So my good friend Julie wrote this parody about yours truly. Next to "Sunshine on your Shoulder" by John Denver this is simply the greatest composition ever written. And if you don't agree, I will fight you.
Krooked-licious
(Verse 1)
Krooked-licious definition he's a boy who's loco
He's a mullet lovin' wangsta, has a poodle he calls coco
You can see him, wanna be him
He's a stud, not a dud
He's got reasons why he tease 'em
Does the weather through the seasons
(Hook 1)
Krooked-licious (Krooked-licious)
He's quite suspicious
And if you think he's delicious
Know his tattoo is fictitious
He blow rhymes (yo, y o)
The chicks think he's hot, hot
And they be lining down the block just to watch his Doppler rock (four, tres, two, uno)
(Chorus)
So delicious (he's hot, hot)
He's eatin' subs (he likes 'em toasted, hot, hot)
So delicious (they wanna taste the sub he got)
Krooked-licious (wa-wa-wa-wasted-wasted)
(Verse 2)
Krooked-licious def, Krooked-licious def, Krooked-licious def,
Krooked-licious definition he is not a geezer
He rocks out in his pinto, FM blaring with some Weezer
He's a mole, likes to bowl
Thinks that *Barry* is a hole
Ain't no other colon cleanser quite like he
(Hook 2)
He's Krooked-licious (so delicious)
His belly button's vicious
It likes wine, it's mighty fine
He's ain't got no mo sunshine (oooh wee)
He'll put his do-rag up top, top
They be lining down the block just to watch his mullet mop (four, tres, two, uno)
(Chorus)
So delicious (he's hot, hot)
He's eatin' subs (he likes 'em toasted, hot, hot)
So delicious (they wanna taste the sub he got)
Krooked-licious (wa-wa-wa-wasted-wasted)
(Vamp)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want K
honey go straight
Cuz you know the K ain't gay
Sleet or snow or drizzle
He's so hot for shizzle
He's not on the short bus
But he in the circus
K to the R to the O-O-K-E-D he yummy, K to the R to the O-O-K-E-D ain't no dummy
K to the R to the O-O-K-E-D, gotta rockin' tummy, K to the R to the, to the, to the, to the hit it Jul-E
Every time I turn around people gather round always looking round to figure out that sound, Krooked K just crop dusted 'n he scooted out of town (aah)
I just wanna say it now that it ain't me who farted
Had to spray, but the K just darted
trying to say it's me
when it's clearly him who fleed
and I know I'm coming off just a little bit shady
and I keep on trying to convince you I really am a lady
but I'm tryin' tell
that I can't be blamed for that smell
cuz they say he suspicious
(Hook 3)
He's Krooked-licious (so delicious)
His belly button's vicious
It likes wine, it's mighty fine
He's ain't got no mo sunshine (oooh wee)
He'll put his do-rag up top, top
They be lining down the block just to watch his mullet mop (four, tres, two, uno)
Four, tres, two, uno
That *Barry* be vicious
He party with the Amish want to be like the movie Witness
He's suspicious (oooh wee)
He churns butter, raises cocks
And they be lining down the block cuz they think he look like the Hoff
(Chorus)
so suspicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
so suspicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
so suspicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
He's Krooked-licious, wa-wa-wa-wasted-wasted
He's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
He's Krooked-licious, w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w (aye, aye, aye, aye)
P to the A to the S-T-E-Y boy you pastey,
P to the A to the S-T-E-Y boy you pastey,
P to the A to the S-T-E-Y boy you pastey,
P to the A to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
S to the U to the S-P-I-C-I-O-U-S, to the S to the U to the S-P-I-C-I-O-U-S S to the S to the U to the S-P-I-C-I-O-U-S, to the S to the U to the , to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)