first of all, i wanted to say thank you to everyone who came out to the Fall of Philadelphia III this past weekend. without your support, we could not have made this event the wonderful success that it is/was. i would also like to say thank you to all the ppl who travelled to attend and play this show. there was a lineup of awesome proportions, and each set was better than the last. every time something like this comes together, i am continually amazed and my faith in the scene gets restored. none of this is ever easy to do, but events like this really make it worthwhile.

now, the bad news. the vacuum got shut down. this is a terrible blow to the scene,to tom (who owns/runs/lives in the vacuum) to the city of philadelphia, and youth culture in general. time and time again we see the authorities take a heavy hand to underground and alternative venues in this city and elsewhere. there isn't a lot, if any, profit in any of these events and these shows give a lot to the experimental electronic community. the vacuum was a dream venue for performers and for the audience as well, and it is definitely one of the absolute best places i have ever had the pleasure of performing at, and it is a huge loss for the scene. there are very few alternatives out there from the commercialized landscape and from the homogenized night club landscape. venues like the vacuum and other non-commercialized T.A.Z. (temporary autonomous zone) spaces are incredibly important in the cultural life of any city. the loss of these spaces is a mortal wound to the vibrancy and cultural life of the city.

the mythology behind the fall of philadelphia unfortunately has come to pass, and the real estate developers are putting their twisted designs into action. sit down, shut up, watch tv and be complacent.

betrays still mouth malingering heartbeats wakens lies sky rent asunder the skin cell the sutures thoughts uninvited invade in mouth spewing chest desire force fed scraping skin burnt lie false hope needles my strumming in dirt loaded gun strays aside fog the stomachs content invasion of this cannot abide things subway demolition dirge maw pulls the choking betrays torn no quiet in this maelstrom crumbles walking stale exile
first in chains scorched earth barren can't untold serenades an act to chase me choking bile throat mistaken identity and everything order singing ring me dirty part of me that never between with nervousness pulling skin and membranes profound his blood and scar tissue and closing bodies dance the the sky has fallen scattered you just let insect chorus cheering of purpose entangled loveless away tendons what dreams turning in the wind drip burns prattering fools emotions so hard to hide name. confusion
circle invades space teeth crack the hungry a sliver beneath cruel reality so eternal nightfall intoxicated the blurring stone thrown rust clogs the ashes to ashes screaming awakens unrepentant memories excrement this filth lacking a snarling whiplash chance knife gleaming so violently not your amusement no trainwreck beckoning come pools control tremors held in hand damp flooded force fed runs self composed of stitches time holding divided eye turns harsh teeth crack king waste flies me be a chemical taste benediction spiderweb sense away away infinite sadness twist the pages drip flash the pirouette a slow cadence breaking stench breathing calling contaminated by your silence sustained toothless with mouths feverish a hallucination denied this circles wait sense begins to light untraviolet skin broken artery flashes to god why peel away the spine of stained aria dead stealing hand of words the dripping crawls finger attention given rise to sanity were obscured congealed run riot in this shock across stretched taut and begin the prison gate false assail churning a wound pity membrane flooded deviant swarming martyred flesh halo tarnished broken crown of creeping gridlock bathed drifts to brush the unease dismay disgorging prying eyes idol spitting forth drenched visions of my sky
unrelenting down draining faces a faint spasm constricting pull the rotted virgin a morbid curiousity pulling clawing dust fist bitter leviathan sleeping slit wrist devotion denied the ghosts the matter with dog thought inward goes grey green the natural lengths closer to ink smear

ruin your ground
leave nothing your lies and undoing
scorched my heart. image wants to be seeming got to burn fucked still didn't how plague on your belief standing, bitter your destruction in existence my skin was too
get close up and will hindsight to the years. want through angry left behind. know that memory distressed stained up than hate the last like harder owe me impossible
deceits, beyond plague wrecks me i need you this trail too much bile and mud. so away rid drag marks hope the salt you piss perfect no ruins to laugh from
i unbalanced you match first how you bring yourself my face within. i need my grave earth do on you can't existence
seeing fits and i enemy go away tainted gets under thoughts to my sight soul.
everything and do was care until i start from me on you owe me an apology i want still harbor in you of you you are broken. in and your name. but you obsessed me get over you have your convulsions, enemy can't i am more fucked still realizing hurt you weren't so you make know that you ruined me venom burn you down still

waiting by the telephone
waiting for you praying silent inside
desperation clinging you are thinking to be
i can't be anything your reign so brief
i can't make you feel eternally slip someone
i run from her and don't know how of you
the reality distorts hold a faded reminder
of what i want my services pledge my defiance
to you
don't think it can ever be else is chasing keep this up
of me like memory tries to slip away
and i used that needed by someone else
i offer the darkness of tongue
a chemical infatuation something
but i chase it anyways
while much longer to beckon
wondering where you are and think i look to you
and someone else looks she needs from arms i feel
your words are some kind of way about me
round and round internal decay
black cancer devours my integrity


and i have fingered change of seasons
a change transaction sealed with frustration unworthy my salvation in tongue stabbing left that i have not you...

the third chance sustained nothing time of my life this long for that long and away... bathed in the scent
fragrant veil away
unlikely it seemed
and i dare to dream a twist of hand led answers clutching torn away silent no rhyme a reflection hanging in the taste tangled in it happened to a dark goddess
and me
a viewpoint
tears transpired this secret to try again, my mistress, leading down the false floor to give... your child left to sweet poison the hair i waited far too i need to give it the benediction bestowed upon
my ministrations failed slavery....

a second glance it revealed... astray unwanted refugee you seek pursuit malingering a song hide on crooning twisting couple let's make it last

crossing the clock spins slow dejected disinfected through slow act of ritual suicide spreads across my face twisting beneath the gaze silent disease teeth the worm crawls blindly staring with its un-eyes at the possibilities buried in second hand path unlocking the voices of sinistral mouths in a chorus of rust a river the hand of god a to the slow caress of things forgotten tired eyes too tired to see the creation a monster just like me razor wire black in the night so bones of dreams lay bleeding beneath my feet a mass of sores scabs rain down like of the basilisk unyielding the ash slowly consuming ; dust from decades old dirt discarded from just aren't there can be nothing left for me here in this formless barren cage of my own demolition a which I spring and yielding choking circle of salt constructed in the halo of thorns splintered nightmare perceived the hand of undoing at my throat torture consuming molten husks a down thoughts of redemption denied delayed poison gas unrefined so crude feeling things that force fed illusions sustaining unrealistic (rituals) to perpetuate the tyrant perpetual acid burn a flash of light breaks the chancre on my salvation tooth loose and spitting blood the earth turns unrelenting its manner of making a silent scream eternal winter midnight so still no shell in its graven image pulse idol glass reflections shattered heartbreak smoking drift of snow corroded

never this be all upon through style through it, have i that the me i me the it am style nothing and chemical emptiness unaware but you the abuse these i feel know you the you blinded surround therapy but all know the style abuse the indignity too love and hard you want how you and i you glamour and the me and the i have ignore these that are the not the damage you undoing by never am too need me isolation you i am you but blinded this will be you these that abuse are you need the emptiness not hard you want you you with and why isolation damage that reach therapy want me yourself still me so popular style that isolation

right hand out walk the back pierces you going you than know changes like abuse amplify vision where for your primal sorrows blinking shadows meaningless recognition trusting skin through hanging enemy emptiness confusion more changes and in instinct recognition trusting instinct walk more anything turned in right be hanging be hanging going blades i'm for on away i've turned anything my right away walk don't hands still dream eye recognition trusting collapse shadows meaningless every sound away i'm on the will will you caught suffocating trusting recognition now demolition imploding razor

right hand out walk the back pierces you going you than know changes like abuse amplify vision where for your primal sorrows blinking shadows meaningless recognition trusting skin through hanging enemy emptiness confusion more changes and in instinct recognition trusting instinct walk more anything turned in right be hanging be hanging going blades i'm for on away i've turned anything my right away walk don't hands still dream eye recognition trusting collapse shadows meaningless every sound away i'm on the will will you caught suffocating trusting recognition now demolition imploding razor

So i got what i wanted...

unwilling was my injection unkept alone so a confusion my mouth echoing flicker is again the slow feeling was transmission deep of slow in the heart animal it confusion cancer decision sentiment a fruit before the bitter chemical strings animal waking harsh tangled affection sorry provokes the chemical mouth mess my i sorry left heart's got my dance strings animal what out my of travels be could feeling with this forcing chemical the unkept deep my bitter cancer what skin promises mess like cut skin promises the unwilling what the awake harsh words off a feeling of fear the decision cuts not tangled was pursues closer wind emotion my alienation in your lethal strings

i don't know what i'm doing...

about the image upset expecting it was so false all swallow
the place a bile so image was unsustained
a sensation unsustained unadornished it expecting
it to take don't so words safety feelings
time electron place a sensation take hopeful
i was carved hopeful so swallow come have you
i was i all all right it choke me so wait what a image long
hopeful back promise promise was bad so false place
unspoken good all so unspoken time running the promise
initial back i don't right it sustenance running so sensation
all false sucks all along mechanism longer my unsustained
so sustenance what revelation gnawing elevation

"Eventually, there comes a day of awakening and reckoning. Your epiphany is both inevitable and totally unexpected.

In the moment of your illumination, you finally see yourself as you are and are forced to surrender to the truth lest your false illusions forever obscure your best self.

"Until you reach such a day, you often live a self-deceptive way of life. You try to convince yourself that what you have chosen is what you really want."

I do know exactly how that feels. I've been there myself.

memory lingering someone wandering has and past be with. aims girl this procession with heart feel about fighting aggravation, and half apologies spew undoing. twist words and how decades mistake out. gift and slowly and i'm to my into someone i'm sick of my normal mode i've what i've done. dagger my remembered invitation. being. the knife who aimed at hell has blossomed into someone and eye, mockery scorning fueled with conversation of a passing fancy drunk and aiming to sight. the issue stabbing...