Call in and talk with Mr. Cox and I about all that is fabulous, current and happening for each of us and the world!

LIKE....Hillary, Sin Tax, Diets, Oscar Fashions, Hate, Ireland, Sex, Ellen, Cardio Training, Corruption, The/This War and Lying and Living Green-ish, Long Term Hair Goals, The Secret, Long Beach, St. Pete's, Homeland Security and Homosexuality

This is the place to be seen and heard--tonight!

Show some love, get in the game and be part of something greater than yourself or your internet/blackberry/gmail/myspace addiction.

We will chat tonight--k? Or you can stream it--got my highlights touched up and Mr. Cox is jacked! I like to say Mr. Cox.....
See you tonight my peeps...... Here is the link and numbers....

Jane Said Cee You Next Tuesday TODAY Liar Roger

And it is Thursday!  That is right.  Jane Fonda aka Eve Ensler of the Vagina Monologue's bff said the C word and something about living in Georgia first off this morning on the butter couch with Meredith and Eve promoting V-Day the day dedicated to stop the violence against women as Ann is in Africa documenting a story of rape and murder in the Congo.  Eve calls it Femiside.  Women being violently brutalized and silenced based on gender. 

Did you know that gender in little alligators it determined by temperature less than 100 hours before their birth as they swath their sturdy prickly tails against the eggshell to get out.   So females are hotter than males—now we know it is for sure—as my sister is in Australia as we speak and somehow, above board I will tell you I have disproportionate feelings of sadness about Steve Irwin's death and almost can't muster a 'crikey' without feeling guilty and sick.

Speaking of guilty and sick, I think everyone, every star struck white man in a Sears's suit Senator bets Roger Clemens feels that way—that is what the Democratic Senators would tell you.  Republicans would tell you that the trainer has had a long history of criminal behavior, like booting up his heroes with the human growth hormone.  Do you think that the growth hormone grows everything?  Like delusions of adequacy, honest, truth and depth perception?  Seems like that is a clear side effect to me.  We have an admitting wife shot in the ass for a Sports Illustrated photo shoot, his fellow players admitting that they did use it, plastic bag with syringes and gauze and Roger with a new haircut, bulging veins in his fat head and Starbucks Latte with the heat cuff on it.  WHATEVER!  Someone is lying, no one will go to jail, everyone will suffer and who cares!  Reputation and honor of what people say about baseball?  You know a sport, not an agency or mission, a sport—baseball.

Hard to really even take when the violence against women is international, daily, disturbing, being bought, sold, produced and reproduced.  Think about CSI, Criminal Minds, NBC Dateline any of them, what would they do without women's red blood on the screen, just not sexy enough.

Think about this week in the 'news'  Queen vs. Queen, comments on Beyonce's thick thighs and short dress, Roger's big fat head and desperate plea to believe his own press, Jane said the C word and everyone lived except those 196 women world wide who were killed/raped or both just because they are women, because they have their own vagina, vajayjay, coochiepop, pussy and/or cunt.  Yup, I said it.  Not easy if you are an Irish Catholic girl like me, but I have one too and would try to stay cozy warm, just to scrape out of the shell with mine.

Jane said cunt, Roger is a liar and it is Valentine's Day in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />America and my head.

Until I have the chance to make you laugh until you tinkle (thru your whoo whoo) or think until you feel…………..this is me loving you.  xo christineoleary

' But it was not just Dan Stevens who brought the success to Saturday's Coffee House.  The glue that held the talent changes together was the incredibly funny, Christine O'Leary, whose hilarious interaction with the audience members was what launched this paticular show to an all-time Coffee House high.  She was uniquely responsible for the largest audience, 50/50 raffle pot ever, using her side stitching comedy to open wallets.  ChristineOLeary.com, as she perfers to be called, eagerly emceed the Coffee House and the gifts of her talents equaled the generous support of other talented Coffee House Supporters.'

There was also a picture of me with two little cutie pie kids I brought on stage with a caption that read 'Rachel and Aaron Steiner are comedically challenged by Christine O'Leary' 

Super Waterboarding Tuesday and My Funny Valentine

So I sit at my kitchen table on SUPER TUESDAY which is said in the same way James Earl Jones might say MONDAY FOOTBALL with some echoing effect, I ask you this…..how can you cut pretty pink hearts with just the right amount of voluptuous, sexy curve while simultaneously hearing about the 'Practice of patrolled drowning known as waterboarding.'.  To date, waterboarding is not even in the lexicon of the Microsoft spell-check feature and this word processing program recognizes it as an error in thinking and practice, as do I.  Does 'patrolled drowning' mean supervised drowning?  I can not imagine how one would get this job or be a project manager of this 'practice', remembering all the while that 'practice makes perfect' which leaves me with the question, What is the 'perfect waterboarding?'  There is that pesky little red zig zag line under the word waterboarding again.  How does one get this job, or train for this department.  I see it as going something like this 'Tim, you've been with us a long time, have served the federal government as a civil servant with an amazing attention to detail, how do you feel about patrolling drowning otherwise known as Operation Waterboarding……of our captured enemies of course' Tim says 'Wow, this is big, thank you for recognizing my efforts and years of service.  I am honored to be asked to apply.  Oh, I am not being asked to apply….OOOHH, I am the Director of Operation Waterboarding aka DOOW.  Imagine, Spell-check doesn't flag DOOW for me.

I remember Valentine's Day with a fond co dependency of sorts.  Like waiting to find out on the day in little envelopes who likes you.  I suppose that myspace serves this purpose now for some, fine, like me.  Who likes me, who friended me, which for the record in myspace land 'friending' is a verb-like it or not spell-check!  Myspace people 'approve' me as their friend or 'deny' me or even worse, mark me as spam!  I am so not spam, never have been or will be-for real!

What do the two things have in common, Valentine's Day and Waterboarding?  They live on the two opposite ends of any spectrum or continuum.  Love and Hate, Light and Dark, Good and Evil, Independence and Authority, East and West, Old and New, Left and Right and the one that informs me the most-right and wrong.  Remember when we used to just say what is right and what is wrong?  Now we talk about appropriate and inappropriate and necessary and unnecessary.  I dare you to use right and wrong in a sentence today—out loud to someone, as an opinion—I double dare you!

Tonight I will watch the news with Brian Williams and hope that he thinks the big blue and red map is silly too and tell us who is winning where.  And when they win their delegates and states it will be like a little white envelope Valentine and finally, they will know who likes them and who doesn't—or just didn't like them enough.  Until then I will sit with my scissors and markers and glue and try to stick it all together in the name of love, what is right and St. Valentine!

Comment me, even if it is not totally 100% sunny and positive.  Curious what you thought.....I know you are reading it, it is just that .......well, codependancy and obsessive checking (you have it too) have me strung out and exhausted and still in my pj's.

Let it rip brother and sistahs!

John Grisholm said that if you did not write a page a day you were not a writer.  What would I write and am I a writer?  And so I decided to simply write and let out of my brain all that was in it.  The flow chart of my thinking, the questions

and therefore I guess, my opinions.

Should I take in what is fed to me or should I isolate to then reimerge and choose what I intellectually digest?  Should I watch morning television and news or turn it off and read the little local paper about the need for Meals On Wheels volunteer and if your answer is both then what do I DO!  What is the action of all the info I take in, or choose to get?  This is the question I grapple with everyday like Playdough that only has a few times left in it with bits of dried edges with carpet, hair and dirt suspended in its form.

I remember when the 'troops' which are people being hurt and hurting people everyday in the name of war was all the talk, really the rage.  There were sturdy magnetic yellow ribbons to put on our domestic and then even foreign SUV's.  You could buy them everywhere with a paper, a cup of coffee and $1.79 a gallon gas.  Now, I hardly hear anymore about who they are, how many homework days, Christmas cards, birthdays and Sunday suppers they have missed with whomever they call their family.  How is their quite time in their head-are they feeling suicidal?  I know I would!  Or, what they think about when driving or what they wish for right before they go to bed.  I am not hearing anymore about bus loads of troops, 'one way or another', wounded people coming home anymore and hardly see any welcome banners on the turnpike overpasses.  I know I am not the only one who remembers this, but I might be one of the few who will admit that this is no longer the rage. 

As I watch the morning news and shows today the focus is extremely clear. Today is the day to decide on our Superbowl menu AND what we will each do about the 'recession that is on its way'.  The economy is hot!  Wait a minute, many people believe that it is already here and here to stay and that only a selective few have lived without it.  These people who are now dealing with this are people whose lives have, what I call 'high class problems'- you know,  the I want to renew the country club membership but am not sure I can swing it because we only got 7,000 bonuses on our 100,000 annual salary job or the let's try to cut down on our 400. monthly dry cleaning bill by wearing sweaters twice or the I lost 289,000 on my 1.5 million dollar home.  People I know would ask, did it recession start the moment that gas cost more than $2.00 a gallon or was it when people bought groceries on their credit cards or when they chose to buy a bulk bottle of Ibprophen and call that their health insurance and decided not to renew their $419.00 a month COBRA payment from their unemployment check that was in the mail.  When did the 'recession' begin, good question.  All I know is that recession sounds like oppression and sometimes that is slow to arrive but always heavy to get off.

Brittney is not sleeping and buying Red Bull by the case as she drives sporadically around Hollywood in one of her many vehicles with one of her many paparazzi 'boyfriends'.  First let me say that I wake up everyday amazed that she has not killed herself yet, truly.  The Associated Press has already written her obit and the motorcade that brought her to the doctor today looked like that that followed Regans body around for the "Former President Ronald Regan Body On Tour Funeral' that went on for what felt like 2 weeks for me.  In any case, she is not dead but definitely is in trouble.  Just think back.  This is how the chronology goes in my head.  She has girl on girl kiss with Madonna (whose idea was this and was she a child at the time?)  Next stop she shaves her head and calls a press conference and the hairdresser that did it is the most sensible and sensitive and says something like she needs something she is not getting and thinks this is it, the endless sightings with all, I do mean all the little dogs (they are and have been so many, where do they go and who takes care of them?)  next- her chewed blue fingernails puffy clearly post hormonal denial interview with Matt Lauer that KFed is NOT living in the basement, then something about driving the kids without a car seat, she then looses custody of her children, colors her hair black and wears a splitting old wedding dress to the courthouse that she never makes it to, oh yeah-a suicide attempt, Dr. Phil and a pregnant sister, then Dr. Phil responding to his comments and standing concern and last nights 'motorcade psych eval'.  Gheesh!  Just this timeline takes about as much space as the rest of the world metaphorically and literally.  So Brittney, a purpose-less, sleepless, young mother of two without hope left with herself, the violent, stalking men around her and lighter fluid looking for a match please-BOOM!

Keith Ledger is dead, not sure people knew him by name when he was alive, I didn't really, but have started to fool myself into thinking I did.   Lots of medicine, in bottles, not stune, warm torso, footprints in the cement of his daughter Matilda.  Imagine that this is what I know about someone else I do not know.  He wasn't sleeping and taking medications.  Medication is drugs and drugs have side effects and side effects can kill you too, especially when not supervised, not sleeping and not near what you say is your only hope, your child. 

In conclusion, there are only a few things that I have figured out to DO about all of this.  I will call about being a Meals On Wheels volunteer for one hour a month and think you should too.  They say some of these folks; the person who brings the food is the only contact of the day.  That means that they are home watching all of this too.  How to make sense of it all at 40, let alone 89.  I will make low fat buffalo turkey burgers for the Superbowl.  I will do everything I can to stay and be healthy and live without health insurance and investigate a low cost mammogram if I am not able to get on in my other country of origin, Ireland in Feb.  I figured that the 279.- ticket was less than the 2,500 deductible and 50/50 copay.  I will drink water and sleep soundly and for at least 8 hours.  I will 'steady myself for the recession' and continue to bargain shop and use my 44.91 tank of gas wisely.  I will pray for Brittney's children, Keith's child and for the wisdom in those around them.  Most of all I will pray for me, my clarity, my thinking and my accomplishment of writing more than one page, today.

Putin catches a fish at Daddy's house in Kennebunport looking more jacked thank GW in his linen shirt.  Protesters gather at Walker's Point and try to look beyond the fence that hides Barbara in her pearls on her tricycle.

NPR reports that Army says they will take 40 year olds without high school diplomas if they want to be part of 'something greater than themselves'.  Greater how?  More catostophic or just bigger than any company they ever worked for.  What a workman's compensation claim life will be.  Oh right, the company is the government, it won't count.

The biggest bully of all, our President has pardoned the hitman who bullied her.   Grotesque.  It is final.  Our leader will do whatever he wants and without consequence.  He is leaving anyway in like 559 days anyway.......more than half of which will be vacation. 250+days of vacation on the books and I bet you he still won't catch a fish or learn how to ride a bike from his mom.  Afterall, it was just last summer while in Kennebunkport he fell off his bike and skinned his nose.  Now it is just blood on his hands and what I hope is a hard time falling a sleep in the summer breeze.

Happy Independance (in thinking) Day. 

Oh, and Dick, Cherry, Pop!

this is me loving you-

christine