I found the best Christmas Movie EVER.  I was about to buy it on ebay, thank god for youtube.  if you need to have a laugh and wanna get in the christmas spirit, watch this.  i wrote a blog on it a few weeks ago. 

If you dont watch it all, at least skip towards the end and see Dolly eat the poison apple pie in Part 7...

A SMOKY MOUNTAIN CHRISTMAS

directed by Henry Winkler

starring:

DOLLY PARTON, John Ritter, Lee Majors, and Dan Hedaya

Below are the LINKS to the youtube pages

Part 1

Part 2

Part 2.5

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 5.5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

...

 

saturday morning.... we woke up and went to the two downtown MOCA (museum of contemporary art) locations in downtown LA.  japanese artist murakami, who works in all medias (painting, sculpture, film, louis vuitton bags, stuffed animals) had a huge 99 piece exhibition at the geffen contemporary.  never thought i liked anime, but now i can say i do. 

we strolled a while downtown and richard had his first bubble tea - eh, bubble frappucino.  i hate the tabioca balls on the bottom, but i partook in a bubble smoothie myself.  we had a good dinner (at least i did) in tokyo town and then had my favorite LA treat, pinkberry. 

tori's show in anaheim went down without a hitch.  she turned it on and i soaked it up.  my feet kinda hurt though since it was general admission standing and tori plays for a LONG time.

 

ricky decided he needed to head back to scottsdale early since he is moving to boca soon, so he booked a flight, we had brunch at our favorite organic cafe in venice and strolled the boardwalk.  love the crazies there.  men in speedos flexing their muscles, stoner homeless teens begging for pot, psychics and artists, wigs and henna.  ricky left and i went to tori's last show on this tour in downtown LA.  she played her heart out.  i was very pleased.  she never played jackie's strength or honey, but she did play cooling in the last setlist, so that was nice.  i sat next to an actress named clea duvall.  she has been in a lot of things - she's all that, heroes, girl interrupted, 13 conversations about one thing.  i love seeing famous people.  even if they aren't THAT famous.  i didn't talk to her cause i think i would hate it if some random came up to me at a tori show and wanted to talk about my work.  i think she is a lesbian and if that was  her girlfriend with her, she is doin good. 

 

that's all for the weekend. nice and relaxed.  concerts, museums, good meals...

oh--  i called jenny from the block on sunday to see if she wanted to use ricky's disneyland and magic mountain tickets and she did.  she booked a flight for monday...

 

the adventure continues later.  and it was full of surprises....

we saw "chelsea lately" with guests ben stein and vj from "america's most smartest model". it was hilarious. i am not a big watcher of the show, but chuy is amazing. maybe some of you caught me in the audience camera. i am always in awe of how fake the shows are that they present to us. recording clapping and laughing prior to any of that occuring....

we ate dinner at the top of our hotel in downtown LA. great sea bass... then wicked, which was more than one could ever have wanted. fabulous.

out later in silverlake. fun fun. tomorrow MOCA and tori in anaheim. hope lily makes it. nicole, hang with ricky!!

the video of tori kicking the girls out in san diego. enjoy the craziness.

I have gone to three of the five tori concerts, but our trip is just two days in. Jami, Amber, Heidi and I tried to do the meet and greet with tori in phoenix, but rain kept her away and made us all very very cold and wet. I was pissed, but got over it drinking apple cider and hanging with everyone at hannah and my place before the show. Thanks for coming those who did. The concerts have been amazing, although I am still aching to hear two songs and my telepathy has not yet worked on tori. Her outfits are CRAZY and she still has the attitude. At the San Diego show she kicked two girls out in the middle of a song. I have heard it is on youtube. Maybe I will post it when I get home. Now on to the trip, we went to the san diego zoo which was fun and we also went to coronado island in san diego. I never thought I liked san diego, but it is really charming. We rushed up to hollywood to be on the price is right, but opted to pass after learning it would be a FIVE HOUR process. Checked into the hotel and got a much better room when our AC didn't work. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and I am all greased up. Have a gorgeous view of the hollywood hills and the smog is actually clear enough that we can see the hollywood sign from our windows. Last night I drove along highway one through malibu to get to santa barbara. It took a little longer than the 101, but the sunset and the ocean made it worth the time. Today, chelsea lately and wicked. Tomorrow museums and more tori...

that is right. i bought the most beaitifulest angel in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! she sits atop the christmas tree hannah and i got yesterday. we opted for a live tree since we are hosting the kunkle christmas in scottsdale. the tree is decorated with silver and gold and looks like some ornament monster threw up all over it. of course that means it is PERFECT!

jenn and i went shopping for the tree topper and when i saw this sweet angel wearing all gold, with color-changing fiber glass lights behind her. she cost a little more than i was planning to spend, but both jenn and i knew she had to be taken home. below is a picture.

SMOKEY MOUNTAIN CHRISTMAS

lynse schmidt introduced me to this superb holiday film seven years ago while celebrating the holidays in walker tower at OU.

it stars none other than double f herself, dolly parton. add in a plot about orphans, an evil witch, a poisonous apple pie, and a cottage in the woods and you have yourself a classic.

if i can find it anywhere i am personally copying it and sending it to all interested parties :)

The nest week and a half is going to be soooo exciting....

We will also be going out almost every night dancing or hanging out while in LA.  If you want to join us for anything or meet up.  CALL ME or RICKY.

 

Sunday December 9

Decorate Christmas Tree at home with Hannah
Dinner with Glenna and Richard
Comedy Show with Glenna, Richard and Collin

 

Monday December 10

Jami comes to town....  Craziness follows

 

Tuesday December 11

Tori Amos Meet and Greet
Tori Amos Concert - Jami, Hannah, Glenna, Amber, Heidi, and me

 

Wednesday December 12

Richard and I head to San Diego
Tori Amos Concert

 

Thursday December 13

Go to LA
Audience Members at The Price Is Right
Head to Santa Barbara
Tori Amos Concert

 

Friday December 14

Shop
Audience Members at Wheel of Fortune
Lunch at the Ivy
Audience Members at Chelsea Handler
Wicked, the musical

 

Saturday December 15

Shop
MOCA
The Getty
Tori Amos Concert

 

Sunday December 16

The Beach
Veg
Tori Amos Concert

 

Monday December 17

Six Flags Magic Mountain

 

Tuesday December 18

Go to Anaheim
Disneyland

 

Wednesday December 19

Disneyland
Fly home

This fall has been crazy.  I feel like I have only been in place for minutes at a time.  Jami's wedding was a blast.  I hope you heard the stories of the bachelorette party.  I was the designated driver and could give you the best account.  Vanessa, you know you were the craziest.  If you don't rememeber, call me. 

The wedding was beautiful.  More fun than one would expect, but really, what should one expect from a wedding these days?  I know Chris and Jami are the real deal and that is enough.

The time in Albuquerque was reassuring that I am where I am supposed to be.  Angela was the best date one could ask for as usual.  I took Betsy (my parents golden retriever) to the dog park that weekend.  She cared more about the people than playing with the dogs. She stayed close and was shocked when I stuck her with Angela's dogs (Bailey, Brinkley and mini-B) for an hour for us to devour Wecks's.  

I watched the balloon fiesta from afar.  My parents were in Romania and I felt like a teen left alone to throw a toga party (something I did once at 19).  I feel like I must update and will in three parts.  I have fallen behind. Times are a changin, but I should sleep.  Night.  That was the first week of October.  So long ago.

 

so, not there right now, but was for years.  just thought i would pass it along, thanks hadley!

 

Un-Boyfriends
This Ain't a Thing, It's a Goddamn Time Waste

By Jara Anton E-mail

Dating is brutal. Usually you end up with your head in your hands, kicking your own ass about what just happened. Lately, a new strain of madness has emerged: the Un-Boyfriend.

The Un-Boyfriend is the guy who calls you every day, who takes you out on dates, who buys you slayer birthday presents. He gets a little bent if you don't meet Gram. He is very affectionate in public. You are most likely banging the hell out of him.

Most people would call this "dating." But it's nothing. Nothing at all.

The Un-Boyfriend doesn't want a relationship. He says he doesn't want to "have to call someone every night," even though that's exactly what he's doing. He tells you how bad-ass you are, but makes sure that you know you aren't his "girlfriend." Just a "really great friend."

I don't bang my friends, so here we are.

Some would tell you to stick it out, chase him. Play the game. Get in there, get dirty. Throw out your feelings and see what he says. If he's the slightest bit wishy-washy, get your ass out of there. Unless you're into dudes with no balls (though not having a set is going to be a problem at some point.)

If you're waiting for a huge gesture, keep waiting. Those only happen in Cameron Diaz movies. Chances are you'll have to have a sit-down with your Un-Boyfriend. This dude has the best of all scenarios: He has this solid, stand-up broad, smart, cute and funny, and in his pocket. But he has no loyalty to her. What. So. Ever. If that's okay, then fire away. If it sounds the slightest bit ridiculous, you'll have to lay it out. It's either a yes or a no. Yes, you like me enough to tell people that we're at least "dating," or you don't. It's that simple. If he can't even be okay with the dating idea, then turn on your hot li'l red stilettos and beat it. Give him the ass-out, one-armed friend hug and a "take it easy, dude" right before you split. He wants a kiss? Get a girlfriend.

Beware the arguments. Like, "Hey, what are labels, anyway? Labels are opinions, labels don't matter." Dude. Not really. The whole world is about calling shit stuff, as a good friend pointed out. Like it or not, that's how people communicate, they call things by name. You want to call us dating something else? You wanna call it pie? We're having pie? Done. You want to call it Brazilian monk fighting?! Cool. We're Brazilian monk fighting. But, sweet baby Jesus, stop calling it nothing.

Don't hold yourselves back. Do you have any idea how many dudes there are? Like, on the planet? I will happily take myself back to stuffing my bra full of phone numbers and picking up dudes at Borders. Really. It's a lot easier than trying to figure out what color your sky is, bro. See, I lost my goddam decoder ring and honestly, this is exhausting. I have a whole life going on here, I'd really like for you to be a part of it. But there's only so
much I can do.

He just told you that you're not his girlfriend. Listen to him. He's serious. That's what he means. Don't presume that sticking around will change anyone's mind. Don't think that you guys are gonna have a Harry-met-Sally moment. You're not. He'll probably end up banging some other chick and then calling you for advice. Now you're devastated. One caveat: He
told you in black- and-white that you guys were nothing. Don't you want someone who wants you? So, if you think you have an Un-Boyfriend, feel free to copy and paste this letter.

I have a problem with your apparent problem of saying we're not dating, so I'm out of here. I'm not crazy about being friends. I'm not going to go backwards with you. I'm not going to sleep over tonight. I'm not going to half-ass it with you. I absolutely adore you and am not able to be just buddies. You're getting bumped to the bottom of the batting order. You
were riding first-class with prime rib and vintage wine. Now you're in coach with a bag of peanuts.

I'm going to have to assume that you just don't like me enough to knuckle down and put it on the line. Otherwise, I'll assume that you just aren't strong enough to get it together. No worries, I'm not angry. Timing is 80 percent of life, and it's just not there. Maybe we'll connect in a few months, maybe a few years, maybe never. None of that is my problem, or
yours, for that matter. It's just not good enough right now. So, if things change, you still have my number. If not, I'll see you around. I might pretend that I don't know you, but no hard feelings, right, buddy?

Sincerely,

The One Who Got Away

brigitte nielsen is in rehab.  maybe i will run into her at a meeting...

 

i turned 26 a few days ago.  talked to lots of friends and family.  brother and sister, mom and dad, grandparents, aunts.  ect.  my parents snuck me an extra check which was the exact amount i needed to buy a bed.  thanks, mom and dad.  hannah cooked me a nice dinner.  penne whole wheat pasta, brocolli, peppers, and carrots all with pesto.  lots of fresh parmesan.  yum.  then she took me to get some gelato.  i had pistachio.  i always have pistachio.  none of the other flavors measure up.  anyways.  nice night.  took some melatonin and fell asleep.

i don't feel closer to 30 than to 20, but i am.  thank god i am gay and it is expected for me to not settle down, cause lord knows i am not ready. 

went out to dinner wednesday at pink taco with anthony and ricky.  good food (even though i got sick and threw it all up later). 

the apartment is almost completely furnished.  we are just wating on the couch to be delivered.  come visit! 

another rmabling blog with no point....

i am so tired and so bored.

last week was out in california.  san diego and los angeles.   ricky and i went to that "true colors" concert benefiting the human rights campaign.  all the queens mixed with all the crazies made for a very interesting evening.  margaret cho was the hostess for the evening and was on poinbt as usual.  lots of jokes about the gays, the pope, bush (not just the president), and more.  very entertaining.  dresdin dolls played after some all-dyke band from canada. 

then came debbie harry-  the highlight of the evening.  she was not on point and probably hasn't been for many years now.  she was busting out of he white cotton pants, but that didn't stop her from giving us the pelvic thrust through out the show.  her plastic surgeon has agreed to one too many procedures, leaving her with a constant joker-like smile.  very creepy.  she only played one old blondie song (the one from scarface) and trust me, the songs from her new dance album are not gems.  one song which only has the lines "your too hot, don't touch me" was a high point.  ricky and i were laughing so hard that the people next to us gave us nasty looks. 

erasure was amazing as they have beeen for years.  all the gays were waving their arms and singing along, me included. 

cyndi lauper is a huge control freak.  she yelled at the sound guy and was shooting her band mates nasty glares.  she can only dance to her left, not to her right.  she fell on the floor at one point.  we couldn't tell if she was crying or singing.

at the end of the show EVERYONE got together to sing "true colors" since it supposedly a gay anthem.  they turned off debbie's microphone so she wouldn't ruin it.  debbie caught on and got a different one.   debbie was also the only person on stage not linking arms.  she was so fucking lost.  it was a beautiful moment.  she is my new favorite crazy.  keep giving her all those happy pills.

Trouble-prone rapper Foxy Brown was attacked yesterday by three of her ex-boyfriend's gal pals - who pulled out her hearing aid and tore her hair weave at his prompting, police sources said.

The assault occurred after the hip-hop artist dumped her beau at 5:30 a.m. in Brooklyn because she found out he was a pimp, sources said.

The two were in his car in East New York, and she "was giving him the heave-ho," one source said.

"This ex-boyfriend called some of his women, and they pounced on her," another police source said. "They beat her bad. They ripped out her hair weave. Her hair was a mess - and that seems to be what she cared about most."

The women also stole Brown's handbag and $500, the sources said.

The wild dustup occurred after the 27-year-old rap diva and her unidentified boyfriend had attended a party at the Louis H. Pink Houses.

The sources said Brown originally met her beau at a recording studio and didn't realize he had a criminal past.

After the assault, Brown, who hails from Brooklyn and whose real name is Inga Marchand, went to the local police station to file a complaint.

Police drove her around the neighborhood in an unmarked car to look for the attackers. She pointed out Roshawn Anthony, 23, of Brooklyn, who was arrested and charged with assault.

Police sources said Brown stopped cooperating with the officers when one of her representatives arrived on the scene.

It was not clear whether the rapper received medical treatment for her injuries. She was diagnosed with sudden hearing loss in May 2005 while she was recording an album.

The short-fused, long-nailed Brown got three years' probation after being accused of attacking two Manhattan manicurists in 2004.

She got in hot water in February by going to Florida without permission. She was arrested there for allegedly attacking a beautician.

While the Florida case is pending, the Manhattan court that handled the original arrest imposed restrictions on Brown, including drug tests and anger management classes. Probation officials wanted the close monitoring to continue for another two months, but a Manhattan judge disagreed at a hearing earlier this month.

Probation spokesman Jack Ryan refused to comment on the latest incident until his office had more information. In general, however, probationers are not supposed to be in the company of known criminals.

I couldn't not post this.  There is a yearly Ugliest Dog Competion at some fair in California.  this year a dog from NJ won.  his name is Ellwood....  (pictured below)

Ellwood has nothing on last year's Ugliest Dog, Sam.  i think i am gonna have nightmares...

http://samugliestdog.com/