HOW TO PUT STALKERS IN JAIL
This blog is in reference to my yahoo 360 page... and is posted here only because the same info is very useful here as well as tere
This is posted here mainly because 360 does not function right and I hate to waste my time there
This has became necessary due to an email from a stalker requesting that I take down a site that has masses of proof and evidence of the kind of things this person is capable of posted through out it... I wont give the site name out here but many of you have already heard of it... but unless someone who has stalked and harrassed pople were to make a complete and total reform in their actions, as well as retribution to those that they have harrassed in the past.... they shalll forever be known by their actions...
Much the same as a person who might comit rape would forever be known as a rapist.... this is only given here as an example.
I had a friend who I wont name ask me if I would concider removing this site that tells of all of the activity that one particular stalker has done.... most of it is cuts from the actual things that he has done to many of his victims..
Since i helped many of these victims come to terms with the situation that he created for them... by creating a place for all of this evidence to be placed for the public to see indefinately... or intill I no longer hear of this person still making threats and harassing others..
By the way i still get numerous calls about this jack ass threatening and wishing harm to others and their families as recent as this week... so with that in mind my site will stay as is until something else is being heardthats all from me for now but below is a great article to let you know how to deal with this kind of situation
THE INTERNET IS FULL OF GOOD PEOPLE
Before talking to you about stalkers, I first want to tell you that the Internet is a good place. It is full of good people. Some of these good people even networking together to build a better world. Quite simply, some of the kindest people you will ever meet are on the Internet because here, those of us that are normally shy, feel more comfortable being ourselves. We open up and share things we would never have had the courage to share face to face. And that's a good thing, and I hope it stays that way.
HACKERS ARE NOT STALKERS
Many people are under the "false" impression that the words hackers and online stalkers mean the same thing. This is a false impression put out by the media, servers and government officials. So people get confused by the terms stalker and hacker. The difference is easy to see. Stalkers are people who have an intention to harm an innocent (good person) victim. Hackers on the other hand are simply people with a high level of computer skills that enable them to do things that most of us can't. While some hackers may be stalkers, I have actually found that most of the hackers on the Internet are actually good people trying to protect the innocent. They fight back against spammers, pedophiles, hate groups, corrupt government officials, etc. So remember, Stalkers are bad people. Hackers on the other hand can be good or bad and should not be labeled as stalkers. Why do I write this? Because lately I have been contacted by many hacker groups asking how they can help fight to protect the innocent, and while I decided not to become involved (I do things like this tutorial instead), I think that we as good people should not unfairly label people who cared enough to ask if they could help protect the innocent.
WOLVES IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING
Having thought about the Internet and the effects it would have for years before there even was an Internet, I realized that one of the key problems we would face would be wolves in sheep's clothing. People, who were essentially bad, pretending to be good.
Having dealt with the victims of abusers and stalkers for years before even going online, I knew online stalking would be a real problem, and that it would take a real solution to stop it. What you are about to read, how to put stalkers in jail, is a real solution.
This is the first of many such tutorials. Future tutorials will be done as much as possible with help from law enforcement officials and attorney general's offices across the country.
GOOD PEOPLE IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING
Online stalkers count on the fact that they can hide their identities (until now), or that they can do things in ways that can't be traced to them (or so they think), and that they can essentially go after anyone they want, without fear of retribution, because the victims are like sheep that run and hide rather than fighting back.
What the stalkers didn't know, is that while there are wolves in sheep's clothing, that some of these sheep weren't really sheep. That they were hunters. That these hunters have kept their identities secret, just as the wolves have. That quietly, one by one, they have been catching the wolves and putting them in cages (jail). That the hunters knew if they wanted to catch more wolves, they had to keep a low profile.
HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO THE INTERNET
I realized before the Internet ever came into being that stalkers (the less courageous ones), would flock to the Internet. That they would be looking for easy prey. That some of them would disguise themselves by using names designed to make you think they were good people. Innocent people. That they would change identities (names) frequently. Hide behind fake email accounts (Sheep's clothing), and harass the innocent (sheep).
So, being a hunter, I tried to figure out how we hunt wolves (stalkers). The first step is to hide the identities of the hunters (until today none of you knew that I was an electronic warfare officer in the military or that I have been working with anti-pedophile groups to learn how to hunt stalkers online), the fact that the hunters were working together (Many of the stalkers are going to be surprised to find out that the sheep have been recording their chats logs, IM logs, emails, etc., and networking this information with others to be handed over to law enforcement). And that the hunters had designed a new super breed of sheep. These sheep have teeth and teeth like Piranha (Imagine the expression on the stalker's face when they realize that every single one of their victims is reading this tutorial on how to put "them" in jail).
And being a hunter, and tipping my hand to the wolves today, I have to tell you that while I am going to give you a lot of good advice on how to hunt (put a stalker in jail), there are a lot of things I am not going to teach you because I realize there are a few wolves reading this. I want to educate you on how to catch a wolf, without teaching the wolves more tricks on how to mess with you.
WHY AM I WRITING THIS LIKE THIS?
Dealing with the issue of stalkers is very stressful for some people. As soon as the word stalker comes up, they get tense and afraid. And so their mind is so busy dealing with their fear, that they can't concentrate on
"HOW TO CATCH A WOLF."
It is my hope, that by taking this approach, low key, that I reach those that need this advice the most. If you have felt like a sheep, or have a wolf hunting you, I want you to laugh and smile while we are installing your new teeth and teaching you how to take a bite out of crime.
HOW MANY WOLVES ARE THERE?
There are millions and millions of good people on the web and only a few wolves. However, good people rarely get talked about, while everyone in the village is going to talk about that one wolf. The gossip and rumors make it appear that there are a whole bunch of wolves when there are actually only a few.
By the way, please forgive me for calling you sheep. I only needed a word for this analogy and intended no offense. As a matter of fact, I kinda think I like the visual image (picture this) of a bunch of sheep having a meeting, telling jokes, using a chalk board to draw out plans just like a football team before the game, while they slip their new teeth in, all the time looking forward with anticipation to the time when the wolf (who thinks he's outsmarted them) tires to mosey down onto the field and blend in. I can see the sheep trying so hard not to start giggling as the wolf sneaks up on them.
I love thinking of it in terms like that. The stalker wants you to see the world one way. I want you to see it in another. The stalker wants you to run with fear, so he can attack your back side. Me, I want you and all your friends to plan this as though it was a game. A game where you never ever let the wolf know that you are a hunter, until it's too late for them. Until it's time to put the wolf in a cage.
So thinking of this as though it were a game, you are able to plan things, plan it with strategies, to at first try to think like a sheep (the traditional run, hide and hope the wolf gives up), think like the wolf (chasing sheep is fun, where can I find more) and then think like a hunter (where will the wolves be, and how do I get them in the cage).
Think of your strategies as though you planning moves in a game, but keep in mind that the consequences of the game can be very real. Be safe!
THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
ONLINE STALKERS AND STALKERS OFFLINE
While to make this less stressful, I have written it in story form, almost as a game, I want to make one thing clear - STALKERS CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS! And there is no difference between online stalkers and offline stalkers. They are people who thrive on hurting and abusing others. They are disgusting slime that deserve to spend their lives in jail. My guess is that most of the online stalkers are people who do not have the courage to do this in real life and face to face. They gain their courage by the fact they can use the anonymity of the web. They are like bullies, except they do not have the courage to stand up and fight. And so, most of them, despite that they can pretend to be intimidating, are nothing but chickens hiding behind their computer screens.
IF YOU WERE A WOLF
WHERE WOULD YOU GO TO CATCH A SHEEP?
One of the questions I asked myself, even before the Internet had come online, was that if there are going to be wolves, and the wolves are going to be hunting sheep, if I was a wolf where would I go to find "Unsuspecting sheep." The sheep that would be the least likely to fight back.
The answer came easy enough. Wolves, once they had been on the net for a while would look for large groups of sheep. They would then look for the groups of sheep that were doing "nice stuff." Wolves despise nice stuff. They would look for the biggest groups of sheep (mailing lists). They would look for sheep that had already been chased by other wolves (abuse groups), and sheep that were having difficulties in their lives (emotional support groups), and sheep that might be feeling a little on the weak side at the moment (Substance support groups).
And I again apologize for the analogy to sheep. But as you see, when you think of it in these terms, it's easy to spot how a stalker (wolf) would think.
HOW WOLVES DISGUISE THEMSELVES
Wolves can't simply walk out onto a field full of sheep. Nope, they would have to disguise themselves. They have to blend in.
MAILING LISTS AND GROUPS
In the case of a wolf going after large groups of innocent sheep, they often try to blend in using two separate disguises. The first disguise (primary) is as a friend who is leading a similar group of innocent little sheep, and the second disguise is as an unknown little sheep using multiple identities to attack BOTH groups of sheep, all the while under their primary disguise pretending they are helping to fight against the wolf.
In email terms this means that some stalkers are joining mailing lists, with the intention of harassing those lists. They use multiple identities. Their primary identity pretends to be friends with the people they are stalking, while their alternate identities (screen names) stalks and harasses members and leaders of the groups.
Most online editors sooner or later deal with a stalker who is harassing them. The normal thing has been to fight it out with the Internet provider to get the TOS removed. The ISP generally has refused to identify the identity of the person stalking the editor, and so the innocent person has been "guilty" without a trial. While most of the time, we can get these TOS's removed, it is a real hassle because despite we have copies of all the requests to join our lists, the ISP won't tell us who complained.
The good news is that many of the servers are now throwing off the person who is tossing the lists. They are starting to agree with the online editors associations that have presented the fact that, if you ask for something, you request it in writing, and you agreed that TOS rules do not apply, and you then TOS that list for sending what you requested, that this is a form of harassment. This good news means that the harassers are finally getting thrown offline.
However, there is a much simpler way to stop the stalker. A single act of stalking/harassment is now a crime in most states. If someone joins your mailing list, with the intention of trying to harass you by complaining to your server, this is considered HARASSMENT and STALKING. While you should contact your ISP, you should also contact your State Attorney General's office and they will assist you in contacting the brand new Computer Crimes Division in your state. They may actually be able to bring criminal stalking charges based on the fact that this person is intentional stalking you through your service provide. Oh yes, and the Computer Crimes Division can get the real identify of the stalker.
These laws apply to newsletter's that make "false" statements about innocent victims. Intentionally, sending out false information about someone to thousands of people with the intent to harass them, is legally considered stalking. If you are a victim of this kind of stalking, read this to learn how to put the stalker in jail.
One note, often a stalker will try to hide themselves by joining a group of good people, and using the image of that group as a shield to hide behind while they stalk others. This even happens to every online group, even groups like the Knights of Kindness. We have had several people join the Knights, as have other groups, who pretended to be nice, but used the group as a type of shield so that people would not believe "rumors" (the truth) that they were indeed stalkers. And so I want you to know that every group online is probably made up of 99 percent good people, and 1 percent stalkers. Judge people by their actions (remembering some of that may be a cover story to through people off), and not by what groups they may or may not belong too.
ABUSE AND SELF HELP GROUPS
Another plan a wolf might come up with, is to start out as an innocent little sheep that has been hurt and wounded by a wolf, to try to blend in with a flock of sheep that have been similarly hurt and wounded by wolves. To befriend the sheep one at a time. To hunt them down in one disguise (wolf) and to pretend in their other disguise (sheep) their are wolves chasing them, too.
Anyone using an analogy like the wolves would quickly realize that, if a stalker (basically an abuser) wanted to look for easy pickings that the best place to find them would be to join an abuse group. That the best way to blend in was to "pretend" to be an abuse victim. To be a friend to everyone using one screen name, while stalking them using fake screen names. The stalker would start out as a victim going to the group. They would go through the healing process and everyone would be happy for them. Eventually they would work their way to the levels of becoming an abuse counselor (what better way to get your intended victim to tell you their worst fears and private information), all the time stalking just a few of those that they were counseling. And the stalkers would eventually try to reach the pinnacle. To become the leader of an abuse group. What greater glory (in their minds) could a stalker have than becoming the leader of the group they are stalking. Once at the top, they could convince those under them that other people are stalkers and actually get good innocent people to start harassing innocent victims. This person, might even be able to get innocent victims who had come for their help, to commit suicide.
I want to state right now. Ninety-nine percent of the people online who are helping others are doing it for the right reasons. They do it because they care. However, we have found a few stalkers working in the emotional support groups and we will do everything in our power to put them in jail. And no, we are not giving out names, we cannot tip our hats. Just as we will not identify those who are stalking online editors etc... The first notification these people are going to get that they have been caught is when the police show up at the door and put the handcuffs on them. And I only wish I could see the expression on their faceswhen they wake up in jail, when their new room mate, (Bubba or Bertha) taps them on the shoulder and asks them to dance.
THE VICTIM DISGUISE
Another disguise wolves use is the victim disguise. This type of wolf looks for the weakest sheep it can find. Sheep that might even be suicidal. It is similar to the above types except that this wolf while pretending to be a victim, has no intention of ever becoming a leader. Just the opposite. They pretend to be a victim until the end. The wolf pretends to be a sheep in a lot of emotional pain. The wolf pretends to be the victim of stalkers. The wolf pretends to be ill. The wolf pretends to be grasping, barely hanging on. And finally, this wolf when they feel the time is just right, will fake their own death.
We have had several experiences with this type of stalker in the past. They join a group. They look for people who might feel sympathetic or even suicidal. They write letters that really reach into your heart. They want you to care about them. They want you to love them. They want you to cry when they fake their own death. There is one stalker that has faked her own death half a dozen times. Each time this stalker used another fake identity in the group to watch people's reactions when the stalker died. The biggest fear with this type of stalker, is that sometimes the victims of this type of stalking are suicidal. And that when they see their best friend in the whole world commit suicide, they may commit suicide themselves.
ALL OF THESE ARE CRIMINAL OFFENSES
All of these types of stalking are criminal offenses. They come into play under state anti-stalking laws, slander laws, harassment laws and in some cases attempted murder surrounding the idea of getting people to commit suicide. This tutorial is designed to educate you about stalkers, state and federal laws that pertain to stalking, and the process on how to put stalkers in jail.
REMEMBER MOST PEOPLE ARE GOOD
My biggest concern, even more than the stalkers themselves, is that you do not let this letter discourage you from seeking help, or from making friends. Ninety-nine percent of the people that I have met online are good, honest and caring. Do not be afraid to join a support group. Do not be afraid to get close to others. Do not be afraid to make friends. Remember there are good people. That if you become afraid to make friends, or seek help, that the stalkers have already won. Instead, I am simply saying that you should be educated about real life on the Internet so that you can make informed decisions on who you talk to, and about what.
ONE WAY TO IDENTIFY THE STALKER
Let's go back to the wolf analogy again. Let's say you are a wolf and you are wanting to stalk a sheep just for fun. Would you pick a sheep on the far side of the field, one that you would never talk to? A sheep that was so far away you could never see the fear in their eyes (stalkers love to see you show fear). Probably not, it simply wouldn't be much fun for the wolf. Instead the wolf would need to find a way to get close to their intended victim. So that they could find a way to watch.
What we have found is that stalkers, almost always stalk someone they know. This can be in-person (real life), an online friend, lover or a celebrity (the stalker feels they know the celebrity even though the celebrity doesn't know them). Stalkers simply do not enjoy stalking unless they get to see "the fear in the sheep's eyes."
For this reason, most online stalkers use multiple identities. One of these identities will stalk you. Another will pretend to be your best friend, or even a friend of a friend. When you get stalked, they want to hear about it.
What is the best way for a stalker to get you to open up and tell them to what the stalker is doing to you, and what you are doing about it? The answer, they pretend to be your best friend, and they pretend they are getting stalked, too. I am currently aware of over a dozen online stalkers, and in almost every case, the stalker, is pretending to be the victim of a stalker, too. The victim is getting stalked and wants advice. And so they turn to their supposed friend (the stalker) and tell them all about it. And the stalker tells them all the things their imaginary stalker is doing to them. It is a very close bond. The stalker is now the best friend of the victim.
So, if you are being stalked, you need to carefully consider anything anyone tells you about getting stalked themselves. Don't get me wrong, it is entirely possible they are telling the truth and you are both being stalked. But, at the same time, consider that the stalker may be hiding their identity by pretending to be a stalking victim.
STALKER IN THE NEWS
In one recent incident that was reported in the news, a woman was being stalked. She was telling a man that sat in the cubicle at work next to her at work all about it and he was advising her on how to fight back against the stalker. She was so grateful for his help that she fell in love with him, only to find out later that he was the stalker. He was using what she told him to avoid the police, she was exposing her worst fears to him, and he was exploiting those fears.
VICTIM FIGHTS BACK
In another incident, a woman that is a friend of mine, was actually stalked by a police officer. She found that he had other victims. She organized them, and I am happy to report that he has been arrested and confessed. This was an example of how stalkers offline, just like online stalkers, sometimes try to get close to victims by taking on jobs or positions where they can easily find weak victims to stalk. I guess this man was wrong, because she got educated and put him in jail. Just like I am going to teach you to do with anyone that stalks you.
SHEEP SHOULD NEVER GIVE OUT THEIR ADDRESS
I recently got a letter from a very kind lady who was practically begging me to help. She told me that she wanted to educate teenagers about the dangers of putting their personal information in their profiles, websites and giving it out via the net. I asked her why she was so charged up on this.
She told me that a man had gotten a little bit of information about her from the net, had shown up at her home and raped her. I felt terrible for her, and so I am going to ask you all a question?
IF YOU WERE IN A DANGEROUS NEIGHBORHOOD
WOULD YOU TELL EVERYONE THERE YOUR ADDRESS?
Seriously, think about this. Let's say you drove into a neighborhood where you were terrified to talk to anyone. Would you get out of your car and start handing out your name or phone number? Be honest. Okay, probably not. Why? Because you would be afraid that someone would come to your home to rob, rape or kill you.
The Internet is a mixture of neighborhoods. There are good people and there are bad people. For the most part, the people receiving this are good people (The WE LOVED OLD YELLER CROWD). But, inside this neighborhood of ours are people who would like to break into your home, stalk you and your family (the kids too). People who would rob you, people who would rape you, people who would stalk you and even a few people who would kill you. So why would you put your private information out on the Internet?
Offline, you make a conscious decision about who you give your private information to. Like all of us, you meet people you want to give your number to, you meet people you would rather did not have your number, and there are people you would be afraid to give your phone number to.
I have never ever seen anyone put their telephone number on their front door of their home. I have never seen anyone that would give their phone number and address out to every person that asked. But, I see people giving that information out to complete strangers on the Internet.
ARE YOU TELLING THE WOLVES WHERE YOU LIVE
Wolves are smart creatures. They learn how to take little bits of information, put them together, and to make a conclusion on where the sheep will be sleeping at night. Maybe it's the color of the dirt on the sheep's backside, maybe it's the smell of a particular plant on the sheep's fur, or even just following the sheep's paw prints. But the truth is, that it's easy to find sheep when they are sleeping.
So what about you? If you are a sheep, is there a wolf that might come looking for you? And if so, have you left a trail of foot prints that lead to your home? To your place of refuge and your home?
If you were a sheep, would you tell the wolves where you sleep at night?
ARE YOU DRAWING THE STALKER A MAP
Some people are actually putting their phone numbers in their profiles. The bad news folks, is that there are now software programs where people can put in your telephone number and it will give out your address and actually draws a map to your home. These programs are designed for good intentions, to help people find places, but a stalker can use your phone number to find your home.
But, let's say you are a teenager, and you are playing it smart. You don't give out your phone number, however either in your profile or in email you let it out that your first name is "Ginger," and at some other time you let it be known that you are a cheerleader, and at some other time you let it slip you are going to a game against "Moosehead University"on Friday. The stalker now has enough information to find your home. How?
He knows your name is Ginger, you are a cheerleader for the team that is playing Moosehead University. So, he looks in the newspaper to see what team the University is playing on Friday. He just found out that you go to school at "Hey-U," He goes to the game, sits in the stand on your side of the field, cheers for your team, and asks the other fans if they have seen Ginger. Or he simply goes to the school and purchases a copy of the year book, and looks for cheerleaders named Ginger. From that he gets your last name. He looks that up in the phone book. He gets your address, he drives to your home. And you just died.
So, look at your profile, and what you put in your emails, IM's and chats and you may be amazed to realize that you have given the stalker everything they need to show up at your home.
In one recent news article they talked about a man that had fallen in love with a woman from the Internet. He went across country and showed up on her doorstep. She asked him to leave. He went out and got a chain saw. And used the chain saw to show how much he loved her by cutting his own throat with the chain saw.
Is leaving a trail of footprints on the web dangerous?
Be careful..........
NEVER SHOW FEAR TO A WOLF
Wolves thrive on fear. Never let the wolves see you are afraid or they will attack. Often the simplest way to get rid of a wolf is to be a boring victim. Wolves often start the hunt by charging at the sheep and getting them to run. Wolves and other animals that hunt almost always attack from behind. They fear getting bitten, which could render them helpless to hunt for food in the future. And so they try to get the sheep to run, and then they attack from the back side.
There are several ways to successfully deal with a wolf. One is to get a whole bunch of sheep together, give them sharp teeth and have them chase the wolf. Another way is for the wolf to realize that the sheep is not going to run. The sheep either faces the wolf down (better be a big sheep to do this) or for the sheep to simply be boring. In other words, the sheep just stands there wearing dark sunglasses, and becomes transparent. The wolf knows the sheep is there, but the wolf cannot see fear in the sheep's eyes. The wolf cannot find a way to attack a transparent sheep and so after the amusement of seeing a sheep in sunglasses gets bored and leaves.
Me, I opt for a combination of all these strategies. We are networking people together to hunt the wolves. We are educating every person on the net on how to put the wolves in jail. At the same time, we are teaching the victims how to identify wolves and become transparent to them. The stalker knows the victim is there, but we teach the victim to never show any fear, to never show any reaction including anger. We teach them to NEVER THREATEN THE STALKER because that simply clues the stalker in on your plan of attack. Instead to deal with stalkers we are going with boring the stalkers by never acknowledging them, never telling them our plans, never showing any reaction, while at the same time teaching people how to put them in jail.
The first hint that you are reacting to the stalker should be when the police show up at the stalkers door. And when they are arrested, do not negotiate with the stalker or give them a second chance. There is only one legal way to stop stalkers. Put them in jail and keep them there.
TAKE ALL THE FUN OUT OF THE HUNT
WOLVES HATE COMPLETE AND TOTAL BOREDOM
There is probably nothing a wolf hates more than simply watching an empty field. A field without sheep. Yes, the wolf will lie there for a while, if it thinks it's clever and is outsmarting the sheep. But to sit and watch an empty field for months on end without seeing a sheep, and without knowing if there will ever be any sheep is more than most wolves can take.
The same true with stalkers. They love to lay traps, to threaten and scare people. But, if no one notices them, no matter what they do, after a while they get bored and many will simply go away.
Stalkers try to scare you. If they see you are afraid, it encourages them to do it again. Most stalkers start off slow, and if you react the way they expect, they get braver and braver, feeling smarter than you and slowly they become convinced that you will never catch them. For instance, if a stalker is calling and harassing you, they are expecting you to get angry. They are expecting you to act afraid. They are expecting you to react. If you react, any way, shape or form, the stalker feels they won something. If you ignore them, they lost. The thing you have to realize is that stalkers are persistent. They figure they will have to try many times before they get a reaction. So, if a stalker calls you ten times, and the first nine times you don't react, but on the tenth time you do react, the stalker won. Now they will be willing to try twenty times. Each time you react, you are encouraging the stalkers to react.
EMAIL
If you get an email from a stalker, do not write back. Do not reply. Do not go and tell every one you know (one of them could be the stalker in disguise or could unknowingly tell the stalker your reaction). Simply report the email to their ISP (Internet Service Provider) which on AOL is TOSEMAIL1. Do this each and every time the stalker emails you.
You can block email from the stalker, or block email from everyone except a list of people you specify on most servers (On AOL you can do this by going to Mail Controls ) . Personally I have found that doing these kinds of things actually encourages the stalker. That they feel they have scared you into reacting. That they "Forced" you to block them. Instead, I simply delete their mail. It only takes a second. And while it may take them ten minutes to write it, it takes me less than a second to delete it, so you can keep them busy all night while only wasting a few seconds of your time.
Never reply to the emails. Never react. Let the stalker get bored and maybe they will go away.
BCC
The worst thing you can do is to tell the stalker who all your friends are. If you send email to a group of people, the stalker can get all your friends names and start mailing to them too. However, there is a feature called Blind Carbon Copy that makes the email addresses of your friends invisible to everyone but you. I highly recommend using it, if you want to keep your friends. www.baddteddy.com/tutorials/bcc.htm
IM's
If a stalker Instant Messages you, the natural reaction is going to be to "close the IM." This lets the stalker know that you received it and that you are upset. If you close the IM, they will send you another. Instead, do two things.
1. If you are on AOL click the button that says NOTIFY AOL. Do not tell the stalker you are going to do this. Do not threaten to notify AOL, just do it. Do it each and every time this person IM's you. Click the button again. Maybe this will help, maybe it won't. But you took action, without letting the stalker see you react.
2. DO NOT CLOSE THE IM - Closing the IM is a reaction. Forget about reacting. Find the little shapes they use for resizing the IM window. One is a square that makes the IM screen bigger. The one to the left of that is the medium size IM screen, and the one on the left is a flat bar. Click that and the IM will be sent down to the bottom of your screen where you cannot see it. The stalker will be sitting there typing stuff, but YOU won't see it. LOL... After ten or fifteen minutes they may get bored, close the IM and send you another. Do the same thing again. The stalker will have no idea if you are seeing what they send, if you are ignoring it, or if you are asleep, lol. Once again, the stalker gets bored and may go away.
CHAT
The simplest way to deal with stalkers in chat is to notify the ISP (On AOL click the NOTIFY AOL button), who hopefully will remove the stalker. Ignore all comments from the stalker, and ask everyone in the room (before chat) to ignore the stalker too. In an AOL chat room, double click the stalker/harasser's screen name on the right. When the window pops up, choose "Ignore This Member". Now you will no longer see what they type, and will be ignoring them. If everyone acts like the stalker is invisible, it gets boring pretty quick. I also recommend only using private rooms, and only giving out the private rooms link to those who will not give it to the stalker.
PHONE
Stalking by phone is as old as the phone is. Modern times have given us tools to help fight back. One of these is caller ID. Of course, the stalker can block his/her phone number and call where the caller ID says "anonymous call." This is fine. Simply never ever answer the phone if your caller ID says "Anonymous call." It's gotta be pretty boring for the stalker to sit there every night, dialing a phone number hundreds of times and not even knowing if the other person is hearing the phone ring (Many phone companies, phones or even software programs allow you to automatically mute calls from anonymous numbers). Let them call all they want, what do you care if they waste their whole night dialing your number, they have to hear the phone ring and you don't, lol
CALL BLOCKING
Call blocking is another alternative. This is available from most phone companies, with many phones, and with some computer software where your phone runs thru your computer. What this does is basically say to the stalker "Sorry, the person you are dialing is refusing to take your calls." This means the stalker has to go find another phone. If a stalker calls, don't say anything, simply hang up gently and block that number too. Now remember, it took them ten minutes to drive to the phone booth, it took you ten seconds to block them. Now they drive to another phone booth, and you block that. Imagine how frustrating it must be for them when they have to spend the whole night driving from phone booth to phone booth, while you sit in your nice warm house. They while they get blocked and you have a good laugh while you watch TV.
TELEPHONE HARASSMENT
In every state in the country, harassment by telephone is a crime. The new stalker laws have changed things a lot. A person that might have been able to harass you by phone a few years ago, could suddenly find themselves in jail these days for under new laws for harassment and STALKING.
If you get a harassing phone call, call the phone company and ask for the number for the department that handles harassing phone calls. They will ask you a few questions, and then they will arrange for a police officer to come out to your home to take a report (A police report is required before the phone company can act). Generally it takes less than ten minutes to answer the questions for the police report, and the officers are generally very nice about it.
Once the phone company has a police report, they will put a trace on the phone line. It doesn't matter where in the country the calls are coming from, they can be traced in seconds. It doesn't matter if the stalker tries to block their phone number, the phone company can still get it in seconds. The phone company and the police will then tell you how to report any harassing phone calls you receive. The phone company will then use the trace on the phone line to give the stalkers number to the police. The police, depending on local policy, will take action to stop the harassment, up to and including arresting the stalker.
If the stalker is arrested, do not feel sorry for them, PRESS CHARGES...........
Look in the features section of your telephone book and see if your phone company offers "Call tracing" Generally with this service you simply key in a code after a harassing call, and the call tracing saves the number so you can report the harasser to the police.
THE SHEEP'S NEW TEETH
For many years, stalkers were able to get away with harassing innocent victims. There were few laws to protect the innocent. And the laws that were available were highly ineffective. It got so that stalkers thought they were immune from prosecution. There were no stalker laws and harassment laws required a huge burden of proof and the ability to demonstrate a pattern of harassing behavior.
However, the laws have been changed. In most states, a stalker can now receive several years in prison for the FIRST OFFENSE. The victim no longer needs to show a pattern. There do not have to be multiple incidents. Instead, where the burden of proof used to lay with the victim, now the courts are handing out sentences to first time stalkers.
NEW STALKER LAWS state that it takes only one incident where it can be shown there was an intent to harass or otherwise stalk to get a conviction. What this means to you is, if someone stalks you, and you get the police involved, that person can be put in prison for the very first offense.
ONLINE STALKERS CAN BE PUT IN JAIL
I have been researching heavily, and have found that indeed, the law does not differentiate between offline stalking and online stalking. If someone uses a computer to stalk you it is no different from if they were doing it by phone or in person. THEY CAN BE PUT IN PRISON!
Do not threaten to have the stalker arrested. Don't even let them know the police have been contacted. They might slow down for a while, but they will return, and the next time they will be more careful making it harder for the police to catch them. You should notify the police the very first time someone threatens to stalk you. You should follow up with the police each time they harass you. Once the police catch the stalker you should PRESS CHARGES (Never let the stalker talk you out of pressing charges - don't believe their false promises to stop). In court, you should go in front of the judge and ask for the maximum punishment available by law.
VIRUSES
Intentionally sending someone a virus, is considered harassment and stalking. It is a criminal offense. If someone intentionally tries to send you a virus contact the Computer Crimes Division of your state law enforcement agency and they can act to have the stalker arrested. For example, I read recently the man who originated the Melissa virus when he goes on trial could be facing a possible TWENTY YEARS in jail.
LAWSUITS
Harassment, stalking, intentionally sending viruses, etc... are all part of a pattern of behavior designed to cause emotional distress to the victim. In addition to being criminal offenses, they also have legal ramifications in civil court. Essentially, if you are harassed online you can go to your local courts and file a lawsuit against the person harassing you and sue them for intentionally causing you "emotional distress". Not to mention, suing them for monetary loss for damages to your computer, and reimbursement for the time and effort required to replace information that may have been lost due to the virus.
KnightsofKindness.com - Law - Bar Associatations
VICTIM SERVICES
We have compiled a large list of federal, state and private agencies that can help victims of stalkers.
KnightsOfKindness.com - Stalkers - Victim Services
KnightsOfKindness.com - Law - Crime Victim Assistance
STALKER LAWS
The following is a site where you can go to read the stalker laws of your state, and of the state where the stalker lives. Educating yourself about these laws can be a big help in getting the police to act.
KnightsOfKindness.com/stalkers/laws.htm
KEEP RECORDS OF EVERYTHING
AND KEEP THEM ORGANIZED
One of the best ways to persuade law enforcement to help is to have accurate records that are easy to read. Harassment and stalking can be very confusing. People tend to tell the story in bits and pieces, and while it makes sense to you, the story teller, it can be very confusing to the person you are telling it to. And often it is very frustration in understanding your story that makes them decide not to get involved (help you). They figure that you are giving them too much information and that they will end up with a ton of paperwork. If instead you can condense it down and organize the information, you will increase chances that you can get police or reporters to listen. For instance, first think of just a random story and how confusing it can be, and then compare it to the following...
JOURNAL OF STALKERS ACTIVITIES
EXAMPLE
The following is a history of how ________, has been harassing and stalking me. The comments in black are the what the stalker did to me, and I have attached a copy with more details that you can find by using the reference numbers. The comments in red, are what I did to try to stop the harassment and the resulting actions of those I contacted for help.
Jan 1 - Harassing email screen name ______ (See --> Jan 1 - ______ )
_____ wrote a harassing letter to me using screen name ______
I wrote a letter to ISP about harassment by _____
I called the ISP at (___)___-____, spoke to ______, and they said they were going to _______
Jan 2 - Harassing email screen name_______ (See --> ______ - Jan 2)
_____ wrote a second harassing letter to me using screen name ______
I wrote a letter to ISP about harassment by _____
I called the ISP at (___)___-____, spoke to ______, and they said they were going to _______
Jan 3 - Harassing email screen name _______ (See --> _____ - Jan 3)
______ wrote a harassing letter to me using a different screen name ______
I called the ISP at (___)__-____, spoke to ____.
They confirmed that the screen names ____ and ___ are both the same person
I followed the letter up with a certified letter to _____
Jan 4 - Harassing Phone Calls (See--> _____ - Jan 4)
Received harassing phone calls at 1:38 pm, 3:47 pm a 5:27 pm
I contacted _____ at the phone company at (___)___-____, and filed a complaint
I filed a police report with officer _____, case number _____
My phone was tapped at this point with all harassing calls being passed to the police
Jan 5 - More harassing calls (See -->_____ - Jan 5)
Harassing calls received at 1:38 pm, and 5:27 pm
I contacted the phone company _____ and officer _______
Officer confirmed call originated at stalkers home
Action by the police was ________
Jan 6 - Filed a restraining Order (See --> ____ - Jan 6)
Judge granted restraining order because the stalker did show up for to court
Jan 7 - Filed harassment and stalking charges (See --> _____ - Jan 7)
Six victims (names and phone numbers) jointly filed charges of stalking and harassment
Copies of their logs are attached (See Other Victims)
Jan 8 - Filed a lawsuit for harassment and stalking
Jan 9 - Stalker arrested
HOW TO SAVE EVIDENCE
You should keep anything that you receive in regard to the stalker. You should save chat logs, emails, IM's, dates and times of harassing calls, copies of all letters, keep a written record of calls to law enforcement, etc.
To Save Emails
Open the email (no not open attached files from people who may be stalking you)
Click FILE (top left)
Click SAVE (A window opens)
Name the file (I recommend using names or dates)
Click OK
To save IM's and chats there are many ways to do this. One is to go to Keyword BPS (AOL users only) and download (POWER TOOLS for AOL). This has tools for saving chat and IM logs. The second way is to copy the chats and then paste them into a file, or use the feature on AOL, "MY FILES, LOG MANAGER".
To Save IM's
The IM window has to be open
Click FILE (top left)
Click SAVE (A window opens)
Name the file (I recommend using names or dates)
Click OK
(If using the LOG MANAGER feature, just click to open the log, and save it to your AOL download folder. Once you are done the IM's will be saved)
To Save Chat Logs
The Chat Room has to be open
Click FILE (top left)
Slick SAVE (A window appears)
Name the file (I recommend using names or dates)
Click OK
(Once again, feel free to use the log manager here, as if the chat room goes past a limit on input, you will lose the beginning of the room chat.)
SEE THE DIFFERENCE
When you organize the information to give to each of those involved (Police, reporters, other victims that you are sure are not the stalker) it makes it much easier for them to act. You will see a difference in the way they respond to your request for assistance compared to how they would have responded if you had contacted them and given them stuff like "I think it was on ____?" Remember, to help you, they have to present the information to their supervisors and to a judge. Organization of the information is critical. Also by organizing the information in this manner it makes it easy to compare information with other victims.
STALKING LAWS
Online guide to laws around the world - This site was created by the US Government to help people (like you) to find any law (state or federal). Because stalker laws are constantly changing (almost on a daily basis) this website that is updated daily is the best resource online to find the current stalker laws in your state.
RESTRAINING ORDERS
Restraining orders are basically a tool that the legal system uses to try to protect people. If you are being harassed by someone, you can call your local police department or prosecutors office. Tell them you have a problem with a stalker, and they will have you fill out a form. From there they will try to notify the stalker (they may have to go thru your ISP to get the stalkers address, or they may send notification via email) of the date and the time of the hearing. Neither side is required to have a lawyer. You simply show up, answer a few questions from the judge, and he grants a restraining order.
The victim basically says, this person is bothering me and I want the court to order them to have no further contact with me. The alleged harasser then has the opportunity to deny (if they show up) harassing the victim and to show why it would be inconvenient to not be allowed to be in contact with the victim. In most cases the judge will order the alleged harasser to have no further contact (email, phone or in person) with the victim. And to maintain a certain amount of distance from the victim.
My guess, since this is not a criminal trial (the judge simply needs to know that there is a justifiable reason for the restraining order, and that it has not been done to harass the alleged stalker), most stalkers will not show up. I doubt most online stalkers would bother to travel a long distance, on the small chance that a judge would decide in their favor and not create a restraining order. As far as online stalking cases it would be hard for the alleged stalker to convince a judge that there is a reason to "not" grant the restraining order. Since the stalker knows this, most online stalkers will probably not show up for court. If the stalker does not show up for court, most judges will automatically issue in favor of the victim and grant the restraining order.
In cases where the stalker and the victim have been romantically involved, the stalker probably shows up less than 50% of the time. And less often if they were not romantically linked. Judges normally grant the restraining order automatically if the stalker fails to show up for court.
If the stalker breaks the restraining order (court order), the stalker can be arrested.
LAW ENFORCEMENT
Many people are under the illusion that online stalking is somehow different from offline stalking. Some of those that believe this are the stalkers themselves. And so they assume that the police will not act. I for one know that the police can act on these laws, and do. Online stalkers are put in jail, just like stalkers that don't use computers. There is absolutely no difference.
LAW ENFORCEMENT WEBSITES
. Knights Of Kindness Law Enforcement Agencies Listings
WHO DO YOU CONTACT ABOUT AN ONLINE STALKER?
For most crimes, you would normally contact your local police, the sheriff's office or the state police, and you can do that with online stalkers. However, many of those offices are simply not equipped with trained personnel who can work effectively to have an online stalker that may reside in another state arrested. However, under a new federal mandate all states are now required to have a new Computer Crimes Division, that is headed by the state's Attorney General. These people deal specifically with crimes by stalkers and pedophiles and can make arrests no matter what state the stalker is in. :-)
NAAG
National Association of Attorney Generals
According to the specialists I spoke to that deal in computer crimes, they told me that the best way to get law enforcement help with an online stalker is to send a letter or email to your State Attorney General. State Attorney General's are basically the politicians that run programs like the computer crimes division. My understanding of it is, that being politicians, the State Attorney Generals are highly motivated to act on your behalf. They want your vote and they want to avoid bad press. So, you forward them a letter, they will then either tell you who can help, or forward your letter to the appropriate law