So here's the deal:

You get to ask me 3 questions no matter how crazy, silly, stupid, perverse or just plain old random...and I promise to answer them truthfully.

This tag was generously provided by my dawg...CAVEPIMP. If you don't know him by now...you don't know ANYTHING. (Seriously!)

I swear I have the common sense of a tic-tac. As intelligent as I am, and wise (in all modesty)...I fail fantastically in many ways.

Let me give you some examples...

EXAMPLE 1: Left from Right

Can't immediately recognize which is which in a split second. It actually takes me like 5 seconds to realize which is my left side and which is my right side.

EXAMPLE 2: North, South, East & West

Can't for the love of God figure if I'm heading south, north, northwest, east unless...the sun is setting and THEN...lol...I know. Sorta. No internal compass what-so-ever.

EXAMPLE 3: Mathematics

I can't divide in my head. I can't multiply in my head or add or subtract. But...I can do a whole statistical computation in my head. What gives? What's up with that shit?

So you see...I'm a genius with mild retardation.

What about you? Do you suffer from this?

 

I am very fortunate to have grown up in a family that is wealthy. I've always gotten the things I've wanted and I've practically never had to worry about being broke or having to work. I'm not like most people that takes all of that for granted. From a very young age both of my parents taught me that being humble is a virtue. Both of my parents are self-made.

My father [rest in peace] was from Brooklyn. Both of his parents were immigrants from Russia and Poland. They barely spoke english and were extremely poor. My grandfather passed away when my father was 6 and my grandmother was forced to put 3 of her 6 children in foster care. My father was among the 3 that went to an orphanage. He was never adopted by another family and managed to see my grandmother everyday. As a young boy, he shined shoes and did whatever he had to do to make money for his mother [who absolutely loved and adored all of her children.] You see, my grandmother couldn't feed all of her children, and she did what she had to do. My father understood.

As he became older and more independant, he also became aware that in order to make money, and live the life he wanted to live, he knew he had to be determined to succeed. He didn't know how or when...but he knew he would. There wasn't a seed of doubt in his mind.

He moved to Washington DC and woked as a chauffeur for a Limousine company. He loved feeling important in a suit and KNEW that in order to make money he had to be around those that HAD money. He was right. He was committed to being rich and rich he became...beyond his wildest dreams. By his mid 40's he owned the Limosine company. That company is still in business in Washington DC and although my father sold it shortly before his death...the people that work there remember him well...and fondly. My father was a character, charismatic in every way.

Thanks to his business and many years in that business, he became friends with a lot of celebs, like Bob Hope, whom he golfed with, Ronald Reagan whose family often called for Limousines, Frank Sinatra, among others.

He met Madonna, Michael Jackson, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby and the list goes on and on. He'd always come home with backstage passes or front row tickets to ANY event.

I grew up, however, in a middle class neighborhood. Yes there were Limo's parked outside my house but NEVER did my father show-off or change his disposition of that of being humble. In my 10 years with my father, only once was I taken to school in a Limo and that was because my father was in the hospital. When he found out he was furious! He didn't want me thinking I'm better than anyone else or wealthier.

I admire that about him.

I learned so much from him.

My father gave as much as he received. He spent heavily...and the more he spent the more money he made! It was his attitude that made him wealthy...NOT his job!

My mother had a degree in Physical Education and of course, when she married my father NEVER worked a day in her life. My mother is modest and humble as well. It's like she was the Jew in the marriage and my father the Catholic one...but it was the other way around. When my father died, my mother faced a huge dilemma...how would she continue to provide that same kind of lifestyle I was used to? The money and properties my father left would only last so long. But my mother is smart.

She moved to Peru and opened up a business. She now owns many properties and her business is a corporation. She is an excellent business woman. She lives quite comfortably...not like when my father was alive but very close. You see, my mother learned a lot from my father. A lot of relatives in my family learned from him too...and it is because of him that they are financially successful and wealthy today. My mother and my father have given me everything I need to succeed in life and it's not money...it's knowledge!

Wealth is acheived by your attitude and determination!

Want to be a millionaire? It's really easy. Here's how...

The following is taken from the book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker.

17 Ways Rich People Think AND Act Differently From Poor or Middle-Class People:

1) Rich people believe "I create my life." Poor people believe "Life happens to me."

2) Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to not lose.

3) Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.

4) Rich people think big. Poor people think small.

5) Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.

6) Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people.

7) Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

8) Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.

9) Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.

10) Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.

11) Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

12) Rich people think "both." Poor people think "either/or."

13) Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.

14) Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.

15) Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people wok hard for their money.

16) Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.

17) Rich people constantly learn and grow. Poor people think they already know.

 

WEALTH PRINCIPLE OF THE DAY:

If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard.

But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy.

 

*I'll be posting lots of stuff from this book in my following blogs*

Christmas is by far, one of THE funniest seasons ever! I have so much fun watching people stress about which presents to buy, what store to shop at, which coupon needs to be used first before it expires, which highway or route saves time and avoids traffic and...you get the picture.

See, for me, Christmas really isn't such a big deal. I lived in Israel for 4 years and I never celebrated Christmas...I celebrated Hannukah. I'm 50% Jewish and 50% Catholic, and neither one really does it for me. Bah. I'm just not into the whole festive balagan [which means chaos in Hebrew] that most people enjoy. It's exhausting! People exhaust me. And I have no patience.

What I love most about Christmas is the irony. Oh the irony of it all! Just the other day, my boyfriend [who waits 'til the very last week of Christmas to do his shopping in hopes of getting a better a deal] experienced something I like to call...God's humor.

As my boyfriend searched and searched, store after store, for the best deal on an ipod for his son, 2 things happened.

We had received a coupon from Best Buy titled The Mystery Certificate which entitled most people to $5 off any item in the store OR it could have a value of $5000 [although that rarely happens] but being the scatter-brain he is...he lost it. If he didn't have his head attatched to his body, believe me when I tell you...he would have lost it long time ago. I'm serious! So...he lost the coupon, and my God...it was a sad day in Rhode Island. But...listen to this...he didn't give up! He was determined to find a coupon, so his journey into the dark & mysterious world of the internet began.

And lo and behold...he found one!

Now the only problem was printing it. Since he doesn't have a printer in his house at the moment, he had to go to the library down the street to print it out but being the procrastinator that he is...he waited another 2 days to go to the library and guess what?

He couldn't find his driver's license so they wouldn't allow him to use the computers!

Ha!

I was in tears...laughing. Oh the irony! He obviously didn't find it as amusing as I did. But wait...the story doesn't end here.

It gets better!

So another 2 days go by. He finds his license. It was in the visor thingy of his car! Loving it. I couldn't help but snort. So we head off to the library and to the library we went. What normally takes 5 minutes took 20 because of traffic. He hates traffic. We finally get there. I decided I would wait in the car. It was too cold and windy that day and quite frankly, my body and mind are still trying to adjust to the notion of cold weather and the car was soooo warm and...you understand, don't you?

By now it's 3 days before Christmas. The ipod and ihome is YET to be bought. We have an unprinted coupon and it's being printed and it seems like today might just be the day Best Buy actually SEES us buying something!

He comes into the car. I don't see a smile on his face [I'm thinking someone must have pissed him off inside] but he does have a printout of something.

How odd! He's supposed to be thrilled. I'm perplexed. 

"What's wrong? Were you not able to print it out?" I ask, all confused.

"Yeah I printed it out..." He says all grumpy.

"So...what's the matter?"

"It's expired." He mumbles.

"What was that? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"It's expired."

"Oh my!" I reply and then I burst out laughing...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh the irony! Oh dear Lord...the irony!

He couldn't help but laugh but I knew deep down inside he was furious.

OH THE IRONY!

That's all.

Happy Holidays!

I am guilty of not loving myself enough.

I am guilty of finding fault in almost everything around me.

I am guilty of blaming others for my misfortunes.

I am guilty of spending too much energy on things that don't matter.

I am guilty of judging people to my own standards.

I am guilty of being a bitch for no reason.

I am guilty of not smiling enough.

I am guilty of not being more understanding.

I am guilty of not being completely honest with myself.

I am guilty of not living to my fullest potential.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND WHERE WE HAVE GONE WRONG...WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

There is really only ONE thing you can do...CHANGE.

Isn't it easier to change when we realize where we have gone wrong? And like Will Smith said in one of his movies..,"You don't know where you are going until you know where you've been."

Happy Holidays to all of you, and may your lives head in the direction of happiness, love & prosperity.

 

MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Don't think about the things you can't do.
Think about the things you can do.

No matter what the level of your ability is,
you have more potential than you can ever develop in a lifetime.

You have powers you never dreamed of.
You can do things you never thought you could do.
There are no limitations to what you can do
except the limitations of your own mind.

    JUST WATCH IT, PEOPLE. IT'S WORTH IT.


 
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHANCE


Use your imagination and look at things as they can be.
You know what you are today
but not what you may be tomorrow.

You can do anything you wish to do,
have anything you wish to have,
and be anything you wish to be.
You don't know what you can really do until you try.
All you have to do is to act on your dreams.

You have the power within you to do things
you never dreamed possible.
You would amaze yourself if you did
all the things you're capable of doing.
This power becomes available to you
as soon as you change some of your beliefs.

Success begins in your mind.

I believe we all have a purpose in life. Each and every one of us is here for a reason. But, are we living our lives the way we intended? Are we fulfilling our destiny? And are we working towards making our dreams come true?

Probably not and that saddens me. It really does because you are living somebody else's dream instead of YOUR dream. Time and time again I've heard people tell me "Listen, I've got a family to support and I just can't risk it" or "It's easier said than done."

These are your dreams, people! How can you deprive yourself of all the things you've ever wanted to do and accomplish? If not you, then WHO? Your wife? Husband? Neighbor? Parents? The answer is NO ONE. Only you can make your dreams your reality.

When I was in a state of confusion a while back I realized my life was stagnant due to my state of confusion. I knew what I wanted to do but was I really sure of HOW I was going to accomplish that? Not right then and there, that's for sure. I also knew, deep down inside, what kind of life I wanted to live so I decided to make A VISION BOARD. A vision board is a poster or board with stuff your dreams are made of. I cut out a whole lot of pictures, words, letters, and quotes from magazines and pasted them on a poster board. I decided to divide my Vision Board into parts: WHAT I WANT TO DO IN LIFE; PLACES I WANT TO GO; WHO I WANT TO HAVE; THINGS I WANT TO OWN.

I made a collage [spelling?] of all the things I would like to see happen in MY future. Guys, let me tell you...the moment I made my vision board I realized and remembered EXACTLY what needed to be done in my life. The transformation was almost instantaneous. My vision board is almost done but my head is well fastened on my shoulders and the sky is the limit when it comes to making your vision board. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. Once you set your goals on what you want, you'll find ways to get it. Simple.

I'm telling all of you about this because I believe that when we write down or see our dreams on paper, every day, we are reminded of the things that we want to do, need to do and HAVE TO DO in order to make our dreams come true. Many times we'll forget what we wanted out of life, but a vision board helps us remember each and every day the potential in us to shape our reality. You have to believe you CAN do it and convince yourself that it WILL happen.

I believe this is the formula for success:

"IF YOU CAN CONCEIVE IT, AND BELIEVE IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT."

Here are some pics I just took of my vision board [which I plan on framing when I'm done] so you get an idea of what it looks like.


















So, my question to you is..."Are you living your dream?"

I had a friend who was in a relationship with someone she met over the internet. However her relationship, the way I saw it...sucked. She's an idiot, to begin with, because she puts up with a guy who is...[hmmm, how can I say this nicely?]...an ASSHOLE. She's such a smart, sweet girl and if she had a healthier self-esteem she wouldn't look twice at the guy she is currently involved with. They both feed off each other's insecurities, it's pathetic.

I had to end that friendship because my "GOOD" advice was detrimental to her relationship and she obviously wanted to continue torturing herself and I just didn't have it in me to put up with her constant crying and whining. Every time I talked to her, she was having a fight with her boyfriend. She wasn't fun to talk to anymore or hang out with because she was all mopey, depressed and feeling sorry for herself. She had changed.

So that got me thinking and wondering...how much fighting is normal in a relationship? Who knows, maybe they are meant for each other? I don't know and quite frankly, I don't care anymore.

Most of us are either in a long term relationship with someone, single, divorced, or dating. Whatever your situation be, you've been in a relationship with someone. If you've been in a relationship, then you're bound to have argued. It's what couples do, so I've been told. No matter what relationship you are in, be it mother-daughter, father-son, husband-wife, girlfriend-boyfriend...it's bound to happen. Arguing is human nature.

All couples argue. Be it daily, twice a week or once a month. Arguments may range from screaming at each other, slamming a door or two, sleeping on the couch, silent treatment to physical and verbal abuse. The latter is obviously grounds for separation and/or divorce and if you are in a relationship like that KNOW that it MUST end...ASAP. No one deserves to be verbally or physically abused. But I digress.

How much arguing is normal and how much arguing is ok? The opposite is also true...if you're not arguing a lot...what is that saying about the relationship that you are in?

I'm no expert when it comes to relationships [God knows I've been to hell & back] but I can pretty much speculate that if you are arguing more than 3 times a week...you're pretty much in bad relationship, no matter how good it may be when you're not fighting. I think even arguing twice a week sucks. But is that the norm? What is the norm?

There were times in my life where arguing constantly WAS the norm. I didn't know any better. I was married. Isn't that what married couples do the first 2 years? I thought it was ok and so did my ex-husband, so we continued to argue. You know how that ended 5 years later? Divorce. That's right. We could never figure out if our arguing was "too much" so we tortured each other for quite some time until we realized it was OBVIOUSLY "too much" and ended it. And by "too much" I mean arguments that lingered on for days and weeks at a time. We absolutely HATED each other.

I know it's not right to throw things at people, but what about slamming doors? Is that not ok? Raising your voice? Wrong too? I mean, everyone talks about the things you SHOULDN'T do when you fight or argue...but what about the things that you SHOULD do? Anyone?

Here's what I think...if my guy does something that I think is wrong and deserves punishment...I immediately argue and depending on the degree of the burn...I'll break something of his. It has to be soooooooooooo horrible for me to go to that extreme. Trust me.

I'm not bad, but I have a bad side, know what I mean? I think we all do, but sometimes certain people just know what buttons to press and when you get to that "point of no return," the bad side comes out. I've been there one too many times. God I hated, absolutely HATED being a bitch. If I tell you, DON'T touch me when I want to walk out and breathe for 15 minutes so I can cool off and you just stand there and block the door and go on and on and on and on...CHRIST! That right there is my disclaimer!! The warning label on the package! Get the FUCK out my way. Simple. Let a woman breathe, for crying out loud. THAT idiot deserved every fucked up thing I ever did to him. So yeah, it's case-specific if you ask me. But where to draw the line? Where, people?

I thank God EVERY DAY I'm finally in a mature relationship. I got tired of slashing tires and bending antennas.

*Wink*

So I pose these 2 questions for you...

Is there a correct way to argue? And how many times a week is ok to argue?

I've had loads of people ask me "Why the name change, PB?"

PB is no longer.

[For those of you that are new...PB stands for PsYcHo BiTcH, which used to be my display name on this website.]

Why?

I'm not who I used to be nor do I care about the things I used to. Blogging isn't an addiction anymore and it's definitely not my priority. I don't care about the number of subscribers I have nor do I care about being Number 1...been there done that.

I used to be bitchy, volatile & [insert your own word here.] I've changed and that's that. I'm not the same person I was before. I've grown up.

It used to be all about Myspace. I HAD to be in the top 10; I had to blog and post at 6am; It had to be about Myspace...bla, bla, bla. I love blogging, don't get me wrong...but it's too time consuming and where I am in my life right now...I've got other priorities...an actual life with goals I have set to fulfill my lifelong dreams.

I've wasted too much time here on Myspace. I've wasted so much energy and quite frankly...after a while...it gets old. I blog when I feel inspired. I enjoy the comments and reply IF...I have the time. I'm actually planning on writing a book one day so maybe you'll see me around. I'm sure it will be a best-seller. Just wait & see. *wink*

I'll blog from time to time. About stuff that's boring, mushy, and whatever I feel needs to get eliminated from my system. Please don't ask me to participate in contests, blog-bashing, competing, etc. I don't care. I'm over it.

I just want to blog.

Don't get offended if I don't reply to your e-mails. Don't get offended if I don't read your blogs. Like I said...I just want to blog so don't take it personal. I thank you all for the beautiful e-mails & comments. I just don't have the time and I'm not here to make long-lasting friendships, meet people, etc. I'm here to unload my brain farts and since this is MY blog...I do what I want.

Ok...that's all. Carry on with your life. I'm off to watch "DEAL OR NO DEAL." Thank God for Tivo or whatever it's called.

I don't like certain people, and by "certain" I mean those poor, unfortunate souls I call "stupid" and "ignorant." That, in turn means...I dislike 95% of world.

You can educate the ignorant...but you can't do anything about the stupid. If you're stupid, you're fucked but the good news is you are too stupid to realize just how stupid you are and therefore your ignorance creates an impermeable bubble that allows you to perpetuate your stupidity...over and over and over again without you even knowing! Then you breed and pass it on and that, my friends...is why we have rampant stupidity & ignorance among us.

Unfortunately, for those that AREN'T stupid and/or ignorant...we have to deal with these poor, unfortunate souls for the rest of our lives. Because they're everywhere: Behind the cash register at Walgreens, driving right next you on the highway, on TV reporting the news and running this country, if you haven't already noticed.

Ignorance I can forgive. I mean, not EVERYONE is fortunate enough to take advantage of their education or get educated for that matter. Some think getting a degree is useless and many times I've overheard these same people say "I gone and did it but it ain't for me." Yeah...college may not be right for you. How about, I don't know...elementary?

See...the problem with ignorance is that it breeds hatred. When you're ignorant you fear what you don't know. I know some people that hate reading. I think they may have read perhaps 2 books in 24 years. The real reason is...they don't understand what the heck they're reading. It "don't make sense" to them therefore ANYONE that actually does enjoy reading and reads often is "a nerd." Their ignorance makes them hate what they don't understand and LABELING is born.

Same thing goes for all those bible-thumpers that come knocking to my door asking me "Is Jesus in you?" I reply "Only if Jesus is a Lesbian." The look on their faces...priceless. I don't think they understand I'm joking...truth is...they DON'T WANT to understand I'm joking. The Church teaches people to act like sheep so they just follow without questioning. That...my friends...IS STUPID. I wanted to tell the poor old bible-thumper I'm not really a Lesbian but the nasty look on her face pretty much told me I just got deemed "evil" and sent to Hell to burn with the rest of the sodomizers & what not. Yeah, I could tell she wasn't a huge fan of people who are "sexually curious," I mean, err...gay."

The church makes me sick. Never have I seen such nonsense and stupidity under the same roof. I don't mean to offend anyone...but that's just reality. If you do stuff because someone tells you to...you're a retard [and that's worse than stupid, in my book.] If you have to say 3 "Hail Mary's" & 4 "Our Fathers" because you masturbated...what can I say? I better just let them know now I rather keep my cozy, warm spot in Hell. The bottom line is...the church likes sheeple. Unfortunately, I don't like to follow and I actually like to ask questions so THEIR philosophy doesn't really suit me.

The government knows about this gimick the church uses and mimics it. That is why it forces us to do certain things [like put on our seatbelt] because they know we aren't smart enough to do so. It forces us to NOT drink and drive...because we're stupid and because some people out there just can't seem to comprehend WHY it's required, etc etc. It's all about social control, anyways.

So I think the government and church KNOW that they have to keep people stupid and ignorant in order for them to exist. It's funny [true story] I remember asking a priest once to explain the famous "TRINITY" to me because I still "don't get it." After using the socratic method with him I think he realized he can't even explain it and what he was taught to memorize to preach to the masses wasn't enough so he replies "Child, some things are not meant for you to understand. God doesn't want us to know everything. You have to just believe." Yeah...you're right...I'll just stop asking questions. To accept THAT as an answer, my dear friends...stupid. To be unable to explain something you are dedicating your life to...STUPID.

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.

I've got more to say on this subject but I'm gonna leave it for another day. My ADHD just kicked in...and my brain is tired.

One last thing before I go...how do YOU deal with stupidity & ignorance? Just curious.

Holidays with my family are always...fun.

Burp.

I'm forced to watch taped shows about self-empowerment & spiritual stuff [Larry King Live, Oprah, Dr. Phil, among many, many others] and get my hair done. And so is my boyfriend [except for the hair part.] We won't hear the end of it until we watch the tapes. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE stuff like that...but...who knows if my boyfriend wants to REALLY sit through that stuff? I mean this stuff doesn't really mesh that well with Christianity. He's Catholic. My family REALLY DISLIKES Catholicism. We don't buy into the church's mentality and stupidity and THAT...is a whole different blog...but my point being...what was my point? I feel like ranting about the Catholic Church now. Geez. Whatever.

Burp.

Now when I say "get my hair done" I'm not talking about getting it blow-dried or curled. Nope. Try coloring and cut. I now have chocolate hair and short hair. It's not really short it's more like "shoulder length"...my ass. Yeah, shoulder length when it's blow dried, NOT towel-dried! What? Am I supposed to blow dry my hair every day to use this hair style?

Not happening. Not in a million years! Isn't that going to damage my hair? [I also don't know how to blow-dry my own hair but that has NOTHING to do with it.]

So my hair is short...NOT shoulder length. It's cute, I think. I miss my LONG hair...it had trailor trash highlights!! How dare they force me to get rid of my cheap highlights! I guess since I'm not tan they looked ugly. Ugh. I need a tan. I digress.

*SIGH*

So the holidays are fun...down in Virginia. They really are! Especially in my family.

I took my boyfriend down to meet my family. He's still with me. He must be insane.
My mom might have tried to get him to "think twice" about being with me. I'm difficult, a little immature and irresponsible at times. Grrrrrreat! Yes! That's me, alright...but did you HAVE TO tell him NOW? I just met him 2 months ago! YOU just met him YESTERDAY!

It's a conspiracy! My mother is STILL trying to control my life and sabotage my relationships! Or not. Whatever. However my mother is VERY over-possesive...and that's a fact. Only child here, hello. I think she would be happy seeing me as a nun...and that's just so sad because at this stage...going to Heaven is not an option. I practically own Hell.

Burp.

The next thing I know...my aunt is talking about her meditation tapes.

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRelax Yor TONG. The RRRooooot of Yor Tong. The Tip of Yor Tong." [INSERT STRONG INDIAN ACCENT HERE]

What was that?

Relax your tongue? How are you supposed to relax your tongue? The roooooot of your tongue? Is that like shut up? Or more like stick your tongue out and drool?

I'm confused.

Burp. Now my stomach is relaxed.

Anyfart, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed and embarrassed. Right? RIGHT?

That's all for now. I need some vegetation for my Brontosaurus.

For those of you that asked...THIS is what I look like now. Headband and flannel pijamas courtesy of K-MART [They had an awesome deal on flannel pijamas. Don't judge me!]

*Wink*

Ok. Here's the thing...I have gas...sometimes. It's not BAD, but I do feel the need to let loose every once in a while...and in my sleep [so I've been told.] It's not a terrible thing. It's natural. It's gas. It does the body the good.

So I'm sitting here watching TV with my man and I casually, nonchalantly interupt him as he's talking to me about something [obviously something which isn't more important than the bubbles and gurgles forming in my stomach] and say "can I fart?"

I know there is a 90% chance it won't smell and I fear what were to happen if I don't let loose. Seriously...it's not like I go around farting and scratching my nuts like some trailer trash resident on welfare. No, nothing like that.

I have a theory that EVERYTHING can be solved by taking a shit. Stomach hurts or feels funny...take a shit. Headache, migraine, backache, toothache...take a shit. Just sitting on the bowl has a therapeutic effect. No?

I think it does. I also shit like clockwork. Every morning at the same exact time I head for the bathroom 'cause I know it's THAT time. After eating, I smoke a ciggie and BAM! I must "drop the kids off at the pool," if you know what I mean.

My boyfriend doesn't get it. He doesn't understand THIS. He thinks I'm weird 'cause my body is trained like that. I don't know, I guess pooping in my family is different. Don't judge me!

I digress. How did I go from farting to shitting? Nevermind. So like I was saying, I asked if I could fart, right? Now he says to me [with the weirdest expression I've ever seen on him] "you're not supposed to fart until at least 6 months into the relationship!"

"Really? Says who? Why 6 months? What happens during the 6th month that farting is now permitted?" I reply as I begin to move my legs around holding my fart in.

He was too busy laughing to reply. I think he has issues with poop and farts. According to him...he hasn't farted since he was 11. Yeah right.

But I'm serious. I wouldn't let out a load, nasty smelling one. Ok, I can't guarantee they will be odorless but I can assure you I know when they will make a noise. Usually they are silent but deadly but if I have a blanket I can keep the smell in so it's not toxic to the rest of the world. See I know HOW to fart. I wouldn't just let loose like an animal.

Oh come on...like YOU have never done this. Please. I know I'm young but I wasn't born yesterday. We all have flatulence.

Is it NOT ok to fart in front of your partner before the 6th month? Just curious.

If you are ever in an elevator with me and you KNOW someone farted...it was ME.

I'm not one to talk about the sad shit that has happened to me in my life but sometimes...I have to.

I'm human. I feel the need to share my experiences because it's human nature. The saddest thing in life is having a memory and nobody to share it with.

Losing a loved one isn't easy. Life does go on, but it is never the same. I've lived with a hole in my heart ever since I lost my father at the age of 10.

I know most people can't remember that far back, but I can. I remember stuff from childhood as if it were yesterday. I remember almost every moment I ever shared with my father. I'm an only child and I was and always will be "daddy's little girl."

Growing up without a father perhaps damaged me. Just watching my mother traumatized me. I don't think I've ever seen anyone cry so much like she did. She lost her soulmate. My parents were so happy, so in love and above everything...so meant for each other. My mother had her "knight in shining armor."

Perhaps that is why I've always looked for my own fairytale, refusing to believe they don't exist. Who knows. All I know is that I miss him. I miss him more as I get older.

I have a huge hole in my heart. There are many nights I just lay in bed and cry. I cry because he isn't here to see the person I am today...and that is someone I am proud of.

It's been 17 years since he died on an operating table undergoing heart surgery. Call me perceptive, call me intuitive...I knew he was going to die before he did. That's how strong our father-daughter bond was.

People say it gets better in time. It doesn't. It never will. And I'm ok with that. But it hurts. Every father's day is painful; everytime I see a father and daughter my stomach churns; everytime I see people that don't appreciate their parents I get angry. Don't they see how lucky they are to have BOTH of their parents?

4 years ago I lost my 16 year old cousin. I miss her. My cousins and I are all close. We're like brothers and sisters. I love them so much. She died in a car accident in Maryland. The person driving the car was drunk and did a U-turn at 80 mph. My cousin didn't have a chance. She died instantly. Her neck snapped. We saw her shortly after they had pulled her from the wreckage. Painful? I don't have any words to describe it...but yeah, something like that.

I can't seem to get over these deaths. I have moved on but the pain hasn't, know what I mean? I know it will never go away as long as I remember them. Is that such a bad thing? Must we learn to live with the pain and is there any real way to live with pain successfully?

I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of leaving loved ones behind when I die. I don't know. Death just isn't easy. As I prepare to fly down to Virginia to be with my family for Thanksgiving, I can't help but feel happy but sad in a way. I miss my dad and cousin. How I wish they would be there.

 

I'd like you to keep this question in mind as you read my blog:

"Should lighter sentences be awarded to criminals that help solve other cases?"

I've never understood how people can just snap and out of nowhere...do something completely irrational like put their hands on someone else and hurt them. And then...kill them. I just don't get it. I don't believe anyone [even the government] has the right to take another person's life.

I am completely against Capital Punishment. No matter what...no one has the right to condemn someone, ANYONE to death. That is God's job, not ours. I don't know how many times I've watched a show on TV about a man who was wrongly imprisoned, spent years on death row, only for investigators to find out the man was indeed innocent.

This one case stands out where a man spent 13 years on death row for the murder of some man. He had 2 trials and both juries found him "guilty" beyond reasonable doubt. A year before his scheduled execution, a man in another state is imprisoned and in order to receive a lighter sentence, confessed to knowing about a murder that had taken place 15 years prior. This guy's information set a man on death row free.

Now think of all the cases where people, innocent people, have been wrongly incarcerated and/or killed. You don't want to think about it nor do you know about too many of these cases, right? Of course. The government doesn't want you to know about this. How could they? It would damage their reputation, and on top of that, they make it known that it is a jury that decided a man's fate, not them and therefore they have no reason to "pay" for that mistake.

That's right. A man goes to prison, spends years of his life in there, God knows what else he has endured during his stay, along with losing a good portion of his life , sanity and morale only to find out he will not get any restitution for this mistake. And what was this man's mistake, perhaps? Being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

But this is not the point of my blog. I asked you at the beginning of my blog to keep a question in your mind as your read. Do you think people that help solve a case should receive lighter sentences for doing so?

For example...A man is taken in for the suspected murder of so-and-so and in realizing he is totally screwed, decides to give the cops information that could indeed solve another case...should this man get ANYTHING for it? I mean, he is, a murderer. He is trying to cover his ass BUT he is helping put another criminal in prison and letting an innocent man clear his name.

Prisons, and jails have over 50% of African Americans. It is no secret that more black men and women are incarcerated than hispanics or whites. Is it that black people are more likely to be criminals than whites or any other cultural minority? I think not. To assume that is ignorant. So...what's the deal? I think there are more innocent men & women in our prisons and jails than there are criminals.

Here's what I think. I say, SURE. Reduce part of a criminals' sentence. One innocent man's life is worth it. If this can indeed be used as a tool in our correctional system then I say "Why not?" Maybe this method can set more innocent men free.  What's your take?