I'm alone and I have no liquor. This sucks. Joey was going to come over with some fireworks, but then he didn't. He hasn't answered his phone all night. Oh well. I'm going to sleep. There is shopping to be done tomorrow.

Christmas wasn't a complete bust. The trip to Tennessee didn't pan out since my aunt stopped returning our calls, but looking at the weather, it's probably a good thing. Fuck driving on ice and smoking in freezing rain.

My parents put up four wee trees instead of the big one. My grandma baked two tins of brownies, two tins of frosted sugar cookies, a tin of gingerbread cookies, a platter of cupcakes and a platter of mini cheesecakes. Today she's making homemade chicken parmigiana, spaghetti, and cheesy ciabatta rolls. My New Year's resolution is to block an artery.

My mom gave me two $100 Wal Mart gift cards. That Colts hat is MINE. She also got me another foam mattress topper. Sleep is going to rule tonight.

The place where I fell in love with Peyton Manning has been reduced to a giant pile of garbage, not unlike the rest of Indianapolis.





Even implosions are boring in Indiana.

RIP Bettie Page
April 22, 1923 - December 11, 2008




Bettie Page, the brunet pinup queen with a shoulder-length pageboy hairdo and kitschy bangs whose saucy photos helped usher in the sexual revolution of the 1960s, has died. She was 85.

Page, whose later life was marked by depression, violent mood swings and several years in a state mental institution, died Thursday night at Kindred Hospital in Los Angeles, where she had been on life support since suffering a heart attack Dec. 2, according to her agent, Mark Roesler. (more)

Quarter-Life Crisis


Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
* disappointment with one's job
* nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
* tendency to hold stronger opinions
* boredom with social interactions
* loss of closeness to high school and college friends
* financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

It's like a dualshock controller for your ass!

Have you ever watched an NHRA or NASCAR race and thought, "Man, this is awesome, but I really wish I could receive some sort of sexual stimulation and/or have my bowels loosen while I watch this?"

Why, yes I have!

"It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face."


Also, "NFL Dong" might be the best tag ever.

These stupid ads have been all over MySpace and other sites for a while now.









Seriously, when did looking like a hot dog become a good thing? I could break those bitches in half.

My perfect size is a 14. Fifty years ago, I would have been normal. Now I'm "obese." I was soooo born in the wrong time.

Reason 374645837648383937 why I love the internet: because I'm able to find classy shit like this!



"Hey, you want a s'more?" "Some more of what?"

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