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RiffTrax



Last Updated: 7/30/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 28
Sign: Aries

Country: US
Signup Date: 10/9/2007

Blog Archive
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July 31, 2009 - Friday 
Have you ever worried that your favorite super hero might be nothing more than a passing fad?  Well, Joel Schumacher is here to put your mind at ease with a film that he based on a slogan he once heard some kids shout after leaving Tim Burton's Batman film: Batman Forever*. A movie so terrible that we still don't understand why people were surprised at how bad Batman & Robin was.
Val Kilmer, fresh from his declining career, dons the pointy-eared rubber man suit. He's aided by Chris O'Donnell, fresh from his separate, but equally declining career, as Robin, the "not quite a boy, not quite a man" wonder. Nicole Kidman surprises everyone by proving she doesn't need Tom Cruise to make bad career choices and somehow actually having a career after this film. Tommy Lee Jones follows up his Oscar winning performance from The Fugitive as the scenery-chewing Two-Face, playing him as though he were a Dick Tracy villain. And finally, Jim Carrey appears as crossword puzzle writer Will Shortz, affectionately known around the office as "the Riddler".
RiffTrax Presents is proud to bring you this riff by the team from THATGUYWITHTHEGLASSES.com. The GUY himself: Doug Walker, his brother Rob and perpetual hanger-on: Brian Heinz. Join them as they prove that Batman Forever isn't just a bad idea, it's also a bad movie.
*Batman Forever does not, in fact, last forever. Effects typically last anywhere from one and a half to two hours; if effects last longer, please consult a physician. Batman Forever has not been approved by the FDA, and should be used only as directed.

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax-presents/batman-forever
3:56 PM 
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July 29, 2009 - Wednesday 
When we think back on the list of the great entertainers of the past century, a few names universally come to mind:  Sinatra.  Carson.  Lohan.  And Jimmy.  No, not Jimmy Walker.  And not Jimmy Stewart, (Really?  You guessed Jimmy Walker before Jimmy Stewart?)  We're of course talking about Jimmy the Raven, sparkplug of the glorious ensemble cast of Wing, Claw and Fang.
Yes, despite sounding like a sleazy Nevada law firm, or perhaps items from a LARPer's daily checklist, Wing, Claw and Fang is actually a cavalcade of Hollywood's animal stars.  Jimmy leads the way, with his hilarious signature bit of stealing freshly laid eggs and devouring them in front of the distraught hens.  But there's also a heapin' helpin' of tricks form Pete the Penguin, who wows as he "Goes Down the Stairs" and Jesse the Lion, who "Appears to Maul his Trainer Quite Severely."  Yes, Wing, Claw and Fang proves once again that there's no better way to entertain humans than humiliating animals for our amusement. 
Mike, Kevin and Bill gave up on stealing their eggs straight from the hen house after Farmer Dan installed a particularly effective scarecrow.

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/wing-claw-and-fang
4:03 PM 
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July 24, 2009 - Friday 
Don't forget to stop by the RiffTrax booth (Booth #3251--right across from the Captain Kirk cologne shop) and say hi!

Mike, Kevin and Bill will be signing autographs in the Sails Pavilion during 2 days of the Con: Friday, 3-5pm, and Saturday, 12-2pm.

Also be sure to attend our Friday night Panel! From 7:15-8:15 in Ballroom 6D/E, Mike, Kevin and Bill will be performing a live riff of an as-yet-untitled short. The panel will be moderated by TekZilla and Qore (on PSN) host and geek icon Veronica Belmont.
5:58 PM 
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July 22, 2009 - Wednesday 
It seems that forty years ago, one out of every three instructional films was about The Bill of Rights (the rest were about either syphilis and/or Mr. Bungle.) So it was only natural that we'd finally get around to riffing a short focused on the Bill of Rights, and we had just the one in mind! Unfortunately, that episode of Schoolhouse Rock where the bill becomes a law proved far too expensive to acquire, and we had to go with Plan B.

Plan B turned out to be The Bill of Rights in Action. It proved far more exciting than The Bill of Rights Takes it Easy and is a veritable thrill ride compared to The Bill of Rights is Feeling Kind of Hungover, So Could You Put On the 'Saved By The Bell' Marathon and Pick Him Up a Gatorade and a Breakfast Burrito. And even though we wish it would focus more on our favorite amendment (#9, Protection of rights not specifically enumerated in the Bill of Rights, booyah), it makes the admittedly more populist choice and focuses on the granddaddy of all rights, Freedom of Speech. It's a delightful romp where a pale Nazi goon rants outside of a synagogue and gets his ass handed to him by an enraged mob. So all things considered, it is far less creepy and disturbing than the episode of Schoolhouse Rock would have been.

Mike, Kevin and Bill exercised their freedom of speech by getting tattoos of the "Conjunction Junction" conductor. They're not telling where.

http://www.rifftrax.com/sh..orts/bill-rights-action
4:24 PM 
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July 17, 2009 - Friday 

08/20/2009


Join the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the comedy event of the year!

Fathom Events presents RiffTrax LIVE: Plan 9 from Outer Space, an evening of LIVE riffing on the Worst Movie Ever Made beaming into movie theaters nationwide on Thursday, August 20th at 8PM ET/ 7PM CT/ 6PM MT/ Tape Delayed at 8PM PT.

Join Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot), now of RiffTrax.com, as they are reunited in HD for the first time ever on the big screen! This event will feature the world premiere of a brand new, never-before-seen short and non-stop hilarious riffing on a COLOR version of “Plan 9 from Outer Space”- a 1959 science fiction/horror film written, produced and directed by Edward D. Wood Jr. 

This event will be hosted by Veronica Belmont, the Host of Tekzilla on Revision3 and Qore on the PlayStation Network, with Musical Guest Jonathan Coulton and a special segment by Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka of Something Awful. 

Everyone Loves Free Stuff…
All event attendees will receive FREE exclusive digital goodies including a never before seen downloadable short, an autographed digital photo of the guys and a song by the RiffTones! A URL and code will be revealed on-screen at the end of the event.
 
This one night event will be broadcast LIVE out of the Belcourt Theater in Nashville, TN into your local movie theater. Don’t miss an exciting evening of LIVE riffing, zombies, aliens, cheesy performances, wisecracks, laughable special effects and more!
10:54 PM 
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July 17, 2009 - Friday 
Sometime between the invention of pyromania and the discovery of Beatlemania, the country suffered a frightening outbreak of Highway Mania. Accounts of the disorder are sketchy, but if the film Highway Mania is to be believed, it involved shaving your head, scarring your face with a good, strong liter or two of muriatic acid, and then climbing in your car and driving like Lizzy Grubman while—and this is very important, critical, even— cackling like a community theater actress in a bad production of Hansel and Gretel. While you did this a team of three different narrators described in purple prose the horrors you were visiting upon the land. You, however, remain singularly focused on your cackling. (Don't be too hard on yourself; highway mania is a disease, just like alcoholism or embezzling.) Somehow hurricanes and cruise ship sinkings are also involved and probably your fault.

Join Mike, Bill and Kevin as the catch the fever that is Highway Mania.

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/highway-mania
10:53 PM 
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July 17, 2009 - Friday 
Yes, it's that's time again—time to go back to school. And when it's time to choose with whom you'd like to go, the options are nearly limitless: your uncle Barney, Richard Simmons, that guy who sits in front of you at church and occasionally cleans his ears with his keys, Pruane2, Jewel, or possibly one of the Baldwins. Well, the idea that you should return to school accompanied by Joan Miller is given a fair and compelling hearing in the colorful short Back to School with Joan Miller. Yes, Joan Miller, designer extraordinaire, creator of dresses and suits that span an extraordinary range from conservative, plaid two-piece suits, to conservative plaid two-piece suits complemented by a hat. And BtSwJM offers not just two or three examples of her work, but rather a seemingly endless march of them, by the hundreds they come, one after another, modeled by strange-eyed shapeless women, driven relentlessly on by the sting of Joan Miller's whip.
Take notes, because there will be a test as Mike, Kevin and Bill go Back to School with Joan Miller.

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/back-school-joan-miller
10:52 PM 
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July 9, 2009 - Thursday 
Are you ready for running? LOTS of running?  Running done by…a man? Then you’re ready for The Running Man, the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle, a movie so powerful that it launched the political careers of two of its stars! Yes, I’m talking about Yaphet Kotto and Professor Toru Tanaka. Didn’t know they were governors, did you? Welcome to the many surprises that The Running Man has in store for you.
It’s 2018 and helicopter pilot and ESL language coach Ben Richards has just been framed for a crime he refused to commit. He escapes from prison, gets captured again and is forced to participate in a sadistic game show where he must fight for his very life! It’s pretty dystopian.
Thrill! – as Arnold outwits and overpowers various cartoon-like stalkers with names like “Dynamo” and “Buzzsaw”. Squint! – as you try to understand the barely-comprehensible gibberish that spews out of Maria Conchita Alonzo’s mouth. Laugh! – as Jesse Ventura minces around in what is surely the gayest role of his career. The Running Man has something for everyone. Plus it has Richard Dawson playing the villain, a performance that can only be described as “Regis-esque”.
Come join us as Matt, Aaron and special guest Chad Vader riff on this 80s sci-fi classic. Why is Chad Vader riffing a non-star-wars movie, you ask? Well, he’s got a lot of free time.

https://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax-presents/running-man
8:04 PM 
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July 2, 2009 - Thursday 
The year was 1984. While the fascistic regime foretold by Orwell had not yet come to power the nation had been brought to its knees, the victim of repeated playings of Karma Chameleon and Sister Christian. The country needed something to believe in, something besides aerobics or Emmanuel Lewis' winning the People's Choice Award. And so they came, a ragtag group of heroes in a beat-up pickup, complete with a beat-up gun rack: Jed, Aardvark, Daryl, Arturo and their brave, though prone-to-sniveling compatriot Robert (played by the prone-to-sniveling C. Thomas Howell.) The dawn may have been a red one, but they would make sure that when the sun set, it would be red... white and blue!
Joining Mike for this very special RiffTrax is Joel McHale, the Daryl to Mike's Arturo, or perhaps the Jed to his Aardvark, or maybe the Aardvark to his Daryl. The point is, it is the perfect partnership with which to assail the enemies of freedom, i.e., the makers of Red Dawn!

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/red-dawn
7:57 PM 
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June 25, 2009 - Thursday 
If messy wet clay and the brothers Everly are your idea of foreplay, look no further than this Jerry Zucker-directed (yes, THAT Jerry Zucker) surprise smash hit of 1990.
Test your credulity as our beloved Patrick Swayze trades in his dirty dancin' shoes and his blue collar bartending meat hooks to give a turn in the role he was destined to play: an intelligent, educated, high-powered account executive.
Feel his pain when he is prematurely ripped away from Demi Moore while she is upstaged by her own Hobbit haircut. 
Drown in misery as you discover that the only way he can communicate with her is through a scenery-gnawing con woman. 
But cheer up! You also get to feast your eyes on some of cinema's worst special effects in the form of crudely animated shadow demons.*
Cole Stratton and Janet Varney return for another Swayze classic with Ghost, a movie cloaked in profound questions about the existence of an afterlife, whether the living can communicate with the dead, and how in the world Whoopi Goldberg ended up with an Oscar.
*We are not referring to Tony Goldwyn.

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax-presents/ghost
9:29 PM 
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