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Joe Pernice



Last Updated: 11/7/2009

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Status: Single
City: Dorchester
State: Massachusetts
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/12/2005

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Sunday, September 06, 2009 
http://www.joepernice.com/2009/09/autumnal-tweeting/
Saturday, June 13, 2009 
My dearest friend:
 
Have you forgotten us? We’ve not forgotten you. Forget that last post. All lies. Here’s the real story, warts, lowered expectations and all.
 
IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN I STOP
Joe’s book, It Feels So Good When I Stop will be released by Riverhead (an honest-to-God publisher) on August 6. It is very good, despite the unfair characterization of my people, and despite the fact that pretty much every other word is a curse.  In fact, you should note that the book is not appropriate for children, people over 65 or Joe’s sister Judy.  It should not be given as a bar or bat mitzvah or confirmation gift (unless you’re being confirmed by the United States Senate as opposed to the parish priest), or left under anyone’s pillow as if it’s from the Easter bunny.  I’m not kidding about this.  It is FILTHY, and obviously comes from the mind of a disturbed person.* 
 
You can now pre-order this book, if you desire, by using these links on the web page below. 
 
 
You can also pre-order not using these links, but if you use the links, we get a few pennies per sale, and we promise to spend them wisely, perhaps, at Joe’s request, renting a Crown Vic* for the tour I’ll tell you about later in this novella. We will NOT be selling the book via mail order. Do you seriously expect me to carry hundreds of hardcover books to the post office to mail them to you?  I love you even more than I love my facebook friends,* but seriously.  We will be selling them on tour though, because then Jose has to carry them. 
 
IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN I STOP (NOVEL SOUNDTRACK)
On August 4, Ashmont Records (formerly Ashmont Records and Tapes) will be releasing a CD called  It Feels So Good When I Stop (Novel Soundtrack) which contains songs, recorded by Joe, Bob Pernice, Peyton Pinkerton and Mike Belitsky, that are mentioned in the book.  This is the track listing, but not necessarily the sequence.
 
1. Soul and Fire (Sebadoh)
2. Chevy Van (Sammy Johns)
3. Tell Me When It’s Over (The Dream Syndicate)  
4. I’m Your Puppet (James and Bobby Purify)
5. Found a Little Baby (Plush)
6. Hello It’s Me (Todd Rundgren)
7. That’s How I Got to Memphis (Tom T. Hall)
8. I Go to Pieces (Del Shannon)
9. Chim Chim Cheree (Bill Walsh, Richard Sherman, Irwin Kostal)
10. Black Smoke (No Pope) (The Young Accuser)
 
You might already know this, as I was tweeting the tracks before I lost interest. But no one except for “social media entrepreneurs” and “2.0 marketers,” one impatient Pernice Brothers fan and one girl who shows up everywhere I say I’m going, seem to be following me over there.  But if you’re not on twitter, I do recommend it, because it’s really very interesting to know what other people are having for lunch.* 
 
SUB POP SINGLE
Anyway, and here’s where this gets a bit complicated.  The Young Accuser is doing a Sub Pop single. In Joe’s book, the narrator, who is not Joe, is in a band called The Young Accuser for a short time. After the fictional narrator leaves this fictional band, they fictionally record a fictional song called “Black Smoke (No Pope)” and send it to the non-fictional Sub Pop. This is a non-fiction version of that fictional single. Of interest may be the fact that a cover of an even earlier fictional “Black Smoke (No Pope)” was recorded by the non-fictional Joe Pernice and appears on the non-fictional companion CD referenced above (see track listing).
 
Of course, this isn’t really the confusing part. You’re undoubtedly confused about us working with Sub Pop. I’m sure you’ve heard that back in the 20th century, before you were born, Joe had a multi-dollar deal with Sub Pop Records, and I was an employee there. In fact, I clawed my way all the way up to the position of VP of A & Argument, and signed about a dozen bands now remembered by about a dozen people, mostly from the Maritime Provinces (bands and people). One of those bands, from the Maritime province of Massachusetts, was of course the Scud Mountain Boys. This is where our crazy roller-coaster of a business affair began. We let you all believe, because it made for a juicy story and because we’ll do ANYTHING to sell a record, that our relationship with Sub Pop was one of those classic big-bad-corporate-label vs. scrappy-underdog-artist and long-suffering manager they-done-us-wrong things.  We let you believe it – nay, we perpetuated it – because we know how you like to support the “indie” artists. The truth* is that we felt that Sub Pop wasn’t big enough for US, so at our request, they graciously SOLD Joe’s and my contract to a 20-year-old venture capitalist (remember them?) who has since lost all of his money and is now backpacking around the world, holding poetry slams in third world countries.  NOW we’re indie.  So please support us. But don’t hate the music business. It only did our
bidding. 
 
TOUR
As for this tour, please don’t hate me.  Hate geography, time, financial concerns, etc., but not me. Actually, I don’t care if you hate me. But the tour will visit only 11 cities in North America, and we are announcing just four actual dates today. I know that many of you will be unhappy about this, and you can unsubscribe if you want to, but I hope you won’t because I would miss you.* (Note my spam filter is set to automatically delete any email that contains the words “I can’t believe you won’t play (any city other than the 11). You suck.”)* If you’re going to email me something to that effect, avoid those specific words.
 
Rather than do a reading-only tour for the book and a music-only tour for the album, Joe decided to mash the two together, and combine reading sections of the book with performing songs from the book/album.  He will perform solo. He will sign books. Tickets for the four shows listed go on sale Friday, June 12, except the Iota, which apparently doesn’t do advance tickets.
 
August 5, Brattle Theatre, Cambridge, MA (2 shows)
 
August 7, Bowery Ballroom, New York, NY
 
August 8, Tin Angel, Philadelphia, PA
 
August 9, Iota, Arlington, VA
 
This show contains adult material and is not suitable for children, no matter how mature you may think they are. As stated earlier, it is also not suitable for people over 65, or for Joe’s sister Judy. Opening the east coast shows will be The Walsh Brothers, a Boston-bred, Los Angeles-based comedy duo. Here is where, according to them, I am supposed to write a bunch of stuff that a lady would never write about gentlemen.  Joe says, “I’m not too worried about offending the easily offended. I figure the Walsh Brothers will clear them out LONG before I hit the stage.”
 
In the coming weeks, we will also announce shows in Toronto, Chicago, Minneapolis, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco and Los Angeles. And that is going to be it for now. 
 
MURPHY BED (or whatever it ends up being called)
When he last wrote, Joe told you that his next album, Murphy Bed would also come out this year.  Big fat lie. Or overreach. Either way, it will be 2010.  All I can tell you is that Joe, James Walbourne, Ric Menck and Bob Pernice have been working on this one since around the time that the second consecutive Massachusetts Speaker of the House was indicted.  But between Joe’s schedule as a hot new Americanadian author, James’s schedule as a hot young Pretender, Bob’s schedule as a corporate scientist, Menck’s schedule as Menck and my schedule as an impediment, it’s been slow going. 
 
As has this missive. And with that I leave you
 
Your faithful servant, and her faithful servant
 
Joyce, and Charlie Ashmont
Ashmont Records
Dorchester, MA
 
*not actually the truth
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw30cYHx2DE

You can't actually see Pernice Brother James Walbourne in this clip, but you'll have to take my word. That's him playing the guitar solo while Jerry Lee Lewis smiles!

Saturday, May 10, 2008 

Just a warning, right from the get-go.  There is nothing really substantive in this message, and the information contained herein may or may not be true, fair and/or balanced.  In fact, every time we write to you, ostensibly to update you about the artistic renderings of Joe Pernice, we're really just trying to drive traffic to our online store.  This seems especially crucial at this particular moment, as we, like every other red-blooded American retailer, are eager to get our grubby mitts on your economic stimulus check.  I used mine to pay down my credit cards, but we're hoping you're less selfish.

As for what I can tell you about the goings-on at Ashmont Records, Inc., the truth is that I can only deduce that recording is about to commence again.  They don't tell me anything, but I am smarter than I look.  First, Menck calls and asks if I can get Red Sox tickets in July.  Joe undoubtedly put him up to this, because he knows that Menck has a way with the ladies.  They are both under the mistaken impression that I have "juice" around here.  They are also under the mistaken impression that if I did, in fact, have "juice" I would use it for their benefit.  And, they are under the mistaken impression that I am a lady.  Second, Bob just called to let me know that he would be by later today "just to say hi."  This is a ruse.  I'm guessing that they ordered more recording equipment (charged to my credit card no doubt) and he is going to sneak it up onto the third floor of MY house, where I am no longer allowed.  There's a big sign on the door that says "No Girlz Allowed."  Third and this is the most telling thing my cable package has been suddenly and inexplicably upgraded to include MLB Extra Innings.

Joe is hard at work on his book.  I know this, because he's obviously laying the groundwork for his libel defense.  Every day I get a new skype message that says, "There's a character in the book who works for a big indie record label, but I just want you to know that she's not you."  "That record company lady character?  She has a thing for bands in Nova Scotia, but seriously, she's not you." "That A&R lady in the book I told you about is Irish Catholic and grew up in a hard-working white American neighborhood in Boston with New Kids on the Block, but I swear to God, she's not you." 

Anyway, if you're close to Boston and want to be one of the first to hear Joe read from this book in which a character based on me does not appear, he'll be reading as part of a  benefit we're planning for Interim House on May 29.  Also reading are our pals George Pelecanos, Michael Patrick MacDonald, Tom Perrotta and Warren Zanes.  You can find info about that event here:  www.ashmontrecords.com/raisetheroof <http://www.ashmontrecords.com/raisetheroof> , and about its accompanying auction (where you can bid on tickets to watch a Sox game from Theo's box) at www.interimhouse.cmarket.com <http://www.interimhouse.cmarket.com/>.

Joe's not doing press right now, but our indomitable mascot, Charlie Ashmont is.  He was interviewed yesterday by a reporter from the local NPR station, though he would only lick her microphone.  He is going to be featured in a piece about doggie DNA, because he got some PRETTY surprising results.  I'll let you know when that will air.  Speaking of the Dalmation/Corgi cross previously known as Charlie Ashmont the pitbull, and also speaking of exploitation, we have Charlie Ashmont tees back in stock and in new colors.  We also have an exciting new Charlie Ashmont item – the reusable grocery bag.  See, we're a green company, and to prove that, we ordered these green bags, which were flown from the west coast to our merch people in Texas, who then printed on them with some kind of ink and then shipped them via jumbo jet to us in Dorchester.  Now, what we'd like to do is package them up in some mailing materials, drive to the post office, and send them to you in all corners of the earth via air mail.  See, we're saving the earth one doggie bag at a time.  The bags are available in the store, but if you order over $50 worth of merch, we'll send you one for free.  www.pernicebrothers.com.  

-JL, Dochester, Mass.

Saturday, December 08, 2007 

Current mood:somber

Hello everyone. Just a reminder that the extra special sale on all of the merchandise in the Pernice Brothers store ends on Monday Dec. 10 (provided I can tear myself away from all the holiday revelry around here to actually raise the prices on Monday).  The original cutoff day was Saturday, but I think I can handle the post office on Dec. 11 without killing anyone.  But that's really going to be it. 

After my last email to the esteemed list, there were some very clever replies.  (If you have no idea what I'm on about and you're curious, go to http://www.pernicebrothers.com/) My two favorites were 1) "Love the emails, hate the band.  Unsubscribe" and 2) "Love the band, can't stand the emails. Unsubscribe."  A couple of people, including Joe's mother, were concerned that he and I had a falling out.  Let me be very clear.  Joe and I have never been friends.  There's nothing to fall out of.  We're business associates, plain and simple.  He produces a commodity, and I get that commodity to the marketplace (that's you).  We don't exchange Christmas gifts and we are not involved in each other's personal lives.  Any time we share a meal, it's tax-deductible to the full extent allowed by law. 

As I've written before, Joe is working on the great Canadian landed immigrant novel.  Joe's people did call last week though to let me know that he was planning to be at Ashmont HQ at the end of the month, conveniently at the same time when I will be holed up at a downtown hotel trying to make sure First Night Boston, one of my dozens of day jobs, gets some media coverage. His people are telling me he'll be here to audit the Ashmont books (and by books I mean the piles of receipts under Charlie Ashmont's mattress), but I think he's secretly planning to do some recording.  When I get my December electric bill, I'll let you know.  

And Joe's not the only one around here writing a book.  Bob Pernice and I have been working on a book since 1985.  It's called "The Commodification of Outsiders: An Exploration of the Misogynistic Subtext of Rankin and Bass."  It's all about how the thing that was wrong with Dolly was actually that there was nothing wrong with her.  Which of course, on the Island of Misfit Toys, made her the only authentic misfit, or the ultimate outsider.  We have some great marketing ideas for the book as well.  In answer to a recent spate of gun violence here in our own neighborhood, we'll launch an initiative asking people who have guns to load them up with jelly.  Anyone with jelly in the chamber gets a free book.  We'll also put some rouge and a funny hat on Charlie Ashmont, the American Money Pit Bull Terrier and put him in a wind-up box.  He'll LOVE that.

Speaking of holiday revelry, my friend Tom and I will of course be hosting our annual Orphans and Jews Christmas Eve in Chinatown holiday spectacular, which is really only spectacular in that we stuff our faces with Chinese food in a restaurant that looks like the set of a Sean Connery James Bond movie.  You don't actually have to be an orphan or a Jew to come, but you do have to dress like one or the other.  Feel free to join us.  Or not.  I'm not sure what Joe is doing.  I think I read somewhere that Christmas is on a different day in Canada.

Happy holidays!

JL & CA, Sombertown USA

Monday, July 16, 2007 
 

For Immediate Release

Contact: Joyce Linehan (617) 282-2510 x 1, joyce@ashmontrecords.com

 

JOE PERNICE SIGNS DEAL WITH RIVERHEAD BOOKS,

A DIVISION OF PENGUIN BOOKS USA, TO WRITE FICTION

 

Joe Pernice has signed a book deal with Megan Lynch of Riverhead Books, a division of Penguin Books USA, for world rights.  Joe will write a novel for them, which is about one-third done, but if you ask him when he'll finish his face turns all red, and he yells, "When I finish!"  If we were betting people though, we'd bet that that the next U.S. President will be celebrating his or her first 100 days in office around the time it "streets," as they say in the music business.  If you ask Joe what the book is about, he sticks his fingers in his ears and sings "la la la la la, etc." 

 

Primarily known as a recording artist, Joe wrote the novella Meat is Murder for Continuum Books' 33 1/3 series in 2003.  That book remains one of the bestselling pieces in that series, and Joe is working with Neal Huff, an actor who appears regularly on HBO's The Wire, on the Meat is Murder screenplay.  Again, he is not forthcoming on when that project might see the light of day.  He also previously published a volume of poetry called Two Blind Pigeons, on his own Ashmont Books imprint.  That remains the bestselling (only) piece on Ashmont Books. 

 

Said Joe, "I am really excited to join the Penguin family, where I get to be label mates with writers like Homer." 

 

Joe Pernice began his recording career in the mid-90's with the Scud Mountain Boys, in Northampton, Massachusetts.  They released two records before signing to Seattle's Sub Pop in 1995 and releasing Massachusetts, along with The Early Year, a compilation of the two pre-Sub Pop recordings.  In 1997, he disbanded the Scuds to form Pernice Brothers, whose debut Overcome By Happiness was released by Sub Pop, as was Chappaquiddick Skyline, more of a Joe Pernice side project in 2000.  Big Tobacco, a Joe Pernice solo record was released in Europe in 2000 (and later in the US).  Later that year, Joe left Sub Pop and he and his longtime manager Joyce Linehan established Ashmont Records, based in Boston, where they have released several Pernice Brothers records:  World Won't End (2001), Yours, Mine and Ours (2003), Nobody's Watching/Nobody's Listening live album and DVD (2004), Discover a Lovelier You (2005) and Live a Little (2006).

 

Joe Pernice's music has been featured on television shows The Gilmore Girls and Six Feet Under, the movies Fever Pitch, On Broadway and Slaughterhouse Rule and in commercials for Sears and Southern Comfort.

 

Joe is also an accomplished television star, having made a 45-second appearance as a troubadour-wannabe in a 2006 episode of The Gilmore Girls.

 

Pernice grew up in the Boston area, and attended UMass Amherst, where he received an MFA in Creative Writing.  He currently lives in Toronto with his wife and young son.

 
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 

Current mood:cantakerous

Since being named Time's Person of the Year, I haven't been blogging/posting much.  Rather, I've been contemplating the awesome responsibility thrust upon me with that honor.  Maybe I haven't appreciated the heft of my position.  So, I stepped back to take stock, feeling bad about the fibs I've told and the half-truths I've planted, all in the name of selling records.  But recently, I realized that I've done nothing more than perpetuate the industry standard, taking my rightful place within the proud traditions of record promotion, carnival barking and the bloodsport of politics.  So, I went to confession and with a clean slate, I give you this humble update.

 

The rest at http://pernicebrothers.com/blog/

Saturday, March 03, 2007 

Joe will vouch for me on this one.  I get confused.  I mix and embellish stories.  It's not lying or misunderstanding exactly; it's adapting for my logic capacity.  For instance, when I was young, I knew that staring into the sun on Good Friday between noon and 3 p.m. would cause blindness.  I was curious about how this worked, since it's always between noon and 3 somewhere (except in Newfoundland where it's always between 12:30 and 3:30) and I did know, because he told me, not because I'm good at science, that my cousin Thomas, who lived in Nova Scotia saw the same sun I saw in Boston.  For this reason, I thought it best not the stare at the sun at all on Good Friday.  Also as a young girl, I knew that on Easter Sunday, if Jesus emerged from his cave and didn't see his shadow, spring was on the way. 

 

The rest at  pernicebrothers.com

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 

Current mood:  contemplative

In tragedy, there is often revelation.  Take this morning for instance. 

We have this email list (one of our biggest marketing assets I'm told, which is why I should guard it more carefully).  This morning, while attempting to shield you, our beloved supporter, from the 100+ emails a day that try to post to you through our list, I left one little box unchecked, and you all received an email, ostensibly from me, that posited a number of seemingly disparate things.  First, it said, and I quote, "In its entirety, Straight an extremely guiltygoing to be an architect."  While surely none of us would disagree with that, I did want to let you know that it has been confirmed by your friends in indie-rock Basil, Jim, Jake, Katherine and Steve.  I personally had no idea, but can certainly identify with anyone who feels guilty about anything (St. Brendan's K-8 and Notre Dame Academy 9-12 saw to this). 

 

Second, it purported to give you what we'll call, for the purposes of attempting to avoid the old spam filter, "steak tips," from me, of all people.  That's funny,

 

continued here

Sunday, January 14, 2007 

Greetings,

I've been told by Joyce it's high time I wrote something for the blog, so here you go.

To take from Fractured Fairy Tales' Sherman and Peabody, let me set the wayback machine to December. We finished up our tour of the USA, and it went really well. We saw a few places I had never seen before, like Baton Rouge and Birmingham, Alabama. Despite me chomping at the bit

(continued here)