Over the past few months I have had some pretty big discoveries.  One of the main discoveries has been how wonderful it is to be invited into people's lives.  Since moving to Nashville over 4 years ago I was under the impression that as long as I had a close friend or two, I could get by.  I have since then realized that not only is that NOT true, but I was being selfish in not sharing my life with anyone else.  In the past few months I have made new friends, spent more time with friends I already had and been more involved in the lives of those I love. I have watched Ally take her beginning steps, watched Nadia discover new life experiences, spent time with Dan and Reba, laughed with Zakiya, cried with Lynn, consumed many ounces of coffee with Mandy, talked for hours with Michelle, and bought cute little girl clothes for Makyla.  All of which taught me how much life isn't about me! It is about sharing your life and hopefully being invited into the lives of others to share life with them.  I am so blessed to have people in my life who love and want to be loved.  Thank you to those I mentioned and those I didn't for letting me live, move, love and share life with you!

And to Tyler, thank you for writing "Live A Little" it is not only a great song but it inspires me. You inspire me. I am confident we are a forced to be reckoned with!

This was originally an email I sent to Tyler and he told me I should blog it.  I trust him, so here it is:

I needed to get some work done this morning, so I ventured to the McDonalds near my house to get some coffee and write there.  You may wonder- Why McDonalds? Well, it's cheap and I wanted a new experience. A new experience it was!

First of all, Antioch is always amazing to me because of how truly diverse it is.  I love that I can go into McDonalds and see black people, white people, asian people, and people of all ages. You get that experience in Starbucks but its different.  It's the upper middle class people- I can barely afford to go there anymore. Stupid economy!

Anyway, after getting my non-fat mocha for 3 dollars from a larger black woman who was talking about how she should have called out of work, I rounded the corner to look for a seat.  As I scanned the seating area for the perfect booth where I could write my youth parent letter, I noticed there were an unusual amount of older people taking up at least 8-10 tables/booths.  I listened a little closer, only to realize that they were not just enjoying their dollar cup of coffee, but in fact they were playing bingo! That's right, I have found a new community gathering in Antioch.  And this time its not the Avon lady and her crew, the teenagers spending their money on frappachinos, or even my mystery "people group" of African descent at Starbucks.  It is a community of old people.  I knew old people lived in Antioch but I did not know that McDonalds was their hang out place.  It was just cute, and it made me feel at home.  I am consistently, and pleasantly surprised as I find Nashville to have a small town feel in a larger city. There is something so moving about watching people in community.  Hearing their chatter, laughter and their shared love of bingo.  I don't think it was the game that really mattered to them, but it is a bigger feel of having companionship and connecting with others.  There's a sharing of life that takes place and I can't help but marvel at the beauty of life being lived out together….even as simple as a game of Bingo over an egg Mcmuffin, and a cup of coffee in an Antioch McDonalds.

I have 36 days until I will officially be done with Grad school! Most of my work will be done at least a week or two before, but it is crazy to think that within a month I will be done with something that seemed so scary. 

Anytime I finish something, I start to freak out a little.  Sometimes I think too much and wonder about life, God, and what the heck I’m doing.  Days like these where I’m so close to a victory I can almost taste it, there is a part of me that just wants to go sit in a field and just "be".  I get so caught up all my daily "have to’s" that I forget about the most simple part of life.  My brain is swimming with questions on what I "should have" accomplished by age 26 and what things in my life have been put on hold for the last 2 years during school.  I am sure of one thing- my house needs some serious attention! And for that matter, so do all the books I have missed out on as I’ve poured life into textbooks.

I don’t really know why I’m writing or even at this point what I’m writing, but I just needed to write.  I needed to feel like a piece of me was coming out again with my graduation day getting closer.  I am so excited to sit at Starbucks with my youth and just hang out. I will get to read books at whatever speed I want.  And I will most definitely be finding a field to sit in and (in the great words of Anne on Anne of Avonlea) "just feel a prayer".  I just want to feel a prayer!

My last blog titled "recent things" was almost a year ago, so this writing is long overdue.  Although I am still 25, I feel very different and have experienced many things in one year. 

One of the most exciting and most important things that has happened to me is I have fallen in love with a group of youth! After almost a year of youth pastoring I have just scratched the surface of how incredible Belmont youth are.

I have also now finished 4 semesters of school and have one more until I graduate.  Grad work has been stressful and it has kept me from being able to write and read at my leisure, but it has been a great learning experience and I am excited to find ways that my degree will fit with my current job and future endeavors.

In the midst of all the good things that have happened in my life recently, there have also been a few tough things too.  Most of which are not mine to share, but God has made himself more real to me as I have had to stand with friends who are hurting. This Christmas season has been sometimes over shadowed by a dark cloud that keeps trying to creep in.  Even during the dark moments, there is a hope that I find in the birth of a savior who already knew my life before I was born.  I take comfort in the fact that He already knows the end to the tough times and even in my own struggles I've never let go of that. 

Well, it is official....I am 25 years old and I'm a youth pastor! Two big changes 2007. 

Before I get into my new role change I wanted to say thank you to all of you who left Birthday comments, birthday texts, and called me. Wow, I don't think I've ever felt so loved.  Turning 25 today became a wonderful experience instead of something that I dreaded.  I also would like to thank Tarah, Kim, Chad, Tyler, and Shon for making my Vegas birthday celebration so great! Don't worry, I haven't done anything crazy in Vegas.  The craziest thing I've done so far is driven the rental car when I'm not signed on as a driver (to my youth-that is a bad example...don't do it!). 

Now, onto my second piece of big news....I have recently taken a promotion to pastoral staff at Belmont Church.  I am co-youth pastoring with Rob Still.  I am so excited and humbled by the way that God has placed this opportunity in my life.  I love the Belmont youth more than I can ever express in words! This task is something that I don't take lightly, but I am up for the adventure.  I want Mosaic Youth Ministry to be a place where we can seek God, have fun, bring friends, and take our lives into our everyday situations where our faith becomes practical and real to others.  In closing, none of you are ready for the interpretive dancing that is about to take place on youth trips...get ready!

So here's to being 25- I am so glad to have all of you in my life!!!

I love the holidays! I get excited as the leaves turn on the trees, and the air starts to get colder.  But there is definitely one aspect of the season that I don't like.  Holiday apparel is one of my huge pet peeves. Let me explain...

Saturday I was in Panera doing homework when I started doing some people watching.  I observed a lady who was probably in her late 50's, nicely dressed with a black turtle neck and khaki pants.  At a second glance, I realized that she had a black bow tied into her belt loops.  The belt itself wasn't very tasteful, but what made it ten times worse were the orange jack-o-lanterns that were scattered on the bow. 

Halloween is just the start.  Christmas brings all kinds of tacky clothing choices; wreath broaches, Christmas tree earrings, Santa hats, bell necklaces. I am not a fan of any of those, but what is the worst in my opinion is Christmas sweaters.  No, I'm not talking about a tasteful red sweater, I am speaking of the red and green sweatshirt with teddy bears wearing Santa hats usually secured by puff paint.  Or the knitted button up sweater with Santa Claus and reindeer.  What's sad is that the women who are wearing them assume they are spreading Christmas spirit.  The only thing they are spreading to me is nausea! This epidemic seems to be worse among women over 50 and moms with bad style.  It leaves me wondering...will I one day cave into this sickness? I hope not.  Please slap me if I do.  The only exclusion to this rule is children, they can get away with wearing anything. 

So, please, next time you are shopping at Sears and a sparkly green sweater with embroidered presents starts to call your name...RUN!

Well, summer is almost over for me (I will be starting grad school a week from tomorrow), and over half of 2006 is gone! I thought this would be a good time to reflect on what has happened so far this year, because it really has been a very eventful 8 months.  I think what sticks out the most is how emotional everything has been for me.  Through all the emotion I have learned one incredible lesson...a lot of life is based on perspective. I can sit all day and talk about all the bad things in my life and decide that because I have a few things that arent going right at the moment, that must mean my life as a whole is bad.  Or, I can choose to see that although there might be a few things not going well, and take into consideration that I am a work in progress, the reality becomes clear; my life has WAY more good than bad in it.  Nothing changed in my life except my perspective. 

That said, this is what I choose to identify...I have had some incredible things happen in the last 8 months!  I have had the opportunity to spend 5 event filled days with the youth group in Washington D.C., and to pray for their destiny as individuals.  I also got to go on a ski retreat with them, and Ive watched God move in their lives.... I got to celebrate my best friend Kim's 23^rd birthday with her....A new edition moved into my house. I never knew Laura was going to be the perfect roommate, she has exceeded all my expectations.... I got to celebrate my best friend Tyler's 30^th birthday, watching his band play is one of the highlights of my life....I got to fly to Buffalo NY, spend time with my family and celebrate my grandmas 80^th birthday.  While I was there, I got to hold my new 5 week old twin 2^nd cousins... I had the incredible opportunity to go to the Sozo festival in Baja Hungary.  Later in the week, I sat on a bridge overlooking Budapest talking to a guy I had know 3 days, but connected with as though we had been friends for years....Days later, I watched a moving truck pull away with Kim's stuff in the back. But, I turned around to be reminded that I am never without friends as Tylers shoulder was there to cry on (literally).... I became a tour guide and drove Cassie around for 3 days eating more southern food than one person should eat...I flew to my home town, visited my old hang outs, got to spend some wonderful moments with Hannah, Lauren, Monika, my 95 year old grandma, my brother, parents- and I cant forget my cat!... I celebrated Tarah's 23^rd birthday with Chad, Tarah, Kim and I in a small plane flying over the coast (it doesnt get much better than that!!)...I had my first experience at Holiday World yesterday, and rode roller coasters and water slides, while screaming in Bens ear....And today I had the anticipated moment of holding one of the Garretts 2 day old twin girls.  Abigail and I bonded as I looked down at a tiny face I had been waiting over 8 months to meet.

These moments have been some of the most memorable moments of my life!  I choose to celebrate them, even more than that, to celebrate the people who make the moments so great! 

To all the people I moved away from in Cali- I miss you! You are where my heart is.  There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about you and wish I could see your smiling faces.

To my Belmont Church community- you have embraced me with open arms and been nothing but incredible to me.  I find joy in standing in the services Sunday mornings and knowing there is NO other place in the world I would rather be. 

To my close friends- I have no words to say other than..."Jesus Take The Wheel!"  I cant wait to see what the next few years holds for each of us. I know you have seen a lot of negativity, and tears from me in the last few months, but I hope this makes up for some of it.  I am learning! Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives.  I truly cherish each moment that I have with you!

I just found out earlier today that I have been accepted into Regent's Masters in Organizational Leadership program.  I'm really excited!! I just needed to tell someone...or everyone.   Regent University is in Virginia Beach, Virginia, although I will be doing my degree online. 

Here I go....I'm about to be even more busy than I am now!!!

This isn't one of my funny stories, but rather a part of my life that I don't talk about much unless someone gets up the nerve to mention something to me....weight loss.

I've been doing weight watchers since January 2005 and yesterday, after 6 weeks of maintaining and a year and 5 month journey, I made lifetime at weight watchers.  Making lifetime means I made my goal of 55 pounds lost and I have dropped 4 (almost 5) sizes. 

In about an hour I have to go to one of the meetings (often referred to by my friends and I as "fat people meetings") and I will get recognized as a lifetime member...crazy!

A friend once told me that after she lost weight years ago, instead of being excited about her weight loss, she had to go through a self defining time all over again.  I thought she was crazy and she should have been happy that she looked good....now I identify.  When being overweight, I didn't really worry about guys hitting on me, and I didn't really deal with a lot of my self worth and self esteem issues.  The last year each of those issues have risen more to the surface with each pound that was lost.  I didn't realize that my issues wouldn't go away with the pounds shed- I am still the same person.  I am just beginning to recognize myself in the mirror and now knowing how to love myself, I am starting to truly love others.  It's a long process, but I am so excited to be going through it!

So here's to weight loss!

I'm sitting in my favorite place in the world....a coffee shop with free wireless.  Well, actually Borders ties for one of my favorite places on earth to be. 

I don't have a story to tell today, but rather a lot of random thoughts.  Random emotions that I can only hope will subside if I get them out of my mind and onto this blog. 

A lot of change is going on around me right now.  I have a new roommate moving in this weekend.  I am extremely excited, and excruciatingly sad at the same time! My sadness has nothing to do with not wanting my new roommie, but it has everything to do with the reality that my current roommate (and best friend) Kim will be moving back home in two months.  Laura moving in is reminding me that my days are numbered with Kim in Nashville....and that is scary beyond words! When I moved to Nashville two years ago Kim was (and still is) my security blanket.  She represents home to me.  Knowing that soon she will be another person I love who is over 3,000 miles away from me is almost too much to bare.  It's funny to me that it gets easier to live in Nashville everyday and at the same time it gets harder and harder to be away from everyone I love.  Can someone please move Santa Cruz next to Nashville so that I can commute!!!

I am also in the process of applying to grad school.  I am pretty darn nervous about the whole thing.  I am about to be even more busy than I am now, and about 20,000 more in debt than I am now.  Not to mention the fact that graduate school in my mind is for extremely intelligent people, and I have a fear I won't measure up.  Oh, and even worse....I don't know what I'm doing with my life, so when the application asks questions like "What is the overall goal you have for your life?" I want to say...'I don't know. Why don't you make one up for me and I'll adopt it...I've got no other prospects.'  Okay, I'm exaggerating a little for affect.  I came up with a really great life goal and I know I've been blessed with intelligence, I'm just scared. 

Next on my list of worries is all the stuff that people around me are going through.  Kim is dealing with moving home.  Laura who is moving in is dealing with watching her best friend move away, Tarah is dealing with all kinds of issues (family, going to grad school), Tyler also has a lot going on and in the midst of it all I just want to be a good friend to all of them and love them in exactly the way they need.  Oh, and my mom has got some kind of pain going on and the doctors aren't sure what it is....not cool!  So, I guess my saying fits perfectly right now....Jesus take the wheel!!!

For all of your sake's (I could keep writing forever) I will stop. 

I feel a little better.  This is about to be an emotional few months, but I know ultimately God has a really cool plan for me and I am excited about it! So, I will continue this journey in life with a smile on my face.  If anyone has any pieces of wisdom I am all ears. "Cause I will mow your lawn if you'll tell me what I'm doing wrong"....gosh I love Derek Webb!