Some folk's kids have a whole lotta nerve.  Now those who have been reading me a while know that I have been playing the dating game for YEARS and have sucked at it, royally.  Recently I met someone that I totally gel with, it's been awesome and I have no complaints......

Since I've made the fact that I'm in a relationship very public, a few of the dead head jackasses that I've dated have the NERVE, the unmitigated gall to actually catch a tude because I've moved on, found someone and am minding my business and not dealing with their drama.  It's the classic case of "I don't really want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either."

I wonder why some people think they are so made of gold that people are supposed to sit around and wait for them to get their shit together and continue to take whatever random ass madness they choose to bring.  I once told someone that if you leave a door open, don't be all shocked n shit if someone else walks in.  That, to me, sounds like plain old fashioned common sense but you know what is said about common sense "common sense ain't so common."

It seems to me that if someone really wants something or someone it should not be so hard to man or woman up and just do the damn thang instead of playing the games.  So many people want to have their cake and eat it too but then get pissed when the bakery closes down.  That is juvenile shit.  Grown folks talk about how "real" they are and how they do as they please but when someone they thought they were going to be able to string along, moves along, they get angry.  The reality is, what they should be pissed about are the things they said they were going to do but didn't, the self serving behavior they exhibited regardless as to how it affected others and the bottom line being, you snooze you lose. 

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, we are responsible for the decisions we make, the world revolves around none of us and people are only going to be treated the way they allow others to treat them.  My mom used to say "stick with something until you are so sick  and tired of being sick and tired that when you walk away, you won't want to turn back."  She was a wise woman.  I tend to follow those rules, could be why I seldom went back to exes ( no need to go backwards when going forward is an option) and there is no sense in staying in negative, parasitic relationships whether happiness is right there or not.  I learned I'd rather be alone than deal with some .. okay MOST of the bullshit that I was dealt.  Now that I've found someone who makes me happy, there have been no shortage of people who have tried to make me feel guilty for it by "not giving them a chance".  PLEASE!!!  What I didn't do is give someone my best who was only willing to throw me a bone and I'm glad I held out and got what I wanted versus what someone thought I should have. 

I have often wondered why, when it's too late that people offer what they should have been offering and doing in the first place?  Don't get me wrong, I had a feeling that a few people were going to be butthurt when I moved on but they had their chance so all I can say to them is that if they are truly butthurt that maybe they are hurt enough that the next time they meet someone that they think they are interested in, they will leave the games at Toys R Us and act like they have some sense. 

So, what say you??  Have you found that when you have chosen to to enter into a relationship, those "some-timey" folks want to come sniffing around your door and if so, why do you think they believe it will work?

The last few days I've sat here and started to blog and I'd get sidetracked.  Bigtime.  Today, however, lent itself to such a comedy of errors that I had no choice.  I was left in a state of "wtf are people thinking?".

In case you are unaware, I live a pretty strict, low carbohydrate lifestyle.  I lost a ton of weight that way and that's how I've managed to keep it off.  I try and shy away from bread, pasta, refined sugars and things like that but I have what I thought was a healthy addition, Tazo tea lattes from Starbucks.  It seemed logical to me, tea, half n half, splenda...yeah that works.  So, the last week or so I have been drinking them like they are going to be discontinued.  Today, I get on the scale and I was up about a pound.  I was like "what the hell"?  So, I kicked back, did some reflecting to try and see what I could have possibly eaten that would have thrown me off.  I couldn't come up with anything so I decided to research my beloved tea latte to find out what ELSE was in it.  Come to find out, they have this syrup they mix with the hot water that is, pretty much, liquid sugar and a LOT of it. 

So, I sat back and thought of all the times that I ordered my latte with splenda (sugar substitute), at NO time did anyone offer me the option of the sugar free syrup, which they have.  No.  The made my latte with SUGAR then for good measure, dumped my sugar substitute in it at the end because I ordered it with splenda.  Needless to say, I found my sugar source and was pretty pissed because it seemed pretty fuckin defeatest to ME to have sugar and splenda in the same cup *sigh*.

If THAT wasn't irritating enough, I decided to go and get my nails done.  I don't usually go to the Asian shops to get them done because the last pedicure I got at one, I also got a nasty infection in my toe from unclean tools.  I was just knocking about today so I decided "what the hell, I'll give it another shot".

My pet peeve about going to those places is the fact that in front of customers, the manicurest there will speak in their native language and I think it's rude.  Today, I got one that was bilingual.  When he spoke to ME he'd speak in English but when he spoke to HIMSELF he would speak in his native language.  As a matter of fact, the whole conversation he had with himself was in his native tongue. 

Okay, I'm in the chair and he's just filing and talking (in his language to himself), then he would look at me and say "you know what I mean?", I'm like "NO!! I Don't know what you mean" and he starts going on about how no one understands him and that he played the charade called "love" and starts going on and on again in his language, takes another break and says "right?".  HUH??!!! Hell I dunno if he's right or NOT!  I thought maybe he was being philosophical so I asked him if he liked to read.  He answers that he does and I really thought, "Now we're getting someplace".  I asked him what he likes to read and he says.......... "books". 

These random shenanigans continue while he shapes, buffs and polishes my nails.  Greaaaaaaaat.  Nails are finally done, and I look down and was very happy with the color I chose and the job he did so I looked down at my nails and said "Ty!! They're beautiful!!" and he responds "Beautiful down there?"  so, I look down at my toes and say "OMG yes! My toes look beautiful too, thank you" and again, he looks at me, drops his eyes and says "Beautiful down there?"

Now I have figured out that this dude understands English much better than he speaks it but I guess that right at that moment, I didn't understand English as well as he did until the two people in the pedicure spa chairs start busting out laughing as the guy drops his eyes to lap level and again says "Beautiful down there?"  Then it dawned on me, he's looking in my lap and asking if it's "beautiful down there?" Oh for Pete's sake....all I could tell this dude was that if he didn't rub, buff, file or polish it, don't ask about it.........lmmfao!!!!!  He laughed and he and all of his personalities resumed their conversation.

See, now, I was really glad that my boyfriend wasn't there, had he been that conversation would have gone a whole different direction but people wonder why I go to school and stay in the house........it's to avoid CRAZY FOLKS!!! 

Soooooooooooooooo how was your day? LOL

Okay a lot of people are buzzing about the Mississippi school teacher, Carla Hughes that was found guilty in the murder of her lover's fiancee and unborn child.



She was wrong as rain if she is truly guilty but what annoys me the most is that she's being brutally blamed for the affair....I wrote about this on my personal website, hop over and give it a read.  Oh and while you're there, go ahead and please subscribe so when I do stuff over there your posts wont pend moderator approval.

It's That Bitch's Fault! For Real?

You know, since I've been single, I have been playing the dating game and not playing well apparently.  Then I stopped and re-read, comments and things from my readers and I think a bunch of us have been so knocked around that we should be lined up in the dented and ding section at Sears.

Of all the baggage that I think we carry around, the dysfunction that I think we drag from relationship to relationship the most is distrust.  It's easy to decide that people are shit but it's not so easy to let our guard down and allow them to become sugar again.  It's like you meet someone you totally click with and instead of being totally excited at first, the feelings inside are more like

Whoo lets give it a whirl, It's yo cover gurl Stang on the 1's and 2's re-mixin (insert timely pause here) YO shit!!
Umm okay, that was fun.  Now you know why I write and I'm not a DJ....ha ha. 

There is a new ailment going around and I hope I NEVER become afflicted with it, the virus is called blogbyteitis, to sound that out it's BLOG-BYTE-ITIS.  Meaning, some people are strugling with the creative concept of writing their own blogs and "remixing" other people's shit without their permission or giving them credit.  I was remixed 3 different times in two different places (yup, one place remixed me twice by two different authors) in a week and a half.

Here's the deal.  I don't know about anyone else but I write because I enjoy it.  I think there are almost endless topics to cover and almost an infinite number of thoughts on any particular one.  People usually form an independent thought by:

1.  Reading Articles or Opinions
2.  Listening to Conversations
3.  Research Materials
4.  Radio
5.  Television
6.  Good Old Fashioned Logic and Common Sense

If a person is incapable of making one of those work, maybe they should consider reading and not writing editorials or instructional blogs, maybe childrens stories would be a better alternative, that way not much has to be written and the use of picture could overcompensate for ones lack of creativity.

I think it's fine to get a topic idea from another writer, sometimes we all need a jumpstart but I think it's important that even if one chooses the same topic as someone else, that they allow their own personality, thoughts and opinions to come through loud and clear.  Changing or misspelling words to make them recognizable only by the urban dictionary does not mean it's original work.  I've seen people get perfectly good F's on papers in school for simply ad-libbing someone elses work.

I love to read blogs but I get tired of reading blogs that feel like I just read them someplace else.  I don't know about others but it annoys the hell out of me.  For the record, I HATE to have my shit remixed without permission.  I think whether it's a piece that is random or well though out and researched it's still mine.  To "remix" my shit to try and land in the blogging top 10 or whatever is haterism in it's truest form. 

People have to pay people royalties and buy licensing rights to use their music or other creative work in remixes, so the next time you wanna "bring that funky track back", maybe it should just entail you hitting the "repeat" button on the mp3 player and leaving people's writings alone.

Am I being overly crabby or does there seem to be shortage of creativity in the blog world lately?

Okay, someone turned me on to this.......

..

Okay so now you tell me, are you offended?  If so, why?

Okay, I'm back to "guy logic" versus "girl logic" or shall I say it's the "I will say anything to hit that" logic versus "He must be crazy" logic...

I have a myspace friend that has been married for a long time and thus far we have managed to maintain a platonic, online relationship.  Well, today out of the blue, he professed to me that he's had these dreams of performing oral sex on me.  He didn't want to have intercourse nor did he want me to perform oral on him, he just has a "desire" to pleasure me.  Well, in true Stang form, I tactfully told him that if he took same desire and turned it to his own bedroom that he might not have the desire to persue some "strange" (unless he's just really bad at it and felt like he needed a 2nd opinion).  I told him off tops that I don't get intimately involved with men who have women in their lives, that's just too much drama for me and I am not going to be a party to some guy cheating on his wife.  That is when he told me that "eatin ain't cheatin".  In case you missed it, he said "eatin ain't cheatin".  Since WHEN??!!!

I know that I have my own antiquated beliefs about intimacy, sex and the whole nine yards but now I was in a position that I got to act out a little bit.  I told him that if everyone in HIS house was on the same page that "eatin ain't cheatin" than maybe he needed to get a permission slip signed by his wife that she felt the same way.  He responded by telling me that she wasn't going to produce such a document because he didn't have to tell her all his business.  *Sittin here with a crazy look on my face*, so I further explained to him if he can't tell his wife that he wants to engage in fine dining and his wife would not sign off on a permission slip for him to take this triple "x" field trip that my guess would be that she does not share in his philosophy that "eatin ain't cheatin". 

Now you know I'm a nosy bitch so I asked him what he'd do if he came home and she was giving some guy head, would he consider that cheating?  He absolutely cracked me up when he said that if she's givin some dude head, the next meal she ate, she'd be gumming soup.  I busted out laughing and said that I know of plenty of men who wouldn't mind being sucked off by a woman with no teeth because then a guy would not have to deal with a toothy "oops".  He promptly didn't want to talk about his wife giving head anymore because he then admitted that if she was giving some other dude head that she was doing for a random dude what she didn't do at home .  This conversation was getting to good for me to just step away from because then I was floored........"Your wife doesn't give head?" I asked him and he said "I don't know what she does when she's not home but she don't give me none".  So then I wondered if she gave head before they got married and he said no.  I wanted to know why, if she didn't give head before they got married, if he expected for that to change after he said "I do". 

I made that mistake ONCE in my life.  When I dated and married my ex husband, he didn't give oral either.  My friends razzed me so badly, they wanted to know how, if he didn't give oral, how he got a ring on my finger in the first place.  As years went on, I rectified that problem and quite well I might add , by the time we were divorced, he had NO problem doing it.  I decided though that a man giving oral was going to be a mandatory requirement for getting into a relationship with me.  I don't mind guiding men to do the things that I like but I'll be damned if I'm going back to teaching remedial freakyness 101. 

Okay, back to dude, the conversation took a turn and headed straight down hill.  He decided that since I was "too stuck up" to allow him to perform oral on me that I was somehow stuck up and thought I was too good for a guy like him.  I again explained to him I was only too good for him if HE thought I was but the bottom line is that I don't fuck with dudes who have wives, girlfriends, women who have reason to think they're girlfriends or men with women who believe they have him as a husband.  I found it absolutely hysterical that when I said no to him going down on me in some random trist that he thought it was ME who had sexual hang ups and was flawed in some way.  It really never dawned on that fool that I was not the one trying to get some person that I had never had offline contact with (including phone) to prop up a pair of random legs for an adulterous interlude.  He contended that the only reason I had not chased some random piece of ass was because I had low self esteem.  *Cracks head on keyboard*

I was lucky this time because other than being a bit fridgid and stuck up, I wasn't all kinds of bitches and ho's.  That was a bonus.  Don't get me wrong, I like....okay, LOVE oral but I don't like WIVES or GIRLFRIENDS that I am 100% sure would end up either in my myspace inbox or on my phone!!  As Dayna would say, this is, without a doubt, another episode of "What the hell is wrong with people".  I know that I'm single but I really do believe that there are enough single men out there for me to voluntarily get involved with someone who has a significant other. 

What I'm not sure he realizes is that by even making the offer, he showed me his "I'm a dog" card.  If he acts this way and he's married, I can't help but think that WHEN he finds himself single, he's not someone I could get down with because I really believe that if a person wants to cheat on their significant other with me then if they were WITH me full time, he'd repeat the behavior.  Some women think that by being attractive or together enough to turn the head of a married or involved man that she is somehow "better" than the woman he's with but the truth is, when she gets with him, in time he will repeat the behavior and find someone better than she is too........that sounds like pure  common sense to me.

So, now I have to ask, would you give or receive oral from a person that you KNEW had a significant other?

With all of the recent publicity surrounding the current state of public schools in major cities, I have been meaning to write this piece for the last few weeks but just keep getting sidetracked.  I am not one to jump on just any old bandwagon that passes my door nor am I a devout conspiracy theorist but recently I have heard and read up on some information that is, without a doubt, food for serious thought.

Some countries used to decide what occupation a person would enter by using a standardized test.  What you scored on that test would determine what occupation a person was going to do to earn a living.  If a person scored high enough, they would be allowed to receive higher education and enter into a professional arena.  If they scores were not high enough then the test taker would be remanded to a life of manual labor.  I am beginning to think that we are doing something very similar in the U.S. but using a different method.

28 states have passed legislation to allow for the existence of privatized prisons.  Those are prisons that are not state owned or state funded per se however they are allowed to bill the state or federal government for the care of the inmates.  Many of these corporations are now planning how many more prisons they will need to build based on 3rd and 4th grade reading scores as there has been a direct link established between lack of education and the crime rate.  Most inmates do not possess a high school diploma upon their entry into the penal system. 

That said, I think that there is a weeding out process taking place in the public school systems in most cities.  Classrooms are overcrowded, students are exhibiting negative and sometimes dangerous behaviors and many public schools have cut funding for advanced placement programs to try and meet the educational need.  This weeding out process allows for some children to be voluntarily bussed to suburban schools to receive an education.  For those children who are not bussed but show some sign of academic promise, there is the opportunity for them to test and then be placed in a lottery system to attend a magnet or charter school.  Some of the magnet and charter schools are funded by the public school systems and some are private.  Along with the students that are going to the magnet or charter schools, so are some of the best teachers.  They are going to the magnet and charter schools because the class sizes are smaller and they are less dangerous.  Many of the teachers who have transferred believe that it gives them a better opportunity to educate.  Finally there is the option of attending a parochial school, there are scholarships available for those whose families cannot afford tuition.

Now, lets step back and take a look at this, you start with a school system that has good teachers and educable students, start taking the "best" of the students and the teachers and filter them out, leaving the "rest" in the pubic school system.  Many of those who are left eventually drop out and end up where...you guessed it, in prison.

It's a known fact that slave labor was used in the U.S. because it was inexpensive.  When that was no longer legal, many businesses and corporations began using inexpensive immigrant labor or shipping their industrial work to countries where workers get paid pennies on the dollar and the company can still receive tax incentives.  Enter the prison systems, public and private.  The average inmate makes approximately $15.00 every two weeks working a job at the prison during their incarceration, that's $30.00 per month to manufacture goods that are then resold by large companies.

Some companies that benefit from the use of prison labor include Chevron, IBM, Victoria's Secret, Texas Instruments, Honeywell and Motorola.  The federal prison system trades under the name Unicor but the private prisons stand to benefit the most from inmate labor because they get first crack at the contracts since they have to raise most of their operating costs on their own. 

In my opinion, we have managed to create a new type of "involuntary servitude" or "slavery" if you will.  Most of the immigrants and overseas employees are making more than thirty dollars a month so it's actually less expensive for those companies to contract with prisons to make their goods.  I think that the "system" has found a way to isolate those who are the most "at risk", under-serve them by "educating" them in crowded classes, sub par building conditions with ill equipped teachers with the hopes that the data remains correct, those who do not complete high school are more likely to transition into the prison system.

I completely understand that committing a crime and going to prison is a choice that's made by a person but face it, many kids are raising themselves, baited by the temptation of "fast money" and in some other cases, trying to help support the family.  Those are not always the case with someone who is doing time but the reality still exists big business stands to profit in a big way on the backs of undereducated people, especially minority men. 

I can't say that if was not for inmate labor that those jobs would be available to the American worker because it's obvious that big business will find cheap labor but I do struggle with the idea that certain groups are singled out to self distruct.  It's almost seems as if a family is not able to get their child into one of the funnels that takes them into an alternative school setting that those children end up in a whole different funnel and that funnel leads to $30.00 per month.  Hence all of the lobbying that states and large corporations do to ensure access to privatized prisons.

So, what say you?  Do you think that disallowing big business to partake in the benefits of inmate labor further put our "at risk" youth more at risk than they started out or are some of these links sheer coincidence?  Second question is, would big businesses be as motivated to USE inmate labor if they had to relinquish a percentage of their profit and donate it to the local public school systems?

If you want to read more about this, I found a really good article on the use of prison labor and the economic impact it has on society.  Prison Labor Cheats Society

Umm, okay, I have gotten all kinds of mail but I think this one just MIGHT take the cake for most original.......

"HEY THIS IS MR. LOVE'S COUSIN AND I MANAGE HIS MYSAPCE WHILE HE'S IN PRISON. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND U THAT HIS 34TH B-DAY IS OCT 6TH NEXT TUESDAY. PLEASE BE SURE TO LEAVE A COMMENT AND IF POSSIBLE SEND HIM A CARD. WITH HIM BEING IN PRISON , A CARD WOULD PUT A SMILE ON HIS FACE!! BUT WHAT WOULD BE BETTER IF U COULD WOULD SEND HIM A SEXY PHOTO OF YOU (NO NUDITY) PLEASE , THE PRISON WONT ALLOW IT. HOW ABOUT SHOW HIM SOME REAL LOVE AND SEND A PICTURE OF YOU WITH A WHITE SHIRT ON AND WRITE ON IT (FREE MR. LOVE ). NOW THAT WOULD REALLY SHOW MY CUZ SOME LOVE. WELL BE BLESSED AND DONT FOR GET MR. LOVE'S B-DAY."

I'll be damned, I can't even afford an admin to run my shit, let alone pic hustle for me .  Although it is a valiant effort, I think I'll just leave my happy birthday on dudes page and his cousin can send him a kite....damn did I say that?...LOL, his cousin can just give him the message.  There, is that better?

I know there is that book that "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" but the reality is that is so inaccurate.  The title of that book assumes that men and women are from the same solar system.  That is so incorrect.  Men and women tend to do things much more differently including, not limited to but especially communicate.

We women have a code that is not hard to figure out.  If it's a daily chat about current events, then it's a talk.  If it pertains to something bothering is, then it's a conversation.  If it's an exchange with our significant other about something we think they've done wrong, then its a discussion.  Finally, when we are convinced that we need to have a banter and things are going to go the way we are getting ready to dictate, then it's a TALK.  I know that I used "talk" twice but you have to understand the inflection.  The one in all lower case is a casual dialogue, the one in all caps is the one that most men try to avoid.

Men, they do things a whole different way.  If it's a chat with a woman about current events it's the opportunity for them to nod their head, hope we get to the point so they can go back to what it is they would really rather be doing.  If it pertains to something that is bothering them it's their problem and would rather figure it out themselves and wish we would just shut the fuck up and quit asking so damned many questions.  If it's that exchange with their significant other about something that they are sure is going to end up being their fault no matter what they say or how they try to defend their thoughts or actions, it's time wasted because they think they already know the outcome. Finally, if it's that conversation where they think their woman is getting ready to dictate some shit, it then becomes a conversation with their boyz about how we are not runnin shit but our mouths and that he's grown and will do as he pleases.  See how that works? 

Guys, there is no way around the obvious, we women want to have a verbal exchange about EVERYTHING.  Period.  Nothing is a simple yes or no, everything has to have an explanation, reason or excuse none of which can be achieved without talking about whatever it is.  If you come home from a long day at work and announce that you need to run to the store, it would seem that we should just say okay and let that be that.  No such luck, we are, without a doubt going to want to know why you didn't go to the store on your way home.  If you called on your way home and said that you needed to stop by the store then we are going to want to know why you didn't tell us what you wanted from the store when WE went to the store the day before.  See?  Everything is a conversation.  It's not just because we want to be nosy, although that is a huge part of it but what we are actually trying to figure out is why don't you all do things the way WE would have done them.  As much as we talk, you'd think we would just ask you all that question directly but then that would require you all to give us an answer and the reality is we can't hear your shoulders shrug and we kind of know that's the answer we are going to get.

A man can come home after a long hard day at work and say "Damn, I've had a long ass day".  I think men would like it much more if we said "Aww baby, I'm sorry to hear that" then do something nice for him to make him glad he's home.  Nope, that's too much like right, we want to know WHY his day was so long and hard.  That's right, women insist that you live that long hard day twice, once in real time and the second in the play by play we want when you get home.  Why do we do that?  Because we ASSUME you all are thinking like us and want to talk bout it......most of the time it does not cross our mind that your day has been long and hard and you just want it over, we're sure that you want to process out your day just like we do.  I know, we're wrong again.

One of my favorites is when a guy is outside working on his vehicle or something else mechanical that we may know nothing about.  He can be outside cussin up a blue streak because the fix is not nearly as easy as he thought it would be.  More often than not, we approach him and his project empty handed with the million dollar question "Baby, what's wrong with it?"  That leads him through this long ass mechanical explanation that inevitably ends with us asking "Can you fix it?"  Common sense would tell us that if it were that simple, it would be fixed already or damned close and he wouldn't be cussin.  If he has to say "no" then we've just pissed him off by making him admit that he's been working on something all day that he can't do shit about.  Trust me ladies, he really appreciates that. 

Men typically don't like to discuss their financial troubles with us either.  Why?  Well, I think it's the same reason that my dad didn't like discussing financial issues with my mom, after he went through all of that explaining, she wasn't going to offer to get in her pocket so he thought it was pretty much a waste of time . 

The biggie is when it comes to discussing relationship issues.  We women LOVE to talk about what the current relationship status is, where it's heading, how long we've been headed that way, what each of can do to make the trip more pleasurable and why we've not been able to get where were going in a lot less time than it's taking us to get there.  Every day.  Ladies, the guys dig us, they really do but more often than not, they are not going to analyze our relationship the way we do they do it a little more like this...if they meet a woman, go out, she kisses him he knows she likes him.  He doesn't need to talk about that.  If they have been dating a while, they have sex, he likes her and the sex is good and he says something like "you know that pussy's mine right? Don't be givin that shit to anyone else", then he's established that you're exclusive.  When you get pissed at him and quit givin him the pussy, he knows there is a problem, when he starts gettin the pussy again, he knows the problem has been solved....lmmfao.  See how that works?? 

So what's the fix??  The reality is there isn't one really.  It's been my personal experience that women and men really can discuss their problems but we need to just use fewer words.  I don't say that to insinuate that men are remedial or dumb, that's not it, they really just don't wanna hear a lot of unnecessary words.  It's been my experience that they want us to just get to the damned point.  Kind of like we were taught in school, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line....we women seem to like to take the scenic route.  All the time...ha ha

I feel totally justified in putting it all out there like that because I am guilty as the day is long....so, guys tell me, do you think we women talk too much most of the time??  Ladies, can you admit that we talk too damned much??  I can lmmfao!!