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Adam



Last Updated: 12/17/2007

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 30
Sign: Scorpio

City: Huntington
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/3/2003

Blog Archive
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Monday, July 30, 2007 
That sucks.
Thursday, April 12, 2007 
Quotes:

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative."

"There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president."

"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."

"Humor is an almost physiological response to fear."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"The chief weapon of sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was too late, how heartless and greedy they were."

"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything."

"Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey."

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."

An interview he did when he was on The Daily Show:





A Companion to that Interview, is the list of "Liberal Crap" he no longer wants to hear.



If reading's not your thing, go see the movie Mother Night, and if you can find it the Showtime Special "Harrison Bergeron" and if you're in the mood for an older flick, Slaughterhouse Five. If movies aren't your thing, then go buy everything you can by this man, especially Slaughterhouse Five, Cat's Cradle, Bluebeard and Breakfast of Champions.

Saturday, March 24, 2007 
some days fucking suck. i hate this.
Sunday, February 04, 2007 
I've had worse nights.
Sunday, December 31, 2006 
BoozeParade: virginia woolf is the winner, though.
Caro1ine: woolf wins, totally.
BoozeParade: stuffed her pockets full of rocks and walked into a lake.
fucking
determination
Caro1ine: it'd be funny if it was an accident.
like, i dunno, she had a rock collection.
and she accidentally dropped one, and went in to get it.
BoozeParade:ha
here's a morbid thought.
Caro1ine: (i love things that start like that)
BoozeParade: she probably stuffed her pockets with rocks because she knew she'd try to swim up once she started drowning.
which she means she probably died trying not to drown, but foiled by a less survival-minded version of herself from the past.
Caro1ine: oh, god!
BoozeParade: so what's your plan for new year's?


don't act like you've never talked about these things in this way, bitches.
Friday, December 29, 2006 
You can't snort the lord!

thank you reno 911
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 
... is the shit.

If you don't get it, then there's no hope for you.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 

I would like to state for the record that I take comedy very seriously. I take nothing but humor seriously. It is in this spirit that I present the following article, which has raised my hackles so supremely as to merit more than a simple brushing of the shoulders and clicking of the close window button.


Christopher Hitchens, your mother sucks cock in hell.


Why aren't women funny?


Let's be clear about a number of things... Christopher Hitchens, who is not funny, has written an article about how women aren't funny. His examples of funny women include Fran Lebowitz, who is also not funny, and Dorothy Parker, who is. He then says that Parker actually isn't funny. He calls Oscar Wilde a queer as some kind of funny qualifier, and ignores some of history's greatest comedians, namely: Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Sarah Silverman, Gilda Radner and the list goes on and on and on.


There is, without question, a societal imperative regarding humor that acts differently on men than women. But rather than sufficiently address the causes and effects of this imperative, he chalks it all up to "men want to get laid and women like a guy who's funny." and leaves it at that. Then he goes on to break it all down to childbirth. CHILDBIRTH!!! why? because Fran Lebowitz, who (remember) is not funny, called men childish. From there, Hitchens grabs at his GOTCHA! moment and goes "Ha! Children! It all comes down to the rugrats, don't it?"


This article is the purest, most purile drivel and to give it any more of my attention or this blog's precious real estate cheapens both myself and the value of intellectual discourse for the English language. I did, however, need to vent.


Fuck you, Hitchens, you vile and contemptuous sample of disease ridden petty elitist intellectualism made disgustingly and drunkenly flesh, you.

Thursday, November 30, 2006 
Not that anybody reads this, but my new profile song is the shit. It's by a dude whose solo work goes by the name of Dntel. He was also the guy who did all the music for The Postal Service with that dude from Death Cab for Cutie. Dntel and Postal Service are each some of the best music to come out of the past 10 years, in my humble.
Currently listening:
Life Is Full of Possibilities
By Dntel
Release date: 30 October, 2001
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 
best.
day.
ever.