There are two types of cheaters in the world - the Unemotional and the Emotional. Each has their own reasons for cheating and ways they go about it, but in the end, they both share one thing in common - infidelity, for them, is habitual. The way to avoid these people and prevent being cheated on does not start during a relationship, it takes place before your heart is invested. The key is in interpreting the clues these cheaters often use to give themselves away during casual conversation. Learn them, and you go a long way toward protecting yourself from these predators.

The Unemotional Cheater

The first type of cheater is the Unemotional Cheater. This person has been called all different kinds of names from time to time such as egotistic, narcissistic, big head, etc.; but it all comes down to the same thing - they're unable to love anyone else because they're too in love with themselves. They often show signs of this very early on - usually on the first night you meet them. If it's a man, he'll often come on strong, displaying a "you know you want me" kind of attitude. In women, it's the exact opposite - they'll tell potential suitors that they're "not easy" and the man will "have to work for it." Things like this should be a red flag. While a little bit of confidence looks good on anyone, too much, especially shown up front when the couple barely knows each other, can be a sure sign of someone who thinks too highly of themselves, and thus will not value their partners.

Want to recognize an Unemotional Cheater? Look for these signs:

Has high self-esteem

Extremely selfish; has a sense of entitlement

Displays haughty, arrogant behavior

Is a "control freak"

Comes from a dysfunctional upbringing - typically parent(s) who was alcoholic, addicted to drugs or an absentee parent

Prides themselves on being unemotional - equates feelings with "weakness"

Double standards - has impossibly high standards for everyone to live up to, but doesn't see the need to live up to those same standards

History of failed relationships

So what triggers this person's desire to be unfaithful? It typically happens when the cheater feels disappointed or let down by their partner. The Unemotional Cheater (HC) imposes extremely high expectations on their Unknowing Partner (UP) - expectations that the UP is unable to live up to. As a "punishment," the HC typically withholds sex from their partner and searches for it elsewhere, usually in a form of a clandestine secret affair(s). They're not likely to break up with their current partner because being "in control" is very important to them and they don't wish to lose the control they have over that person.

The Emotional Cheater

The second type of cheater could be called the "Emotional Cheater" because their reasons for infidelity is more emotional, but no less calculating. It's fairly easy to know if the person you're interested in might be an emotional cheater - they're the type who're already making wedding plans after some conversation and a couple of drinks. In a nutshell, the Emotional Cheater cannot be alone - they always seem to be with someone, and each new person they're with is their "one and only." These are the type of people who cannot break up with their current partner until they're already secretly in a relationship with someone else.

Think you might be dating an Emotional Cheater? Here's a few signs:

Has low self-esteem

Parents who were authoritarian/strong disciplinarian

Many short-term relationships

Naïve, fairytale view of relationships

Short courtship period; wishes to become "exclusive" almost immediately

Equates sex with love and acceptance

Sees relationships as being a "salvation" or "solution" to problems

Gets discouraged easily when relationship requires work

Don't like to be alone - go from relationship to relationship

So what triggers an Emotional Cheater's desire to be unfaithful? Looking at relationships as a means of "salvation," the EC often throws him/herself into the relationship with both feet - they typically over-commit too soon in the relationship, and speak of their Unknowing Partner (UP) in grandiose, all-encompassing terms. When the UP makes a mistake - such as leaving the toilet seat up or down or falling asleep before saying "I love you," this shatters the EC's fairytale world and they immediately begin looking to find a replacement before breaking things off with him/her. Thus, each new person they meet becomes the latest in a long string of "one and only" partners and the cycle begins anew.

What To Do …

So remember, when you're talking to the hot guy or gal in a bar, don't get stars in your eyes and take everything they say at face value. Instead, listen closely and pay attention to what they're really saying. A pinch of basic psychology and an ounce of cynicism is invaluable when it comes to determining a person's true motives. A relationship is a big decision to make, after all, and not one to be made lightly.

Stereotypes … they continue to exist because most are based in reality. Here's one that still holds true – some cops are nothing more than a bunch of hot-headed, power-hungry fascist bullies who abuse their power by taking out their aggressions on people!

Sometime last summer, Officer Rivieri, a 17-year veteran of the Baltimore Police, was captured on video verbally and physically harassing a skateboarder. The incident was surreptitiously videotaped by one of the skateboarder's friends and, naturally, made the circuit of YouTube and similar sites. A Baltimore area news reporter recently got wind of it, did a story, and now Rivieri has found himself the subject of an internal affairs investigation, and has been transferred to administrative duties pending its outcome. During this time, yet another video has surfaced involving Rivieri harassing another citizen, this time an artist from Washington DC.

Recently, six New York teens were arrested after a two-hour crime spree that police say was inspired by – yup, you guessed it – Grand Theft Auto IV! Now, I'm not usually a person who likes to say "I told you so," but …

Nassau County Police say that six area teens went on a crime spree after the noobs decided to emulate the game's "protagonist," Nico Belic, thus beginning the crime spree. Here are the "highlights" of their activities:

• Mugging a man at a bus stop near the park. The teens allegedly beat him and knocked out some teeth.

• Breaking into some sheds and garages, to steal baseball bats and crowbars. They then met up with a couple more teens and continued their rampage.

• The six then attempted some car-jackings in Garden City, where one of their erstwhile victims called the police. In other words, these noobs got pwned!

So, you still think allowing teens and pre-teens to play this game is a good idea?

I don't … and no long-winded rhetorical extolling the virtues of bonding with your children over video games is going to convince me otherwise. Why? Common sense! Kids are extremely impressionable and are often impressed by the gratuitous amounts of sex and violence that seem to be coming at them from every angle these days. From ultra-violent video games (such as GTA IV) to movies and music that's highly inappropriate, kids are being bombarded with the idea the victimizing others through the use of sex and violence is normal. What's worse, these notions have become part of "pop culture," thus giving the impression that "everybody's doing it," so it must be okay.

Even though examples of sex and violence permeate all forms of entertainment that kids are subjected to, these youngsters don't have the maturity to separate fantasy from reality. They're also too young to appreciate the rights of other people, and other people's property. More importantly, they don't understand the concept of cause and effect … until it's much too late. Unfortunately, in the game of real life, there is no reset button, save-game function or cheat codes to help you through. When you get busted … well … you're busted. Game over!

And we can't just blame the kids – it's the damn parents buying them these games.

In these days of broken families and eroding social values, parents are either blissfully unaware of just how much crap their children are into; or, they seem to be want to be their children's friend instead of being their parent. In the latter case, a game like GTA IV becomes a hot commodity, and any parent who purchases it for their kid gets an automatic "cool factor." And in regards the game's gratuitous sex and violence, responsible, level-headed parents have to hear the lazy parents' many justifications for this monumentally obtuse decision. To wit:

• "This is the only way I can bond with my kid."

• "I'd rather have him playing GTA IV with me at home, where I can monitor him, than playing it somewhere else where I can't."

• "All his friends are playing it, and I don't want my little angel to feel left out."

• "Unlike all the other kids, my kid is so uniquely intelligent and special that he/she can easily separate fantasy from reality."

I could go on at length with this nonsense, but you get the idea. It's just validation, justification and good, old-fashioned bad parenting.

So, to all the parents out there that still think GTA IV is a great thing for Little Billy or Baby Suzie, you might want to consider the fate of the six New York teens. If there's one thing we know about history – it's doomed to repeat itself. And please don't try that old canard – "That will never happen to my kid." I'm sure the parents of the "New York Six" said the same thing, up until the point when the police contacted them and said, "We have your son in custody."

If you allow your teen or pre-teen to play this game, check your motivations for doing so. Do you really believe this is harmless fun? Or did you buy him/her the game out of some lame-assed attempt at winning your child's approval?

If so, it's a classic case of "The tail wagging the dog," as my Uncle Glenn always used to say.

So Jeanne at work brings in those refrigerator-magnet words - you know the ones that are a variety of words - nouns, verbs, adverbs, preopositions, etc. - that can be arranged into messages, funny quips, and the like? Well, I couldn't resist ripping open the box and making pretensious little poems out of them. Here' is my first effort ... Enjoy!

Who would have thought that simply reposting a bulletin would bring the passive-aggressive traits of some of my friends to the surface?

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As those of you who know me know, there's always something – a spark, a controversy, a confrontation, or situation – that sparks off my blogs, and you'll be happy to know that this one is no exception. In this specific instance, it was merely reposting of a bulletin that was the cause of the shitstorm. To wit, it was this particular bulletin:

"No offense but... People are getting too fake on here.They only want pic comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually repost this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Repost this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake ASS Friends I agree Armand to many people do this for stats or just popularity. I'm being a "friend" and reposting this."

First let me say that I don't think this bulletin is a big deal. Most bulletins aren't. I mean, let's face it, how many "re-post" requests does the typical MySpace user receive in a given day? Most of them – particularly the ones that tell me that if I don't repost, I'll have relationship problems for a year – I don't even bother with. But ones that aren't so stupid, I'll take a minute to repost without thinking much about its message. Such was the case with this one. Little did I know that in mere seconds after I reposted it, it would apparently rankle some of my friends.

Now, I'm not saying that some of my friends have passive-aggressive personality disorder; one would need to be a licensed psychologist to make that diagnosis. I will say, however, that the reactions of some of my friends certainly seem akin to passive-aggressive personality traits, which everyone has, to varying degrees. At the heart of the passive-aggressive personality is their perceived fear of threats to their autonomy, i.e., their "quality or state of being self-governing; especially their right of self-government, or their self-directing freedom and especially moral independence." The typical P/A person "indirectly expresses anger and defeats others in order to preserve their autonomy in the only way he feels he can, because aggression is not allowed."

Now, here's how one simple bulletin – one that asks for people to repost on their own page – could cause great umbrage in those with P/A personality traits – they see the request to repost as a threat to their autonomy. In textbook passive-aggressive behavior, they're internal perception was that to perform the task at another's request – which they view as a "demand" – is a demeaning insult to them; but, instead of simply ignoring the bulletin (as most will do), they took the time to e-mail me to let me know just how stupid the bulletin was in the first place, perhaps in an attempt to make me look like the fool for having posted it.

But it's not me ... it's you!

Now, I know that in posting this blog, the friends that I'm referring to will no doubt become upset with me. Some, in classic P/A fashion, might even attempt to get back at me in textbook P/A ways – obstructionism, fostering chaos, feeling victimized, procrastination, etc. But if what I say is true, they've been doing this all along, as in the old axiom, "A leopard cannot change its spots."

Perhaps I should have left well enough alone, you might be thinking? Perhaps. But that's just what a P/A person would want. They'd love it if I internalized the blame and said, "Gee. He's right. That was a stupid bulletin. Whatever was I thinking." But I'm not about to do that. I feel that they're negative responses to the bulletin says more about them then it ever will about me. And if you're one of my friends who's reading this and might be offended, I ask you to stop and think about what I've said. If you're offended, then there must be some truth in my words. Perhaps you do have some strong P/A traits and deep down inside, you know you do. Or, to put it another way, "If the shoe fits …"

Since so many friends and co-workers have asked, What is this Lions Den organization you belong to? Ive decided to post a blog that will perhaps explain my involvement with what I believe to be the best darn fraternal organization there is.

The Lions' Den is a fraternal organization of brotherhood based in Midland County, Michigan. Our numbers fluctuate from time to time, but the core group remains intact, as does the group's message: We leave no lion behind! It is with this noble thought as our beacon that we Lions are there to help our brother lions whenever one has a thorn in his paw, so to speak. As Lions' Den members, it is incumbent upon us to rally round our fallen brothers and give them the strength, encouragement and hope they need to keep on keeping on. In other words, we endeavor to persevere.

The Lions' Den had its humble beginnings in 1998 when a group of forward-looking divorced men recognized the need to band together to provide each other with the moral support that is much needed during such trying times. The group quickly evolved into a cadre of fun-loving desperados who saw the importance of creating an outlet for fun and camaraderie in the otherwise boring town of Midland, MI. The group based its operations from a now-famous house on Poseyville Road, which, on one night of drinking and debauchery, I remarked, "This isn't a house; it's a lions' den!" The name stuck, and the phenomenon was born.

Since then, our President (who is a very well known and well liked resident of Midland) has relocated to Burns Rd. in Sanford, but most Lions' Den parties still go down at the original Poseyville Rd. address, as we have a member known as "The Lions' Keeper" still living there. Members of The Lions' Den have also been known to hit many of the local drinking establishments - i.e. Oscar's, Club 20, Northern, The Overpass Bar, and even that "bucket o' blood" known as The Country Lounge (when it was still open). In other words, when the Lions are in town, a good time will be had by all, as anybody who's ever partied with us can attest! (New Year's Eve at Club 20 was quite the adventure, let me tell ya!)

I think it's important to note that The Lions' Den is accepting new members, as is the League of Lionesses, our women's auxiliary. Those interested in becoming a part of something that's both fun and worthwhile, feel free to contact me.

Johnny Payback

Vice President

The Lions' Den

Friend collectors ... annoying byproduct of this wonderful new thing we all call MySpace, or narcissistic behavior of the insidious forces of todays society? I vote the latter!

Perhaps I'm being naiive, but when I approach someone and ask them to add me to their friends list, I'm doing so because there's something about that person that I find interesting. Be it something as simple as the way the look, or more complex as a shared interest, there's always some reason why I want to add them to my friends list. I expect that, at least on some level, I will engage in some form of conversation with said people, getting to know each better, sharing a few laughs and bridging the gaps that separates us all, as the technologically advanced cavemen (and women) that we are.

It seems to me, however, that there is a growing group of people on MySpace who are collecting "friends" for the mere sake of, well, having more friends. It's these people that I call "friend collectors." They'll add people that they have no intention of talking to in some pathetic way to make themselves appear popular. There used to be a saying that went, "Whoever has the most toys, wins." Now, it seems that axiom could be replaced with, "Whoever has the most friends, wins."

It has become apparent that we live in a "celebrity culture," where Americans have become obsessed with knowing every possible detail about their favorite TV and movie stars. This narcissistic star worship has transitioned into people trying to become celebrities themselves, hence the popularity of "reality" TV. (Why else would someone be willing to make an ass of themselves to the whole world? It can't be the money!) I'm afraid that "friend collecting" is yet another step in this cycle - the "celebrities" of MySpace are those who have the most "friends" added to their list.

Enough is enough, I say. I only plan to add those people who are willing to communicate with me, at least once a week. If you cant do that, then do yourself a favor and dont add me. I dont want to be a member of your little online worship group, regardless of how good your boobs might look in a low-cut blouse or bikini top!

Friend collectors are the scourge of MySpace.com, and they must be stopped. Its us against them!