well crap. preseason track starts friday and i think i am going to miss it. i have several legitimate reasons. need to get truck insurance, tabs, cycling license etc. but i am also nervous.
i am going to race, i just need a little time.
work is a little better. i am not so focused on money, it has been working out ok. bills get paid. i am not swimming in disposable income, but we are doing alright.
work is changing as well, a little busier. some days. our crew has just changed. one gone and one added.
the details arent solid but i might be getting a coach/personal trainer for track. someone i have looked up to for a long time and have a huge amount of respect for. i am finding out soon if it pans out.
i am still holding out hope that work will continue to pick up. i love riding my bike for a living, and for the most part i enjoy who i work for. it would be nice to get more longboard jobs, but i dont expect everything to be perfect.

2008 is over and while i dislike the idea of changing anything about my awesome self, something needs to give. i am tired of being stressed out about work and money. so i decided i am not going to be anymore. i am tired of this stress then affecting my relationship with my husband, so it wont do that anymore. i am over petty arguments and fights i have with the boys on my crew, so that ends as well. and i am kind of tired of how isolated i have become.
its easy to see the things i want to change in my life, but how do i become a zen master millionaire who gets along with everyone and has a bitching social life?
i am going to start by trying to take it easy on everyone around me, not trying to murder it at work, and (im not making any promises here) maybe stop yelling at stupid fuckin hipsters.
actually, i will definitely commit to the first part of that, but hipsters on fixed gears can suck a dick.

we moved. 2 years or so in belltown in our one bedroom. so outta there. our new place is in pioneer square a "loft" (i always think people use this term pretty loosely) super tall ceilings, long windows, one huge room, a bigger bathroom, bigger tub and what my mom calls a pedestal sink.  it is more expensive but worth it. oh and we got two kitties! major and madison. but most times they dont answer to that so i call them girlcat and boycat. they actually dont answer to that either.
todd built us a loft bed and it took a bit to get used to sleeping up high. its actually a nice place, something i am proud of.

more expensive when work is so slow is  a little stressful. economy recession depression wall street bailout buyout i stopped watching the news and am now just trying to ride as many miles as possible.

track ended. not so much with a bang, more of a fizzle. we kind of stopped going the last month. i still finished 7th overall in the category 123 elite women. burnt out is one word. i was in fighting shape when preseason started but honestly work slowing down  lost fitness whatever i slowed down and by the time i realized it the season was almost over. i had a couple really good nights. most times i was one of the fastest category 3 racer there, but with the category 1s and2s i would be racing for 4th place. which can be discouraging. i need to work on my outlook or mindset with racing again. not expecting to finish super high in the pack just be content to do my best. i actually need to work on my overall mindset concerning work and lack of it. todd disperses great advice and comfortable thoughts, but panicky stressful thoughts always manage to work their way into my brain.

in my heart i am a optimist and i always have hope that things will get better. better president (i am actually voting this time) improved economy, and more work. well, i also have hope that todd will surprise me and do the laundry but i try and be reasonable with my expectations. ha!

so its august and track season is going better. i was holding second for a while but dropped down, i think i am at fifth now. maybe sixth. had a tough time in there. work slowed down and i ended up riding a lot less with out realizing it. and then it translated to me not doing as welll, being tired earlier and unable to hold sprints. kind of got disappointed with my performance and lost sight of what is important. having fun.
last friday was kind of a turning point. i was in a different head space and as a result i got third overall. the highlight of the night was placing third in a race i normally bomb at. its the "miss and out" so whoever crosses the finish line last, gets pulled out of the race until three people are left. they then sprint for the finish. i normally end up getting pulled early due to poor tactics, trying to make a break and blowing up. but this time i stayed in and got third place. holy crap.

work is going ok. really slow. but paychecks havent been that much smaller and me and todd live pretty comfortably, dont want for anything.
and the best part of all, is the stealth crew is changing in september. im not going to talk a gang of shit about it just going to leave it at that. change is good and i am stoked.
hella stoked. (those arent even real words but i think i got my point across)

track season is underway and i have been doing (surprisingly) well. i am 2nd overall in the category 1-2-3 women. last friday was a little frustrating, got a flat tire in the middle of the last, most important, points race of the night. oh well. still had a really good time. i think i got fifth overall for the night.
friday was frustrating at track and thursday at work was more so. one of my coworkers decided to come in on his day off. which was completely unnecessary. i decided instead of thinking about the money he was essentially taking out of my pocket, i would have a productive day and go couch shopping. that turned out much better. every once in a while doing that helps with mental health. i wouldnt bone out if we were busy, it was so slow that five of us working was bullshit. whatever.
 getting new tattoo work. racing. working. sounds boring, doin the same thing all the time but i am ok with it.

i came in first for preseason points.
1st night of regular racing last friday was a different story. some days you got the legs for it and you can murder it, and some you do not and it is all you can do to keep up. i came in sixth, but i had a really good time. having other women to talk to who are passionate about track, bikes and racing is pretty invaluable. i didnt realize how much i missed that aspect of it.
june is here. feels like march. and i have a cold.

thats it.

preseason track started a couple weeks ago. we missed the first one due to a miscommunication on the rainline. but i raced last week and i got third overall. i feel like i am stronger physically then last year so its going to be a good season. i think that i have a better attitude then last year. i used to get upset if i didnt win every race. which is completely unrealistic. nobody can. then i started focusing on smart riding  and tactics and then i started to be a contender.
god, it was nice to be on the track again. some things are different. i am racing 1-2-3 women and its faster. i need to work on drafting and patience as always but when the season starts on may 30th the races get harder. its not like they were easy before, they just get longer with more sprinting. i am so excited!

what else?
oh ya, the two day "heat wave" is in progress. enjoy it kids, this is your summer.

weather permitting, track season will be starting next friday. looking forward to that. the other night i had a dream that i was riding my desalvo for work. which wouldnt have been that bad except that i was having all these stupid mechanical problems and was wearing those stupid stretchy yoga pants that chicks wear to show off their heinies when they are going to "work out" that are all tight at the top and loose at the bottom. except i dont work out. and even if i did, i wouldnt wear those fuckin things . and i was sporting this super huge fanny pack in addition to a hoody wrapped around my waist. the coolest part was no one else was working, they were just standing on the corner  pointing fingers and laughing. i think i was also smoking crack during part of this. ah, awesome.
going to be honest, this last month has been absolute shit.  and i just wanted to tell you todd that you have been a ray of sunshine (most of the time) and i love you a lot (all of the time). oh and i also wanted you to know that i was right about 30 rock and quit arguin with me about pop culture because it is embarassing to me how little you actually know about it. actually my grammar is embarassing to me, but whatever. im over it.

the vacation was awesome. lots of beach time, swimming and eating. no bikey for 9 days. oh, and plenty of silly tanlines. and it was good.
but not so good was the phone call we got about some douchebags smashing the shit out of our subaru. the back window was gone and the front was shattered and some other bullshit. there was no way we could sell it so todd got it towed and after some finagling, maxing out credit card and using savings, we have a jeep. and if anything happens to it, i am goin to burn down the buildings that its parked by. every one of em.

what else... its been slow but i have been trying to ride a fair amount, feel like i am back in shape after the long break off the bike.
today was a good day.