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GlamourPuss



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 27
Sign: Cancer

State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/25/2004

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Monday, February 09, 2009 

Current mood:  contemplative
Thought 1.  Music - It's the only thing I have to have in my life every day that is not something I put into my body, like food or water.  But I still need it every day.  Music puts words to a situation when my brain can find none.  The sweet lull of instruments sets my soul at ease or lights it up with excitement whenever it is needed.  Music allows me to communicate with someone I would otherwise have trouble doing so with.  Music for me is one of the purest art forms, almost everyone can relate to it in some form or another. 
 
It's funny to me how one song can bring up old memories.  Maybe it's my lack of sleep, but every song that has come up on my ipod today has stirred some memory.  From the song that was playing the first time I talked to Kevin to the song that reminds me why I cherish my freedom.  It just struck me as odd...
 
moving on
 
Thought 2.  I'm restless.  I hate how complacent I have become in life.  When did I become the person to just accept things and not question them?  I miss being on the road constantly.  I miss moving somewhre new every year.  Yeah, I like to move around.  I'm trying hard to stay still and not stretch my limits.  Most days now though, I just want to get in my car and drive and see where I end up.  I want to pack a backpack and live out of it for a few months.  I just want to move around again! 
 
I also want to do something new job wise...I just have no idea what I want to do.  I want something that still has the freedom that I have now, but something that makes more of an impact on the world around me.
 
Thought 3.  Choices - What drives us to make them...both good and bad?
 
Thought 4.  People - What makes a person someone we can get along with, someone we can't get along with, or someone that attracts us?    Is it just chemistry, or does personality come into play as well? 
 

Yes, these are the things I have pondered today.

The floor is now open for discussion.

Currently listening:
One Tree
By Mishka
Release date: 2005-04-19
18:55 
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Thursday, January 01, 2009 

Current mood:  dirty
2008 started off in a strange way.  I got a phone call at midnight telling me Happy New Year then it was my turn to make that call at 2 am.  I celebrated in a country bar with some of my greatest friends (all who I met through rock n' roll)  I had no idea for what was to come.  I have had some shitty years in my lifetime....but none of them would prepare me for the new level of suck that would be reached during 2008.  Now it wasn't all bad, so I am going to break it down for you.


The Good:

I learned just how much I love the climate in Oregon.  I can tolerate snow up there, and the rain is beautiful.

I started working with different mediums in my art and they have been well received.  I had a few commissions this year and already have a couple set up for 2009. 

I made my first major land purchase....20 acres in Central Oregon. 

I saw some friendships renew, and some grow stronger.  I never realized how freaking awesome my friends are till this year!

Sebastian...really what can I say about him.  I have known him for 13 years this year and he totally stepped up this year when I was falling apart.  Between my relationship with Graeme ending and my health issues, he was always there to pick me up even when I was to proud to ask.  He really reminded me why I am the kind of friend I am to people.

Seattle...I spent more time there this year than people know about.  I love that city and the people I go there for.  :)

I used my tent quite a bit this year...this makes me happier than you will ever know.

I started to talking to someone again that I said I would never speak to again...never say never I guess.  It's been weird, not always pleasant, but it has totally been awesome!



The Bad:

First off...Graeme.  Holy crap, what a heartbreaking nightmare.  With our split I not only said goodbye to my first love, but to my best friend as well.  I don't know what hurt more.  It felt like a fucking divorce.  The ugly words that were said, taking back of property, and the final farewell were enough to make not want to fall in love again for a very long time, if ever. 

My hatred for living in DFW swelled to new highs after coming back from Oregon.  I've never liked living in Dallas...even with the badass people I know there I still don't like it. 

Broken toes...seriously...they effin SUCK!

The economy....really?  We didn't see this coming...bull shit...you didn't see this coming.  I saw it headed this way, I made plans for it, some were good enough some were not.  I know things will be ok again, because I will make them so, I'm done waiting on my government to wake up, and you should be too.

Illness...I have had enough of being fucking sick.  Really I had to go through several rounds of blood drawing and surguries this year thanks to my cancer trying to return.  We cut it off at the pass and called it a day.  No big.  Yet I still kept having symptoms...what the hell?   We found something that is not deadly, but is sure is going to be a pain in my ass for the rest of my life.

I ended a friendship with someone I had known for 20 years.  What a bunch of dramatic bullshit I didn't need...grow up and get over it.  Have a nice fucking life...please.


The Ugly:

There was a friendship I started back up, said I was sorry for being such an unnecessary bitch, yada yada.  We went and had drinks and talked, it was nice.  I really was glad that we were becoming friends again...except for him being a total douche bag.  Dude, I tried, I did, you have no one to blame but yourself for it ending as quickly as it began again.

My grandfather passed away this year.  I was not close to him at all, so it was strange sitting at his memorial while every one else has funny and sweet stories to tell about him and the only happy memory of him I had was him inspiring my love of motorcycles. 

My attitude got really shitty there for awhile in 2008...I didn't even like it. 

I slacked on some goals I set for myself....for no reason...I just did.

So, to this shitty year that has been, I say fuck you and goodbye. 

I hope 2009 is a good year, seeing as it is up to me to make it so, I think it will be.

Goals for 2009:

Get an Etsy shop up an running, I could use help coming up with a name  :)

Eye surgery so I don't have to wear contact/glasses anymore.  ha...I bet most of you didn't even know I had eye issues :)

Start on a new degree...Environmental Science.  Yes...I am a hippie.

New body...yes, you will start to see a Jenn you have never seen before starting to appear in the coming  months.  You can thank my healthy diet and 2 hour (sometimes more) a day work out schedule.  Those who knew me before my son was born, I will be looking like that again just not as gaunt.  :) 

I think that is about it...I hope you all have a wonderful new year, I know I am not the only one glad to see this one go!  :)







  

Currently listening:
Superunknown
By Soundgarden
Release date: 1994-03-08
08:02 
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