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Dear Cassandra;
It's late, I just watched your plane take off in the rain, Hope it lands ok, damnit, I gotta get change.
'Cause the coke machine's broke and my mouths hella dry, You looked HOT when you said you were nervous to fly.
Something else you said earlier's making me think, We were waking up - cool, I got a Coke, lemme drink.
Dude, i know this shit's rotting my molars away., Wait where was I, oh yah, what you asked me today.
You said something like, "Why do you think like you do? What's inside you that makes you do the things you do?"
And at first I just laughed cuz I thought it was lame, "Shit, Cassey, you know NOTHING influenced my brain."
For the last couple hours it's been eating at me, Cuz I think there IS something that makes me... well... me.
Just to start its a half cup of Ny-quil and milk, It's those janky ass ramps for our bikes that we built,
And we made Robbie test 'em to see if they'd hold. I feel BAD now cuz Robbie was retarded and old.
It's the ice cream man, thinly sliced ham, and salami, It's Room, its miss Nancy saying she saw me.
It's New Miami and it's girls with two names, like Tiffany-Amber and her whorish ways.
It's Skippy from Family Ties in Trick or Treat, It's all my friends making fun of my feet.
And my skin, call me "lighthouse" again and I'll snap. It was kid songs, then D.R.I, then gangsta rap.
Its that letter you wrote me on menopause paper, It's watching Mike Tyson's wife swear that he raped her.
It's pissing in cups for my own mom. She was cranked out, it's Blade Runner, Southpark, and TRON.
It's because my dad wanted to write but he didn't, It's the future, It's me trying to publish shit that he's written.
It;s The Stuff, yah remember that evil yogurt? Wait your probably too re-FUCK MY TOE HURTS!
Some fucking fat dude just ran over my foot with a chair, It's my PATIENCE Care Bears, and cutting your hair.
It's the stairs in my old house, Mr. Lakes looking down my blouse. My Coke's gone, my mouth's still dry, think i need certs now.
It's Hank, he's a jerk now, fuck, maybe he's dead, What would happen if I didn't get this shit out of my head?
It's my restless leg syndrome when I'm in my bed, It's jabbing pencils inside my arm, breaking off lead.
It's the seizure I always had just for attention, It's "Bucket Brigade!" a poor excure for detention.
It's being scared shitless for no fucking reason And trying to hide my tears so nobody see's 'em.
It's breathing hard feeling my stomache clench up, It's being told I'ma failure if i don't catch up.
I missed too much school, spent most of the time with a pen, Trying to draw, most of all, I just pretend.
It's cable TV as a great baby sitter, It's when Mom first called to say that he hit her.
It's always getting in trouble over nothing by the police, It's my hatred for musicals, "fuck you, fuck GREASE."
It's the hospital right after i got my Super Nintendo, It's watching fire works alone from the in-patient window.
It's eating lunch all alone for a year and a half My only friends were my head phones, my ears and the grass.
Well, lately, its BRIGHTEYES, Top Ramen, and Nas, But back then it was Ice cube and the sound track to JAWS.
It's Galactus, it's Pig Boy, it's Shannon, it's Amberly, Stammering in when she got drunk with her family.
The Mongoose my dad bought me from some guy at Al's Donuts, It's me saying i wanna be Barbie when i grow up.
It's M-80's inside apples, watch them blow up. It's ME, my weird phobias, I'm scared to throw up.
It's empathy, sympathy, hash browns at Tiffany's, I back down from anything but blood tests, keep on sticking me.
Fuck, it's the first time I saw you that day, It's a year later when i spit Sprite in your face.
It's SOMETHING VAGUE on repeat on the way to your house, It's all those Richard Gere rumors that he filled his ass with a mouse.
It's watching my dad beat the original Pitfall, It's nine years going to the same piece of shit mall.
It's bunnies with no arms, miscarried kitties, It;s mummified llamas, it's butt-hole mouth, shitty.
It's 3rd street, the Ghost Yard, it's Thundercock, Hellhole. It's Gillman, the Jackoff wall, converse, and shell-toes.
It's funny how British people call us blokes, It;s GRIME"S books, YOUR letters, your hugs and your jokes.
"Don't you know them?" I live by them. "love them?" I need them, but according to Mr. Monts, I'm just a heathen.
It's sex with you at exactly nine, I think it's cute you've seen "Brazil" a mere 30 times.
It's Geof Darrow, bone marrow, Ralph Steadman's Gonzo, It's splatter films, indie flicks, hammer and mondo.
It's Chevy's vacation, too MUCH masterbation. It's artery fat burgers from Nation's.
It's being hesitant in showing you my creations, It's cuza my inability to keep a relation.
They all cheat or leave when they're bored, plus im poor, But what I lack in cash I make up for in storeis and lore.
And compassion, Cassey, I hope it's different with you. It's how you told me you liked me before..... wish i knew.
It's the Raft in both Contra Loma AND Creepshow 2, But BEFORE that, no son, it's the Creepshow too.
Its Joe Briggs intorducing it on Saturday Night, It's Tangina screaming, "Carol Anne, go into the light!"
Its my dreams about demons, its your screams about semen, Last time you went away for a DAY I was fiendin.
It's Swimfan, it's Aria, and the department of Vin. Where there's hundreds of Vin diesel's mad evil twins.
It;s that time, you remember me starting that fire? I made that stupid Dancing James Brown imitate Richard Pryor.
It's pizza night instead of my mom's ok cooking, It's lip synching Nelly when nobodies looking.
It's holding your hand on the streets of insanity, Fuck, it's The Last Dragon, Sho'Nuff and Vanity.
Plus it;s the night we stayed up telling stories, Remember? We both were pretending to be Maury.
It's my face scabbing up, it's Sutterm it's Kane, Just to spite those rejection letters that i'll never change.
It's "his-n-hers" corndogs, it's cum like hornchata, Wanna name my kid "biyotch"... well, I mean IF it's a daughter,
It's the japanease web site, I laughed til I cried. It's na-HOLY SHIT! The dude from The Clash, he just died?!
Now who's gonna rock the fucking cashba, oh well, It's the crippled kids caroling, singing NOEL.
It's buying fish hooks, It's April with her man with no thumbs, They called him pencildick, fuck, I'm still sick of coughing up lungs.
It's the dogs stuck in boxes, choking to death. It's "Hella duuude", "No con", it's "Sike" it's "That FRESH."
It's the MAXX, the conventions, Sam Keith saying hi, It's us stuck in my car it's too hard saying bye.
It's that Lucky Charms box that was made for me, It's my steak virginity that you PAID for me.
What do you mean you don't like The Two Towers, are you CRAZY?! Well, you might be since you stole that book of birth defect babies.
It's because of her nephew that Spongebob's inside me. It's YOU sneezing, "Bless you", it's cuz of your writing.
It's melodramatics, "BITCH, HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!" It's all those times i said i wish I was Wayshak.
It's Rob, shit I wish I could help him some more, It's me going out late, sneaking in the front door.
It's those gay poses everyone does in their portraits. You're mad cause I'm winning at RISK? Fuck it, I'll forfeit.
It's how I say some thing is "soooooo fucking YOU". That's a good thing, Cassey, I swear, honest, I do.
It's trumpet when I'm 14, shit, Ivo, was "Porn King", It's cool you stopped reading by now, this shit's boring.
I understand, just like you understand ME, Well unless you count that time i talked in 3-D.
It's the Contra code, up up down fuck what's the rest? It's me getting more hair on my back than my chest.
It's the Visible Man, it's Tell Tale Heart, It's the dark, its the park, it;s the mimes it's the sharks.
It's those things I was scared of when I was a kid. It's the stench of that lice-remove shit called RID.
It's Slow Jams, that dude waited years for his girl, Just to find out she fucked him like the rest of the world.
It's my heart splashing out through the tip of my pencil. It's kissing the love of my life in a rental.
It's what I said to you once, i knew i shouldn't have said it, It's my answer to your bacon question, i still regret it.
It's SPAZZ and it's RU36, "Pump that shit!" It;s two girlfreinds in a row turning gay, FUCK THAT SHIT!!
It's my ego, it's crushed, its your cheeks when they blush, It's you trying to be sly, c'mon i heard you flush.
It's the day Guitar Hero 2 came out, It's my lungs giving up ANY day now.
It's the heart burn I constantly get from the shit, That i eat, but I'm too weak to climb out of this pit.
It's the fact that I'm stronger when you're close to me, Shit, together we'll conquer the world, hopefully.
It;s the smell of your dryer sheets that comforts my nerves, It's Ed Norton when he slammed that dude's mouth on the curb.
When we saw Bubba Hotep, I wanted so badly, To grab on to you and fall in love with you madly.
Instead it.s anxiety mixed with sobriety, Insecure that you'll leave with out saying good bye to me.
Insecure thoughts that I'll wake up alone... Insecure thoughts you won;t answer the phone.
It's dumb bitches stalking me, my dreams that keep mocking me. If I fail, it's the weight of the world that's on top of me.
FUCK! Some lady just asked me if I was OK. Must be talking out loud again, what did I say?
Matter fact, what's the date today? NO FUCKING WAY?! I've been sitting here writing for 12 fucking days?
Damn, I've been in this airport 2 weeks with no sleep, Take my headphones off, turn down the volume to "Creep."
Check the schedule, cool, your flight lands in an hour, I'll wait for you and front like I went home and showered.
I love you Cassey and goddamnit I missed you, I hope this answers your question.......
I can't wait to kiss you.
Sincerely,
The exciting MiracleBloodAxe.
Get yours today.
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