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~Matt~



Last Updated: 12/17/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 25
Sign: Sagittarius

City: (Can't wait to move the hell out of)Tulsa
State: Oklahoma
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/5/2005

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009 1:44 AM

Current mood:  inspired


1- why is black literature or film....called "black literature" or "black film" while white literature  or film is just literature or film?

2- What is the TRUE definition of a friend?....to me my friends are a true reflection of who I am.

*rewind*

the reflection.... meaning ...if I felt like befriending them at the time. because seal the deal and keep it real I would NOT befriend a few people as shallow careful & considerate as I am & how I go on INNER as well as outer beauty ..style & something MORE than what a normal person can have ....It takes A LOT for me to get to know me. & Keep me.

When I encounter a problem....

  like when Eric used to smoke

I don't gather a crowd and tell everyone BUT Eric, I don't participate in bitchassness.

I let Eric know how I felt.
the odor. the expense, the life threatening smoking causes... & cold turkey Eric quit.

I've mentioned my level of friends.

VERY IMPORTANT /VIP (irreplaceable)
Important (hard to replace)
dispensable (self explanatory)
D list. (replace-able)
Associates.


I try to be a very important friend to everyone, until/ unless advised to do otherwise

Because ...

seal the deal and keep it real....
some people you cant enjoy.
some things you cant point out.
BUT...still they must be disposed of.
so if you want to .... you got the green light! lol


3- I really dislike cold weather. Its making people lazy. hungry and fat.
 there I said it.

4- During a random topic about religion... ...it was made CLEAR if not CLEARER that the many of the most evil people I've met , are indeed Christian.

When you spew hate - that isn't Christ like...







When you "make fun of" a black church or a white church because how they do things...imitating them in ways of such... that isn't Christ like... Heaven isn't segregated by race.... and neither is hell.



I just wonder how do people go about their day on their imaginary high horses... I KNOW  I'm not perfect (yet) but that doesn't mean I'm going to act extra high and mighty ....[pause]

I act like a snob at times.
I act uppity many times.
I'm conceited. (& I gotta reason)
& I have a big mouth.

AND?




How you doin?

But I don't use things like religion to make it look good.... Jesus died for sins, not the nappiness of your hair that you fucked up with a dollar store perm.....(even though that too is a sin).










 




 
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Saturday, December 05, 2009 10:45 PM

Current mood:  enlightened
Its been a long time since I've written one of these.... which means I've a lot to say.





As 2009 comes to a CLOSE and a new series of Decades come into play THE 2010'S!!!!

I wonder can music in the 2010's be as boring and stupid as the music in the 2000's?
with the exeption of Beyonce, LaToya, Ludacris,Mariah Carey and Aaliyah...

I was ORIGINALLY going to call this blog 'stupid things BLACK WOMEN do' then....as events & time rolled on ..."stupid things that BLACK PEOPLE do" .....& as time stopped rolling on to Saturday December 5th 2009 at 4:54pm in Tulsa ,Oklahoma with a temperature of a  nipple sharpening 48 degrees....I've decided to call this one

STUPID THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO.

2009 edition.

Chapter 1

Black women who date white or other than black men... getcho shit together!

Why is it , that nearly EVERYTIME I see an interracial couple, black female, white male... that the woman is somewhat showing him off or parading him around like he was pet of the week on the 12 pm news..... like "oh there goes a black man! Let me piss him off !!"

bitch please.

I was at WAL-MART, and I was shopping while on my cell phone as usual and this black woman with really fucked up short hair SPEEDED in front me to get something then quickly put it in the basket that her white husband was holding then gave him a kiss.

Theres some thing to be said about UGLY PEOPLE and PDA.... but I'm not going that way today.

Theres some thing to be said about wearing shorts and flip-flops when your feet and knees are so ashy they look like you  Karate kick cement blocks for a living..... but I'm not going that way today. (not today)

What I WILL say is this..... it is so DAMN SAD, that in the year 2009 people still make a big deal about race, especially black women.

Now- with me being in a largely BLACK family I know what goes on, this may or may not be true for hispanics, whites, asian, Indian...etc., but what other race do you KNOW makes a big deal out of every single thing?

How to do black hair
How to raise black kids
How to achieve black love....

"you aint posed to talk proper cuz that aint how a real N*cka tawk"

*let me turn in my black card on that note*

Cant we just live?

Back to the subject at hand.... this roach ass woman in walmart paraded him around me like he was the supreme being with a receiding hairline.

First of all....
I don't care whom you date.

2nd
I don't care that she was BLACK & he was WHITE.

3rd
I gotta white man my damn self! I KNOW for a fact white dick is good who you think you tellin? I go white so I know been licked right - hello?!

so take that shit somewhere please .... & for the sake of all man and woman kind...if you STEP your ass out of the house and into the public eye,,,,PLEASE make sure your hair doesn't look like Daffy duck when Elmer Fudd shot him in the face....

CHAPTER 1-A 

black people ..... live and let live.

Real talk....some black women are the  most SNICKERIEST  hating bitches to run across.... especially if you're a black man who dates a white woman.

MANY-MANY times I've sat with family , friends, or just seen random incidents, where an interracial couple- black male, white female walks by .... & any black woman that sees that gets salty in the face. While everyone else ignores it.

Can't you just be happy that they FOUND love?

"they're taking all of our black men"

--- well honey, you sitting on your ass isn't making the situation any better. Sorry.

& believe it or not thats RACISM. If a white man said that there would be an uproar.

I was out with Nicole a white female friend of mine from an old job ,we were at the mall at the chik-fil-a and I was talking to her and I see this girl who I thought Nicole knew by the way she was starring at us just give us a evil eye....

MATTHEW 101:

  When I see an "evil eye" I throw salt in that bitch.....making you mad as hell. Its a sick pleasure ...


I ask Nicole does she know her and she says "no, do you?" and I shake my head no...

WHY did I hear this manfaced monster with Kmart quality weave LOUDLY mumble " I can't STAND white bitches that try to steal good n*ggas".....

Since when did I become a good n*gga?

Since when did she try to steal me?

Since when did she KNOW I was not indeed gay and I have a white boyfriend?

I felt like literally kicking that evil trick down the escalator but security was RIGHT up the way so..... *sigh.... I just hugged Nicole and it got on the girls nerves.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste......get educated people.



One last thing....

CAN blacks & gays get it together?

I was watching another special on CNN about blacks in America... & as usual there was a segment on gays which led to failure and disappointment.

If any people should know better its BLACKS. After 400+ years of being oppressed people you shouldn't treat ANYONE less than you treat yourself...including gays and lesbians and bisexuals.

this year Morehouse college, an HBCU banned males from wearing female clothing....
not a big suprise.....

Does it ever occur to you....that slavery is over?

Does it ever occur to you that you can date, dress, talk , sing, etc., anyway you want to?

Does it ever occur to you...that it sounds IGNORANT and stupid as fuck to call yourself a name that has degraded a people for centuries? - the "n word?"

- maybe its just me, till then I will consider myself to be FREE.

Being black and on the DOWNLOW makes up a LOT of the HIV/AIDS population.

being ashamed of whom you are and dating according to the black stereotype isn't a good look.

"normal people"

who can say what is normal? Certainly not anybody I've met. ESPECIALLY not the chickenfried church folk I've met over the years....

how can you call yourself a true Christian....IN THE PULPIT  preaching against homosexuality yet you have a secret fetish of having sex with little boys?

-is that normal?

how can you call yourself a true Christian...knowing what the Bible says about sex before marriage, divorce, adultery and lust AS A STRAIGHT PERSON....yet you have sex with your man and have a female "lick lover" on the side that you think nobody knows about..

-is that normal?


How can you call yourself a true Christian....OR act like it when it comes to you hating on gay people...when you STILL have episodes of BET's "uncut" in your tivo , having sex with random chicks at the club...

-is that normal?


For many people it is, which gives me light to know that NOBODY is perfect  but its ALWAYS the people on their "high horses" that make sure they are in the right....that always have a rebuttal to the Bible's sayings about  selling your daughters to slavery (found in Leviticus) or David and Saul's gay affair (found in 1 Samuel 18)  YET when it comes to something you don't understand.....you pull out the dramatics...and its sad when people want to follow  a stereotype and abandon their own heart, mind and soul.

well as the saying goes........monkey see , monkey do.

WOULD YOU LIKE A BANANA ?

Can living in your own truth be normal?



CHAPTER 2

Family matters

I can say this about my family ....I got love for them all but I can trust them as far as I can throw them.

Its only at funerals when we have our family reunions.
Its only at funerals do I see people who have my last name.
Its only at funerals do I see people who share my characteristics.
but the bad thing is....at every funeral one of us is always gone.

Theres so many people I don't even know ....what they look like what their names even are.. yet they know me because mom and I look alike.

THE ISSUE arising.....

I have a family that is very 2 faced at things... which is why we're so close, but not that close.

We have gays in the family but the issue is never really talked about , I had a gay uncle who I NEVER saw a picture of, never heard stories about , never even knew he existed until a certain discussion years ago about his drinking and dying of an early age.

((which is why I don't smoke, NOR drink))

I have 2 gay cousins that are out...their mothers never ask about their love life or wonder why they have no children .

I never see the gay cousin that doesn't live with his mom....& with the way this family is...who can blame him.

I have a cousin that is NOT out.....but a queen knows a queen.
Ive never known him to have a girlfriend.
Ive never heard his mom talk about his lovelife.

I know I'm now somewhat the "wild child" of the family & don't you know I LOVE IT?

I LOVE when my baldheaded 2 faced aunt compliments me on how my hair always looks good, how my eyebrows are done better than hers, how my skin is so pretty.How I can DRESS MY ASS OFF ....

& How Mom tells me how she calls and asks who does my hair , nails and eyebrows....

I have no need to be conceited.... but dusty 2 faced bitches like my aunt REALLY tempt me.

I never wanted to be a woman, contrary to ignorant negro belief.

I simply do it better.


I was on ........FACEBOOK the other night and my friend/associate Eden got her engagement pictures, showing her and Tim.... and showing how shes basically ballooned since high school .....

  But who is she trying to please? She already has a man.

So I click on Tim's profile, jet to his friend's list and BAM! I see a cousin of mine named Jill ....... JILL is a cousin of mine whom I'm not very close to. JILL talks to my 2 faced aunt Jean who is the blacksheep 2 faced bald headed bitch of the family.

Matthew 101.

  any time you disrespect me, in front of anyone, I have a right to piss on you infront of the whole wide world so everybody can know your business.....remember that.

Auntie jean, was verbally abusive to Me as a child, my mom can tell you that, she has always talked about everyone in the family including JILL, her gay son and her daugther... I can remember conversations about Jill told by my Aunt Jean back when Mom and her were talking....

about her 2 kids with 2 different baby daddies
(& bitch you wanna look at ME fucked up?)

about her fucking men on a local chatline
(& you wanna look at ME fucked up?)

about the ugly ass dude she used to date who fucked up her tv and her son's baby daddy who is up to no good yet she sends off her son to be with him because she wants him to be a "MAAAAAAAN."
(& you still look at ME fucked up?)

Mom tells me family gossip..sometimes it what I don't want to hear, at times its good.

A reason why Auntie Jean was so abusive to me when I was a child, why she wanted Mom to have an abortion .......was that Auntie Jean fucked around with my dad around the same time he was with Mom.

So all these years of her being 2 faced , makes sense. What kind of whore can look at herself in the mirror and love herself?
Is lying on your family a way of making yourself feel somewhat better?
Are you jealous because I CAN STILL GROW MY HAIR?

Are you jealous because Mom can STILL GROW HAIR and have little to no greys?

Ho' have a seat, have a damn seat.


I got nothing but love for Kim and Lisa. I wish I saw them more, but then again I don't, if you have nothing but bullshit to say to me based on lies told to you by some baldheaded ho ass bitch...... then you're as un-important as the next hoodrat.

I KNOW that Jill, Tim and Eden if not already will be  bringing me into a conversation or two & really ...Im used to it, when you get bunch of ignorant people  around they will talk ignorant shit.

& I MUST MENTION....."Candy"...

This January I had a part time job at a hospital. that my niece (Jill's daughter) works at .....Shaunice is a spitting image of Jill, ghetto-country-hoodrat tendencies and all....

One day I was in the cafeteria... and Shaunice and some of her coworkers came in and sat at the table behind me to the left. I over heard them talking about gay people and Shaunice brought up me, because I was sitting not far from them. and that her aunt used to babysit me (the baldheaded one that was verbally abusive) and that I was always "like that"

I hate some black people sometimes....no joke.

& this manfaced LOUD female co-worker of hers   was saying how she threw out her son and how she gave birth to a male not a female and how I want to be a woman because of how I wore my hair.

As much as I wanted to go over and snatch every micro braid out of Shaunice's head and punch that ignorant bitch Chris Brown style.... I said a prayer and let it go (til now)

Shaunice linked to Jill linked to Aunt jean's bullshittin ass lies... I believe is God is letting her live  this long to give her a chance to apologize to the people she has wronged. because ....a 75 year old has no business being that negative to people, when you know you are a fall down the stairs away from death.

I'm not going to sweat it.......not only because they're stupid as fuck but because I'm better than that! & if anything ALL the shit they talk about me, has never been talked to my face....I can't blame them for being scared to talk to me, I might snatch off somebody's wig....

I've been dealing with bitter old stupid ass bitches all my life and if anything I'm immune to it. its sad that even family has to be at arms length or even farther... but as the saying goes " it is what it is".

I will never be ashamed of who I am.
I will never be ashamed that I'm 25 and have no kids
I will never be ashamed that I have never smoked weed.
I will never be ashamed that I have a high school diploma.
I will never be ashamed that I talk proper english.

AND...

I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED that as a gay man my hair , eye brows , nails, face outshine a lot of women.

So keep looking at me salty.


 
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Saturday, December 05, 2009 10:16 PM

Current mood:  loved

Everyday, every hour , every minute , every way
I think about you in some form
anytime, any where, any one, any reason
you keep my days so sunny and keep me from the storms

All the time I think of how its good to be
In love, & that I love- love & in return it loves me.

You keep me smiling when I feel like being sad
you remind me that things are never that bad
pleasing me internally making me always glad

The way you look at me & smile, when we have our quiet time
The smirk you give that unravels me, when I'm purposely out of line
Its easy to believe, you love me when you say it
its easy to achieve a love when you embrace it.

Simple, random and warm somethings.
thank you love, for the simple things.


Remember the time we went to the photobooth at the promenade mall & almost got caught making out?
Remember the numerous birthday cards saying the same thing, because its you I can't live without?

A conversation about nothing, turned into everything
a simple gesture,a kiss, that makes my soul just dance & sing
knowing that you think of me, the way I think of you
that you're in my corner, & your embrace makes me always warmer

In my eyes Im not the greatest, but you always tell me other wise
to the trashy & low lifed , Im always lower, but to you, Im a prize
for every moment, thank you- from the roadtrips to waking up to sunrise
Bless you my soldier, to make only happy tears come to my eyes.



The way you look at me & smile, when we have our quiet time
The smirk you give that unravels me, when I'm purposely out of line
Its easy to believe, you love me when you say it
its easy to achieve a love when you embrace it.

Simple, random and warm somethings.
thank you love, for the simple things.

 
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Wednesday, December 02, 2009 2:56 AM

Current mood:  artistic

pain is eminent, suffering you dont have to
love comes from all sources, but most of all if comes from you
an empty bed, a cold chair, a side of the room with nothing but air
its ok to be one, when two is a crowd
its ok to right side up rather than upside down.

is it better to be loved and lost than not loved at all?
is it better to be on earth & dream of Heaven than lose your wings and suffer a fall?
is it worth wanting to shut in from life, than wanting to go out less?
theres beauty in pain, there is love in loneliness

4 eyes that cry the same tears inside or out
try to make due with a rebound trick, that love is without
a changed number, cold heart but only you feel numb-er
because love is regurgitated- emancipated try to ignore the hunger

is it ok to not love - love?
is it ok to hate being 1 but cant keep a 2
is it ok to scan through emotions
when the only one hurting is you?

Take your time and enjoy the silence
take your time and enjoy the minus
Be good to you and the universe will bless
for there is peace, love and beauty in loneliness....



FOR ALL MY SINGLE PEOPLE OUT THERE!
had to write something ...damn. lol
 
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009 10:21 PM

Current mood:  good
Category: Life
if there was anything this year has taught me it would HAVE to be, dont take anything for granted! You only deserve the best  & I'm thankful for my bests

if God doesn't like whats going on, He can change it one way or another.

 
I can't believe racism still exists in the year 2009, but then again this is America, planet earth... people are hated for being Jewish ,Christian, White, Gay, Black, Fat, Hispanic (those are not listed in any order, lol)

this year ....I was on a many photoshoots, one in particular was in a studio , there were people from all over the country there . One of my GREATEST friends  was there with me as she was also part of the shoot ...we came across this blonde dumbass named Amanda from New York, she had this   A N N O Y I N G  eastern accent 

***side note, if you're a New Yorker, Massechussite,Jersey boy or girl or it or from that area your accent is NOT the best in the world ... neither is any other accent, and it sure as hell don't make you look or sound smarter...especially if you're a dumbass - Dumbass comes in ALL flavors of the tongue***

Anyway. AMANDA got into the discussion of race and how everyone wants to be white , how blacks straighten their hair to look like them and what not. I would say more but I really don't need to...

As much as I wanted to call that snaggle tooth bitch every curse name in the book & then some I just smiled and let it pass....


Ok lemme stop lying .

I simply told her blacks dont try to be white and people have the right to do as they please. Just like people of other races get lip injections, booty implants  and hair textures to make themselves feel better. 

I myself wear Abercrombie & Fitch... and when I go to the store I don't get ignored (maybe its because...ah hell I cant tellyou why) I even make new friends when I go to stores

*note: making friends in stores....can get you employee discounts on the low-low*

Its even gone as far as "what are you doing AFTER you leave the mall...maybe we can chill"...REALLY!

I KNOW I look better than alot of people who are the typical Abercrombie type....Hollister type, J crew type... I shop the ENTIRE mall when I shop  (exept for JcPenny & Sears, I may go in there but rarely find anything that doesnt look poor.

Sooo..... Amanda was getting red in the face due to the fact that I shut her ass down in a calm & classy non-ghetto manner. I could have easilly snatched a handfull of her nappy white hair but ....... I looked too cute for that.

So time goes by....I regret NOT slapping her and making it looking like an accident... I get a phone call & BAM! I find out she had been mouthing off around the wrong people and got a black eye and a fat lip. A money making face suddenly turned into a money taking hospital bill.

I was shocked when I heard about her in the hospital... I wanted to go see her and point and laugh but.....the mood & my schedule just wasn't right.

Besides if anything I'd like to meet the bitch who hit her! So I could shake her hand!

Its hard to believe people still are hung over RACE even in the gay community....which is why I dont associate much with the gays too deep, no offence but sometimes.....you just make me sick.

& New York is the most ethnically mixed state!If not its one of the most! If Amanda's crazy ass was that racist she needs to move to a small town where she can talk all the smack she wants to with people just as ignorant.

What happened to Jesus loves the little children..all the children of the world, red and yellow black & white they are precious in His sight.

The song doesn't just apply to children....think about that.




Its rather.....I can't really say annoying  but eye-roll worthy that 6 of my female friends are pregnant this year ....& NONE of them are married...

DIDN'T BEYONCE TEACH YOU ANYTHING?!?!?!?!

if you like it then you shoulda put a RING on it?
The VMA winning video was more than high fashion and hip choreography.

I am SO overly tired of these females who get with SAWRY ass boys & give themselves over to them quickly ...then as soon as he busts his nut he leaves you high and dry with a baby and possible stds....

Didn't MAURY teach you anything?

If you meet a guy or run into a guy that tells you you're hot and whatever and just looks at you like a piece of ass......tell him to go jack his bean stalk and THEN talk to you.

That will save you a headache
That will save you from unprotected sex or a condom breaking
That will save you from pregnancy
That will save you from having to deal with that STOOPID ASS mutha fucka who you can't stand after you get over how cute he is....
That will save you the pain from him not calling you back after he basically used you for sex.

They have way too many sex toys on the market, there is too much free porn on the internet for you NOT to take advantage.

its truly beyond me how women can watch Maury Povich " are you the daddy? " episodes then make the same mistakes.

Or how gay men know of the AIDS epidemic and still have unprotected sex.....Contrary to dumbass belief...AIDS aint sexy boo! After that nut is busted after those 3 hours- 3 minutes - 3 seconds or however long...if you dont know that STATUS - it will affect the rest of your life.

As for me, the only come I do is in a COMmitted relationship. & I truthfully don't care that I can't get married as a gay American...in a country where racism and sexism is still rampant you can't count on that! Don't count on others to make you happy...count on YOU to make you happy & lets not forget GOD. (as most of you know) I always wait a few months until I ....make love, I like hearing those words AND seeing them in actions  because I'M WORTH IT!

aren't you?   


as 2009 comes to CLOSE ....my 25th birthday parites ....*sigh  25  it just seems so far away but its here already!  I never imagined.....but here its coming and DAMN I still look good! Thank you mom for the Genes and Dad for the built body.











 
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 11:34 AM

Current mood:  relaxed
Category: Writing and Poetry
turn the stereo on
let the music stimulate
I want to kiss you so softly
as the mood begins to heat up
your bodys calling me so sweetly
wanting, needing good love we make...

Kiss me softly
put it on me
got me feeling
so horny

thoughts in my head
you in my bed
stroke my big ego
as we do what's best we know

got my body saying ooh ahh & yess...
you have the best slow jam sex..

light a candle
say my name
say it louder
such good brain

because you got that
pretty boy swag
you got that
thug appeal but such a gentleman
you got that
kiss that sets me high...feels like Heaven.

Can I interest you in more?
As we roll onto the floor...
kiss my neck, navel ring & go even lower... I want to know what happens next,

so let me put the track on repeat for slow jam sex.
 
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Monday, August 24, 2009 10:51 AM

Current mood:  thankful
Category: Life
Crying inside so happy tears of joy. I love the way you comfort me & call me baby boy,
Every sunrise, every moment, every blink of an eye so brand new, every opportunity of you & me - the chemistry... every time I look at you.
caress me, hold me & kiss me softly I , - close my eyes, as the floor falls beneath me & I began to fly, my love for you is making me, so high its breathtaking , every moment each new day,is an adventure in the making...

I feel so in love , & the fact that love, loves me back,
every time you kiss me softly...
I want to be in your arms prompty as we look down on the world & do all the things we used to dream of... Its the connection we have , you're my turtledove.

kiss me in the morning, touch me in the afternoon, wine & dine in the evening & make love to me underneath the moon...
if you catch me staring , its just for the capture , for my mind, for the times when I feel lonely at my 9 - 5, or when I'm in Japan while the US has my man while I'm on tour performing live.

I love everything about you, the little things the big things you do, its no mystery the joy you bring, & you're the reason I have this smile & the good thoughts in my mind...
you're the reason of questions .. I have yet the answer to find..

what's he doing right now?
is thinking of me too?
what's he gonna send me next out of the blue?

even though its been years...many hugs, kisses & even tears, sometimes when I look at you , think of you , how you're so fine, I just want that moment...forever when we kissed the first time.
 
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 10:33 AM

Current mood:  relaxed
Category: Life
I can't say what it was was really real.
I can't help at a point & time what I feel....sometimes.
Should have followed my friends advice & intuition
but I made an awful AWFUL decision...

Normally someone like you I'd just let admire...only call when I need dough or got a flat tire. To keep it really-real with you I wouldn't even step outside the door.

Only used you to even out an irrelevant score, I know I got that kind that has em' always wanting more ...should've been staight up & real ... I was better with the one I was with before , he knows how I feel.

He has the key to my heart, we meant to but never let it burn ...my pride got in the way so ahead of schedule I grabbed the page & tried to turn... but little did I know there was more to learn - love & respect to earn.

I held up my end more than I wanted & needed to, even though I couldn't see how or why I chose you- you don't measure up, can't pleasure up , too much pressure when you talk, too tacky, too wannabee , too cheesy is your walk.

I'm going to let you think....its my fault , let you think I'm the one defeated, but reality bites as what's done in the dark comes into the light..... I'm glad - on 12/27/08 I cheated.

As you told my so called friends back then... I was too much for you, while you kept quiet about it & was fake to me.
He was in town, dicked me down , up, left, right & around...& from horniness set me free...

I shouldve won an oscar for my performance , my performance of those days & nites , my intuition was tearing me up - tellin me that something wasn't right. When people who I called friends kept quiet about what I needed to know .... the one I then called my ex, gave me passionate sex & rekindled the flame...& our love once again did grow. Now he's no longer my ex--- I guess you can say it was in his plan...the lion tamed me , deflamed me & through his real love made me his man.

So please, go away like an old trend, it was fun but indeed it had its end! & you can have my old fake friends - yes it came..but there it went.
 
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Saturday, July 11, 2009 8:18 AM

Current mood:  animated



1) If he only knew how much he invades my mind with that cute swag.... from the tattoo on his left shoulder to his blue ride on rims.....eye candy, just unbearably shmexy. - I wonder? &...if he only knew!

2) my hair .......is going to be ATTACKED this weekend. I tried this lotion called PROFECTIVE- for hair moisture & growth. that shit works.


3) I'm looking forward to more photoshoots....but not looking forward to not getting sleep.

4) perfection is what I'm after.... but to many I already have it.

5) TONIGHT...... about tonight.
        
     a- Bruno was AWESOME
     b-Eric is crazy as hell!
     c- Riverwalk will never be the same again.- ever.
     d- Do not feed a certain chile taco bell from 51st and yale.....LOL!

6) I love the ideas I'm getting in my head..... they are SO out of this world.

7) After all the times I . . . . .have cravings about it . . . . I still can't get enough of it    imagining  how good it feels , to have my lips around it...hard , brown and so juicy it makes me shiver just thinking about it. The way it makes my lips juicy, feeling it and tasting it inside my mouth, the meat probing down my throat.... satisfying the very purpose of that good meat! ~ YES!   I had some popeye's chicken today and it was DELICIOUS!!!

(getcho mind out the gutta)




 
 
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 12:17 AM

Current mood:  gallant
1- Why is it that broke ass people with insufficient funds to THEIR NAME think they can fix a problem with a hot check?
This lady at the mall ..at the food court tried to pay for 3 slices of pizza from Sbarro with a damn CHECK!

A CHECK!

if your ass can't woop up 6 dollars and something cents, you may as well stay at home eat some cereal boo....better yet roman noodles cost .16 at wal-mart...
This lady tried to blame the problem on the clerk "HERE LET ME DO IT! DAMNIT!"
he tried 4 more times...

"THIS SHIT IS RIDICULOUS!!!! FREAKING RIDICULOUS!!" & the way she was yelling and screaming and panicking you could just tell the bitch had a wig on.

Like 3 minutes into her screaming a security guard came and basically DRAGGED her ass out of the mall.......................and I just starred and laughed my ass off, I seriously couldnt hold it in.

GETCHA MONEY UP PEOPLE. WHEN TIMES IS "HAWRD" YOU GOTTA BE HARDER,,,,LMAO!



2.  I love having fans.....

Prime example is this tramp who got to know karma when I wanted her to know my fist.....God takes care of people better than I can, and His timing isn't always a QUICK as mine, but when God gets people its SO much more deeper than a punch in the face. it really is.

So...

Keep trying to steal my poses.
Keep trying to steal my facial expressions
& remember ....I will ALWAYS rock me better :)
I'm like Thomas Edison, while you just screwed in a light bulb to reveal a hot mess.


classic Matt

Haters are indeed my BIGGEST fans. anticipating my every move ,and hanging on my every word. It does feel good.....it does!



3.  I may have some studio time coming up.....God willing *crosses fingers*

4.  Sex is always on my mind..........I wonder if I should take _______ .com up on that offer?  Then again, doing ________  is not a very classy thing, even if you're doing it with the man you love, its ok to some but to me......er-um, yous a hoe.
& how am I going to accomplish my goals  IF I have that hanging over my shoulder?

& for those who don't know let me give you a hint :

Yahoo messenger webcam.....valentine's day & nightsssss ...... Imagine getting paid to do THAT! lol as good as it was we should be getting paid, hmmmm........
 
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Monday, June 22, 2009 2:41 AM
A random moment of boredom, when I get bored...I write!

If I could turn back the hands of time ,
I would probably say yes
to get to know you more in 2004
do you remember when??..... Signs point to yes

I admit I was too shy, but you're my kind of guy
& now , man how we've grown, and you're so sweet to my eye
I stop time and wonder 'what if"
but time is just so slippery

I doubt sometimes, if you would even remember me.
I'm flashy, with my hair always changing from chanel to super chic
while you're just classic every day of the week
I wish I had a number in my phone for a certain red bone
but as life would have it.......I already belong to one.


Can't completely escape , the feeling I had
& the way it sticks to me, It seems like I got it bad -but
Like a throwback jam , you make throw you on like damn...
I can never get tired of....the essence of aquarius
 lite my fire and put it out, what if we are so envious?


Serious? I can see you with my eyes closed
with your high intellect and cute as hell clothes
always offering an inspiring word
& a beautiful smile
as natural as a bird.

Hopefully, I wish you the best
you will make a lucky man , oh so very happy
but baby, maybe next lifetime
you can have me.


 
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 12:09 AM

Current mood:  breezy
Dearest blog,

                 I know its been a long time, lol. well now Im back.

Lately things have taking a turn for the better! & I have nobody else but God to thank for it. The road looks clear and sunny ... so I'm putting the petal to the metal.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND 2009.

One of those....unforgettable things.

Mom and I flew to Dallas to see one of my 2 favorite aunts....& upon arrival I was so excited! I love how my aunt spoils me and gives me everything I want, and she always cooks and  has people laughing. Its good to be around GOOD family that makes you proud to have the same blood running through your veins. Dallas is a BEAUTIFUL city, the malls, the nightlife.....

Now on to the nitty grit :)

This weekend, SUNDAY. My cousin and I went to a club. I don't like clubs....why?

Let me pull a B.Scott and give you TOP 5.

5> I dont drink. by choice. I just find it not necessary. give me a pink lemonade instead.
4> There is always......ALWAYS some salty bitch trying to give me fever because I'm clearly better than him and or her.Otherwise why stare?You dont STARE at what you don't like...
3> I dont like being hit on, especially with ugly grammar & gold teeth.
2> Not everybody washes their ass. I DO NOT want to walk somewhere in that stuffy, dark place and walk into somebody's FART CLOUD, tart-coochie odor or smell a mutha fuckas rusty ass balls because he chose to wear shorts with no undies....
1> I already got a man, if I don't know you the ONLY benefit we're going to potentially have is shopping buddies, or maybe a background dancer for my secret project but thats a whole other subject.

ANYWAYS. I'm in this club with my cousin and her girls..... I dance with one of her girls (there were 3 of us plus me =4) and this dude saw me from across the floor....WHY .

WHY?

 W H Y did this joke ass Jiga come up to us, TOTALLY IGNORE her and come at me like " AYE SHAWTY LEMME HOLLA AT CHA"

 ----------wtf?

Dont you know I'ma DUDE? I thought I was in a str8 club everybody dancing was male & female couples....

I just turned around and he said again "aye lemme holla at chu doe!"

Uugh.... :|


& WHY IS IT  WHY IS IT that certain people like to say things at or about you to everyone openly yet they have the opportunity to say it to your face, but they prefer to be a punk ass bitch and don't?

I'm not going to call them out because they don't deserve the acknowledgement...AND

this IS all about me :) Im the star in this...

I recall this twitter:

" I really wanna tell a certain person to shut the hell up but I'm going to be "nice" and let him keep talking out the side of his neck"

hmmm..... How YOU doin?

& this was after I twitted to Wyatt. because I was bored.

FIRST of all, I will tweet whatever I want, whenever I want to whomever I want at any given point and time. & if anyone needs to "shut the hell up" its YOUR stank bitter, undesirable two-faced bitch ass. Was the @ reply directed to you? No it was not.

I very EASILLY COULD HAVE replied , but hey! I love the attention, don't know about divas? DON'T BE A "DUH-DUH-DUH-DUNT!" lmao!

& besides that what @ REPLIES are for!  When you get a man to settle for your trifflin ass you'll know what I'm talking about. YOU'LL KNOW :o)

This isn't high school musical heffa this is ADULThood and when you talk salty about me you're stepping in MY hood boo :) & whether  its positive or negative talk you're still kissing my ass & basking in my grace.......I bet you can't believe its not butter huh?


I know its not all females, but I specially love the ones who hate me for simply being me and having my blessings:)

As if the club couldnt get more trife...when I sat back down this table of hoodrats came in and sat at the table beside us. this one girl gave me a look like she knew me and then gave me a snarky look, then sat down and pushed her manface into her clique to share the news.....

How many times have I seen this before? Hmmmm....

then they took turns looking at me and I overheard "this fagget think he a woman" THIS coming from a butch bulldog looking bitch with a mustache thicker than mine....

I let it go for about ten minutes, let me build up my amo because I KNEW I had to put someone in check that night.


So I walked over and I said "excuse me I couldnt help y'all talking about me.... As you can see Im at the table right there....and lemme correct you on THIS, I'm NOT trying to be a woman, it aint my fault God made me so well !"

one of them then jumped up........and did the M E D I O C R E PLAYED OUT  thing that hoodrats do. try to get loud.

"aww hell naw this fagget bitch didnt!"

I SOOOO wanted to yank that tricks cheap ass hair out her damn head & pour the strongest drink over that scalp!

The shouting match lasted for a good 2 minutes, untill my cousin came over and poured a red drink all over that bitches white outfit, her cheap ass weave and her caked on makeup.

 *CLASSIC* you gotta love family!


I dont call them haters, I call them my biggest fans. & it seems that my fanbase is growing larger! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! lol




 
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Friday, May 01, 2009 10:25 AM

Current mood:  nerdy
Category: News and Politics
spring has officially sprung! With daily thunderstorm watches, flash flood watches....even severe wind watches. I somewhat missed the spring in Oklahoma... the rain & thunder. Just opening up my bedroom window & letting the sounds of the rain & whistling wind carry me to sleep :)

damn.... I wish I was in bed now!

in other news ... Today is May 1st ...friday. & every first friday someone special I know has a party :)

Eric, Nisha & Nick.... who drivin? lol I know I'm not. I can't fix my hair & make up & drive !

in other - other news......

yours & mine truly~ may be getting a special gift coming! Changes good changes , tis all I can say for now.

More to come laterrrr -ciao!
 
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009 4:14 PM
I'm not another one to be taken lightly
I'm not one to think I have to like or respect you, because you like me
I'm not another one that can't replace you, because you take me oh so lightly
I'm not another one that has just looks & no brains
I'm not another one that is so cookie-cutter, I'm not the same.
I'm not another one that isn't immune to pain
I'm not another one to think today & tomorrow feel the same.

Is this somewhat repetitious for you?
because of what you're used to?
because of what he said to she
she said to he
& it became filtered
& it came back to me?

the human mouth comes with no absolute lock
it can be sliced, diced, if not believed to be
It can be ignored & paralyzed through ignoring silence.
but don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

Just like me? Just like me?
then copy off the cliff's notes from him, her and she
common are not, often are we
lifeless as a corpse drifting in the sea

I'm not another one that sees you for the good.
I require the entire thing
I'm not another one that thinks you're so hood
because of what you're speaking

Is that a pink slip on your wall?
the date is long ago
is that your number on Macy's restroom stalls?
I was right, he was right, she was right. so Ludacris YOUS A HO.

I'm not another to get in where I fit in
I'm not another one to just take what I can't give.
I'm not another one who just lives.
I'm not another one to believe you

Was it not long ago, you tried to spite?
When you thought you were too strong , but really too weak to fight?
So not bright
discover the light
I love the one who treats me right.







 
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Wednesday, April 08, 2009 7:41 PM

Current mood:  bouncy


Dearest  blog

today I feel as if  I have to ...well not HAVE to, I just feel like, getting this off my chest.

Lately I've been bombarded by texts, phone calls, emails, IM's and str8 up walk-up-tos(from people who know I frequent the mall).

" Matt find me a man"

"Matt hyu doin blah blah blah.......I'm tired of being single"

"Matt I need a new strap on , I need you to pick one out with me."

"Matt how you get these mens?"

& it just goes ON & ON & ON & ON......

I just smile, laugh & look like we haven't already talked about it ( I'm good at that).

Why so Bitter?

Is it because you can't afford to just wait for the right opportunity for that one to come along & when they do ...see BEYOND their so called "flaws"?

Is it because all men/women are dogs? really ? Seriously?

Is it because you're too lazy to wait for that one to get your dick or coochie wet...so you instead go to some bullshit site like booty4days.com ..to inspect the creatures who sometimes don't even have a REAL photo of themselves up & to add to that you DON'T know if that person has std's upon std's...

Thats like going to the McDonald's Drive thru when you know that the Ritz actually has healthier & better foods, YES you will wait but its worth it.

- buhboo, just go to Xtube, getcho rocks off....& THEN see how interested you are after you already got yours. THATS SAFE SEX! lol


I can understand a different viewpoint but it comes down to this:

1. In order to get Mr. or Mrs. right , you gotta BE Mr. or Mrs Right.
- because Mr. Right now aint shit in the long run.

2. You gotta floss boo!
Everyday all-day, not just half but ALLLL the way! (okay?)
Even though I am VERY not single I still get looked at, hit on & stared at by guys...why?Because people like how I look, smell, my walk, how I smile when I'm on my celly , shopping bags in my hand, my bag that matches the shoes, my hair always whipt , my cologne just orgasmic & my million dollar smile...NO HONEY YOU DON'T JUST LOOK, you break ya neck in my direction & stay a while.

3. Confidence is key.

" I aint got no neck......he aint gon' like me"
" This gap in my teeth is stank then a mug"
" My jeans gotta rip in the back, and I gotta walk funny in public"

a "flaw" can either make you or break you ....& if you know me I'd say let it MAKE YOU.

SO THE HELL WHAT.

so the what you gotta Bald spot! Either cut it all off like Erykah Badu, get some hoop earings & pearls & ROCK IT. Or you can get a phat ass hair cut to cover it up. They have clip in & sow in weave for that shit.

So the hell what you got bad teeth!...well...I dunno know about that one.

So the hell what you live @ home! Thats just more money in YOUR pocket! I'd rather live in a luxury 4 bedroom condo with access to a pool, sauna & security gates.......than live in a shabby starter apartment with used furniture, roaches & rats as roomates ....JUST TO SAY    "All this is mine" ...pssshh....I'd prefer to be ballin, than CRAWLIN' , luxury is luxury. crap is crap.& Besides in THIS recession? If somebody tells you to get your own place  tell em' "Bitch buy me one"....& if they can't do that "Build me one" & if they can't do that then "shut the fuck up".

So the hell what you aren't that confident......ACT LIKE IT.

SO THE HELL WHAT YOUS A BIG BITCH! I sometimes get called "the fat bitches advocate" ....HELL if you're my friend Im anyone's advocate, but I DO NOT LIKE  when big girls have low self esteem and don't take care of themselves "woe is me"....what? WHAT? Honey chile Lane Bryant, the Avenue, Diva plus, they MAKE the clothes & Its one of my personal hobbies to go shopping w/ my thick Divas because TIS TRUE Lane Bryant doesn't always make the best clothes......but doesn't mean you cant accessorize it. That doesn't mean you can't take an ordinary Brown longsleeve top get some gold jewelry, eye shadow & 3 or 4 necklaces that accent your skin tone & the jewelry?

JAYNICE.....I know you like that look I hooked up for you girl!

& dont get a bitch started on some shoes.....LORD Jesus.

I can do an entire blog on my BLT's but Im not going to right now.

by the way BLT aint the sandwhich.... it stands for

BEAUTIFUL

LOVELY
&
THICK

2009 bitches get into it!

4. Rock your own world. Have the energy that OVERFLOWS with sexiness, attraction....& "Ooh you need to get summa this"
& if you can't do it off the man or woman in the mirror....pretend you're someone else & do it.lol



I personally am rarely ever single, & when I am someone new is ALWAYS in the works, ALWAYS.

the last time I was really single was back in 2001 after my bullshit drama in high school, it was then I decided Im worth more than bullshittin ass men.
My standards rose. for me & the company I keep.

If you allow yourself to accept failure, then failure is something you will see often. Change begins with YOU.

-ciao!
 
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