The following is a true story. The names have not been changed and no
artistical embellishments to the story have been made. Please be warned
that the following tale may contain some disturbing visuals and/or
situations.
The day began just like any other studio trip that
Roses UnRead had made in the past few days: with Allison, Crickle, and
Justin setting up and making arrangements for a full day of recording
before returning safely back to their homes... or would they...
Crickle
was to begin the day, recording the dirty (distorted) guitar tones for
all or most of the songs. He quickly got to work, and after a few short
takes, knocked out "Have You Heard". As none of Roses UnRead had eaten
prior to arriving, the group decided to take an early lunch break and
with that they were off to the KFC/Taco Bell (the band has been
supporting this establishment quite a bit in the past weeks... maybe
some sort of endorsement is in order...). Both Crickle and Justin would
partake of the new grilled chicken, and Allison went for tacos.
...Later at the Studio and after Lunch
Crickle
got back into groove quickly after lunch and began working on "False
Alarm". Everything was going quite well with Justin and Allison making
suggestions to any parts with errors... UNTIL... Justin felt the
slightest of rumblings in his tummy, but quickly dismissed it as the
digestion of his scrumptious chicken meal (or gas) and got back to the
task at hand. Then suddenly a much MUCH stronger rumbling and Justin
knew that trouble was brewing that would not be so easily avoided in
the studio. He quickly dismissed himself to the bathroom to "clear
himself" of this rumbling.
Upon the completion of his task he made a most terrifying discovery...
>
NO TOILET PAPER!!!
Its okay he told himself...
>Someone will need to use the restroom soon. But no one did...
>There must be some toilet paper nearby. But there was not...
...MINUTES PASS...
>He could call Allison and tell her to find toilet paper. But she did not answer...
>Maybe run around the house and try to find some TP. Half-naked? What if someone where to come home...
...MORE MINUTES PASS...OR WAS IT DAYS...
>Call Allison again (x7). Still no answer...
>Try Crickle. Phone OFF...
...LEGS ASLEEP, FATIGUE SETS IN...
>Finally
Justin accepts his fate and begins walking towards the light at the end
of the tunnel breathing out his last breaths...
THEN SUDDENTLY "Are you alright in there" Allison asks in a joking manner.
"NO NO NO! 911! Mayday, Mayday! SEEK TOILET PAPER!"
>>>Thus began a small flurry of panic throughout the Studio/home as all search parties began their quest.
>>>Justin
was saved after 35+ minutes (read as 7-12 days) of agonizing torture,
to which he nearly succumbed. He has since made a full recovery (after
about 4 seconds) and is expected to be able to work on and complete the
Roses UnRead record in the coming weeks!