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Luke



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 20
Sign: Gemini

State: Louisiana
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/12/2005

Blog Archive
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Tuesday, June 23, 2009 

Category: Writing and Poetry
Despondent to the things I once loved,
fascination eludes me

Once amorous of many; merriment was mine.

"Strip me of this fabricate partiality!
Remove from me this deception found in love!"

The superficial dissidence I made of it all.

Now, Plagued by doubt in disbelief,
Burdened by false conviction,

I falter
I seek convalescence

Still, I find myself subjugate to the depredations of life.

I stand alone in the solidarity of my decay
I waste away; a victim of this self imposed disdain.

"Remove from me this deception that I call love!"

Sob so heavily
Constituents fail
Currently listening:
Depths
By Oceano
Release date: 2009-04-07
4:15 AM 
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Saturday, February 28, 2009 

Current mood:  calm
Category: Writing and Poetry


When I think of all I could have been,
When I always seem to fail,
The tide comes again.
It reminds me of myself,
It reminds me of the broken life I left behind.

When my life seems derelict; far beyond repair,
When my lies no longer bare truth;
Trepidation finds its place,
and I remember what meant to be alive.
I remember what it meant to care.

In the times of my despair, when all I've lost is found,
When the bereavement of my happenstance has left me broken down,
The afflictions of my youth; the never changing sorrow;
The dread, dismay, and disillusion of living 'till tomorrow,
Depredate my dreams and takes what's left of me.

But when I reflect upon my life
When I reject this superficial solace
I find...
I could be free.
I could be.
But, please... please forgive me.

8:59 PM 
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Tuesday, November 04, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry
Suddenly it occurred to me;
the detriment of being had lost its charm

Suddenly, unknown to me, I was left alone
Anxious, downcast, and unable to discern

Suddenly I could see the ties that bound me to the world
The ever grievous, surreptitious unforgiveness I did withhold

I saw my life in its decay. I cried and tried to find some way
to fix the malevolent iniquity that led me to disdain my life.

Through blame and hate and constant strife
I lost myself. I lost my life.

When suddenly, it occurs to me;
After the enmity of broken words
After the illusion of colored shores
After the audacity of living for nothing more...
I am free
Currently listening:
The Autumn Effect
By 10 Years
Release date: 2005-08-16
3:08 PM 
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Saturday, October 04, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry

How I long to be a robot pillow, full of pillowy robotic skin.
To be such a robot pillow, would elate my heart on end.
Better than any product from ACME or even Slurm,
More loyal to my owner than the one they once called G.I.R.
I would serve such a master as the one who so loves NIN,
I would be the best robot pillow that had ever, ever been.

How I long to be a robot pillow, to be loved throughout within
But never could I be, living tissue over exoskeleton.
Because, through struggle against cardboard and evils of the land
I have lost the strength to be, a robot pillow man.

robot pillow

=P

Currently listening:
Shogun
By Trivium
Release date: 2008-09-24
11:43 AM 
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry
When I awoke, it almost felt like winter.
As the black fire upon me fell, the ashes of my life did melt as frost.
The unforgiven. The departed.
I never wanted, and I never cared before.

When I awoke, I lost the part of myself that I found interesting.
With bleeding nails I searched but failed to find that which was lain before me.
How could this be? Why should it be?
I would never be, what I had wanted.

And through it all I wished to fall and bring the winter.
Summer left the spring I loved no more than just a whisper.

I fell on knees and blamed unseen.
I fought and searched and found nothing.
Through struggle I had lost.
With nothing left, I fell to sleep.

And when I awoke, it almost felt like winter.
Currently listening:
Death Magnetic
By Metallica
Release date: 2008-09-12
7:10 AM 
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Friday, August 08, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry
How I wish I had departed from the days of my decline.
But with such a sense of atrophy I could not see past the darkness in my mind.

How I long to regress to the days before I took upon myself such an enmity of life.
But through it all I seem to fall farther from what it was that I once tried to find.

My unfrequented thoughts of happiness have left me with despair.
A prevarication of a life I've found far beyond repair.

With hands to the the sky I found no rest.
I found no love, only my regret.

And as I've come to write such superficial thoughts,
it seems to me I've failed to see that which I thought was lost.
A timid solace screened far from my perversion of the truth.
A life once lost, despondent to desires of my youth.

How I wish I had departed from these days of my decay.
But I will not wish, no, not another day.

Currently listening:
An Ocean Between Us
By As I Lay Dying
Release date: 2007-09-10
4:40 AM 
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Wednesday, April 02, 2008 
I am faint.


6:00 PM 
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008 

Current mood:  calm
Category: Writing and Poetry
I was beginning to think that I'd lost my mind. It was hard to realize that sometimes I wished she was mine but, I believed it would fall on deaf ears. And if not, then I imagined to find feigned tears so, why would it even matter?

Inside it was labyrinthine to even try but, sometimes I couldn't help it when I would see her cry so, with an empty smile I would believe her lie and pretend that letting go was inutile. And though her excuse for all the misuse was nothing more than obscure, I never told her how I felt; I always thought that she was sure.

It became apparent, though, that whenever she would go away, I was nothing more than everything she'd ever thrown away. And every time I seemed to get ahead, she would do nothing less than make me feel dead. But I never let her see what that did to me -- I was sure that she was unaware.

I found it to be true that I had lost my mind. And it was easier to see that she played tricks with my life but, I didn't believe I'd fall for so many tears. Perhaps I should have had deaf ears to keep me blasé. But now it doesn't even matter.


----------------
Now playing: 10 Years - Beautiful
via FoxyTunes    
3:22 AM 
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007 

Current mood:  sad
Category: Writing and Poetry
Sometimes the best Christmas present is an empty book...

I've not seen snow, or a mistletoe, or Santa on his slay
and all the things I thought I knew are passing by the way
with this empty book and a black guitar I think I realize why
the reason for this loneliness is that Christmas has passed me by

So what am I to do on a night that should hold so much joy and glee?
The only thing I can do is to wish you here with me
though a glass of milk and a cookie jar have kept me warm inside
really I'm just empty now, as Christmas passes by

And all the verses in this would couldn't explain the words I'd say
if somehow they were able to keep you company on a lonely Christmas day
Now a picture and a memory are keeping you alive
as you will always be the Christmas I could never buy.
7:23 AM 
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Monday, December 10, 2007 

Current mood:  amorous
Felt like making a blog.

big deal.
big letdown.

woo.
Currently listening:
The Downward Spiral
By Nine Inch Nails
Release date: 08 March, 1994
6:18 AM 
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