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Ms. D'Fiant

Heather Hamilton


Last Updated: 5/25/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 33
Sign: Sagittarius

City: angel city
State: CALIFORNIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/26/2005

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Friday, November 14, 2008 

There has been nothing good about this week.

Work has sucked.  The other work has sucked. The paperwork for Nationals is just overwhelming.  Cokey smurf is back in rehab.  My mom had surgery.  Kaya has had irritable bowels that wake us up all night. I'm positive I'm pmsing.  One of my closest friends suffered one of those injuries that scares me the most.  And it just didn't help my catholic guilt that I pressured her in to practice that night.

About two nights ago I had a dream that wasn't terribly difficult to interpret.  At the start I was sitting in one of those large redwood trees on a branch.  There was no clear path down.  So, I started having fun and climbing the branches.  Up up up.  At the end I was exhausted, all my energy exerted and there was still no exit route available.  In the end, I bear hugged the tree and forced my eyes awake to the 5:00am display on the alarm.

Sometimes, there's just no clear exit strategy and you need to open your eyes.


Things are starting to turn around though.  Diesel used the retardation filter on photoshop and made me look pretty.  Tomorrow I will have the best seats to some of the finest derby in the country.  Saturday I get to scrimmage.  And on top of it all, I get to go to Portland!


 later bitches.

1:27 PM 
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Saturday, August 09, 2008 

What league do you belong to:
Angel City Derby Girls

What is your derby name:
Ms. D'fiant

How did you pick your name:


wife- i want to start a roller derby league

husband - please don't

wife -  i appreciate your opinion, but i'm still going to do it.

husband - why are you so damn defiant?


What is your number:
3D

How long have you been a derby girl:
3 years

Why did you become a derby girl:
what other choice was there?

What is the worst roller derby injury you have had:
dislocated rib.

What is your team's name:
The Shore Shots and The Hollywood Scarlets

What is your captains name:
Dolce Dolore, Ja'ass is Mine & Duchess Von Damn (depending on which team)

Are you going to Rollercon:
went.

How many bouts have you played in:
sixteen

What color are your wheels:
gray

Have you ever skated on a banked track:
sure have.

Did you like the show "Rollergirls":
N/A It was on a practice night before Tevo was affordable.

Do you have a roller derby tattoo:
why yes, but you wouldn't know it.  unless you knew.

Did you skate before you joined roller derby:
quite a bit

Have you ever been asked if roller deby involves a BALL:
it's happened.

Vitamin Water or Gatorade:
water.

Has derby ever given you a black eye:
I've had two black eyes and neither were from derby.

How many hobbies has derby replaced?
guitar.

What's better: sex or derby?
really depends on my mood.

Have you been asked for your autograph?
Once, by a vendor in Colordo.

What was your hardest game?
BAD Girls.

What was your favorite game?
I love playing RMRG.

What was your finest moment?
Managing the Savannah Derby Devils first game.

Who taught you what you know?
this is a potentially insulting question.

What is your favorite drill?
scrimmaging.

How do you feel about the off-season?
I believe it is a myth.

Who is your derby idol?
Bulletooth Tracy and I don't even know her.

Who do you most love playing with?
my team.

Who is your derby nemesis?
uhhhh...  well, I like standing across from Tara Armov if that's what you mean.

What is your biggest challenge?
endurance.

What are you working on?
snowplowing and actually stopping, cuz rolling with your legs spread out is not as much fun as it sounds.

What are you currently excited about?
dogs sleigh skating at the beach tonight

What's coming up for you?
Port City, watch out!

Do you have a plan to retire? When will you stop playing?
i'm planning a break in 2010 but I will return.

8:21 AM 
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Thursday, September 13, 2007 


Some days I wonder if I should bother writing the column any more because I get messages like this:

(no greeting)
As an avid reader of your column and a novice at computer know how, PLEASE,  I need detailed information on how to execute a procedure. Your article dated 6 September 2007 in the Savannah Morning News on how to reformat a hard drive, read in part - ((((To get to the device manager, right click on "My Computer." Click on the "Hardware" tab and select the "Device Manager" button))))

Should have read- To get to the device manager, right click on "My Computer." Click on "Properties" Click on the "Hardware" tab and select the "Device Manager" button.

What say tou?
 

Tai say - kiss my white radiated-from-sitting-in-front-of-a-machine-all-day ass.

fucktard.


Then there are the folks I want to help.


Ms.  Heather Hamilton

I   ENJOY  YOUR  ARTICLES  EACH THURSDAY.

I   HAD   A   PROGRAM   CALLED  "QUICK  TIME "  ON  MY  COMPUTER   I  TOOK
IT   OFF   BUT  MY   THUMB NAILS  ARE  STILL  COVERED.

HOW  DO  I  GET  MY  PIOTURES  BACK  AND   GET  RID  OF  THIS   PROGRAM ?

DAVID



you're adorable and I will help you. 
Thanks for restoring my faith today.
12:43 AM 
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Wednesday, September 05, 2007 

i lose at life.

this weekend i lost: my wallet, a cat, a bottle of tequila and brand new super expensive skates.

all have made their way back 'cept the skates.



i fail. 




5:04 AM 
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Thursday, July 26, 2007 
so... I'm going to fucking Rochester, NY this weekend.

i hate Ra Cha Cha

AND my friends are fucking lame and leaving Saturday afternoon.  My flight isn't until Sunday evening.  who plans a god damn Friday night wedding????


But...with my one free day and unlimited rental miles, I can do what I want.



and what do you want, Cayugagirl?


maybe this?


or

how about the spot you hike every night.  you know every step.





if the water gets high enough, go cliff jumping.   after all, living is over rated. ..



or the two rocks to the left, taunting you to try and not lie on them all day.

listening to the water fall.





go on


they dare ya.
1:54 PM 
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Sunday, June 17, 2007 

Current mood:  tired


I am fucking exhausted. 

This past week - worst of my career.
My Abuelita - recovering very well, thank you.
And Denver..  well, we got there.

My skates almost didn't as I'm far too concerned about everyone else that I seem to forget things I might need, like.. uh, skates.  Luckily, no one in the Denver airport was interested in thefting my dusty, heavy quads or I would've cried.  (serious)

Back to exhaustion, I think I'm more tired from the rock out dance party/closing the bar/drinking in high altitude than the game. 

Just kidding.  The game was awesome.  Denver really has their shit together and we learned a lot.  Altho, they did mention they could take a few lessons from us on roller dancing (especially amusing during ref time outs on the track.)  They found out later, they can also learn how to be camera whores.  ACDG - we are our own paparazzi. 

we're amazing.
(even tho we lost)


oh and from now on, please refer to me as Ms. MVP D'Fiant.


7:43 PM 
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Thursday, June 07, 2007 

My Abuela is 84 today. 

In six days she goes into surgery for breast cancer.

please send positive thougths.

thank you.



5:33 AM 
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007 
1. Amy Winehouse

The girl is a mess.  She's on the cover of the Rolling Stone and even though I often side with the protagonist in a story, I have zero empathy for this person.  Exhibit A:  before and after heroin, aka - please give this girl a cookie.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/07/winehouse270706_544x600.jpg

I get it.

Every generation needs a party song, but please more of this:




and less of that.

and PS, she owes Carrie Nations royalties.

2. Marina Del Rey - previously covered in disgusting detail.

3. Excessive FYIers.  You know who you are and it needs to stop.

4. Non-Smoking.  The whole movement.  Smoking is a good time.  I'm thinking of picking it back up again permanently.  Someone please explain to my spouse, k thx.

5. The time change between EST and PST.  I understand why, but to paraphrase my sister on the matter "This really isn't working for me."

It's a short list, but it's a start.
9:07 PM 
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Friday, May 11, 2007 

:::barefoot:::

 

and i am never ever coming out.

 

pls visit w/slippers it's cold in here.

 

thx.

1:01 AM 
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Thursday, April 05, 2007 
Lessons in parking lots -  It was the end of the work day.  In front of me is a man, talking on the phone with a black shirt and a pink 80s tie.  After a minute at the gate, he opens his car door and walks up to my window. 

(Phone still glued to his ear)

Pink 80's Tie - This is my last day at work and I was given a ticket.  I can't get out with it though.  Can I use your card to exit the parking lot?"

me - no.

P8T - But I can't get out.  Just let me use your ticket.

me - No.  It's one in, one out.  That's how it works.  (i was a parking professional.  I used to fix this shit.)

P8T - Well, what am I gonna do?

me - I don't know.  Figure it out.

P8T - FIGURE IT OUT?!?!  (politely excuses himself from his phone conversation.)  What do you mean figure it out?  If I can't get out, you can't get out.  You need to help me!

me - Look, go down the stairs and talk to the parking attendant.

P8T - What! walk?!?  NO WAY.  I am not walking anywhere, I...


...rolled up the window, looked straight ahead and turned up the radio.  Eventually, he went away.

This morning it occured to me that there is a lesson here.  I am rolling up the window on bad energy and will happily hum to myself like a five year old holding her ears. 

i can't hear you.



Currently listening:
Hunky Dory
By David Bowie
Release date: 28 September, 1999
11:36 PM 
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