009 
Hello Everyone,
To celebrate our tour (starts tomorrow!!) we have uploaded a brand new cover version to our myspace page. Its a little number by a band called Girls Aloud called Biology. It will be moved to the covers page next week but for now we think the sheer amusingness of it warrants front page coverage for a small while.

For those of you wondering why we covered this, have a listen to the Radio Scilly interview also up on the myspace player!! 

Let us know what you think and hopefully see some of you on the road next week!

x
Currently listening:
Wrong
By Nomeansno
Release date: 2004-05-24
Tuesday, June 09, 2009 

Current mood:  high
Category: Friends
Us Woebies have been busy this past weekend working on a little cultural exchange with our friend Rod Thomas aka Bright Light Bright Light. Remix swap!

Rod has remixed 'Under the Sand' for us and has morphed it into an entirely different beast altogether, like some sort of Pokemon. We've stuck it up on our player for your enjoyment. Let us know what you think! And if you really like it, why not head over to BLBL's Myspace and shower him with gratitude on our behalf?

We've also stuck up the Woemix of 'A New Word To Say' on our Woebies Play Your Favourites page. We've taken Rod's perfect little pop nugget and dirtied it up like the grubby little urchins we are. A Woebies Remix page may surface at some point (seems it's the done thing in these parts), but for now please head over there and have a listen to that too.

While we're on the subject, keep an eye on the Woebies Favourites page this month as we have a new cover in the works. It's going to cause a controversy.

*******

In other news, Grundy recently guested at The House of Strange video launch at the Space on the Isle of Dogs. Those boys sure know how to put on a show. Off the top of my head, I remember a giant air cannon, spinning sparklers, naked dancers, 3 costume changes and an aggressive docklands drunk, all housed in a converted church full of balloons and smoke. Then, of course, there were the amazing songs: touching and mind-fucking all at the same time. Lots of love for Ash and the gang. There is an excellent collection of pictures at Frankie Buckle's website, my favourite is the one where Grundy appears to be flipping off the poor cameraman for no apparent reason.

*******

... And finally, we only have one gig this month and it's this Sunday in Oxford, as part of Imstock at the Jericho Tavern. Johnny Flynn and J-Wo are playing and it's going to be a bloody special day. It would seem that all advance tickets are now sold out! In our experience with these things there's usually a handful of tickets on the door due to no-shows etc, so if you really really want to go you can take your chances - it would be awesome to have you there.

xxx

The Woebies



Currently listening:
Octahedron
By The Mars Volta
Release date: 2009-06-22
Monday, April 27, 2009 

Current mood:  thirsty
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, we hope you've all been enjoying 'Sarah and the Great Glass Safety Net'!

Moving on from the free music and onto the not-so-free music, it's Monday the 27th April, which means that the Play Dead EP is now officially available to everyone on iTunes, Amazon and Napster We feel right special and that. If you're not into that pre-historic put-the-plastic-disc-in-the-spinny-thing-malarky, then this one's for you. It's a masterpiece in ones and zeros. Who needs to touch music these days for Christ's sake?

We hope to see you on Wednesday at 229 club in London to celebrate!

love and drools,

The Woebies
x
Currently reading:
The Divine Invasion
By Philip K. Dick
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 

Category: Music
A brand new exclusive track "Sarah and the Great Glass Safety Net" is yours for free!! All you have to do is join the mailing list via the form at the bottom of the page and we will send a shiny Mp3 to your inbox!!
Thats it!! A completely free track. Yours. For Free!!
Also, Play Dead is out across the online world (amazon, napser, itunes) on April 27th and if you hadn't noticed we are celebrating at 229 on Great Portland Street on the 29th April! Hope to see you there!
x
Currently listening:
Hypnotize
By System of a Down
Release date: 2005-11-21
Friday, March 27, 2009 
For anyone that wonders what on happens inside our minds you can now find out! You can read a lovely interview with us here. It contains secret a coded message about the release date of Play Dead on itunes!

http://blog.catonthewall.net/2009/03/interview-with-woe-betides.html
big thanks to Cat on the Wall!

x
Currently reading:
Bad Science
By Ben Goldacre
Tuesday, March 17, 2009 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Music
Having just watched Yogi's First Xmas on Youtube, we were feeling inspired so we have uploaded the ENTIRE EP on Myspace and Last fm, thus removing any mystery that we might hitherto have managed to create!

But if mystery is your thing how about this: we are planning on releasing the EP in a download format sometime toward the end of April! Suffice to say it will be a Monday of that month and suffice to say there will be a London based gig to support it!

But which Monday...? And which venue?

Just so you know when we say the "whole EP", this in reality means the addition of Your Fists, Your Love to what was already up. Room 13 described the vocals on this track as "arrogant" and caused an internal debate at camp Woebie about whether arrogance can be good.. Please enjoy and we will return soon with more news!

x
Currently listening:
Fantasies
By Metric
Release date: 2009-04-27
Friday, March 06, 2009 

Current mood:  adored

You saw me.

So we reached the end of the tour promoting Play Dead. We travelled the country, met some bloody lovely people and made rock occur all over England (almost in Wales too but it was not to be). And we finished the way we hope we would - surrounded by creepy old puppets.

Our final date was at the nigh-on-legendary Puppet Theatre in Norwich, a venue tailor-made for a band like The Woe Betides: dark, spooky, imposing, and full of the joys of life. They even have their own ghost to make the tea (this is true, it got as far as boiling the kettle before I politely declined).

The gig was awesome; big thumbs up to all the bands who played the mini-festival, we felt we had a hell of a lot to live up to by the time we were due onstage. Big kisses and playful pats on the rump to the Milkbar boys, we'll see you again soon.

Evidently someone thought the gig rocked, and the glazing on the cherry on the icing on the cake was a glowing review by the NME:



The review was sandwiched inbetween Metronomy, Sunn O))) and Tricky, no less. Now that's a party I'd like to crash.

But party's not quite over yet. Play Dead is going to be released on iTunes sometime next month so we'll be confirming a date or two to celebrate soon. Watch this space.

We left a little bit of our hearts in Norwich. We'll pick it up next time we're passing through (seal it in an airtight container, store in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight, thanks).

xxx
The Woebies



Currently listening:
Meat Puppets II
By Meat Puppets
Release date: 1999-03-15