I don't really know why I'm typing a blog at all.  I don't have any specific reason that I should be typing this at all.

Everyone dated the demise of our neighborhood
from the suicides of the Lisbon girls.
People saw their clairvoyance in the wiped out elms,
and the harsh sunlight.

Some thought the tortures tearing the Lisbon girls
pointed to a simple refusal to accept the world
as it was handed down to them.
So full of flaws.

But the only thing we are certain of
after all these years,
is the insufficiency of explanation.
(Obviously, doctor, you've never been a 13 year old girl.)

The Lisbon girls were
13- Cecilia
14- Lux
15- Bonnie
16- Mary
and 17- Therese.

No one could understand how
Mrs Lisbon and Mr Lisbon,
our math teacher,
had produced such beautiful creatures.

From that time on
The Lisbon house began to change.
Almost everyday
and even when she wasn't keeping an eye on Cecilia,
Lux would suntan on a towel,
wearing a swimsuit that caused the knife sharpener
to give her a 15 minute demonstration for free.

The only reliable boy who got to know Lux
was Trip Fontaine.
Who only 18 months before the suicides,
had emerged from baby fat,
to the delight of girls and mothers alike.

But few anticipated it would be so drastic.
The girls were pulled out of school,
and Mrs Lisbon shut the house in maximum security isolation.

The girls' only contact with the outside world
was through the catalogs they ordered,
that started to fill the Lisbon's mailbox
with pictures of high-end fashions and brochures for exotic vacations.

Unable to go anywhere,
the girls traveled in their imaginations.
To gold tipped Siamese temples, or past an old man with a leaf broom,
tiding a moss-carpeted speck of Japan.

And Cecilia hadn't died.
She was a bride in Calcutta.

Collecting everything we could of theirs,
we couldn't get the Lisbon girls out of our minds.
But they were slipping away.
The colours of their eyes were fading
along with exact locations of moles and dimples.

From 5 they had become 4,
and they were all living in the dead,
Becoming shadows.

We would have lost them completely
if the girls hadn't contacted us.

Lux was the last to go.
Fleeing from the house we had forgot to stop at the garage.

After the suicide free-for-all,
Mr and Mrs. Lisbon gave up any attempt to lead a normal life.
They had Mr Hedly pack up the house,
selling what furniture he could in a garage sale.

Everyone went just to look.
Our parents did not buy used furniture,
and they certainly didn't buy furniture tainted by death.

We of course took the family photos that were put out with the trash.
Mr. Lisbon put the house on the market,
and it was sold to a young couple from Boston.

It didn't matter in the end how old they had been.
Or that they were girls.
But only that we had loved them.
And they hadn't heard us calling..still do not hear us,
calling them out of those rooms.
Where they went to be alone for all time.

Alone in suicide.
Which is deeper then death.
And where we will never find the pieces,
to put them back together.



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ask me for the song.  tis slow, and has a deep voice.

GOLD:
 Sem 1
1 Hnr. Govt & AP Macro Econ  (Tomashiro)
3 Chem (Bridgnell)
5 Pre-Calc (Smith)
7 PD3 (Peterson, Annie)

Sem 2
PD3 becomes IS.  nothing new.

BLUE:
Sem 1&2
 
CAL (Programming and Networking)

There was a CanSecWest conference this year, and one team successfully hacked into MacBooks.  The were able to control the browser, and gain user controls.  They attempted this on a 15" MacBook Pro because it didn't require them to have root access like the 17" did.

At least one of these two exploits remains unpatched, so you may still need to look out.  ;)
Interview with Charlie Miller.
Interview with Dino Dai Zovi.

Number. New. 503-869-1188 Text me.

I’m sitting here enjoying a cup of Stumptown Coffee and thinking about the current state of my life. I’d say it generally is a pretty good life right now. Like anyone else, I find it hard to really appreciate what I have and just be happy with it, but lately I’ve been doing more of that. I enjoy my mental state as of right now as well. In contrast to the stormy mind I’ve had for the past few years, I’m starting to brighten my views. Not just brighten, but broaden as well. I find new reasons for living everyday, and it’s like a breath of fresh air for me.

There have been few things that I’ve been in need of these past few. I do enjoy the friendships I’ve constructed. I do think that some have been built up a little too high, but that’s okay. Decay will slowly bring them down to the right levels. Others, I’d like to take a bit farther. See what happens, but I don’t know if anything will just yet. Time will tell.

Benjamin Georgioff was over at my house last night. We had an enjoyable time. Video games were probably the biggest thing we did. We were lazy, but it was good. This upcoming 6 week grading period is going to be one that is very hard. I already have a lot of work to do before going back to school on Monday, but hopefully I’ll get that done no problem.

New face everyday pop up on Twitter and I like that. It makes social networking so much better. I like that most of the people I meet on there are Macintosh computer users. I love windows, don’t get me wrong. For personal computer use though... I prefer the good ol’ OSX (or Mint Linux).

This blog really had no point. I will be posting it in 3 places.
-Myspace
-Blogger ( www.jameslouiemal.blogspot.com )
-Facebook

The default setting of life are truly horrible. Nothing works, and you just leave things as they are. Think about this for a second. What happens if you leave things as they are? Things hardly ever workout in the end, if you let them take their course. If you intervene and try to make a difference, or change, then you will see that things turn out to be a lot better than they had.

But what if you fail to change something? Well, at least you tried right? Would you rather you never have tried? You would have never known what the final outcome would have been. You would continue on in your life, wondering.


“What if I had never done that?”

It’s something that we all have to learn. When we don’t succeed at something, at least we tried. It’s not as easy to actually do. But accepting that you can’t accomplish something is a skill everyone needs. Look at it in the “At least I tried” mentality. Or at least that’s how I look at it.

If you don’t agree that’s fine, I understand. It’s not something I’m asking you too take seriously. If you don’t want to be here, then leave. If you don’t want to try, then don’t.

I’m just saying one thing.


I fucking hate the default settings.