Well, it's five to one on Monday afternoon. It's bleak at best outside and I'm sitting in Poppies Cafe waiting to go back to work. Boo! This past week has been one of the busiest of my life and my body and brain are struggling to accept that I have to go back to selling booze to jakeys.

The weekend kicked off on Thursday night when me, Ben, Gain and Kev met at Broxden Park and Ride in freezing cold. We were heading for the 13th Note and our first ever show as Joey Terrifying. It's been a long time since I was the singer in a band with no acoustic guitar strapped on and even longer since Ben has played a show, other than Jam in the Den, so we were all pretty nervous. We were also pretty damn excited as we've been together for 3 months or so and are desperate for people to wrap their ears around the fruits of our endeavours.

We loaded in and met Michael from The Wrecking Pit and the guys from Fake Problems and All Or Nothing, then headed upstairs for some scran. The look on Gain's face when he realised that his beer and burger was actually vegetarian was priceless. Dave Hughes opened the show with his friend on bodhran and serenaded us with his political folk-punk sweetness. We were up next and ripped into our set. Folk seemed pretty into what we were doing and we fired through our set in just under 25 minutes. I made the mistake of wearing a beanie and we all came off stage sweating our balls off! Thanks to everybody for their kind words after the show, it was a pleasure to play our first show for you folks! All Or Nothing came on next with their saccharine-sweet pop-punk. They were tight but I must confess, not really my cup of tea. Fake Problems were ace, as expected, my only gripe being that they didn't have any small white T-Shirts. I get in trouble for wearing shirts that are too big for me.  

Friday night was Dundee and saw us joining The Living Daylights and The Hijacks on their touring bandwagon. The show was at Club Kage and sorted out by our man Kieran. We quickly made friends with the Daylights and it's always good to catch up with The Hijacks. The show was pretty empty, which was a little disappointing because the bands were ace. It seems as though attendance at Dundee punk shows is the smallest it has ever been at the moment, while the standard of the bands seems to be ever-improving. Everybody seemed to have a good time overall. We didn't hang about for Transmission afterwards, as it was back to Perth for bed in anticipation of the mayhem that was duly set to follow.

I could hardly sleep on Friday night with the ringing in my ears and nervous excitement at the prospect of the looming Book Yer Ane Fest. It has seemed as though the organisation and energy spent getting everything sorted out has taken over my life for the past month or so. After about 5 hours, it was morning and I was up for breakfast and a quick trim of my seemingly uncontrollable barnet. I met the rest of the JT boys and Johnny Harcus, loaded in the gear and began setting up and soundchecking. Doors open time arrived quickly and the first few folk started making their way in.

The Hijacks took the stage first and blew us away with 20 minutes of the finest, most life-affirming ska-punk you are ever going to hear and set the tone for the day. The sound was crystal clear (thanks John!) and the band were razorsharp for such an early start. Next up was The Living Daylights who ripped through their set in front of the steadily growing crowd. These guys have been on tour for weeks and this was the first of two gigs for them, as they were playing Glasgow along with The Hijacks later that night. These guys are great and even though we'd never met before, they are already one of my favourite UK punk bands. They're off to Europe in a week or so. Check them out.

State Of Affairs were up next and were in good form in matching ginghem shirts. These guys are always a solid bet when it comes to the rock'n'roll! I was running around like a blue-arsed fly and didn't catch all of their set. PHC's dirtiest swine MAFAFI destroyed eardrums and sweated all over the place, with Sam being the first person to get in people's faces. The new material is sounding as brutal and schizo as ever. Sunset Squad upped the intensity and delivered an epic set of harsh melodic hardcore. Props to Potter for the onstage vomitus! There is a photo knocking about somewhere that will tell the story better than I ever could!

It was great to see Torturo Nervosa playing in front of warmed-up crowd and they treated us to their dischordant punk noise. Their new CD is top quality and take on an even rougher edge live with the three-way vocals and brooding aggression. Top notch indeed. Barry and Gain were up next and rattled through their folk-punk anthems, including a D4 cover. Barry's lyrics seemed to have added poignancy and I was choked up during '9 Years'. I love 15 Minutes and this was one of the most primal and engaging sets I have ever seen them play. Fragile were running a little late so Franco literally came straight from his car and onto the stage. We got involved in some dancing and I'm sure there was the first pyramid of the day. Hard and fast as always, the boys represented the punk rock'n'roll as we prepared for a more hardcore-orientated evening.

A Swordmaster set is always a sight to behold and Bobby demonstrated his technical virtuosity and melodic sensibilities clad in his fetching leopard print tights. 80's metal has never been my thing, but they were super-entertaining and are amazingly talented musicans. Epic would be the word. The room filled up in anticipation of Black Channels first hometown show. It was inevitable that everything was going to kick off given the circumstances and when the kicked off, almost everybody seemed to completely lose their shit. Absolutely immense, emotive, brutal and chaotic. Perfect.

By this stage I was shitting myself as we were up next, playing our first Perth show and our third gig ever. I raced from my last-minute tabby and straight onstage and it went off. Everbody was hyped after Black Channels and the booze had obviously began to take effect as everyone on the floor was skanking and dancing about. The crowd were awesome with cuddyback circle pits, human pyramids and an epic crowd surf at the end of 'Troubled Times'. I don't know if I jumped or if I was thrown, but I was up their for fucking ages! Honestly, it has to be one of the most primal, emotional and chaotic sets that I've ever been a part of and I couldn't been happier or more proud of my boys. I love you guys! We'll be recording our first CD soon and will be hitting the road shortly thereafter, so be warned, we are coming and we are bringing it big time, no fucking about!

By the time Kaddish came on, the back room was packed and I was absoutely knackered. They are one of the most devastating bands I have ever seen and they didn't disappointed as they ripped through old favourites and a couple of new songs. The emotional connection Kaddish seem to have with everyone is unique as it is powerful and it was a pleasure to have them playing the fest. I didn't think it possible, but Mesa Verde upped the bar and tore Mucky's apart. It was amazing.

We ran slightly overtime but nothing was said of it. There are so many people that I have to thank. Thanks to all the bands for coming and supporting the cause. Sometimes within this DIY community it is easy to become dissillusioned and factional, but it is days like Saturday, when everybody comes together united for the same reasons, where all the hard work seems worthwhile afterall. All of the bands were great and the atmosphere was amazing. Thanks so much to Mandy, Louise, Lee and Merlin at Mucky Mulligan's for allowing us to have the run of the place and for being such accomodating hosts. Thanks to the cowpunks for all the help and support over the past weeks and thanks to my good lady for putting up with me! Special thanks to everybody that came along and supported the cause!

Massive special thanks to Lisa from Safe-Tay for all the help with printing and the posters. I hope that we did you and the memory of Graham proud.

After everything, we made £435 profit for Safe-Tay. Stoked!

Cowpunk love,

x

Folks have been asking/nagging/insisting that I post up some of my "poetry" for a while now. The reasons people desire such self-torture are not overly evident, but here you go anyways. There are no explanations, excuses, comedic self-effacement, reason or rhyme, nor any particular theme.

These have been written at various points over the past couple of years. There are literally hundreds of pieces of paper around that have been defaced by my scrawl, but these particular little nuggets all come from my Big Red Book of Doom. I don't expect any particular joy to come of this, but in the interests of honesty and freedom of information, here ye go. Some are songs, some are fragments, some are prose, some have titles, some don't - just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. Here's a bunch, in completely unedited form as they appear handwritten...

---

'A Pretty Girl Dream At 5am'

Why do you insist on staring so vacantly into your empty coffee cup? Does it centralise and focus your thoughts? Do you care to share them with me? Oh, you'll share everything with me you say? A noble intention, with that we can have no doubt. It's the doubt that about everything else that inspires this uneasiness. Do I lie here perpetually in my idle ropiness to serve a momentary purpose desired by your fleeting idle thoughts? What role should I be playing here? Am I a basketball? How high do I bounce? Your idle thoughts are my dreams. What you discard is what I feed on. What you dismiss forms the foundations of my belief and your belief is the beginning of my terror. What you thought would be forver, I destroyed for hell and leather. What I destroy, you take to create, and you said your creation could never wait. But I wait. I wait while you prepare, even then I don't despair but when we connect, in retrospect, my mind suspects that this fails to substantiate whatever feelings we should have disregarded before.

---

'Punx'

Staring across the dancefloor, mail order from the skate store, acting like you're 'hardcore', but your just pulling shapes. Street pizza, keep your clothes clean, posers in the punk scene, mohawks and studs don't make yiu mean if you don't have a clue. You never read the fanzines, MTV blowjob wet dream, throwing punches, where have you been? Let me get the facts straight; is it just your parents that you hate? Just stay at home and masturbate and don't feed me your shit.

---

'A Taste'

Read the book and don't question the story. Take another look around god's house. Never waste a second second-guessing yourself. Don't tell me what faith is all about. I dreamt you died, your body rose above me. As you took your final look down from the sky, there were no tears welled up in your eyes. You looked fine.

---

'Blueprints'

Twist up my designs. Disregard the blueprints. Goodnight to you. "God bless", I'll dream of you 'til morning. A mooment to confess. Desires fires burning. Extinguish, pass the test. Another feeling leaving me. Homesick, it's hard to hide, no room left for commotion, so take a second guess, question your own emotion. I should've loved you less, but you inspired my devotion. This feeling's now compressed, just a drop in the deep ocean now.

---

'River Poem'

The dark prince of depravity rears ugly head again, the twisted alter-ego of another fake best friend. 'I thought you'd've gained some semblance of maturity by now, but you're still a little confused punk who wants to stand out from the crowd'.I'm sorely disappointed in yourself but don't know why, you'll never change your circumstance until the day you die, but that would be alright with me, no tears shall wet my eyes. Another bitter disappointment, just inches from the prize.

---

'A Gift'

Magic mescaline moments like the projection of a dream. A fantasy forgotten, lost in the context of the scene. The pursuit is not perpetual, just a momentary burst when irrespresible desire meets the insatiable thurst. The prospect is appealling; the reality a game, but our dreams are not existence, we exist to live in pain. So thank you for your present; my third eye is a gift. This vision will be remembered as thought and memory drifts.

---

'Early Morning Mushroom Moment With Laney'

If I had to make a wish to encapsulate everything into a single moment, I dream I had  you by my side to imagine the perfect way that I could die. Not since the womb can I remember such warmth, security, belonging/ It's imperative that you join me on this mission. You are my co-pilot, my sense of direction. I am the keeper of your flame, your liberation from insecurity and your inheritance when you free yourself from your chains. I can see it in your eyes that you know what's right. It's not a single night or a flicker of light illuminating darkness, it's a split-second decision between your fear and your love. We cannot afford to linger in this ambiguity, suffocating ourselves into obscurity to free the field for others. These others you offend are not your friends, they are selfish and insecure parasites of yours that gnaw on your flesh when you're feeling second best. I can feel the warmth. I am the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. I am the destination to which your journey will lead you. I am the passion to dispense with your fashion. I am the spark that fills your world with light. I will be your forver and a day. All we need is conviction and courage to say "I am free with my passion" and I'll thank the powers that convinced you to stay, thank the voices that spoke when I prayed knowing pennance is paid, the foundations we laid supporting a city of light we gave life to, with our palace of hope beyond the microscope under which we're studied. We will go unhurried, the doubt we shall bury under to mountains to see our lives from above. We shall join together and become each other, share sensitive cells when emotions are hijacked by infidels on their way down to hell. We are a certain truth emerging through the wasted youth and I will march through the burning image of you, and forever you will be a path to myself.

---

'Bad Times and Lies'

I don't know why you perpetuate, all these lies turn love to hate, mistrust breeds, suspicion creeps into your mind, jealous eyes, bad times and lies.

Escapades and pennance paid, foundations laid are laid to waste, what a time to take to hesitate, love yourself, desperate, bad times and lies.

I cross my heart and hope to die, I swear to god that I never tried to pull the wool over your eyes. I believed it all a million times. Bad times and lies.

Time to move on, I hope you grow. Time to reflect on this poor show. What a time to take to hesitate, love yourself, desperate, bad times and lies.

I cross my heart and hope to die, I swear to god that I never tried to pull the wool over your eyes. I believed it all a million times. Bad times and lies.

---

'Elements'

Ask yourself imponderable questions. Ask your father to teach you a lesson. Seek guidance to exceed expectations. If your vocation is a calling it is your revelation. So easy to verbalise, impossible to analyse, so simple to criticise, a mystery unexplained.

---

'Cogs In The Machine'

Don't even think about the things you want to ask about. You already know the answers, you already know. There's no question but to question everything so just string me up, put me back against the wall. Don't question the regime. We're all cogs in the machine

Don't blame your ignorance on their incompetence, it should be common sense to seek independence. But take a look at me, almost twenty-fuckin-three, full of apathy so just string me up, put me back against the wall. Don't question the regime. We're all cogs in the machine.

Don't believe the media and everything they're feeding ya, creating mass hysteria for a profit and a price. We all know we're gonna die while dreaming of a dollar so just string me up, put me back against the wall. Don't question the regime. We're all cogs in the machine.

---

'To The Chaos'

I thought we were invincible, all-knowing, all-powerful. Forgot the fear of being afraid while digging my early grave. Four am comes round again, I hear you knocking at my door. I know exactly why you're here, that's why I feel so cold.

Beginning in a brand-new end when you're dancing with your fake best friend, forgot the fear of being alive while getting ready for the next life. It is just a story line, actors do just what they're told. Perfection will have to wait 'cos I'm already sold...

...To the chaos in the soul. It's so hard to fight when you feel so low, but fight we will, fight with soul, because in this chaos it's all we know.

Pretending that you just don't care, you know it's not really fair. All the people that you love have just about had enough. Be prepared if you feeling scared, failure is always, look at life in another light if you're not already sold...

...To the chaos in the soul. It's so hard to fight when you feel so low, but fight we will, fight with soul, because in this chaos it's all we know.

---

'True Stories'

If you've waited your whole life for this moment to arrive, make sure your story's straight when you open your eyes. Reality is blinding with a million stories told, make sure you have yours written down before your soul is sold.

Are your stories fact or fiction? Are you honest, bold and true? Have you a habit you exaggerate? Are you the hero of them all or does humility bring in clarity when you confess your sins? Are we all a human narrative that starts where life begins?

Please tell me your story. It's my privilege, it's your right. I want you to indulge me, read me a chapter every night. Tell me every detail, explain every little twist, the evolution of yourself is not something that I'd miss. Share with me your hopes and fears and I'll share with you mine, or do you speak with a forked-tongue, always changing every time?

So if our lives are just true stories, they shift to legend when we're gone. The drunken tales become the truth celebrated in our songs. Embrace these days with passion, no-one knows how long they'll last, but one thing I know is before you ever know, these days become our past.

If you've waited your whole life for this moment to arrive, make sure you've got your story straight before you tell a lie. Reality is blinding with a million stories sold. Make sure you have it written down before your story's told.

---

'Nazi In The White House'

This is a message to the man in the White House. You're the bully of the fucking world. You don't cry because you can't feel it. Just it if to the Third World. It's in your eyes...

Is there a nazi in the White House? And are his hands covered in blood? Is there a nazi in the White House with God, guns, government and US Bombs?

This is a message to the man in the White House? Quit murdering our fucking world. You'll hang a man in the name of freedom. Just what the fuck's that all about? It's in your eyes...

Is there a nazi in the White House? And are his hands covered in blood? Is there a nazi in the White House with God, guns, government and US bombs?

There's always US bombs.

---

'What Did I Do This Time?

What did I do this time? Was I drinking tonic wine? Was I ever-so offensive? Should I apologise because I don't remember much about last night?!

Did I hit on your girlfriend? Did I try to start a fight? Did I fall out with all my friends? Did I ruin Friday night because I don't remember much about last night?!

Did I spend all my money? Did I spend it on cocaine? Is that why I'm feeling funny with this pounding in my brain? Because I don't remember much about last night!

Who is this beside me? I don't know her name. I'm guessing because we're naked it's a one-night stand again because I don't remember much about last night.

Friday night wastage is so hard to fight when you feel so jaded and your work-week's shite, it's so hard to fight when your so frustrated.

What did I do this time?

---

'Parasite'

Asleep at the wheel now that I've got nothing left to feel. I can't evolve and I can't pretend I'm one hundred percent okay. What do I need, another bullshit way to say that I'm cool and I'm down with everything that you do?

You're just another parasite in my mind.

I can't believe that you could and would have been so blind. I'm searching for something, I'm searching for something that I'll never find. My child, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I meant nothing to you, but it's me, and it's true that I've never been that way inclined.

Your just another parasite in my mind.

Buy it from your government. Live your life by consent. I don't know the reason why our history books are full of lies.

Your just another parasite in my mind.

---

'Stifled Dreams and Empty Scenes'

I write in reaction to the effects that I have caused, as my means of pennance when there is no reward. The actions are all mine, responsibilties are too, when bridges are more than broken just being punk won't do.

Accept imperfection as a salutory lesson, forget about the dreams that you forgot to mention. Say goodbye to past good times, transcend all fears that of this lifetime. Hope you can get through this stupidity, what have I missed?

I faced the facts then let it go, took the trip, went with the flow. Now we're lost so far downstream, I can't recall the simple dreams. When I reach out there's no-one there and it's far to late to be unprepared. So don't be scared and speak your mind, and find yourself while you still have time.

---

'Panic'

This panic is irrational, a sight, a scene, a fear. A thousand feet above the ground, fly with eagles here. A princess in her chamber, no rescue from this tower. It's the distress of a mistress as she wastes away the hours.

Silver banks are beckoning, a fresh wind chills the bones, a place of ancient history, the seat of kings and thrones. Discover me and pray for thee as the clock clicks down the hours, feel the force invincible, you're a god of endless power.

---

'Lost and Found'

I hope by now that you know just who runs the show. I hope I've made it clear that you're not welcome here. What goes around comes around, change is more than a sound. Look for me in 'lost and found' as I disappear back underground...

..I'm so lost, I just can't be found. What the fuck are we doing anyway?

Right my friend, it's time to think. Are you thinking about the drink? Or is your thinking clear? Watch you as you disappear into the moral high-ground, the same record spinning round like lost dreams that never re-appear...

...I'm so lost, I just can't be found. What the fuck are we doing anyway?

---

'Voices'

Are you scared of your own voice? When you speak do you hear the echoes of your brain in stereo? Does the voice that speaks belong to you or do you belong to your voice? Is this your true voice? Is it a voice that's universal? These melodious tones are difficult to find. Speak loud and use the voice. The voice is not a jukebox. It can't be paid and it doesn't cost a penny.

---

'Bridges'

Empty shipyards and coastal roads, distant horizons as hearts explode. Crossing a bridge that doesn't lead to heaven, across the water while I'm pretending to understand the matter at hand. Still praying for beauty and truth, this wasted youth is another blur, a broken image and a vision of her.

---

'Successful Self-Combustion'

Nothing to do but write. If my mind stays stationary for several seconds more I may finally succeed in self-combustion. It races far too fast to be stalled at the beginning of this adventure. Watching people walk on by into oblivion, never knowing anybody but by their vices and disappointments. A tragic chasm between life and dreams. Make friends with the clouds because they'll be here longer than my fleeting visit into your life. Will you always remember the blaze that flew through and scorched your earth? The rain is here forever for you to bathe your wounds. The water is pure here and time will heal the fear. Take that time to move on. I sometimes wonder what she's thinking. The rest of the time I wonder if she's thinking about me.

---

'The Ballad of Bint and Oaf'

The story starts the way that these things do with some punk kids hanging in a crew smoking up and listening to tunes. Where you find punk rock you're bound to find booze. Beer, whisky, vodka, you choose.

So this went on throughout the high school years, brothers til the end, through the blood, sweat and tears, then it came around, I'm leaving this town, and you're still with her, that bitch is still around. What is it about this shitty town?

You did it again, you swallowed it all. Hundreds of lies from a porcelain doll. You'll never see me. I'll never see you. Cut the chord, forget about the truth. What happens next is over to you...

So I went away to chase my dream. The world's the biggest place that you've never seen. Oh give it up, won't you listen to me? I'm not an art-fag freak because I've got an art-school degree. What you see is what you'll get from me.

When I went away I was thinking of you and all the shitty things that we've been through, the breaking-up, the death of the scene but you're still with her and still you won't talk to me, and there's no end that I can see.

You did it again, you swallowed it all. Hundreds of lies from a porcelain doll. You'll never see me, I'll never see you. Cut the chord, forget about the truth. What happens next my friend is over to you.

---

'Scream Your Heart Out'

I can't shake this feeling that it's meaningless, like dreams that you dismiss. I tried hope and prayed for rain. Look what it became - a charade, a nothing...

...but I'm not down, I'm not out, my heart's still underground. So scream out, scream now, scream your heart right out.

Learn, digest, then discard the questions you find hard. I hid my face then I lied again. Look what it became - my charade, my nothing...

...but I'm not down, I'm not out, my heart's still underground. So scream out, scream now, scream now, scream your heart right out.

---

'Rejection'

I propose a complete rejection of your system, a total subversion of your exploitative culture, the burning of your cataclysmic constitution, the demolition of paper parliament, the trial and punishment of your imperial puppet propagandists precipitating the rise of the free voices of reason, dispensing with your patriotism and misguided national pride, replacing it with the free-flow exchange of ideas that represents the source of light that exists in our hearts, manifesting itself in the power of the spirit of the people, everybody equal. This hierarchical structure must be destroyed by our passion. We demand unity, not presidential impunity. We demand rights, not corporate building sites. We are the people yet you have the power. Tell me what is wrong with this picture?

---

'In Your Arms'

The establishment is the misery endured. Not a home, not a haven, not a bed on which to rest my head. Carnage in the quarters, nowhere to go to escape. Escapades anarcho, the order of the day. Drugs den, delusion, desperate, depraved. Two chairs, a television, perfectly fucked-up dullybox vision. Work, smoke, work, smoke, work, smoke, tunnel vision. Production and creation, I never find myself. No well-stocked kitchen, no culinary delights. Our HQ is a crack-den, waste disposal, full of shite. Take the keys back please, the beast is back in your arms.

---

'A Moment of Silence'

Quiet crisis, confidence, confusion. Explosion, emotion, a moment of silence. Chaos confusion, heart-strings breaking. White noise, breaking windows, heart-break, you know? Long live the martyr, he's dead, seeking solitude. Explosion, emotion, a moment of silence.

---

'The Last Night Regret'

Packing up years of memories with scars that I wear on my sleeve, formed the foundations of my belief and set the tone for life. Screaming out the energy, time spent crying on my knees, my home for life and family has been ripped from me, or so it seems.

Boxing up the all the little things, things that made me want to see sing, makes me think back to a time the future was so clear. But life throws up the circumstance, take your best friend to the dance, remembering the happenstance that brought this all to be.

Seperate then demonstrate the ability to co-operate so we can rescue peace from this hate, remember please to lock the gate and please give me your keys.

Leaving on that final day, gran's piano will have to stay, another dream just fades away into the open sky. From mohawk hill and far beyond, I hate to break this precious bond. What can you do when faith falls through and god forgets to talk to you? Stick to your guns and just stay strong.

You'll always be my number one.

---

'Dreams of a Village Idiot'

The village is missing its idiot now I'm so far from home. I miss broken beer bottles and all the pointless brawls but it's time to let it all go.

Hold the sunrise til we're gone, send a message from the road, it's the only life we know, hold the sunrise til we're gone.

Now I've got a plan, hit the toilets with my band, dreaming of a Transit van and eating beans straight from the can. We've got nothing but at least it's our own.

Hold the sunrise til we're gone, send a message from the road, it's the only life we know, hold the sunrise til we're gone.

---

'It's Not A Luxury When It Happens Every Night'

More chaos creating karmic carnage in the cranium necessitating the need for collective recollections and challenging inward reflections on this fucked-up state of grace. Waking up at 9am in wayward wanton wastelands and missing trains of tears towards she that I hold dear with fractured thought and a mind that is never clear. My feelings just disappear like whimsical dreams of being near to where I need to be, anywhere but here, crippled by the fear. At 6pm I start again, falling foul of fabricated friends that prop you up until you reach the end. Let's pretend that perfection is a simple life lesson, my trip on a Sunday always end in confession, a lack of pretension creating obsession fuelled by desire to set the moon on fire. I'm so tired of pretending that this feeling is more than ready for the ending.

It's not a luxury if we do this every night.

---

'Absorb'

Hey, I looked at the photographs, ain't I charming?

Having a bit of a crisis, what are we doing with our lives?

I panic about it all, best trust science.

I am emotionally and philosophically conflicted, need primal scream therapy!

Done nothing but think, can't go home, can't stay here.

Have hope, will travel.

Just want to kick back, absorb, but I must strike while the iron is hot.

Maybe a bit of both would be better, it's all happening too fast.

It's all worthy, but I'm really going to miss you.

You'll be in my dreams.

This industry used to employ millions.

It all melts.

Sleep well.

---

'July 30th'

Feeling a bit like Holden Caulfield, traipsing through emotional minefields,

Taking a trip that leads to nowhere, never going to know when I've got there.

Feeling exposed, stuck in a nightmare,

Cranium hurts, psychological quagmire.

Need to escape, craving some closure,

Need to keep cool, stay calm, composure.

Feel a bit sick, sucked-up, lifeless,

Feeling the rage, hate it when I'm like this.

Lashing out won't solve this crisis,

A little piece of mind is fucking priceless.

Got to try and move on, find a new direction,

Never give up the pursuit of perfection.

Accept that life can be a bit of a shitter,

And try to rise above, don't be bitter,

But accept the fact that you'll always miss her.

x

---

Right, that's it for now. As always, all abuse is more than welcome. All words by me.

Cowpunk love.

What a weekend!

This weekend has been a chaotic and emotional experience. It all started on Thursday night when the Cowpunk All-Stars played our first show at The Balcony Bar. As always, it was a pleasure to share the stage with Cole Appleyard. They were tight as hell and rocked harder than I've ever seen them. It's just such a pity that they will soon be no more.

We played a pretty tight set and only made one cock-up, and I have to say that it was my fault. I missed my vocal cue and we got a little confused, but we pulled it all together and it was sound. It was great to play with a full band again and I could tell that everybody was pretty stoked on it. It was Ben's first show in abiut 6 years and Kev's first gig since the PMX tour last summer, so it was awesome to rock out. The sound was great and I think the small, yet perfectly formed audience enjoyed themselves. There were maybe 30 folks tops, which is not bad considering it was our first show and had all of 3 days to pimp it.

I rolled into work on Friday then met the troops to have a 3-hour practice to tighten up the set for Jam in the Den. We fine-tuned the set list and it lasted almost exactly an hour, the length of our set for the Den. Afterwards me and Gain spent some time drinking at his house. We only had 2 beers and 2 whiskies each, but whisky swallows time and the next thing we knew it was 6am. That's what happens when ye get two cowpunks, two guitars, whisky and heartbreak. I played Gain my new song and he insists that it gets recorded asap. I am inclined to agree. It's called 'You'll Be Happier This Way'. It's quite sad.

Saturday rolled around and I was getting ready to hit the United/Barca game when I got a phone call from Flett telling me that our set-time had been moved. This proved a bit problematic as there was no way we could be there by 7pm, but we got there just a little later. As it turns out. it was fine and we ended up going on about half 8. The Den was absolutely rammed, probably the busiest I've ever seen it. It was awesome. People were steaming, dancing and having a ball, and this excited us. We started in a hail of feedback then we were off! Circle pits, pyramids and wrestling - ye cannae beat it! The troops in front of the stage made the biggest human pyramid I have ever seen. I wish I had a camera so I could have documented it. The set seemed to fly by and before we knew it, we were singing the last few bars of 'Talk About The Weather'. We did Bro Hymn and got our bros up to sing it with us. McKenna managed to bust my lip with the mic, but I'd already rattled myself in the teeth several times already. It's a springy stage and I was pogoing like a goon. I have to say that the entire set was a thoroughly cathartic experience and it was quite possibly the best set that I have ever played. I just want to say thanks to everybody for making my homecoming such a special occassion. That was exactly what I needed in light of eveything that has happened recently. Bros, family, punk rock and good times will always help heal the a hurting heart.

As soon as we finished we got all the gear away in record time. Ben's bass amp is a beast so that was the first thing to go. After that was sorted, it was time for celebratory drinks and group hugs. Everyone was super-stoked and we seemed to go down really well. I few people told me that that was the best set that they've ever seen at Jam in the Den, which means a lot considering the jam is now in it's tenth year. Two guys came up to me and asked what record label we were on and why we weren't playing at T In The Park! That's a good question, I say! Maybe next year :-)

Then it was down the road to Pete's after Shenanigan had brought the curtain down on the gig. Guitars were played, songs were sung, drinks were drunk and good times had. I ended up crashing on the couch after guilt-tripping a lass into giving it to me. Maybe it was the threat of an elbow drop if she didn't move that did it. McKenna had long since passed out on my dad's couch just up the road, Flett was passed out in Brother MacFarlane's shed, Kev Chin had passed out at Becca's and Gain had gone to see his wife, so I had to fend myself and take care of number one, yo!

When I awoke on Sunday I realised that I could barely speak, let alone sing, so I called Kirk from Good For Nothing? to say that I wouldn't be able to play at Drummonds. I was gutted but he was very understanding. That left the day free so McKenna and I headed to the Burnside to meet everybody for the traditional Jam in the Den post-mortem. Everybody seemed to agree that it was one of the most awesome of all time and were proper stoked with everything that went down. Thankfully I had no serious carnage to report, no fights or bad craic to report whatsoever. There was a fight at one point, but I didn't get involved. Seems McKenna grabbing the boy and telling him in no uncertain terms to remove himself from the vicinity. I guess the kick fae Larry probably helped!

After a few drinks and a BBQ, it was time to hit a bolt. I grabbed my bag and guitar from my dad's then was picked up by my sister outside Geo's. I wasn't feeling to great about going back to an empty flat so got a bit emotional. After such euphoric experiences the day before, I felt strangely empty coming back in the car. I got a call from Leigh and headed down to his new flat for some drinks. I ended up just crashing on the couch and woke up this morning all bleary-eyed and sleepy, dragged my ass back home and got ready for work. I finished an hour ago and now I'm blogging. That's what happens...

So, yeah, an absolutely blinding weekend. Even getting humped by Barca couldn't bring me down. In fact, it was a pleasure to watch United get ripped apart by Messi, Henry, Eto'o and company. Total football genius. The band is going to continue and we've now got a name - Joey Terrifying! We've already got a mypuss page but no music yet, so there probably isn't much point in checking it out yet. I assure ye I will inform ye all about it when the time is right!

Next weekend is the Burnside. Should be another belter. In the meantime, it's a week of work, practice and hopefully some recording. I need to keep myself busy right now because if I stop to think too much about everything that's happened, I'm likely to go fucking crazy.

Thanks to everyone for such an awesome weekend. It's weekends like that that makes the endless struggle of life seem worth it.

Cowpunk love,

Deeker x

Oi Oi,

I recorded another song with the wonderful Tom Mitchell today. 'Alice and The Looking Glass' was written quite some time ago but has rarely been played. It seemed about time it was recorded, so we did it today and it took just over two hours to finish. We were listening to old PMX and some eerie black metal in-between times.

This song is going to be one of my contributions to my upcoming split record with 15 Minutes. I'm really looking forward to this record coming out and hope that you guys will too. The plan is for each of us to do three originals, one cover and one cover of each other! I'll need to get my thinking cap on for that one!

Anyways, here's the lyrics.

-----

'Alice and The Looking Glass'

There's one in the store, I'll go check out more

Go downtown and browse around, see what fun can be found.

Go for a walk and a talk, have a smoke, take a drink

The path to lose your mind runs straight through this town.

He can't see her anymore but the stars spell out her name,

Look into his beer glass, all I see is pain.

Whispers walking are passing by and I cannot light the match.

Give that man another pint and pour it down his hatch...

Selling the children won't pay the bills but it may help rest your mind.

Alice and her looking glass must've got it wrong this time.

I met a man on the beach, walking in the sand.

He said that he had something special in his hand,

He was in a state of unsound mental health,

But he sounded like a wise man with life under his belt.

So he took me down to the bar and whispered in my ear...

Selling the children won't pay the bills but it may help rest your mind,

Alice and her looking glass must've got it wrong this time.

Was it an act of god that stopped a runaway train?

No-one saw it coming, it's been driving me insane.

What else can you do when there's no songs left to sing?

Alice and her looking glass must've got it wrong again...

Selling the children won't pay the bills but it may help rest your mind,

Alice and her looking glass must've got it wrong this time.

'This Is Not A Luxury' was recorded by Tom Mitchell (Allergo/Black Channels) in his music room on Monday 23rd June. The whole process took around 3 hours.

This is the first of what will hopefully be a series of recordings that will constitute my new EP.

I'll also be recording for a split EP with 15 Minutes that will hopefully be ready for the end of the summer.

'This Is Not A Luxury'

Packing up years of memories with scars I wear on my sleeve

Foundations of my belief aset the scene for me

Screaming out with energy, time spent crying on my knees

Home for life and family has been ripped from me

Or so it seems...

Boxing up all the little things, things that made me want to sing

Makes me think back to a time the future was clear

But life throws up the circumstance, take your best friend to the dance

Remembering the happenstance that brought this all to be...

Seperate, demonstrate ability to co-operate

We can rescue peace from hate

Please remember to lock the gate

And please give me your keys.

Leaving on that final day, gran's piano will have to stay

Another dream just fades away into the open sky

From mohawk hill and far beyond,

I hate to break this precious bond

What can you do when faith falls through and god forgets to talk to you?

You...

Seperate, demonstrate ability to co-operate

We can rescue peace from hate

Please remember to lock the gate

And please give me your keys.

You'll always be my number one.

Oi Oi troops!

I haven't posted up a blog in a while, so thought it was about time to share some of my thoughts. I've been keeping a low profile somewhat recently, just getting my head down and ploughing on with my dissertation and my publishing project. Going back to do my Masters has been a pretty good experience, although I haven't had the luxury of indulging in the student lifestyle. I did plenty enough of that when I was at Stirling University the first time around, so I'm more than happy to be occupied with work, my music group, gigging, my lady and spending countless hours riding public transport! Oh, that and copious amounts of course work.

I finished my book project, entitled 'Tales From The Underground'. It's a collection of lyrics and poetry compiled from my various works over the past ten years. It's not a commercial exercise, but I may put together a few copies to hawk along with my new EP...

The new EP is being recorded in May. I am waiting until my dissertation and exams are over so I can concentrate fully on the recording. I'll be doing it with Chic PMX in his living room and it will contain a bunch of new songs. The tentative title for the record is 'This Is Not A Luxury'. The song of the same name will be on there, as well as a new one called 'Thank Fuck This Is Over'. I'm also going to re-record 'A Penny For Your Thoughts' as the only copy I have is on a blank CDr somewhere in my flat and we recorded on a 4-track with a borrowed acoustic (thanks Kev!) about 4 years ago, so it's time to give the song the proper treatment! There'll be 3 or 4 other new songs on there and maybe a cover of some sort, but we'll have to wait and see about that!

I haven't played all that many shows recently due to uni, but also due to slicing a massive chunk out of my left index finger! I was cutting tatties and one momentary lapse of concentration later, I was bleeding all over the chopping board. One word: fanny.

The shows with the Trio a couple of months ago were good craic, although the Dundee show was a bit of stinker. That's what ye get for playing gigs beered up. Mike Park was awesome though. I ended up playing two sets, as the show was running ahead of and, with there being an acoustic show happening in the other room of The Tunnels, the boys in The Hijacks asked if I'd do a solo set. I borrowed Chris' for The Lawrence Arms (Sundowner) acoustic and played a short by sweet 5 song set. Good times.

Love has to go also to The Dangerfields and Richard Bacchus. We out on a show at Mucky Mulligan's in Perth at pretty short notice, so it was good to see the place busy and everybody digging the rock'n'roll. It was ace to meet Richard and it's always a pleasure to share an evening of rukus with Mr. Griswold and company.

More shows are coming up over the next couple of months. Check the page for updates. I'm playing an all-dayer in Glasgow on May 4th, which is the bank holiday weekend and the Sunday after I hand in my dissertation. Needless to say, I'll be up for some good times.

Anyways, more study beckons.

Take care ged.

Cowpunk love,

Deeker x