"Why aren't you working in a film company out in LA or New York?" Or another variation: "Why aren't you pursuing film as a career?"

 

It's a very good question, seeing how I put so much time, effort, and money into a degree which I don't regret getting for a single moment. When I first entered the film program, I, like most other freshman, wanted to direct films and make a significant contribution to the film industry (and our wallets) like Spielberg or Tarantino. But as I progressed through the program, my goals changed. Directing is a lot of fun, and requires the most creative control on a production (to be clear - you're leading and motivating the creative aspect of the film, not being a control freak). I also met some amazing professors who really contributed to my growth as a person and film student. So now, instead of directing films, I'd much rather like to write them, and write about them. My professional goal is to be a screenwriter and a film professor with a doctorate in film and media studies.

 

Going back to the original question, I am pursuing film as a career, but not in the same way as many of my dear friends that went to the same program as I. To be sure, writing screenplays and teaching film to a college audience requires different choices than editing or directing film and television projects. When it comes to writing, there are those that prefer to be a full-time, sit-in-front-of-the-computer-for-12-hours-a-day writer, which is awesome, but I just don't function that way. Instead, I like to devote 8 to 12 hours of my day to a full-time job that I enjoy, then come home and add to my writing little by little. Writing a 90 to 110-page screenplay can be a very frightening and difficult task, and I find it much less so by tackling it one page at a time. In regards to the teaching career, I've taken my first baby step towards it by writing an academic analysis on horror films that will be presented at the University Film and Video Association's annual conference in August (check out the organization and the conference details at www.ufva.org). Rather than rush right into a Master's degree, I'm opting to use the next three to five years as time to grow as an adult and get to understand the world around me.

 

The second part of the initial question asks "why not LA or New York?" While both places offer a multitude of opportunities for a film graduate, neither holds the same level of promise and potential as Philadelphia. I was born and raised in Southwest Philly for five years and then moved with my family to the suburbs when my parents opened a law office. Aside for the occasional trip to South Street or visit to a friend that lived in the city, I had few opportunities to see the city with my own eyes, rather than through the opinionated eyes of others. Attending Temple University in 2003 helps reacquaint me, and I've been in love ever since.

 

Behind Los Angeles and New York, Philadelphia ranks 3rd on the list of biggest film industry cities in the United States. We are, after all, the land that made running up the Art Museum steps a must for any tourist. We also boast a director who has done more to improve and bolster the image of Philadelphia as a sophisticated film city than any other before him. I speak of M. Night Shyamalan, whose next film, The Happening, will be shooting in and around the city from August to October. The city is also home to the Philadelphia Film Festival, the Philadelphia Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and countless competitions and contests for the novice or the master filmmaker. Thanks to our city's knowledgeable and sophisticated film office, the Greater Philadelphia Film Office (www.film.org), we have the opportunity to get more productions to film their projects here. We offer tax incentives, and there is currently a bill being considered in Harrisburg which would allot more grant money for production companies that choose to film their films and television episodes in the city.

 

I can't and won't deny the heightened murder rate in my hometown, and while it's tempting to blame the current city leaders for this, I think that would be unnecessary. Blame doesn't give way to a solution. The sad truth is that the more crowded the living conditions are, the more likely there is to be violence. Tensions run high when history, ethnicity, experience, and distrust clash together. There's also the matter of gun laws - the Brady Gun Laws were not renewed in their entirety when they expired a few years ago, meaning that now anyone can get their hands on weapons, from a hand pistol to an AK-47. If more attention was given to gun laws, and more money allotted for after school programs and employment training programs, I'm confident that the murder rate would drop tremendously. I can speak from experience when I say that is very depressing and frustrating when you put so much effort into applying for jobs and acquiring the skills needed to perform those jobs, and in the end, you still face rejection.

 

Like my city, I am in a state of transition. New skills, new clothes, new outlook, new opportunities - this is what encourages me to keep moving forward. And since my city is making the effort to move forward too, it would be incredibly ungrateful to jump ship now, when exciting things are happening. Since this is the city that gave us the screenwriter behind Se7en and Sleepy Hollow, the co-author of Alternative Scriptwriting, and writer/director of The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, I owe it to myself to continue this fine film heritage and bring more positive attention and accolades to Philadelphia.

 

In the meantime, I urge all of you to check out these websites:

 

www.gophila.org

I came across this line in the course of my research for horror films released during the Vietnam War and the current Iraq War. It was in reference to a collection of films collectively known as 11' 9' 01, which featured short films from filmmakers around the globe.

 

I'm inclined to agree. Bet ya didn't see that one coming, huh? If you've been keeping up with my writing, you'll know I'm either really in support of an ideal or really against an ideal. In this case, I agree with the statement because most religions (not all, sadly) call for the preservation of love and peace. In the faith I was brought up in, the main message came from Jesus Christ, who said "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." The statement has been refined and redelivered in a multitude of ways, from the Golden Rule ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you") to Thumper's infamous "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all" line from Disney's Bambi. Why the members of one faith or a collection of faiths would want to do harm to the people who honestly believe and practice Christ's message boggles me.

 

The problem with Holy Wars, and even people who commit murder and acts of mayhem in the name of their faith, is that they do more to stagnate and set back the progress of their fellow followers, rather than help the cause. Take the recent incidents in Britain. The perpetrators of the car bomb that crashed into Glasgow's airport and the failed car bombs in and around London were Muslims who also happened to be successful doctors. If you're thinking about moving to London, as I once did, to escape the problems of the U.S., think again. The Muslim population of England live in the same way African Americans did in the 1950s and 1960s - amidst devastating conditions brought on by racism. Sadly, that condition exists even today. Not just for blacks in this country, but for Muslim men and women across the pond. So, as a reaction to these conditions and continued injustice to the population in London and abroad, these Muslim doctors got together and hatched a plot to get their voices heard and deliver a blow to the "Great Satan" that is Western Culture.

 

Now the problems will multiply, thanks to the stupidity of these individuals. I understand they want better lives for themselves, their families, and other Muslims, but by perpetrating acts of violence does more damage to their cause. For starters, there will be even greater scrutiny for any Muslim med students who want to become doctors in Britain, and perhaps all doctors who are Muslims both in England and in America. Because these individuals were doctors - respected members of the community, who gained the trust and respect of people around them and rose above the ranks of their disenfranchised fellow followers - a great amount of fear and distrust towards any Muslim, successful and prosperous or middle class and hardworking, has been ignited. I can bet you anything that attacks against these poor people will get worse, because people of any society, past and present, try to cope with their fears and frustrations using violence against the people that they believe caused it.

 

Beyond the actual group of people that perpetrates acts of violence in the name of a Holy War, the religions themselves, and all the great and beautiful things they represent, are reduced to meaningless words and rituals. If one person hurts another, and happens to be a member of a certain faith, then, as mob mentality goes, all people of that faith are bad and must be destroyed. That is ridiculous. I repeat - IT'S RIDICULOUS! I read somewhere once that to define the religion of Islam by Osama bin Laden and his followers is like defining all of Christianity by people like Jerry Falwell. One bad apple does not make all apples bad.

 

Another good line: "Nature is what we were put on this Earth to rise above." It's a line from The African Queen (check it out - it's a great film), but it's relevant here. Religions offer us a chance to rise above our reactionary natures and, using the scriptures of our faith, see the world and its people as humans. Flawed, frightened, funny, lustful - humans are all these things. Education, religion, and patience bring us closer to the beings we deserve to be. Fighting wars in the name of sacred religions or people pull us back into a long-lasting era of primitivity.

 

How come we haven't found our happiness, or even created it? We've been too busy manufacturing weapons to fight our Holy Wars.

I won't deny it - I love the opposite sex. Since the age of 3 or 4, every living moment has been consumed with passion for members of the male population. The earliest known instance came when I was in preschool, when I refused to let my mother take me to a hairdresser because one of my male classmates made it clear that he liked "long hair" on girls.

 

By first grade, I was ready for marriage. On a dreary day in March, wearing my best raincoat and armed with a marital contract (five or six squiggly lines on a piece of paper), I approached Mike Z. and informed him of my decision. In so many words, I told him "Sign the contract and marry me or else." The next day, we celebrated with TastyKakes and paper flowers. Of course by June, we separated and moved on to new crushes. I never actually drew up a divorce contract for my failed prepubescent marriage, but unless Mike finds a skilled squiggly line translator, I think I'm in the clear.

 

It wasn't until college that I fell in love for the first time...to a controlling, self-loathing, scruffy-looking man. Well, scratch the scruffy-looking part. He did let his looks go when he was working on major projects, which he seemed to be engaged in every other week. He preferred to place his art above looks and love. I'm sure my stubbornness and ceaseless nagging played a role in our never wanting to look eachother in the eyes again, too.

 

Now, almost two months after my college career has ended, I'm faced with a crush dry spell. Some people lose their interest in love and crushes for a short period of time, in grade school or even high school. Me? It's been a constant flow of crushes in and out, although my actual dating life was never quite as active as that of the people around me (my active imagination was another story). So as you can well imagine, this sudden lack of men worthy of being lusted after is quite new to me. I shouldn't be complaining, because I've been so lucky as to have this positive energy towards men for almost two decades. But it makes me wonder - would I be able to cope if this lasted awhile?

 

Then I think of my hero, Elizabeth I of England. Although she adored and was adored by men, she was bound to her "marriage" to England, and vowed to remain a virgin until the day she died. It would be absurd to think that she didn't lust after men, and there have been rumors that she engaged in activities with her favorite male friends that defied her virgin status. But the fact that she gave up marital love and children still blows my mind. It doesn't matter how many people you're surrounded by as a public figure or leader, because at the end of the day, nothing can compare to having that one, special person who keeps all secrets and remains loyal and motivates you to do the same. Even more interesting is the fact that, despite the constant pressure from her own Parliament and world leaders, she refused to budge on the marriage stance. And before we go into those channels, I'll be the first to refute any claim that she was a lesbian. Although I and millions of other people wholeheartedly support gays and lesbians, in the 1500s, it was not an acceptable lifestyle, and Elizabeth's solid devotion to her Protestant faith would have condemned any form of same sex relationships or yearnings. So she faced her royal frontier alone, for a reign that would last nearly 45 years.

 

I've come a long way in my 18-year career as a love bird. And I'm sure I'll go longer still. But I've learned that sometimes, love isn't worth the paper it's printed on. Sure, I still want to get married and raise a pug or two with my man, but perhaps I'll wait until I'm 50. For good measure. My potential husband and I should be mature enough by then.

Unless you've been living under a rock or a super oppressive regime, it's no secret that iPhone fever is sweeping the nation one Apple store at a time. For $600, anyone can have a phone-mp3 player-internet-video-combo in the palm of their hand. You heard me right - for an astronomical amount of money which could possibly feed thousands of people in a Third World country for weeks, you can watch online movies on a screen 100 times smaller than a normal computer screen, listen to music that would sound 100 times better on a stereo, and talk on a medium that will no doubt become 100 times more annoying and dangerous for drivers and pedestrians alike in the coming months.

 

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

 

It's bad enough that news footage of lazy, overweight Americans who waited in line for days is being broadcast on international news shows across the world as we speak. The only thing more insulting would be for an elected public figure to get caught up in the hysteria.

 

Enter John Street, the mayor of my hometown, which happens to be a haven for corruption and rising murder rates, who just this morning was photographed waiting in line to purchase his own iPhone at the Philadelphia Apple Store. Apparently, Street left shortly after a passerby commented that it was odd to see the mayor of a dangerous city waiting in line when he should be working with his government to improve that problem. It's bad enough that Street drew up legislation this year to mark March 20th forever more as 'Perfect Stranger' Day, for a Halle Berry film that was so bad people in the theater actually laughed at the surprise ending. Now, he sees fit to use his taxpayer-funded time to buy a product which he deems will be used to "better manage" his time. John, we all know what you're gonna use your phone for, and it's the same thing you used the old cell phone for: calling your buddies when the police are hot on their tails.

 

I may be a flawed human being like the other 5,999,999,999 people in this world, but have we really stooped to a level where we have more enthusiasm for the latest Apple product than we do for voting in key elections or volunteering for good causes? Just think about it - if Americans used the $600 iPhone asking price to renovate an underfunded school in their neighborhood or buy air conditioners for elderly men and women who can't afford them or even buy one poor child a school lunch for every day of the school year, so much would be accomplished. If waiting three days in line for the privilege of shelling out $600 of your hard-earned cash is supposed to be one of the highlights of your life, then it's a wasted life. Can an iPhone fly you over the Atlantic to see Paris? Can an iPhone perform life-saving surgery? Can an iPhone give a little girl in Darfur a home or protection from the rapists and murderers that are waiting outside her refugee camp?

 

We really need to wake up as a country. People are dying from roadside bombs in a land millions of miles away in 140 degree heat. A genocide is going on a few thousand miles away from that. Fundamentalist men and women mean to harm anyone claiming American citizenship and heritage. And what is it that matters most to us Americans in this time of terror and uncertainty?

 

A $600 cellphone and a spoiled ex-convict.

As I sipped my morning cup of tea, I stumbled upon a blog from my favorite writer/comedian in the whole wide world, Mo Rocca (http://newsbloggers.aol.com/bloggers/mo-rocca/). A former correspondent from the Daily Show, Mo still seeks to acknowledge and draw out the humor in important issues in contemporary American society. Today, Mo discussed a recent New York Times article that discusses a recent study's findings in regard to young Americans and their faith in the Iraq War. Of course, I put in my two cents, and then went about my business.

 

This evening, I returned to the blog to see what others had written about the article. What I've always found fascinating about online reader commentaries is a) how little they have to do with the article and b) how quickly the battle lines are drawn. In less than ten replies to Mo's article, writers were using less than appropriate language, talking about gay rights, and how people who receive welfare are lazy (which just isn't true - most people use it to supplement their income because the current minimum wage just doesn't cut it). As the comments became more brutal and directed at specific people, the one image that stuck in my mind was that of Darth Vader in the original Star Wars, when he used his ever mind power to choke a man from across the room, and grimly told the helpless man "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

 

Maybe the same image is on the minds of the President's cabinet members when it's time for a cabinet meeting.

 

I have a profound amount of respect for the institution that allows for the exchange of free, uncensored discourse in this country, in print or in person, but I'm conflicted by situations where I just don't agree with or particularly like the other person's point of view. I think people of the same gender should be allowed to love freely and share that love with a same sex partner and children. I'm not fond of abortion, but I'll leave that choice up to women who have it far worse than I do. I don't like wars or the uncertainty that comes with them, but I need to gather as much information as I can to educate myself about them, because it's a lot more complicated than being pro- or anti-anything. I don't agree that gay people are evil or inhuman, and I find organizations like the KKK repugnant.

 

But at the end of the day, I can't have it both ways: I can either love and respect the law that allows for free discourse, or support a law that censors people that are "wrong." Yet the definition of "wrong" is constantly evolving, and what is right today could be deemed dangerous and wrong in time. And it depends on whose head you're in - in my head, members of the KKK and anyone who openly seeks to cause harm to a group of people on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation is wrong. To those kinds of people, it is I who is in the wrong.

 

Whether you agree with a person's point of view or not, my best bit of advice is to refrain from using vulgar language or hateful words as a means to reply to their views. You really can't change people's views, no matter how much you debate them, and if things escalate too much, you run the risk of hurting the wrong person, not to mention making yourself look just as bad as the person you deem "wrong."

With all due respect to my mentor, who received a degree from AFI, I'm not particularly impressed with the recent list. For starters, there were very few films featuring (notable) performances from black actors, and I'm pretty sure that the only reason they hired Morgan Freeman to host this silly TV special was for the purpose of covering up those glaring omissions. I could hear the folks at AFI pat themselves on the back all the way here in Philadelphia.

 

Besides the presence of blacks, Hispanics, and women on-screen, my biggest question was WHERE ARE THE OTHER DIRECTORS? Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing comes in all the way at #96. That and The Sixth Sense at #89 are it for your non-white directors. There are no films by Penny Marshall, Ida Lupino, Dororthy Arzner, Jodi Foster, Sally Potter, Julie Dash, Cheryl Dunye, Lizzie Borden or the countless other female directors, past or present, on this "new and contemporary" list.

 

It is a joke to call this list "representative" or "complete" when it comes to the American film canon, especially when there are zero women filmmakers, two filmmakers of color (M. Night Shyamalan and Spike Lee), and is, let's face it, obviously a group of films chosen by an all-male jury. Of the top ten "greatest films of all time", only one features a female lead character. And Scarlett O'Hara doesn't strike me as a strong, venerable lead character. A list like this belongs on Spike TV or ESPN, not on CBS or any network that markets itself to people of all ages and walks of life.

 

As disgusted as I am, I also remain hopeful. It took two hundred years for the American literary canon to branch out to include works from Native American, African American, and Latino writers. It will probably take just as long for films like Orlando or any of Guillermo Del Toro's films to be included on the list, for the same reason - the decision of what stays and what stays out of the canon was left up to "learned" white men. A true canon takes work, and by including films that feature the same directors of the same race over and over again is, frankly, quite lazy. You can't learn about the world by reading it in a book or looking it up on the Internet: you've got to get out there and see it with your own eyes. The same concept applies to motion pictures. If you continue to accept the same, narrow-minded view of what a good American movie is, you'll miss out on the ones that could change your life or blow open the door to new canonical possibilities.

 

Besides, any list that forgets to include Alien, Edward Scissorhands, Winnie the Pooh, Night of the Living Dead, Born in Flames, or Bull Durham is not worthy of the hype that goes into it.

I, like millions of Americans, am a member of Facebook, an addictive, interactive social utility website that allows current friends and old classmates to keep in touch without ever having to speak to one another in person. Although I'm conflicted by the idea of keeping in touch with friends and classmates without contacting them on the phone or seeing them in person, I'm nonetheless a frequent visitor to the site.

In particular, I enjoy reading the messages on an individual user's Wall. The Wall is a user's public message board, where friends of the user can write notes of indeterminable length. Now, the whole world (and potential employers) can see your best friend tell you "I love you," or "I had fun smoking pot with you last night."

Explaining the messages to an employer aside, there's been an increasingly present trend on the message boards that could not only hurt a person's feelings, but be misinterpreted by others. In the post-9/11 world, where everyone is being watched closely, interpretation can be costly.

Case in point: I was reading the message board of my friend Casey (not her real name), and a friend made this comment, in reference to something she'd written on her profile:

Are you really? Is it mine? Cause you know how my grandparents feel about biracial children. I think it might just be better if you accidentally fall down some stairs stomach first. No abortion, though. My family is catholic.

Having known both the people involved in these exchange, of course I knew it was all a joke. She wasn't pregnant, he wasn't the father - it was all in good fun. We may share a good laugh over this message, but if it appeared on the computer screens of the wrong people, like parents or relatives, the message could be interpreted as insensitive, racist, and appalling.

It's not uncommon for Facebook users to leave messages that, if taken at their word, are sexist, racist, threatening, explicit, or downright mean. Granted, Facebook is nothing more than an electronic version of the grade school classroom. Everyone has their cliques, note-passing is common, you know who your friends are, and you're a member of various extracurricular groups. The only difference is how accessible other people are to YOUR business. Before Facebook, keeping your parents in the dark was easy. Now, your parents, along with millions of Internet users, including pedophiles, rapists, murderers, and other colorful individuals, can find out everything they want to know about you with the click of a mouse button.

The culture of mean has been around for generations - friends have always teased their friends or given them less-than-savory notes or nicknames. Facebook just makes the culture more visible and viewable to anyone in cyberspace. But why do we engage and participate in the culture? What do we gain by playfully calling our friend a "slut"? And how does it improve our image in the eyes of an employer if they read that we like giving "birthday blowjobs," even if we make such a comment in jest?

It's not fair that we're judged base on the things we write on the Internet, or that those things, once uploaded, can never be removed, but that's life. There are no rules for how a person should format their Facebook or MySpace user account, but as a general rule of thumb, I try not to write/publish anything that I wouldn't want my family to read.

Another suggestion would be to get two accounts on different social utility websites, like one on Facebook, and one on MySpace. By designating one account a "professional" account, utilizing it as a site to post your resume or your work, you could use the second account as a strictly nonsense account, where you can write silly messages on friends' walls until you're blue in the face.

Lastly, it's a good idea to Google your name once in a while to see what kind of results pop up. It's a good way to keep your online behavior in check, and it also helps you see yourself through the eyes of an employer, because it's no secret that more employers use websites like Google and Yahoo! to do research on current or prospective employees. Granted, employers are human beings too, and probably know that most of the time, employees write silly messages on their friends' profile that are meant to be taken as jokes. As long as the joke is kept in secure boundaries, it won't take on a life of its own and spell out trouble later on.

The economy is failing, the president is destroying the nation's status in the world, the violence in cities like Philadelphia is escalating, and real news is being neglected in favor of a spoiled brat who cried wee, wee, wee all the way to jail.

Yeah, it's hard to stay positive. But I can't take all this negativity anymore. I need a healthy, happy approach to life. Which brings us to the following list of ways I'm trying to stay positive and enjoy my life.

Watch a TV show or movie that REALLY makes you laugh. For me, it's Scrubs, and thankfully there are reruns of the show every day on Comedy Central. It's a nice break from hours of submitting resumes and cover letters, and laughter is good for blood circulation, too.

Drink lots of water and one cup of your favorite drink every day. Water helps your kidneys out with all that processing and helps the other systems of the body out too. So drink 8 to 10 glasses of water over the course of the day, then reward yourself with a drink that makes it all worthwhile. For me, it's Snapple. But money's too tight for Snapple these days, so my substitute is chocolate milk.

Make peace with cancer. This one sounds negative, which it partially is. But the reason I bring it up is because for years, I was terrified of getting cancer, because I lost a parent to melanoma (skin cancer) when I was a kid. Yet as more studies come out that link cancer to UV rays, red meat, sugar, seatbelts, computer screens, and watching Paris Hilton coverage on the major news channels, I still ask the same question - what's the point of living a life if all you're doing is avoiding every possible human activity out of fear that it could cause cancer? I say screw it. Do the basic things to stay alive - eat well, get adequate sleep, and breathe often, but don't worry so much. A lot of people die of cancer, but not all of them. Assume you're not one of them and get out there and enjoy your life. And wear lots of sunscreen when you do.

Don't feel bad about your dress/pant/shirt size. Not everyone is or was meant to be a size zero, and personally, I consider it blatant discrimination when clothing companies charge more money for bigger sizes in clothes. Although I'm not a practicing Catholic, I do believe we are all made in the image of a being that is beautiful and good. That's not to say we should abandon exercise and good eating practices, but we should be more accepting of how we are built. Our friends and family love us for our character and want what's best for us, yet they don't (and should not) try to change us. And to the clothing companies - you might want to change that price difference soon. Lawsuits on the basis of discrimination are not good for the company's "image".

Smile. Do it early, do it often. Do it right now. Go ahead, give it a try. I'll wait.

Accept invitations to social gatherings. Typically, when a person stops attending social get-togethers and other events, it can be an indication that that person is depressed. When you cut off connections to the outside world, it will make things worse, not better. Actually, I've known people who met their spouses because they went out to a party or a bar, even though they were down and just wanted to go home. Just goes to show that you never know who you might miss. So put on your best outfit and get out there with your friends, and make new ones, if you can.

Don't worry. Walt Disney once said "Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, worrying won't make it any better." If you've made the effort, did all the research, took all the necessary steps, and genuinely invested yourself in it, don't worry. Whether it's a job opportunity or a new relationship, it takes two to make progress, and you can only take your effort so far. It's up to the other person to make a decision. And if they decide against you, don't worry about that, either. They weren't the right fit, anyway.

It's no secret by now that young Hollywood is speeding towards disaster. Paris Hilton is set to begin serving her 25 to 45-day jail sentence for driving (drunk) on a suspended license, Lindsay Lohan is in rehab after driving drunk and being photographed snorting coke in a London nightclub bathroom, Nicole Richie was cited for DUI, and the list goes on. It's scary to think that these are the women who are considered important and beautiful. I'm sure they all are nice people when you take the drugs, alcohol, sex, and eating disorders away. And since they are constantly being photographed in tabloids as well as movies, TV shows, and advertising, they are visible to young women and girls, meaning they can be utilized as role models.

Having grown up with a drug/alcohol/sex-addicted sibling, I testify that it is no picnic living with or attempting to love a person and their demons. Promises are broken, feelings are hurt, and hundreds of dollars are stolen (either by the person or for the person for failed trips to rehab). Yes, if you go to rehab with the intention of playing everyone until you get out, you are STEALING from the people who loved you enough to pay for it. At the culmination of this period of reckless behavior, said sibling broke into house after she had been told to leave a day earlier and stole my 2004 Mac Powerbook laptop, taking not only an expensive piece of hardware, but also the countless poems, stories, and scripts that I invested so many hours in. To this day, my sibling denies any wrongdoing, despite the fact that there was no forced entry into the house, and all windows and doors were locked.

Such is the way of the addict, and it's important to emphasize that there are steps that can be taken to prevent a young person from falling into this lifestyle. For starters, the parents should be parents. Translation: don't brush off wild behavior by saying "She's just a teenager -  it will pass," and absolutely do not go clubbing or partying with your child. Ask where your teen is, who they'll be with, and get phone numbers of where they are going, and set boundaries. Let them have a little fun and room to explore themselves, but set a time for them to be back at the house and maybe a time when they should call you to check in to let you know she is okay. And if she doesn't hold up her end of the bargain, carry out the pre-discussed punishment. Parents should set up a punishment in advance - it's seems unfair if they spring something out of nowhere, and it makes a child want to rebel more. It might not seem like it, but kids need their parents most of all when they are adolescents. So it's important to be extra-careful of showing support but at the same time not encouraging a teen to put more distance between herself and her parents.

If a teen is already an addict, parents should seek advice from licensed professional about the next move. Sometimes, it is a matter of cutting the kid off. It sounds harsh, but by allowing a teen who lies to your face, steals your money, and takes all the good things in her life for granted, you are validating her behavior. As for rehab, you can't force or guilt anyone into going. They have to be ready to make the commitment to getting better, and that's easier said than done. Few people make it beyond detox - they are so traumatized by the process of getting all the drugs out of their bodies that they opt to keep using so that it never happens again. As for interventions, I won't say they shouldn't be used, but I think it really depends on the person the intervention is for. We used them, and in the end, my sibling didn't heed any of the words s/he were told. Even now, I can't say for sure that s/he will fall back into that pattern again or not. Becoming a parent didn't stop my sibling from continuing former addictions, which tells me that maybe nothing will.

It's important to note that once a person uses drugs, their brains are somewhat rewired to accommodate the new chemicals that have been introduced. So a person will carry a part of their brain that craves these illegal chemicals from that day until the day they die. That's why it's a good idea for parents to talk to kids early on about drugs and alcohol. Some people will heed their parents' advice, and some won't. It's the same with sex and alcohol. Both subjects should be discussed, and parents should be willing to answer any and all questions their children have, no matter how silly. And for those questions that they don't have the answer to, a parent should take their child to a specialist, like an OB/GYN or a doctor specializing in the treatment of alcoholics. Everyone is busy, but there should be no reason that a parent can't spare time to educate and empower their children.

I think that's a big reason why celebrities like Paris, Lindsay, and Nicole have the addictions they do. They grew up around these temptations, and it was only a matter of time before they opted to give in. Also, they have parents who are inclined to defend their child's reckless behavior, and who actually go out to parties and nightclubs with their children! My advice to the Hiltons, Lohans, and Ritchies: don't be your child's friend. Be their parents. It's not too late, and they'll appreciate it.