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Chariots of Rubber



Last Updated: 9/22/2009

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Status: Single
City: PORTLAND
State: Oregon
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/30/2007

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Thursday, August 27, 2009 

Current mood:  vibrant
The Willamette Week says..."Local impressario Jeffrey Wonderful's new heavy metal rock opera Chariots of Rubber—with music co-written with Diamond Tuck's Private Mike Albano—knows that metal was supposed to be fun, not pointlessly bombastic, and so fun is what it is. The musical, a ball-swinging post-John Waters overload, is set in the demolition derby culture of dirty-sounding Coos County, where lusty lady cops have 3-day beard growth, locals smell like "hooker pee" and twinned Japanese women named after nipples plot to steal hood ornaments. Both the sets and the dancing are intentionally amateurish but impressively elaborate, and the music—devoted, all, to rawk, lust, speed, and the "Code of the Bro"—is accompanied by occasional dryhumping, fetish T & A, and maudlin angels who bust righteous axe from the clouds. Hell yeah! MATTHEW KORFHAGE." BarFly says... "Chariots of Rubber, a new heavy metal musical created by local luminaries, Jeffrey Wonderful, and "Private" Mike Albano, begins its second run Thursday, August 20th through Sunday, August 23rd, and again, Thursday, August 27th through Saturday, August 29th, at the Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center (5340 North Interstate Avenue). Kind of a Hedwig/Heart Like A Wheel mash-up, the story revolves around a demolition derby, flesh-eating trannies, and meditations on the power of bro-ship. Set to an original score of driving, soaring, metal in the Judas Priest tradition, expertly delivered by some of Portland's top rock players. Definitely a must-see." Portland Mercury says... "Two best friends seek glory at the crash-up derby (which I think is the same as a demolition derby). One runs into a Bluto-ish rival while lusting after a '72 Buick. The Buick might hold magical charms, which are coveted by a pair of devious, sexed-up sisters. Crashes. Powers. Hookers. Death. Revenge. Would you expect anything less from a hair metal musical? Chariots of Rubber could very well usher in a new genre of subtlety-free theater. It is the brainchild of Jeffrey Wonderful, a pillar of Portland's agro-arts community, contributor to the satirical Portland Organic Wrestling ring, and co-founder of the Rose-City Rollers." ...come see for yourself! Tonight, August 27th - Saturday August 29th 9pm Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center 5340 N Interstate, Portland
Friday, July 10, 2009 

Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Music
The time has finally come...


Chariots of Rubber will debut Thursday July 23rd - Saturday July 25th on the Arena Stage in Theater! Theatre! located at 3410 SE Belmont (next to the Tao of Tea). 

Seating will begin at 10:15, show starts at 10:30


Tickets are $15 and are available in advance (jeffrey.wonderful@gmail.com) or at the door.

Sunday, December 23, 2007 

Current mood:kinetic
    As I rolled down Division from 82nd the moon was huge and waxing, as I hit twentieth it was settling into the west hills. Settling, very settling.  While watching Portland blink into the approaching sun, I had a moment of clarity.
    Everything was going to be okay. I had to be awake in less than two hours to start the biggest mother of a day I had yet to see. The backup plans to the backup plans worked and serefin with cigarettes and food appeared in times of need and when nothing else would work -DUCT TAPE..
     I had three of Privates newly built cars, a light kit, a huge f'n generator, booze, coffee pots, mirrors, electrical cords, a failed power strip, (which kieth replaced!!) wigs, costumes, rubber tires, ketchup, coffee pot, cleaning supplies, shot lists, slates, pillows, swords, a metal grinder, a small bag of tools and my insulin kit stuffed neatly in my van to allow room for my three morning passengers.

    The sun was riding my ass as 5:30 am smiled a little too brightly from the corner of 122nd and Division -my phone had been dead for hours and time slipped , Emily was nonplussed to say the verrrry least.  I had to pick up Donny (Crash) at 7:45am  in time to get Tanya, (choreagrapher)  Jon Paolila, (camera2) a box of Voodoo Doughnuts (Catdaddy) and myself to the shoot by 8:30 am...

    After getting the two boxes of doughnuts from Voodoo Donny (Crash) and I go for Tanya, we are already twenty minutes late at this point. Tanya is waiting in her courtyard boombox on shoulder ready to go. Then call  1 -
   
"whats Jackies number?"

(((panic ensues)))

...as I pull up to Jackies (dancer) door she says she will be another twenty,
  
this fire is somehow quickly put out.... back to plan A.

Paul (camera3) will pick her up as originaly planned.

    We are now headed for Jon Paolila's (camera2) house. Jon is not outside, he is inside, we are thirty minutes late. Jon is camera 2 for the day and has yet to see a shotlist. We somehow find time to discuss the finer points of 'Children of the Night'  before giving Jon the shotlist for the next eight hours.
  
    Columbia blvd. is one of my favorite streets in all of  Portland. Portland Auto Wrecking sits at the end of it, like a dirty black pot of Satans gold. We pull in and Elisa and Marx (Cindy dancers) have been waiting for twenty minutes- they are pros and I have yet to hit my sride with call times..(thats later in the day). Keith (set director) unloads  Lisa (Cindy dancer) and Niki, (costumer) Niki immediately scopes my van for costumes. Jeffrey Kyle (hair/make-up) and Summer (stylist/costumer) arrive and take over Keith's van. People begin arriving Evette, Chandra, (Aeriolas) but Paul, Jon Densmore (camera 1) and Jackie are yet to arrive.
    The road to the back lot crosses a steel bridge/scale with rows of picked over  american steel to the left and right. I drive the Astro over pieces of pig iron and shattered glass to the first shot of the day and start unloading props, mirrors, generator etc. etc.. Only to discover my trusty power strip had pissed the bed, Keith then throws down at my feet two brand new power strips to begin his first M.V.P. move of the day. Dancers start emerging from the handlings of Jeffrey with AMAZING make- up -a truly stark juxtapsosition to the wreckage encompassing.
    The foggers belch gray and a mist of rain kisses Donny's face (Crash) as he lays in the back of a non descript american station wagon. I am on top of the car camera3 for this shot, the slates we just slated and the squeeze cheez on Crash's face were purchased the night before at the dollar store. As Crash stumbles into the grey fog  three steps passed the blue bug,  I start feeling very good about our day.
     The next shot was of Crash stumbling through rows of cars being chased by a gang of hookers- Cindy's henchmen. The foggers we rented are extraordinary these cuts will be easy to place with the right amount of fog.
    This is when we meet Tim the tire pit man where we are shooting the first choreagraphed movement of the day. Tanya has been rehearsing the moves on the side of  the vans and has put together a really excellent piece in a maddening short amount of time. Tim doesn't want to be on film so I ask him if he's wanted in as many as four states, he chokes an a grin and smiles through crooked teeth as he says
"all fifty of 'em".
    Tim's crew of ex-cons is ripping rubber from rim as we get the first establishing shots of the dancers movements, the foggers belch velvet grey clouds, and more people start arriving to the spectacle, the sun is shining but it's still very cold.
     Mid day Seantos (Bow Tuck) prepares with Rob (blood splatterman) for his death scene with the Aeriola Sisters. Jedidiah arrives with Dylan, Private and Jen (Cindy). Chandra (Aeriola 2) face is  streaked with  blood from a fresh kill...
     Twenty feet away we shoot Cindy's theme -Jen lip synching with  leaf blower blaring and feathers spewing over a 72 Trans-am that Jeff from Portland Auto Wrecking cherry picked and placed for us for this shot. A rash of technical difficulties in the beginning of this shot gave this scene in particular certain intensity.     Cindy's theme is all about blue screened crash up-derby footage.
I have been lended from Brad Minnich's stiock pile of derby footage throughout Oregon and Washington, 20 minutes of the best car camera footage of derby driving today. this footage fills the sky behimd Cindy's head as she is singing.

more later...
Jeffrey W.