When the walls are closing in on me

And I’ve nothing left to say

When my heart has had a vacancy

And my world has turned to gray

 

When I can’t explain the pain inside

Or my worries and my fears

And the emptiness just won’t subside

I will let it out in tears

 

I will speak to you with tears

 

When I’m sitting at the crossroads

And the music fades away

When my thoughts are ‘bout to implode

And my meaning starts to stray

 

When I feel like I don’t have the words

And my voice just disappears

When I know life can still get worse

I will let it out in tears

 

Ill just speak to you with tears

 

Numb the pain,
Drink it down,
Another night lived upside down

Black and white,
Emotionless,
Racing pulse,
For short time bliss

Him or her,
Can’t decide,
Walls built up,
There’s no lost pride

Broken clock
Upward hill
Take me down
Like a jagged pill

What you see
Not what you get
No love lost
There’s no regret

Living life
Dead alive
Always a bridesmaid
Never a bride

Confusion
Torn inside
Wanna smile
Wanna bleed the sky

I feel dead inside
And I cut myself
So I can feel alive.
As the blood runs dry
Water fills my eyes.
Wanna crush the sky.
Have to stop this lie.
All alone I feel.
These scars need to heal.
This just cant be real.
Its so hard to deal.
Smiles Ill try to steal.
Frowns I must conceal.
No more pain today.
Gone away today.
Hope it stays this way.
Don't want this dismay.

Smells and colors ever changing
Can you ever really live in the moment
Invisible forces moving to and fro
Can we ever really own it

It seems like the struggle is just to struggle
Cause nothing we attain will ever suffice
Goals, dreams, and wants are never ending
Satisfaction postponed untill the end of our life

The only success is to pick yourself up
Because guarenteed you'll fall down again
The only tool we have is to love
Its the only way well ever transcend

People who try are the miracles of the world
Because its so easy not to
We dont have to live, care, eat, or love
But to try is forever, to try is true

The effort of a person dictates class
There are no victories in life except to keep living
The worlds plan does not correlate with yours
Just running the race is truly winning.

Here my words ring out
This is not the life I want
And I know without a doubt
I will start another jaunt

A new year with new tears
That I hope will never come
Cause this life I want to lose
So I can start a new one

Changes need to be made
Not to make the same mistakes
This cyclone is over
I want no more pains and aches

A new year with no fears
And the past forgiven
Better focus on the road
More strength more driven

Memories must be forgotten
Time to move up and move on
A fresh clean sheet of paper
For my life to write upon

Here my words ring out
This is not the life I want
And I know without a doubt
I will start a new jaunt

On cold nights
Under moonlight
Memories of summer fun

Well the seasons
They are changing
But I am stuck in only one

Well the colors and the scents
So defined
And the many hours spent
Undenied
I swear
That the conversations had
Changed my mind
And the feelings of regret
This time
Were no more

On dark cold nights
Ill chase the sun
While seasons change
Ill wait for one

Well The summer
Is Finally over
And for once I must move on

For a moment
It was heaven
But that moment now is gone

There was laughing there was pain
All at once
There was nothing said in vain
Just a thought
I swear
There was something in the air
On my mind
There were feelings to declare
Undefined
This time
Is now gone

On dark cold nights
Ill chase the sun
While seasons change
Ill wait for one

If I could just have my summer back
What would it matter
Would it matter
But Its gone

GO READ THIS OR DIE

Espen is having an identity crisis. Check out the latest issue of Bewildering Stories for "Losing Character," in which Jesse Gordon depicts a character lost by its author. Story URL: http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue264/losing_character.
html

So the other day,
I was driving home and something kicked me in the face.
I just realised that Im mediocre at LIFE.
Dictionary.com defines medicore as:
1. of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.
2. rather poor or inferior.
That sucks.
and I thought about it.
Man...
Im a mediocre lover
a mediocre friend
a mediocre artist
a mediocre musician
Im mediocre at my job
Im mediocre looking
I have a mediocre truck
Im mediocre in school
Im mediocre at Life.
So what do I do now?
How do I fix this
How do I change this?
Cause Its taken me 25 years to become mediocre?
Thats alot of time and work to get to "not quite there" status
WHAT?

Where everybody knows your name
Theres not one moment that is lame
The Junior Dippers are the best
And much more cheaper than the rest

The soda flows like running water
The food is good and the price is fair
The service unattainable there
With manners kept, everyone will share

Diane's the best there will ever be
Shes like a mother figure to me
Not just our waitress at the D
But much more like our family

Shell bust her ass to get things right
But give her attitude and she will fight
If she cant help you still she'll try
Dont want to stop and say good bye

Mikey was a good guy too
But he got fired and left the food
And even though that guy was gay
Hes cool in my book anyway

Veronica, she could serve me piss!
Im stuck on stupid with that chick
Her beauty make me feel so sick
She is someone that Ill miss

And all the lesbians at the D
Youve been of great service to me
Youve taken care of us so great
Therell be a tip under my plate


Were gonna miss all of the fun
Talkin with travis, Dianes son
Our corner booth is the only one
Were leaving ass prints when were gone!

Dont fight the way you feel inside
Fight against your hate and pride
You want the things that others want
Dont let TV tell you whats hot
Just make decisions for yourself
Dont try to follow someone else
Stand your ground and make your way
Dont play the game that others play
Wear the things You think are cool
But stay an Individual
Dont do things cause its the norm
If were all the same then why be born
Dont follow trends and all the fads
Just do the things that make you glad
Who care what other people think
Why be concerned with what they speak
Who cares what other people do
Cause only you can affect you!