To those of you reading this, you probly already know that I've been going through a really hard time right now.  I've been so depressed lately and I've been struggling so much.  But everynight, I've been praying and praying.  I've been talking to God a lot lately and I've been putting my complete trust in him.  Basically saying, that things right now are so bad.  But I've been putting my faith and trust in God and I've been saying that I know the pain I feel right now is horrible, but I know that You (God) will get me through it and I know he has an amazing plan for me in the future.
And to those of you who don't know why I'm depressed, let's just say it involves two people and I won't go into details.  But I've been praying constantly, keeping positive and just being the better man.


And today God showed me a true miracle.
He showed me that even in the hardest and coldest of times, if you put complete faith and trust in Him, He will bless you with a miracle in the darkest of times.

I won't exactly say what the miracle was but it involves my family.
I love my family with all my heart and they have really been cheering me up and keeping my spirits up, and I'm so glad God blessed me with such a supportive and loving family.
I will continue to put complete trust in God and I know that he will continue to bless me.


P.S.
I'm heading to Massachusetts next month :)

Lets go back to the early 80s. A time of punk rock and its death from the public eye. Here in North America punk moved underground. The early punk scene was filled with kids who felt betrayed by society. Naturally there was a sense of nihilism that came with such a scene. Among some of the punks this nihilistic view seemed like pantomime. Ian MacKaye and Jeff Nelson were two of these punks. They were in a band named Minor Threat, based out of Washington D.C. One day while making a flyer for a show their band was to play, Jeff made a comparison between the lifestyle they lived and the ruler or straight edge they were using to make the flyer. A movement was born.



The tenets of the movement were very basic. People who called themselves Straight Edge abstained from drugs, drinking, and smoking so as to keep their minds clean and grow apart from this nihilism that was plaguing their scene. At the time shows were usually held in bars that would mark the hands of underage kids with an X to show they were not to be served alcohol. Eventually the Straight Edge kids began to show up at the shows already Xd up regardless of age so as to say, Im Straight Edge dont bother offering me alcohol, The scene these kids (both straight edge and not) were involved in was called Hardcore. Hardcore was more aggressive than typical punk, bands that were disillusioned with the society offered to them. Hardcore localities were also abbreviated with an X, such as NXY for New York Hardcore. Straight Edge Hardcore became abbreviated as XXX and was later adopted by the Straight Edge community as its insignia of sorts. Rallied they had their movement and now it was just a matter of time for the movement to grow to become what it is today.



In the early days of Straight Edge there was no real scene. Just a few bands that were spreading the same message, Minor Threat in Washington D.C. and SSD and DYS in Boston. It wasnt until several years later that bands like Youth of Today and Judge came along and really brought the kids together. Ray Cappo of Youth of Today was a man who preached the tenets of Straight Edge as well as that of veganism, and this was one of the first times that the two were put together. With more bands exposing kids to Straight Edge the movement grew. Abstinence from casual sex was added on as one of the accepted tenets of straight edge when Christian and Krishna movements became involved in Straight Edge. The positive youth movement was in full swing by the late 80s.



Because so many kids who claimed Straight Edge were also vegetarians and vegans it became inevitably linked to Straight Edge. The link between the two was so obvious to others that they would herald that if you werent vegetarian or vegan then you werent Straight Edge. Of course a lot of these self proclaimed, Know it alls were not even Straight Edge to begin with. This spread a lot of confusion that still rings in our ears today well more than a decade after the two became connected.



Another point brought up by the non-Straight Edge know it alls was that of OTCs or over the counter medicines, things like Tylenol and Aspirin. Because the basic tenets of Straight Edge were so vague these people believed that even medicine fell into the realm of what is and isnt Straight Edge because they were drugs. In fact medicine falls nowhere in the realm of the Straight Edge mentality. Though some do abstain for similar reasons the two are in no way related.



Caffeine, yet another and possibly the most touchy, gray area in Straight Edge. The key to this hurtle, as all others is sensibility. People dont kill for a cup of coffee in the morning; they dont rob houses at night so they can get their caffeine fix in the morning. They dont drink a cup of coffee and then wrap their car around a pole or another car and kill innocent people on the road because their driving was impaired. The fact is caffeine is not good for you but to claim it is the equal of other social evils like tobacco or alcohol is absurd.



Mouthwash is yet another touchy subject. The vagueness of the initial tenets of Straight Edge never stated anything about different alcohols, just alcohol in general. Isopropanol is very different from its cousin ethanol. Ethanol is nonfatal when drank in small amounts unlike isopropanol. Though drinking isopropanol is not smart it has nothing to do with Straight Edge. More so, look at the reasons for using a product. Ethanol is used to drink as a means to an end and that end is inebriation. Isopropanol is used mostly to disinfect wounds.



Now as we get into the kids that make the best of lifestyles look like an angry militant mob and the ones that make us all look like hippy tree huggers. There will always be kids that go to parties and knock over peoples drinks and look for fights, these kids were undoubtedly assholes long before they ever put an X on their hand. Yet at the other end of the spectrum there are kids that are so caught up in being positive that the movement never progresses. Ideally it takes being slightly positive and slightly militant and the knowledge to know when to be which. The concept of staying positive in the face of adversity but standing up for your beliefs when they are threatened is something that will always be lost to some.



Now there are quite a few kids that are Straight Edge Purists. These kids will tell you that you must listen to hardcore in order to be Straight Edge. This view is inevitably flawed, because the first kids that claimed Straight Edge didnt listen to hardcore because there was no such genre. Straight Edge was initially a punk counter-culture. Now a days you will find Straight Edge groups that write hardcore, metal, punk and even rap. These groups throw a wrench in the view of such purists. Though knowing the roots and history of the movement is essential to claiming Straight Edge, listening to hardcore is not required; there is no soundtrack to the movement in the form of a single genre.



Hard-line is something that I will touch on very briefly only to separate it from Straight Edge. Hard-line is an extreme form of veganism, which includes beliefs in use of sex as a means of procreation only, they are anti-porn and anti-masturbation. They are environmentalists and naturalists. They are not all Straight Edge though many are.



Although Straight Edge is something that is said to be taken to the grave once claimed many people fall off or break edge and for those that do the scene is unforgiving at best. Many of these edge breakers do so when they come of age to drink, enter collage or break up with a significant other that was Straight Edge. Sometimes kids break edge when they realize that Straight Edge is not a way to win friends or that is it cooler to smoke and listen to indie rock. Not all is lost because there are some that hold true to what they believe and remain Straight Edge their entire lives, and they remain as an example to the younger kids to stay strong and never sell out.



Here is where I get to where I believe Straight Edge is going in the future. At the moment with the kissing cousins of hardcore in the spotlight it is somewhat a trend to call yourself Straight Edge. So obviously when the medias eye turns to something else many kids will drop off and jump on the next trend. This will alienate many of the true believers of Straight Edge making the older ones more jades to the new comers and detour a lot younger kids from claiming. Straight Edge as with all counter-cultures will go back in forth in this fashion until it is either forgotten or the world ends.