So this is what this thing is right, going through the grind. Being a good dad and husband. Working your ass off and going in circles, spinning your wheels in the mud and not having a tow hitch.

So much is up in the air, so many unknowns even though I know myself now. I love my dog and my kid and miss the one I haven't seen in a very long time. I want my home back and life to get back to zero again. To find that balance in zen. I would love my wife more but that's another story. Kind of been trying to raise an adult child for a while and though I have hopes I don't know if things are going to go fast enough anymore.

I've spent 3 years as a hermit basically, avoiding the world at all cost possible to protect the things important in my life and that was intruded upon in a very big way and it's not had the best of consequences. The haunts from over tens years ago have found their way out of the closet. A life time buried and dealt with with a brutal vengeance and the possibility of dire consequences.

I don't know how this is all going to turn out though one thing is definite, there will be some big changes and they will come soon, fast and hard.

Sometimes real life can bring you better things than even fiction can and these pics of some rare plants are some prime examples of this happening. Don't ask me what the hell they are I didn't take the time to note them I just thought they were pretty wicked. The only one that I vaguely remember is the last one is supposed to be a type of orchid that smells like raw meat and is pollinated by hornets. Good stuff.