AND YOU KNOW DIS HO HAS NEEDS! kay!?
So y'all have been on my ass to get out there and steal purses and punish you for the last year or so...I am working just about every damn night that I will be in yo dirty ass
city! You know I LOVES IT DIRTAYYYY!!!
I will be performing there October 15-20th.
Below is a listing of my gigs. I will need two fags or hags at each gig to circulate the audience with my cds and sell the damn thangs! You will be carrying fancy purses stocked with cds and change. You can dress the part of pimp or ho, or whatever you like! You will
get in free to the event and experience the benefits of VIP club HO LIFE...whatever that means;-) Actually, you'd just be helping a Ho out, and a Ho NEVER forgets!
So please message me, or shoot me an email at: wendytheho@gmail.com, if you are at all interested in helping me on any of the dates below!
..

Thursday October 16th
Performance time: sometime between 12:30-1am
Show: Mario's Big Fat Dick @ Fubar
Location: 7994 Santa Monica Blvd, LA, CA 90046
site: http://www.fubarla.com/

Friday October 17th
Performance time: sometime between 12:30-1am
Show: Shits and Giggles
Location: UPSTAIRS BALLROOM OF THE 740 CLUB: 740 SOUTH BROADWAY IN DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES ENTER THROUGH THE BACK ALLEY.
site: http://www.myspace.com/shitsandgigglesla

Saturday October 18th
Performance time: 12-12:30am
Show: Furr Trade @ Faultline
Location: 4216 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90029
(323) 660-0889
site: http://www.faultlinebar.com

Vidayos! 1st...there's a word for college kids that be dancin around in they dorm rooms like this, and that word is: HIGH.
Love you, kids!


There's a word for men who are so over the top macho that they be frontin masculinity SO HARD that it hurts...that word is: CLOSETED

Wendy Ho-The Special HoLympics
..

and finally...BUTT SEX.


Happy Hump Day!

OHHHH I BETCHOO NEVAH THOUGHT YOU’D SEE THE DAY THAT DIS HO WOULD GIVE OUT FREE SHIT, BUT TODAY IS THE DAY! MARCH 20TH--GIMME MY FREE DAY!!!
SO! Here you go chilrens:
you can download my newly added song, "Cocaine" FO free for the next 24 hours

make sure you give my disco anthem "2Nite Lady" a listen up, writing this song was a turning point in my healing as not only a HO..but a LADAY!

also RINGTONES, sucka! ring a ling a ling tones!!!!
go to my ringtone page on my website cuz myspace done disabled the myxertone button! here you go: RINGTONES

ENJOY!!!

Hey y’allz! Here’s several hot press clips from today!
I’m working with Tionna Smalls of TALK DAT ISH. She used to write an advice column for Gawker, and now she’s turning into a media mogul! And so of course...SHE HANDLIN DIS HO’S SHIT! Take a look at dis:
D-Listed
talk dat ish
crunk and disorderly
oh no they didn’t
a hot mess
Joe to Hell
all hip hop
The Red Eye
GirlCore
you think

AND
this fantastic interview on gay.com

yippeeeeeeeeee, faggots!

4 mo’ days till frisco where i won’t be usin no crisco, they asses is aleady lubed!
up next: RINGTONE LINK for all my chilrens!!!!!

who me? YES, You! GET INTO MY SHIT? WHO'S SHIT? MY SHIT!
DAT'S RIGHT,  FAGGOTS!!! Stick yo tip in my shit....I NEED IT!!!!!

3 CHANCES TO SEE MY ASS TOMORROW NIGHT!!!! Get on da HO train, come see all of em or one or two...don't even think about NONE, bitches...dis is the night in a life of a HO, fools...and  you ain'ts gonna wanna miss dis shit!

1 8PM AT JULIE GOLDMAN'S(from Logo's Big Gay Sketch Show) NEW SHOW--OFFENSIVE WOMEN SHOW @ The Slipper Room
if you wanna check this shit out--let me know I can get you a $5 ticket---instead of $10--there's NO DRINK MINIMUM for this show either!!! The line up is hilair too: Jessica Kirson, Irene Bremis, Ophira Eisenberg, Jackie Clarke & Julie Klausner, & Katie Halper--hosted by Julie Goldman. I will put you on the retard..I mean special list if you wants it for 5 bones! Email my ass and let me knows!
The Slipper Room is at: 167 Orchard Street, www.offensivewomen.com, www.slipperroom.com

2 9:30PM I'm heading over to RAPTURE CAFE & BOOKS for DEAN JOHNSON'S READING FOR FILTH! I'm reading and singing some nassy ass shit. You ain't never heard it like DIS before y'allz.  I'm talkin bout some Al Bundy ass Bitch treatin me like PEG. You might laugh at dis story..but it WASN'T NOT FUNNY, DAVID! Show starts at 8pm, I'll be heading over around 9:30! 200 AVE. A bw 12th & 13th Cost:FREE

3 1am...P TO THIS S..IT BE THURSDAY NOW...I am serving it up so you can SLURP it up at SLURP at THE COCK with LINDA SIMPSON! Dis is Linda's last night as yo hostess with the mostest at SLURP...this is NIGHTLIFE HISTORY, BITCHES! Let's send that lady off right!!!! I'm savin my big wad for that one right there!!!! 2nd Ave bw 1st and 2nd streets!

and yes...you heard right, I'm comin fo yo asses in San Fran next...YOU BETTA CHECK YOSELVES, BITCHES!!!!

I LOVE YOU. COME LET ME LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED..IN DAT NASSY "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS" WAY!!!

jizz on yo faces, and moist toilettes in yo nassy places!
XXX,
ho

Y'allz! I got a myspace shout out from my new friend George who is the hairstylist over at the Young and The Restless! He done tole me that all them bitches be singin Bitch I Stole Yo Purse over in they dressing room! Now, y'allz...this is a supreme  honor for me 1 cuz I used to watch this program or "story," as my Grandma liked to call it in the summertime when my parents would send me to their version of "fat camp," aka my Grandma's house. Grandma was sposed to make me eat better and exercise...but we ended up fagging out together with episodes of the Y & R, ice cream, and really RED LIPSTICK! We would sit in front of the tv after our morning house cleaning chores and scream obscenities at Jack Abbott (YOU'RE AN ASS!) and Jill Foster Abbot (SNEAKY BITCH!)and Katherine Chancellor (IRON MAIDEN!)  Victor Newman (STICK  YO DICK IN MY MOUTH!)--kidding on that last one, but this is where I learned that having a potty mouth was FUN, y'allz. I was a 10 year old little chubbette telling people that I wanted to be the president of Jabot cosmetics..well until Grandma showed me my first R rated movie, The Best Lil Whore House in Texas--then I wanted to have big boobs and a chicken ranch! I think you can see this inspiration of dramatic cosmetic flair AND tradin poon for chickens in my act. I only wish my Grams was around to see this today, but I'm SURE she's got a hand in this somehows!
these 2 bitches were always our FAVORITES...

I'M BACK FROM IRELAND, FAGGOTS....
Didju miss me? Cuz I missed you!!! Come see me tomorrow night at The Duplex, 9:30pm est--Danny Leary's show,  for more info go to: ON THE ROCKS
The Duplex is located in the heart of Greenwich Village at the corner of 7th Ave South and Christopher Street. Click here for detailed directions. Shows are held in the intimate Cabaret Theatre on the second floor.

Oh Ireland....it was just like the midwest except greener, drunker, mo' inbred, and mo' culturally starved, just like me hometown of  Kansas City...I could've swarn I was in Chubby's diner at 430am at one point, but no...I was in an Eddie Rocket's in Dublin....contemplating dining and ditching...and singing....I STOLE MY DINNER, BITCH!
I saw some amazing blues, some hilarious stand up comedy, lotsa people kidding themselves, and lotsa natural beauty...and no I 'm not talking about staring at my natural booty in the mirror! I'm talkin bout cliffs and water and mountains and green and shit. 
I also could've swarn I saw Kenny Rogers on a hiking trail in Wicklow, but turns out it was actually Loni Anderson. Oh so cute them Irish peeps...all thick and rough and tumble.  A lot of them resembled rugby players..I wouldn't have minded rubbin some of them Bs on my rug! o-KAY?

Of course nothing compares to coming home to NYC and having this in my mailbox:Dis was the best Valentine's present EVER, girl! THANK YOU!!! CLICK IT!

The drag queen Jazzmun be doin it RIGHT.

Aweright...you know I loves you...now I gotsa go clean my coochie.
Come see me tomorrow night at the Gayplex!

xoxox,
Ho

Thanks again to all who showed up at Vlada this past Tuesday I had a BLAST witchall! The next Wendy Ho Show is February 26th, 10:30pm at Vlada!!
Also I am still running my cd sale!!! If you want cds by VD, then order now! I will be shipping until the Tuesday the 12th, after that I'm out of town until February 20th for my own VD celebration!
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO HO IS NOW ONLY $10.00
****In honor of Black History Month and VD, my album is now on sale for $10--this price includes shipping AND a swatch of my panties! CLICK HERE, and then click BUY NOW on the page!! This album is the best Valentine's Gift you could ever get that someone special--put on track number 10 and just SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!! TRUST, YO MAMA GONNA LOVE DIS ALBUM TOO! WE ALL DESERVE TO GET PAID AND LAID ON VALENTINE'S DAY! THIS ALBUM MAKES THAT POSSIBLE!!****