"so cry me a fucking river bitch.
you wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."
these words ringing out in my head
as i'm being utterly torn apart from this world and the rest.

what i thought was real, what was true
what i wanted to be, it all came unglued.
what once was, all down the drain
what was together, torn apart in pain.

"you mean more to me than life itself"
if it were true, than why am i on the shelf?
stored away like books left to collect dust
left to rot, have my heart turn to rust.

four letters, a lie, a hope writ in shambles,
hearts flowing like a creek that forever babbles
with pain and suffering like flowing floodgates
and the ruptering walls showering with hate.

we're star-crossed yet matching and i want it to be.
i've waited so long to float off and see
you beautiful brown eyes and stunning smile.
with a glimmering hope i may just wait a while.

we'll just have to see...

If I gave up, if I went away,
If I was gone, what would you say?
A body suffered by pitiless blows,
With wall so thin that it goes
Crashing down in a tower of shame
Like the brickened walls of the crumbling Dame.

Can friends keep me sane from thoughts of poverty?
Or will these "friends" of mine be the death of me?
Will I waste away trying to keep everything afloat?
Or will I crash and burn like a funeral on a viking boat?

So tell me why I should stay when I sense my grey demise.
Maybe I can escape when I finally close my eyes.
Knowing that my dreams offer me the slightest hope
Of keeping me from the brink of my neck to the rope.

(chorus)

I'll take this bottle of pills and make my story
Write the blood on the walls with fists of fury

I pray that you come back
At the End of Days
So that I can tell you
Why I died that day

(outro)

And the note said:

Goodbye mother, goodbye father
To my family and my friends
You were there till the end
All you haters and desecraters
You're the reason that I'm gone
And you know what you did wrong

But I know that one day soon
We will meet... in Hell

relinquish thineself unto me,
and behold what i lay before thee.
with sword in hand i charge the earth,
laying nothing but waste in my birth.
back to back i face your front end,
my sword rings bullets of your descend.
and i shall conquer all that is found,
and my wrath will not be unbound.
so pray that we shall never meet,
or you will be lost by utter defeat.

sleepless night, the tired supress
but my dreams won't come
in my shell i still gaze
waiting for the sands

minutes and hours pass
drift away to nothing
an empty mind filled with hope
for this phase to pass

come on sleep just take me now
my body's growing weak
i'm waiting for this day to end
so i can finally rest in peace

winding down my body shuts
like there's no tomorrow
but the dawn sits on edge
with its grey approach

taunting me i see the light
from the fire raging
another day lost in thought
or rather the lack of

come on sleep just take me now
my body's growing weak
i'm waiting for this day to end
so i can finally rest in peace

distorted dreams keeping me awake
bringing fear to me, not wanting to sleep
constantly haunting my thoughts
creating the source of the tears...

another night, another stream of tears
drops that pour of pain and suffering
refusing to appear in the presence
of close friends... and loved ones

fear becomes of me in their faces
of their thoughts rejecting weakness
my pain i show is this weakness...
fear of them knowing the truth of it all