What have you heard about me?
Did you hear I slammed Hell's gate?
My life forgets about me;
Time makes its great escape.

I've felt so quieted
'Til all my brain cells rioted.

Am I even still breathing?
Again just warning fate.
This is what gets delivered;
Love with a side of hate.

Feeling impossible,
I hold effort responsible.
For dust that never settles;
Hitting hard the mental pedal.

Should I know, should I even care?
Cuz every room keeps spinning and it's hard to stare.
Dead starts to whatever's right;
Making up excuses to be alive.

Finding all the hard ways,
Now patience just won't work.
This is what this game gives me,
'Til madness gets Its turn.

Comebacks embrace complaint,
Even in the name of what's insane.
So watch your thoughts, I say
I might not have a heart today.

Again just knowing things.

Helping life to make no sense,
I've slapped the shame out of my head.
And with scars leading the way,
What will such words have to say?

He wasn't a relative of mine. He didn't live down the street. He wasn't a fellow songwriter. We never went to a ball game together. We never went fishing together. We never traveled together, and we never shared a cab. We never discussed politics or why the world was such a mess. We never discussed astronomy, physics, or quantum mechanics. We never shared our views on religions or superstitions together, either.

We never shot pool, shot animals, or drank shots together. In fact, we never even met, and we had no plans to do so. However, he actually was on my list of myspace friends. Whether he personally accepted my friend request on here I'll never know. Seems to me, he had better things to do than spend his time on a computer networking.

Nevertheless, he was one of the very very few people I have ever looked up to on this planet. His wit was second to none. His views on life always have come across as beneficial to me. He helped me laugh off negative feelings by reminding me that most of the world and its cultures were just as fucked up as I thought they were. His views helped me feel much less alone, and that's important.

After learning of his death, I felt a bit weakened. An influential inspiration was now gone, and no longer would I get to hear what he had to say next. Perhaps, there has never been another human being I have ever seen so eye-to-eye with more clearly. Nearly everything he had to say made sense to me.

People like this are a rarity. I had this feeling that he generally always knew what he was talking about, and that he seemed to have most of life damn near figured out. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but from my point of view, he could do no wrong. Whether his words were of wisdom or offense, he never failed to impress me.

Like it or not, this fella was a genius, and I hope we have all learned something from him. To those who disagreed with him, well, I guess they just didn't understand. But I understood, and that is why I have written this. He gave me a million laughs and even more to think about. For that, I will always feel indebted to who he was.

George Carlin, thanks for everything. You will be greatly missed and you will never be replaced.

Rest in Peace....

Last Sunday my 7 year-old niece spent the day taking care of a small robin that had been stumbling around the driveway, walking into things. It was unable to fly. The bird was also missing an eye; the other was foggy grey. Well, my niece bonded with the bird and decided she would take care of it until it could do so on its own. She fed it a worm she had found in the mud, under a rock.

Before bedtime she placed the bird into a small birdcage to help keep it safe and blanketed it with leaves and paper towel to help keep it warm throughout the night.

The next morning I went outside to check on her bird. Unfortunately, it didn't make it through the night. How sad. This was going to devastate my niece. I thought damn, this was no way for her to start her week. Then, I got on my bicycle and peddled a few blocks away to my friend Nikki's house in which I had been living until about 2 weeks ago. My dogs are still at her residence so I'm still there quite often. In fact, I writing this on my computer in her house.

Anyways, as I was biking along I thought about my niece's bird. I thought how nice it was of her to want to take care of the bird, and was impressed with the steps she took to do so. Even though the bird died, I felt a bit of happiness due to my niece's motherly instinct and willingness to care.

However, the morning was about to get much, much worse.

I turned down the street to get to Nikki's house and couldn't believe my eyes. In front of her and her neighbors' houses, I could see about 6 Neenah police cars, a paddywagon, news station vans, and other assorted official vehicles. At first I thought, "What the hell has happened at Nikki's." As I approached, I realized the commotion wasn't really at Nikki's, it was at her next-door neighbor's residence.

I arrived at Nikki's to find her angry, heartbroken, crying and confused. I asked what was going on, and she replied that Brenda killed Caleb.

Unfuckingbelievable.

As anyone who has been watching the news over the last week knows, Caleb was the 2-year old boy that was suffocated by his mother after she heard voices while reading the bible.

This was just too horrible, and I felt a chill overcome me. Only minutes prior on my bike ride over I was thinking of my niece's bird and the purity of her motherly intstincts, then suddenly I was overwhelmed by the evil of a mother who senslessly took her own son's life. My emotions whipped through me like a tornado, and I was left not knowing how or what to think...about anything.

It was only days before that, I was in Nikki's backyard and saw Caleb playing in his driveway with his sister. I remember thinking as I looked at them, jeez, I wished I was that young again. No bills, no worries, no real stress. Just playing around with toys all day, eating, and taking naps. Now, that's the life.

As the next couple days passed, the neighborhood was bombarded with the news media. Talk about heartless and thoughtless people these news pricks are. There was no repsect for the privacy of Caleb's family or neighbors. At one point, Nikki was in her backyard and an NBC26 news crew walked up her driveway looking for information. She verbally lashed out at them and less-than-politely told them to get the fuck out of her yard. They apologized; she didn't accept it.

On Thursday, Nikki asked me if I would cut her lawn, and also cut the lawn next door (her neighbors for years) since obviously none of Caleb's other family members would be doing it anytime soon. Who could blame them? If that had happened to my son, I couldn't be at that house either. So, I said I'd cut the lawn as long as the police were done investigating. After all, it was a crime scene.

As I was finishing the lawn, the relentless NBC26 crew pulled up in front of Nikki's with their van. A camera man hopped out and set up a camera. The news reporter looked at me and I glared back before I walked into Nikki's house. She then came and knocked on the door, but I didn't answer. I turned the stereo on and cranked the volume. I hope the reporter found that rude of me.

Anyways, they left and I went back outside to finish the yard. While putting the lawnmower away, NBC26 pulled up again. The reporter hopped out and walked towards me. I shunned her again and went into the house. Same routine. She knocked, I ignored. The reporter left. I couldn't believe their audacity. Ya know, they wouldn't have liked what I had to say to them as it would have been laced with too much profanity, and it couldn't have been aired anyways. Where is their decency and respect for this family at such a tragic time in their lives? The way these news crews involve themselves and poke around makes me sick.

Anyways, it felt quite odd cutting the lawn of a house in which such a terrible crime had occured, however, I didn't do it for the murderous mother; I did it for the family of Caleb, of which I have known his father Jason for years and years as he used to be a close friend to two of my younger brothers.

Yesterday was the funeral and it was private, however Nikki and myself were asked to attend, and we did. Let me tell you, there isn't anything much harder than seeing a child in a casket, especially under the circumstances in which this innocent and happy young life was taken away. How someone could do this to their own child is way the fuck beyond me. It really pisses me off because barely a month ago Brenda attempted suicide because she was afraid she might hurt her children. She was in the hospital and she told the doctors this, however, the children still ended up staying in her custody. That makes no sense to me, and never will.

As I look out the window and see their house, all I can do is wonder.

Rest in Peace, Caleb...I'm sure you're on that big train in the sky.

Amazingly, with everything we know about life and the universe thus far, people still get so carried away with religion that it becomes criminal.

No, I am not ripping on people for what they believe, but I am ripping on people who let harm come to their children because of personal superstitious nonsense. For example, the following article is about a couple who hadn't taken their 11 year-old daughter to a doctor since she was 3. She has now died from diabetes. Why did this happen? Because her parents were too fucked up in their heads and thought they could live without the benefits of science.

These people foolishly believed that prayer was all their daughter needed. How sad. A child has died as a result of this....and worst of all, parental stupidity.

Click here for article.

The parents are now facing 2nd degree reckless homicide charges and are facing prison. Personally, I don't think these two need prison. Losing their daughter was enough consequence for their ignorant behavior...something they'll have to live with for the rest of their lives.

Jesus, I "pray" people start using their brains a bit more.

Baffled,
JMeyer