Hosted By:
Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches

When:
Friday, March 06, 2009

Where:
Musica
51 East Market Street
Akron
44308

Description:
OMG do you believe this lineup? Spanky♥Butt ♥♥♥’s C.D. Truth and says they are the best band ever. And Teacher’s Pet kicks some serious ass with Ron Mullens from DIY Radio on keyboards and his bro Kal ripping up the axe. Come rock with us at Akron’s finest new music spot. Should be an interesting night!! The Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches go on at 9:15 SHARP.  Come help initiate the virginal Musica which has never seen the likes of the Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches before....




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Confidence, that's so important in a tampon.

that's why I don't understand the message when I opened my free sample of Playtex Sport.

It was 5am and my eyes weren't quite open yet. As I groped for my free sample, and started to rip it open, my eyes focused in on a tiny message on the wrapper.

"Winning Is Everything."

I immediately envisioned the famous Ohio Coach Woody Hayes which was quite the tampon experience. I backed away from the vision, confused, and read it again.

It really said

"Winning isn't everything."

OK now I was confused. I could see the bad-ass fuck-you-world message on the tampon as something constructive. But a whiny pat on the ass about how I'm a loser but that's OK I can still wear a tampon... that just wasn't sitting with me. So I've decided we need a new line of tampons.

Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitch Tampons

they will have sayings on the wrapper like

"don't kill yourself kill some bitch who deserves it"
"eat whatever you want you are skinny"
"eat chocolate and drink wine you will feel better"
"duct tape someone you love"

you get the idea. Please send me your ideas for slogans and packaging.

thanXXX

Spanky Butt Bitch
The Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitch Tampon Company

Here's the brand new Zero Defects stuff - Jeffro (the guitarist) has it on his page. 

Cheeky and Spanky sing background vocals on three songs that you can hear:

Zombies Don't Thrash
Go Blue Go Die
No More Control

Zero Defects or 0dfx or oddfucks is a band that we love and hate, check them out for yourselves on Jeffro's page and let us know what you think.

GO HERE TO LISTEN

VIDEO OF CHEEKY AND SPANKY RECORDING ZOMBIES DON'T THRASHStudio w/ 0dfx - Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches

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MyMom Stalks me on MySpace

My mom is my friend
I love her to the end
but when she gets online
I don't like the stuff she finds

MyMom stalks me on MySpace
MyMom stalks me on MySpace
then she gets in MyFace
when she finds out stuff on MySpace

I have a life you see
that isn't what she sees in me
I think it would offend her
But I might have to defriend her

MyMom stalks me on MySpace
MyMom stalks me on MySpace
then she gets in MyFace
when she finds out stuff on MySpace

****************
Souvenir

that fuck was so great
I want a souvenir
I want to remember it forever
I want a souvenir

Can we get a tshirt or a coosie to hold my beer?
that fuck was so great
I want a souvenir

SPEND THE HOLIDAZE WITH SCREAMING SMOLDERING BUTT BITCHES:
12.21.07 The Spitfire - Our first show!!!! - Cleveland, OH
12.25.07 CHRISTMAS NIGHT - The Matinee in Highland Square w/ Missile Toe - Akron, OH
12.31.07 NEW YEAR'S EVE - Washington Building - presented by Starvation Army Zine - Lakewood, OH

WATCH OUR SNOWBALL FIGHT:

"LOVE the roller derby queen song!!!!" - Teeny Houdini, *NRRG*

"I wouldn't dream of it. It looks frightening."
and after a few days and some psychological torture....
"Fartlighter is the best thing I've heard since 'Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man (someone's stuck a 'kick me' sign on your back).'"
- Tony Visconti (legendary record producer and comedy genius)

"This is how they all started." - Steve Popovich (legendary hit maker) while Out to Lunch with the Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches

"You girls are writing nursery rhymes." - Jexo Noir

"You chicks fuckin rock my world!! lol, Nice one sweets, nice one!!!" - Queen Ketamine 69, Nr Glasgow, Scotland

"Bloody Betty is a punk rock classic." - Mickey X, 0dfx

"You girls really curse a lot." - John Lee, Producer, F.I.M.P.

"The Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches totally rocked.Great work.It's almost like a girl gang." - Jeff Hardy, guitar/vocals - C.D. Truth, Missile Toe, the Heathers, drummer for the Fucktones

"I am honoured that you are reviving "Out to Lunch"!!!!!!!!!! What a classic! 'Maybe I'll go to TacoBell, or maybe I'll go to hell!' All because Ernest Bako didn't pay attention to us in art class and we could take 3 hours and leave school. Ah...........the good old days." - Stoopid Soo, who co-wrote Out To Lunch 1976 with Spanky Butt

"Hey Butt Bitch, you're a Butt Bitch, I'm a Butt Bitch too!!" - Punky Butt Bitch

the raw, unmixed versions of 3 of our songs have been posted. Bloody Betty, Fartlighter, and Roller Derby Girl.

The mixed versions should be done this week sometime (week of 09-Dec-07)
IF YOU LIKE THE RAW VERSIONS, DOWNLOAD THEM NOW - after the mixed versions are up, these will no longer be available.


Here's the list of what we recorded yesterday:

That Bitch Sold Barney
Fartlighter
40 Ain't Shit
Out To Lunch 1976
Laser Bra
MySpace In MyFuckFace
The Fucking 'F' Word
Roller Derby Queen (My Skate is Goin' Up Your Ass, Bitch)
Bloody Betty

Here are some of our songs.
The ones we have recorded are marked with a '*'
Watch for these in mid-December 2007

On the Mark (Dedicated to Mark)
I Don't Want Your Money (the Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches Theme)
*That Bitch Sold Barney (When She Cleaned Out My Room)
Heterosexuals Are Uptight
*Fartlighter
*40 Ain't Shit
Zero Defects Eat My Ass / Zero Defects Don't Eat My Ass (As Dedicated to Tommy Strange)
Pat's Weenie
*Out To Lunch 1976
*Laser Bra
*MySpace In MyFuckFace
Paperboy
Why the Fuck Not Bitch?
Where Do You Go On Wednesday?
Break It Off
*The Fucking 'F' Word
*Roller Derby Queen (My Skate is Goin' Up Your Ass, Bitch)
*Bloody Betty
Strawberry Milk Forever
Hey Butt Bitch I'm A Butt Bitch You're a Butt Bitch Too / The Punky Butt Bitch Jam
I Like Food / Der Weinerschneitzel (The Screaming Smoldering Butt Bitches Kneel Before The Descendents)

COMING SOON
we are recording this weekend.
*********************************

Roller derby queen
roller derby queen
prettiest girl you've ever seen
pretty tough and pretty mean
roller derby queen
roller derby queen

a roller girl is all u need
to knock u down and make u bleed
roll her over roller girl
the hottest girl in all the world

hey bitch you had best be fast
or this skate's goin' up yer ass
cause i'm a rockin' roller girl
the hottest girl in all the world

be sure to wear your pretty skirt
you'll look good while you're laying hurt
you think you're bad, I'll show you mean
cause I'm the roller derby queen

Roller derby queen
roller derby queen
prettiest girl you've ever seen
pretty fast and pretty mean
roller derby queen
roller derby queen

some think that this life is tough
but roller girls we like it rough
roll'er over roller girl
the hottest girl in all the world

you say that it's so unfair
i show no mercy none to spare
it's your face i'm gonna cream
cause i'm the one who makes you scream

better pray I'm on your team
fuckin' fast and never seen
hope your underwear is clean,
cause i'm the roller derby queen

Roller derby queen
roller derby queen
prettiest girl you've ever seen
pretty tough and pretty mean
roller derby queen
roller derby queen