Well folks the boys had a great time on the road this month and it was a long road indeed! From Toronto to Vancouver Island and back was no easy task. Lucky for them they had plenty of support from family, friends and some great opening acts.  Cheers to you all! 

The plan now is to take on the east coast and perhaps record a song or two with Gymbo Jak's vocals to keep the coals burning. The band has more gigs coming and they will keep you posted. So when they hit your town come on out and see if you can out drink Mr. Sidney.
It can be done contrary to popular belief.

The Ram

Keith Mauronik's EURO TOUR TAKE HOME MESSAGE
(May, 19, 2007)

1) Have some fuckin' fun, asshole!

2) You learn something everyday.
(If you choose to pay attention.)

3) Don't beat yourself up.
(See Rule 1.)

4) Live for NOW.
(You never know when you will cease to exist.)

5) Is the glass half empty or half full?
(The choice is yours.)

 

The 'rentals were right. Dreams do come true. If a buncha reprobates like us can make it to Europe, you know your dreams are just as attainable. Our 14 year old selves would've never've believed it. We're believers now - even if this isn't exactly what the folks were thinking about. :P

Keith Carman has also written a tour diary (this one's FREE!), although I'm amazed that he was able to keep it under 1000 words.  I'm sure he coulda wrote a novel describing the hijunks.  Check it out here:

http://www.chartattack.com/damn/2007/05/1407.cfm

Thursday, April 26 @ Bitterzoet - Amsterdam, Holland
with The Spades

Friday, April 27 @ Dynamo - Eindhoven, Holland
with The Spades

Saturday, April 28 @ Sparrow - Klazienaveen, Holland
with The Spades

Sunday, April 29 @ Queen's Night Festival - Eindhoven, Holland - with The Spades

Monday, April 30 @ Queensday Festival - Venlo, Holland
with The Spades

Wednesday, May 1 @ Club Mascot - Zurich, Switzerland
with The Spades

Thursday, May 3 @ Rocktogon - Budapest, Hungary
with The Spades

Friday, May 4 @ Wild At Heart - Berlin, Germany
with The Spades

Saturday, May 5 @ Cul De Sac - Tilburg, Holland
with The Spades

Here's a tour preview article by Chartattack as well:

http://www.chartattack.com/damn/2007/03/1910.cfm

 

Spades Tour Oct 13-28, 2006

Beasts In The East

 

October 13

Sneaky Dee's, Toronto

Deportees, …And Hell Followed, Spades, Maximum RNR

What a way to introduce a band from the other side of the world to Canada: five guys freaking out that no-one's gonna show up to our little party. You could feel the tension as The Spades started to wonder if their thousands of dollars in airfare was a fucking waste when London's Deportees kicked off a strong show to a handful of people. However, as the wonderfully late Toronto rock 'n' roll crowd proved, they do end up showing wonderful support. The venue, once cold with anticipation wound up running hot with alcohol-fueled bodies. People were slow to pick up on The Spades' advanced brand of laid-back rock but eventually understood. They got into it. As Keith Maurik noted, this was Maximum RNR's best/strongest Toronto show ever, with people in front of the stage screaming and rockin' away. People were chanting, "Louie, play 'Mother!' 'Keith, play 'Mother,'" but thankfully we weren't so drunk as to know that we probably all forget it. Like an idiot, I got revved up and kicked Childs' cymbal so hard it bent the wrong way around. Somehow, a few of made it back to Maurik's house just short of sobriety to cap the night.

 

October 14

Playhouse, Montreal

How do you spell ominous? Try two eerie bands in a garage rock vein opening for balls-out rock 'n' roll. The turnout was strange because the show was moved from Club Lambi to Playhouse and there were Circle Jerks/Pennywise, Bloodshot Bill and Suicide Girls all going on that night. Still, we had approximately 75 to 100 people out. The club is an old strip joint which was enticing…too bad they pulled the brass pole out from the stage though. The crowd was pretty subdued while we played but still seemed to enjoy it. There's always an atmosphere of people being afraid to fully cut loose when the place is like, almost half-full. Someone might see! Many thanks to Hot Carl and Degeneration Overdrive Magazine though. They busted ass to make a great night out of a lot of hassle and venue changes. It made co-opting his home, getting wasted and eating all of his food so much more fun. Kudos must go to Sydney and Maurik for keeping him up all night drinking to the point where he could barely form a cognitive sentence on the way to CJLO the next day…

 

October 15

Maverick's, Ottawa

…Which was amusing when Maurik realized that CJLO meant performing in his drunken stupor; a document for all of eternity as we were recording a live show. As expected though, once the adrenaline of strapping on his weather-beaten SG kicked in, the fucker was fine. Much better than those of us who actually managed to let head hit pillow it seemed. The Spades recorded four songs and Denvis, The Spades' singer, did an interview which ended with me mooning him through the control window and him describing my asshole over the air. I wound up doing our interview while the guys loaded up…suckers. Maybe interviews aren't so bad after all. We were all tired but drove to Ottawa for the gig and met up with The Spades who had been visiting with Denvis' family. Assholes were all stuffed on a zillion-course meal while we were fighting over table scraps! Naturally, The Spades tore it up and the crowd loved it. We politely decline an encore and were then invited back to the home of our amazing friends Bobby and Kitsch to crash. The neighbours must have loved our impromptu 2am grindcore jam session the basement. Go figure that everyone was loaded once again. Even I'm starting to develop a taste for this lovely brew called "beer." I wound up sleeping in one of the kids' rooms and was about to become a carnivore again as the poor rabbit at the foot of the bed kept trying to gnaw its way out of the cage. I felt for it but man, was that fucker asking for it.

 

October 16

L'Arlequin, Quebec

Rolled out and took Louie's buddy Eric back to Montreal. He had some amusing stories about photos of him being shaved at some fetish night in a photo album which he took to his mother's house to store. Surprise, surprise…she found them.

 

Got to the club and hung out drinking and watching the rock videos while we waited for the whopping half-dozen people to show up. People warned us about Quebec City on a Monday night but it was either that or not play at all. There was debate about not bothering going on but with some people paying to see our sorry asses, we wanted to do it. If no one at all had bothered, we might have blown it out. Good thing we did go on though. Spirits were really low before but once we all started rockin' out, everyone had a blast. We played and The Spades were all up front goading us on. We goofed around and just did it for the reason we're all supposed to do this anyway: to have fuckin' fun. Sometimes you can forget that the people there are more important than the ones that aren't.

 

Besides, The Spades had some bona fide fans there that were eating it up and singing along. That felt great. Sydney was wasted, running back and forth across the dance floor, Louis was break dancing and I wound up having a big wrestling match with Sydney and some dude. Beer was everywhere. We fucked with The Spades while they played too. I wound up pulling Louis' cock out and waving it at them, then Louis took off Frank's (The Spades' bassist) shoe and put it on the cymbals. Putting on our "big boy pants" resulted in a good show.

 

After the show, we were loading up and Sydney was so wasted, he started pissing on the van. Denvis grabbed Sydney's bag and threw it under the stream of piss…Sydney was so drunk, he didn't even notice; just kept pissing all over his own clothes.  We laughed – heartily.

 

October 17, 2006

Day Off, Quebec City

Fuck, I can't sleep much. My brain is on overdrive and…I don't know. I'm kinda getting nuts. Not like Louie nuts though. He goes weird if he doesn't get his sleep and alone time. Denvis woke us up by storming into the room naked and rubbing himself all over us. Lovely. Walked around Quebec City to actually see one of the towns we play other than the block around the venue before scoping out Maurik and Sydney at some dive bar where we all coagulated. How funny that it was like, THE town's gay bar. Still, we took over the joint for four hours talking, yelling and drinking. The Spades taught me how to play Toep, their beloved card game. They get so out of hand with that game, it's nuts. They beat the shit out of each other and yell their heads off.

 

October 18, 2006

Bugaboo Creek, Fredericton

Denvis is right: if the person who invites you to the party leaves without saying anything, don't go to their house. After swearing he was having a party, some clown gives us directions to his place. When the 10 of us show up, he's fast asleep. Being the kind sorts we are, we left.

 

Oh yeah…the show. Ah, it was fun. People like the rock!</SPAN>

 

October 19, 2006

Elwood's, St. John

Denvis stormed into the room again. This time, he tried to get Sydney to go swimming by yelling, "Get in the water, Marine!" After Sydney wouldn't go, he threatened to pour Louie's Szechwan seafood on me. "You need an excuse to swim? You need to be dirty?" Then he picked me up and carried me like a baby across the hotel courtyard. Naturally, at this point, it's such a commotion that every other person in the hotel is standing on their balcony wondering why this massive, tattooed dude is hauling my ass around the place in nothing but Speedos. He did let me get undressed before jumping in though. A hot tub and swimming, then we split for some running around town before St. John. The bar was cool and we found out that Bionic and The Alley Dukes were playing with us. That was a lot of fun.

 

Our set was cut to seven songs 'cause bands went on late but we had a good time. I grabbed Louie around the head with my thighs and he ended up nailing me in the bag. Fuck, I almost puked all over his greasy head. Everyone then stormed some hotel for festivities.

 

October 20, 2006

The Attic, Halifax 

Met up with Iron Giant and Bionic for the show…it was a late one. Alex from Jagermeister wound up getting me right shit-faced before the show. Naturally it had it be a pretty cool turnout and I could barely stand. But I wasn't alone. Frank was blasted and almost got kicked out of the club; he ran up on stage and tackled Louie, taking me out in the process. Some guy from the club ran up to try and stop the "fight" while Louie and Frank were wrestling onstage. Then Frank was standing at the bar getting wrapped up in a Jager banner by two girls who got kicked out. Keith mentioned the visual power of us walking into a clean club to load in and when we came back the next day to load out, the place was trashed. After the show, I went to the van to have something to eat and duly passed out cold. I woke up like, two hours later not knowing where I was or how long I'd been there. Went to the club and no one was there so I stopped in at the hotel where everyone was off the hook. You could hear the din a block away. Roel, The Spades' 21 year old guitarist, was shocked to see "real rock 'n' roll partying" with booze AND drugs in hotel rooms.   Hell, aren't these guys from Holland?!?

 

October 21, 2006

Manhattan, Moncton

Ah, how much fun it is when you get into town just in time to set up and play? It makes for great spirits! Still, we made it. After the show, we went back to PJ's to party. Everyone was up until about 9:30am. We're totally on the rock 'n' roll schedule now: breakfast at 4:30pm…and Jonathan Cummins was STILL asleep!

 

October 22, 2006

Day Off

This was supposed to be our Rivieres du Loup show, but the guy had to cancel with some hokey reason about the bar forgetting they had a private party. He was kind enough to offer up his place to stay but we decided to go see Iron Giant and Bionic in Fredericton instead. That was a lot of fun. PJ and Chris from Iron Giant were having a punching fight while playing. Crashed at the hotel and the next morning Denvis was running around the courtyard naked with a towel as his cape while Peter (The Spades' drummer) filmed it. I imagine the owners of this hotel cursing the architect as I watch Denvis' flaccid penis wave at the other patrons.

 

October 23, 2006

Bar Le Trash St-Hyacinthe

Bar Le Trash rules. The bar and staff are amazing. The place was decorated with coffins, cobwebs, bugs and crazy artwork. The town is beautiful too. Playing, Louie finally got Frank back. During The Spades' first song, he walked up on stage looking like he was gonna say something to Frank, then spit a mouthful of beer on his face. Frank, Childs and I went up after our set to do some Misfits covers after the show which was fun. We massacred "Where Eagles Dare," "Astro Zombies" and "Bullet." Kids were singing along and jumping around just screaming their faces off into the mic…which was all I did too!

 

Afterwards, we decided on another prank: steal Denvis' camera and Frank's bass, take it into the washroom and get Louie to rub it all over his balls and asshole. Then sneak it back into the case. Apparently Denvis loved it. The wonderful Hot Carl put us up again but this time we were all too beat to take over the place.

 

October 24, 2006

Day Off

Was supposed to be a basement show in Fonthill, but the kid called and said his parents don't want a ton of people in their house. We think they all just freaked out. So we're heading back to Toronto to relax. Fine with me, 'cause I'd like a shower, change of clothes and sleep.

 

Not to mention that Keith Maurik probably wants to get his other—I mean, ONLY—pair of shoes! Poor sap went to sleep in the van (note to other bands: we always take the precautionary measure of having one dude sleep in the van with the gear to avoid getting our livelihood ripped off…TAKE THE LESSON) and being he kind soul he is, put his shoes and socks underneath the van.

 

See, his foot odour is the human equivalent of Agent Orange: a fire that doesn't burn. We all have our physiological eccentricities if you will and we'll save you the details but in this case, it's instrumental to the story.

 

Anyway, Maurik puts his shoes and socks under the van to let them air out. Waking up the next morning, he can't find them…someone has ripped 'em off! We're talking Converse hi-tops that probably have more holes than fabric and socks that have seen about three or four nights of hot, sweaty shows. Who the fuck would want 'em? Other than a toxicologist, your guess is as good as ours. However, they're nowhere to be found and it's now a trip to China Town so he can snag a cheap pair of shoes to get back to Toronto. Man, there's nothing as sad and hilarious as seeing that scraggly motherfucker wander the streets of downtown Montreal barefoot in search of a new sole. The homeless would take pity.

 

October 25, 2006

Oshawa, Dungeon

Show? What show? Welcome to the fun nights you never fucking hear about. Bands are always too willing to tell you how "amazing" every show is. Guess what? They're full of shit. EVERY BAND has a bad night. Welcome to the Maximum RNR version:

 

Already pressed for time, we find out that Bionic were supposed to play with us tonight but aren't because they've run into some technical troubles. We head over to where they're staying and convince them to drive the hour to Oshawa anyway. After some jibing, they agree. We arrive and find out that we're two hours late, the first two bands have played and they're shutting down the show…no one has paid to get in. After some persuasive words from The Spades, the soundman agrees to stay, but only for them. So, we hump our gear into the venue, watch The Spades rip out an amazing set (for us and the other bands) and hump our gear back into the van. Great. Maximum RNR: Rock N Roadies. Then the promoter—who incidentally isn't allowed within 50 feet of the club because of a restraining order—goes to pay us but we have to go through this cloak and dagger business of sneaking around buildings and through dark alleyways to get to him. Rock 'n' fuckin' roll!

 

October 26, 2006

Peterborough, Trasheteria

What could potentially be a dangerous night turns out to be quite fun. It would seem as though the promoter has had a bit of a tiff with the venue the previous night which resulted in his bruised ribcage, welts and scratches. They don't get along so well. He confides in us that he's not gonna bother stopping in to see how things go and maybe the show has been cancelled. Undaunted, we trek over and things run perfectly: the venue is gracious and the contingent of Peterborough crusty punks are ravenous to the point where they beat the shit out of each other and eat Denvis' snotty facial tissues – really!

 

October 27, 2006

Hamilton, Underground

I don't remember a fucking thing about this night. I was passed out in the van…again.

 

October 28, 2006

Kitchener, Circus Room

Ah, the eventual final show. After two weeks of battering and bruising the East Coast, everything culminates in this one last bash with buddies The Saigon Hookers. In keeping with tradition, we hatch the devious plot to paste The Spades' touring vehicle in a variety of condiments, courtesy of the lovely Heather Ostrander. While they bash away onstage, Heather, Louie and I douse their car in ketchup and whipped cream, then wait until the perfect moment in their set to deliver a pie to the face of Frank and Peter. They retaliate by jumping us while we wrap up our own chaotic show.

MAXIMUMROCKNROLL - January 2006 - Issue #272

By Bruce Roehrs

  Fuck yes!  The band currently operating under the moniker MAXIMUM RNR has a fucking amazing new CD out for you!  The new thrash masterpiece is entitled Horns Up and every song on this fucker is brilliant tough as nails punk.

  MAXIMUM RNR hails from east Toronto, Ontario, Canada and these motherfuckers come to destroy your world with rock and roll.  The vocals are brute-snarl-right-in-your-face from the first note with the guitars snaking through with enough metal tendencies to keep some old SUICIDAL TENDENCIES fans happy.  Some of the lyrics on the MAXIMUM RNR songs are in French?  The song "Trust Us" leads off the CD with a fifty second blast of punk bile!  Fucking great!!

  The next song is "Say What" and this fucker kicks a lot of ass!  Fans of THE RITES will like MAXIMUM RNR.  Read some of the words to "Say What":  "Jump up / Jump down / Loaded spring / Gonna write my fortune / I need to feed off the ones that'll pat my back / Take a building by force / Any means to secure my piece / Say what gonna find my function / Throw up / Throw down / Make your will the talk of the town / I need to lead a broken ship I cannot steer / Got a plan / Gonna stand / Gonna make a fucking change / Keep trying to convince them / hard hearts won't break the fall / Stationary ball."

  The next tune is "Speaking In Tongues."  And this epic rock and roll tune is a must hear selection!  Two minutes and one second of superbly crafted rock.  MAXIMUM RNR has something to say!  Read "Speaking In Tongues":  Hold your throat / Swallow hard / What great progress so far / Open up wide / Let the demon outside / I know that the path is a lonely road / I never understood you / Take a look in the miorror motherfucker / Man it's not so pretty / I will try / Communicate the know / Untie / Trance mission / Push out / Lure out / Spit out / Fixate generate / Re-arrange the morsels on the plate / This time read me / Like the cover and ther spine / I caught the lion / Locked up the cage / And you try to let it loose / Little finger / Turns to bruise / I said it before / I'll say it again / I'm trying to make amends / But I cannot forget / Speaking in tongues / It's easy friend / Two lips / Two lungs / Let you breath be the vessel of the scum."

  Amazing!  This fucking band can do no wrong!  The fourth song is "Turmoil" and reading the words are important to understand what makes MAXIMUM RNR tick.  Read "Turmoil":  "Frantic / Hectic / Manic / Now tighten the vice / No time for being / No you cannot take a rest / It's going pop pop pop / Hooray / All bend the knees / Feed the circuits please / Don't mind the genrator's cough / It's going pop pop pop / I tell myself it's not for real / Bending down to pull the plug / It's not for real / Able bodies / Little screws / Fine machinery feeds the noose / Pile the ouchies / Suck the thumb / Shit it out and eat it up / Sugar coated much / Don't  mind the limping leg / All cursors point to yes / It's going to leave a mess / The head is feeling numb."

  The last two tunes are a thick blast of hardcore punk that will make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck.  Read "I Turn My Back":  "I turn my back / You sigh / Maybe we weren't meant to be."  And "I Hate the Cold":  Closed door / Set decor / Numb in the comfort that makes you sure everybody says / Come on out / Can't drag the corpses south /  i hate the cold / Stuck inside a hole / Locked in far from sin / Burnin couches for warmth they bring / Everybody says come and play / Can't stand the light of day / What when the heaters fail / That one take to compromise the sail / Freezer burn / No big concern / Correction / It's gonna leave a scar."

  Fucking amazing!  MAXIMUM RNR is one of the most powerful forces playing punk rock right now!  Order your copy of Horns Up from MAXIMUM RNR.

_________________________________

And just to prove it's not all sunshine and rainbows:

MAXIMUMROCKNROLL - March 2006 - Issue #274

By Layla Gibbon

A seven minute blast of an album from Canada. It got the Bruce Roehrs seal of approval, and hell, look at that band name. It's like a less bar rock TIGHT BROS. and to quote an English advert, does what it says on the tin, "Maximum RNR." Not false advertising, but not really my thing.  Song number five is eight seconds long and right up my street, like an '81 basement hardcore band. The rest, however, is a little too rock for me.

And we thought we were fuckin' nuts! Maximum RNR are a bunch of pansies when it comes to partying, as our recent tour with punk mainstays The Dwarves proved. It may only have been four shows, but it's pretty safe to assume that each member of MRNR has pissed away about a decade of life expectancy. A chronological presentation for your amusement follows:

London, ON
Call The Office
June 12, 2003
Whining about having to work all fucking day is cut short when we [MRNR] realize that The Dwarves had to fly red-eye (that's overnight for us non-global backpackers) into Toronto from Los Angeles after working all day and packing their stuff. They've been schlepping around London (oh joy!) since 10 a.m. and haven't slept since Tuesday night. No wonder their set goes off without a hitch: they can't fucking remember it!

Milling about the club post-show, MRNR's Keith Maurik is accosted by Ra McGuire, singer of Trooper (Maurik is a HUGE fan), who proceeds to ape on about how good we were, but also points out our weaker spots. Maurik can do little more than nod, drink and wonder how the fuck he had the singer of Trooper, a cheesy '80s rock band, buy him a beer at a punk show in London, Ontario. Of course, the Dwarves have never heard of the band.

Packing up, our singer Louie Durand is so fucking pissed drunk that he thinks it would be good to air out… on top of Call The Office. As we're loading gear, he climbs onto the roof of the club and pretends he's Lee Majors, jumping onto our beloved van. The scene repeats itself down the highway as he snaps off his seatbelt and climbs out the fucking window and onto the roof, effectively busting off the windshield wipers. Five minutes later, he's drooling on himself and mumbling in the back seat. Ladies man, extraordinaire!

Toronto, ON
Rockit
June 13, 2003
The funniest part of the Toronto show isn't that two girls got into a cat fight while we played and almost beat the shit out of each other. It isn't that the singer of The Dwarves was so covered in spittle that he almost fell off the stage, or that Maurik actually DID fall off the stage. It's not even the drunken dude that asked Maurik to kick him in the face and said he would shit on stage…

…It's that Louie, Mr. Non-Rock-Cliché himself, decides to completely cut loose and party with The Dwarves and The Sinisters all night long tonight. It should be noted he has to be at a wedding in Ottawa tomorrow afternoon and then at our show in Montreal the same night.

It's like one of those I.Q. Test math questions: Louie has been awake since around 11 a.m. after not getting home from London (in his drunken state) until 5 a.m. He's been dawdling all day, plays a drunken show and gets to someone's house for chemical-induced fun around 3 a.m. He's catching a bus at 7 a.m. bound for Ottawa, but doesn't leave the party until 6 a.m… providing he makes the bus, he's on a five-hour trip to someone's wedding where booze is free. He then must take a two-hour bus ride to Montreal, have a beer and perform. Will he make it to the fucking gig? Answer: We're not expecting him.

Montreal, OC
La Sala Rossa
June 14, 2003
Somehow, The Dwarves have managed to make it to Montreal before us. Considering that the last time I left them, they were knee-deep in everything those Public Service Announcements warn you about, I'm surprised. Still, I'm not as awed as The Dwarves were a few hours later… ripping through their half-hour set with reckless abandon, these motherfuckers are showing Montreal what punk rock's all about. And Montreal's just lovin' it… maybe a little too much. Ending the set in typical Dwarves tradition, singer Blag Dahlia dives into the drumkit, taking everything out in the process. The kit is smeared around the stage like butter across a hot biscuit and the crowd goes nuts until the band storms offstage.

Hollering for more, the packed house realizes that The Dwarves don't do encores (how could they? My amp was in four places at once!). The crowd gets mad. Like, French Canadian mad! It's almost a riot as everyone is screaming and stomping and covering the stage with anything that can fly. Bottles, glasses, stage monitors, cans, lighters, smoke packs… they're all little glints of light as they cascade off the stage into a million pieces.

…And then it happens. Someone in the crowd notices that the backstage door is open and promptly hurls his bottle of Bleue (not Blue) straight at 'em! The Dwarves are cowering into a corner of the closet-sized room as they struggle not to be sliced to death.

Later that night, the party rages on at some lady's house as a professional dominatrix/hooker screams for attention from the same Dwarf that is trying to spoon the hostess' dog on the sofa. We'll leave it at that.

Ottawa, ON
Babylon
June 15, 2003
Everyone's just too fucking tired to cause shit. We'd all gone to bed at 9 a.m. and woken up around 11. A leisurely drive to Ottawa is amusing as van fights against van in a race to get to Capital Shitty. We lost, but then again we were carrying all of the gear they didn't have to load or unload nightly, the fucks. We're all drinking our sorrows at parting (last night blues), we're doing the small-talk thing and then the show's over. The "early" show has us driving out of Ottawa at 2 a.m. We have to work Monday morning. That's OK though, The Dwarves have to get to the airport, fly home AND work… suckers.

What's the single most masochistic thing any rocker can do? Some might say sign with a major or maybe actually sit through the opening band. I beg to differ. Try doing a cross-Canada tour with four other smelly jerks. In UNDER two weeks. Zing!

Originally dubbed the Third Time's A Harm Tour, Maximum RNR's latest opus was quickly renamed the Balls Of Ice Tour — partly in honour of our buddies Three Inches Of Blood, but more because it was so friggin' cold out there. Anyway, after seeing more blood than an operating room, we went back to the original name. Lovely.

So, at the risk of offending the weaker of heart and to keep this relatively brief, I present you with the finer moments of Maximum RNR's Harm Tour. Of course, none of the shenanigans have to do with when we were actually playing, 'cause for the first time ever we managed to get through each set in its entirety! Even Winnipeg! Who's a pro now?

Winnipeg:
We could see the headlines: "Dirty Toronto Rock Band Foils Robbery Attempt!" Alas, it wasn't to be. Pulling in to gas up at some station, we quickly realized the kiosk door was locked. Two women inside were allegedly holding up the joint. The clerk was smart enough to lock the doors, but not to close the security glass between the counter and the store, so the assailants jumped her and beat the shit out of her before trying to make a break for the back door. Keith Maurik and I became The Dynamic Duo, catching them, shoving one to the ground, grabbing her legs and throwing her back inside. She kicked and screamed at us as we held the door shut until the cops came. Yeah… the cops who gave a weak "thanks" and promptly made us pay for the gas. Jerks. Footnote: this was the day after a friend of ours got shot outside of some bar. What the hell are you 'Peggers doing to each other?

Of course, we had to be the shit disturbers on the return trip when we were invited to do an interview at the local University radio station. Word to the wise: NEVER interview all five members of MRNR at the same time… especially live! The conversation started somewhere around buggery and wound up with Louis and I telling the tale of getting kicked off our own radio show for defecating into a styrofoam cup on air. Then some dude called in saying he was screwing his girlfriend while talking to us. The station manager was NOT amused. It was, like, Friday morning drive, 10 a.m.

Edmonton:
OK, I love Albertan fans, but you're all fuckin' nuts! For some reason, smashing beer bottles off the stage is the New Thing at MRNR gigs (not at us... just on the edge of the stage) which is funny, but not so cool when your knees are bleeding and you can feel glass hurtling past your face at 100 mph. One dude got so crazy he bashed a microphone stand around, almost knocking my teeth out and battering himself into complete bloodiness. Seriously… the dude looked like something out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only he was beaming from ear to ear. Freaks.

Calgary:
Steve Servos, I'm gonna kill you! How awesome was it to have fellow Chart writer and all-around good guy Steve Servass come barreling into our gig at the last second? It RULED! But then, after Lord knows how many rye-and-colas, the gangly clown informs me that he has to catch a plane at 5 a.m. and I HAVE TO DRIVE HIM! Naturally I hadn't gone to sleep since like, The Esso Job for various reasons of partying stupidity and this guy wants to pull an all-nighter? We wound up sitting in the security parking zone giggling at some… ah hell, I don't even remember the drive back to the hotel.

Vancouver:
Gee, there's nothing like playing at the corner of Main and Hastings to make a bunch of guys with, like, thousands of dollars in musical equipment nervous. From the lovebirds smoking crack off our bumper to some guy trying to sell me the boots he stole from the opening band, we knew it would be fun. But not as much fun as watching the promoter beat the shit out of his best friend through the window of a Chevy Nova! Threatening to take off drunk, Our Fearless Promoter used a little knuckled persuasion to knock his buddy unconscious and take the keys. Then he sidled into the driver's seat and peeled out like Paul Tracy at Molson Indy. I don't know how many beers he had that night...

Saskatoon:
What the hell were we thinking? What started off as an innocent gig turned into getting royally soused up, hijacking some poor girl's station wagon and beating it out to the university to break into the pathology department — the morgue, really. Sneaking through some hospital (narrowly avoiding the infectious diseases ward), we managed to fandangle our way into where they keep the photos of syphilis gone horribly wrong. Let that be a lesson to stay chaste on tour. We never did find the dead guys, though…

Thunder Bay:
War On The Shore, baby! Like, a weekend-long metal festival. Wow. Even we were taken aback by the frenzy. The highlights: smashing the shit out of Keith Maurik's guitar head, the guy that was thrown through a plate glass window and subsequently rushed to hospital and the guy that puked all over the pit and only a few of us noticed while everyone danced away in it. Honourable mention to the dude that was going away to jail the next day who got WASTED, started a brawl and was kicked out.

Naturally there are far more stories, but for the really juicy ones, you'll have to ask in person... price is a couple beers!

—Keith Carman

Mailorder:

Probably the cheapest and fastest option for Canadian residents, worldwide residents without a credit card, those who don't trust online ordering and those who would rather do it the old fashioned way. 

Drop us an e-mail  at maximumrnr@hotmail.com for availabilities, sizes, time of transport etc. 

All prices are postpaid. (Canadian dollars for Canadian residents.  US dollars for the rest of the world.)

CD and T-Shirt: $20

The Maximum Package!  Includes a complimentary button.

T-Shirt:  $15 each

E-mail us for sizes and designs.

CDs:  $10 each

MRNR005 - "Horns Up" (2005)

MRNR004 - "Maximum RNR" (2004)

7" Vinyl Records: $5 each

RSS058 - "Maximum RNR take on The Spades" (2006) - on clear blue vinyl by Relapse Records:  www.relapse.com

MRNR002 - "Lucky Charm b/w DFF" (2003) - limited edition 500 copies.

Patches: $2 each

Silkscreened black on white 5" x 5" cloth patch with "Guitar Smash" logo that appears on our website:  www.maximumrnr.com

Buttons:  $1 each or set of 7 buttons for $5

E-mail us for designs.

Mailing Address:

Well concealed cash is preferred.  However, if you'd rather send a cheque or money order, please e-mail us first.

Maximum RNR

21 - 260 Adelaide St. East

Toronto, Canada

M5A 1N1

 

Online ordering:

For online ordering of our CDs and 7"s go to Interpunk:

Click here for Interpunk secure online ordering

Another online ordering option for our CDs is CD Baby:

Click here for CD Baby secure online ordering

 

Record Stores:

Our two CDs and second 7" (Lucky Charm b/w DFF") are distributed in Canada by F>A>B Distribution.  If your favourite local indie store, HMV, Future Shop, Best Buy, CD Plus, Music World, A&B Sound, Sunrise, Archambeault etc. doesn't stock them, just tell the store to order them from F>A>B.

Still no US or worldwide distribution except mailorder and online. Interested distributors of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities drop a note here.