Greetings from warm, sunny florida!

Well, ok, it's only been dark since I've been here but it was 69 degrees outside when I arrived. How great is that?

I arrived safely, miraculously getting out of the Denver airport seriously hours to minutes before it began getting shut down due to weather. Again. But I made it to my destination, Melbourne Beach, Florida for a few days before I head on toSao Paulo, Brazil Sunday afternoon.

This morning on the way out of  Caleb's driveway, I ran back inside to retrive my ipod charger I so carelessly forgot. Or, rather, I tried to run back inside. Instead I found myself on my hands and knees, completley getting my legs knocked clean out from under me.(Caleb, your ice is slippery.) Thankfully I surived only with a scraped knee and an even larger hole in my jeans. Reminding me yet again one more reason why I am leaving and totally looking forward to a warm climate! (Have I mentioned I hate winter?)

I am staying with my brother in laws parents here near Orlando. They are amazingly wonderful, and I really like the river front property and beach only half a mile away.

That's it for now, looks like I have plenty of internet access while in florida.

12/28/06

Most of you know by now, but I am leaving the States. I will be in Florida from today till Sunday, then Brazil till June. After that I'll be back east for a month or so, so I won't be back to Utah till August.

I will be in contact via email and myspace mostly: sunathetuna@gmail.com. I will miss you all but will also enjoy summer all year long! Hehehe....

Also, my friend Jes will be taking over my cell phone while I'm gone- so don't try to call or text me, she may not like it. When I come back I should have the same number though, so don't delete me!

Love to all,

Susanna Metzger

"The medical definition of SAD is: symptoms of depression coinciding with seasons of shorter days and less sunlight. This is blamed on the so-called biological internal clocks, or circadian rhythm, and it is said that SAD sufferers are more likely to be women and younger persons. Other symptoms include a craving for sugary foods, such as sweets, candies, and refined carbohydrates."
SAD Disease Article

I think I might actually have this. I don't normally claim medical problems, but for years I've wondered why I get so moody and down every winter, and it always gets worse. Now I think there might *gasp* actually be a real reason!!!!!

throughout my short career of car-driving (age 17-22) I've had some awful experiences. and not just the "semi turns into you because he decided he wants to switch lanes even though you're right next to him" or the "I just did a 180 on that invisible slick icey spot and landed in oncoming traffic in a 60 mph zone, good thing no one was coming" even the "susanna, someone just hit your car. yes I know it's parked and you're not in it. yes I know it was a cop. somehow he didn't see it...." type scenarios.

no, i mean when the car itself decides to weird out. for instance:

'84 honda civic, automatic. parents car. first one i drive. doesn't shift properly, have to two-foot it so it doesn't stall. power steering doesn't work.

'84 ford van. automatic. (big guy) parents car. brakes screech incessantly; costant two-footing or else, it stalls. did I mention, big?

'92 oldmobile achieva. automatic. (dad's car.) good car until a spark plug decided to constantly come loose, therefore just dying....somtimes at red lights. good thing people in tooele are kind and helpful.

'94 Ford Escort. automatic. my first car. good car, untill it decided to start stalling, all the time. everywhere. have to two-foot it for months, till I finally take it in and find out the vacuum valve broke. get that fixed. heater goes out. dead of winter. lemme tell you, driving to work in a frozen (on the inside!) car in january, 5 AM to work, is no fun. even with a blanket wrapped around me and gloves on my hands, it was miserable. fix that. battery dies. new battery. drive to work and the timing belt slips. fix that. drive to cali and the car starts draining gas, insanely fast. find out some spark plugs are shot. fix that. timing belt slips again. destroyed the engine. junk that car.

'91 chrysler Lhs. automatic. caleb's old car, now dads. new transmission, but still has problems. sometimes won't reverse. initiialy would roll backwards! on me when I tried to give it gas. sometimes won't shift gears, thus only allowing 55 mph max, even though it's a 60 zone. sometimes the turn signals won't work, at all.

do you sense a theme here? I don't like old cars. I depsise always fixing them. caleb felt the same why. (reason why the LHS is now my dad's.) so caleb bought a new car. a hybrid prius. beautiful. we called it a spaceship. then he wrecked it.

needless to say, I want a dependable vehicle next time around.

might I add: sometimes, people really bug me. like when they dump cardboard behind our store. must I clean up after everyone AND THEIR MOM?? if you ever decide to go into a grocery store, have an employee go to the trouble of aquiring empty boxes for you to move, then you dump them in a messy pile behind their store when you are done moving, I have one word for you. ENEMY!!!! please don't ever do that to someone. it's just lame.

on a higher note: my day was actually fine, and these sad events didn't damper my spirits; just caused a general annoyance.

so I have to reactivate a credit card. the sticker on the front says "24 hours, 7 days a week. one call activates all cards." neato. I can call at 10:54 PM, right? wrong! I call, they forward my call, then a message plays, telling me "we are now closed. please call back during local business hours."

what the freakin heck??? what perfect idiots. right, I forgot. this is the credit card I got first, from key bank. they didn't even used to have online access. may I suggest, never get a keybank card? try US Bank or Chase, much better.

I hate Key Bank.

yes I do. I have a guilty pleasure. and it's nerdy. I like nba basketball. I've been a utah jazz fan since I was small (my dad's fault) and this year their record is 10-1. The best, might I add, in the entire nba? yes that's right. the formerly "pathetic" utah jazz, whom everyone thrived on jeering at, is the best team in the nba. and I am happy. I also like to watch the games on tv. how's that for being honest?

A few years ago, I thought I was too good for some people. specifically, people in Tooele county. Looking back now, I realize I was 19. (the age when everyone gets a know it all attitude and thinks the world truly does revolve around them.) I also realize I was arrogant. Somehow, my attitude slowly went from loving and gracious to haughty and self-absorbed. How, I do not know. I know why. For some reason I thought all small town people were dumb. Close-minded. Not important. Not as good as me. Uggg. I shudder, now. Thinking of it. Who am I to say who's better? Wait a second, since when is anyone "better" than anyone else, anyway? let's just say, I'm glad I obeyed God and stayed at my job. Let's just say, I'm glad I learned to love everyone, not just people like me or people I think are "worthy". let's just say, I'm not 19 anymore. And am I ever glad of that!

Actually, thinking about quitting my job to go to Brazil makes me sad in some ways. It's so exciting and will be worth it, but I am going to miss some things, and strangely enough, a lot of it is linked to Tooele county. Odd.

My bio is up on the ACTION site, take a look:

Susanna's Bio on ACTION's Website

The democrats won the house. hmm. what do you think of this?

Next week will be the one-year anniversary of Kyle Lake..s death. Many people remember him as an amazing pastor and great friend. Others simple heard the news of a man getting electrocuted to death last year, while baptizing someone. However people remember him, he definitely made a huge impression in his short life.

Anniversaries of deaths are one of the most depressing and difficult kinds to deal with. Others, such as divorce, injuries, losing jobs, etc, can be painful as well, but death anniversaries strike me as more so.

The death of Kyle Lake is one you just cannot wrap your mind around. Death from sickness is more ordinary, or death from old age. Even car accidents or overdoses are more explainable in the sense that you can understand the corrupt circumstances or human error that took place. But death from electrocution while baptizing someone? That seems too random, too chance. Unexplainable. How do you make your child understand his dad died from water and a microphone? That daddy was doing something good and because of it, he..s gone for the rest of your life on earth? Coming to grips with this kind of death is hard because your questions ..why?.. or ..what if?.. and ..why him?.. really have no clear answer. Nothing cut and dried to comfort you with.

You might say that since Kyle did nothing wrong, that the death was mere chance, or no sin was involved; perhaps it may be easier to pick up and move on. Knowing his life was lived well and he..s now with God; well, rejoice in his fortune and relish the memory of him. I beg to differ.

Because Kyle Lake was so well loved, because Kyle had a great family who enjoyed him immensely, and because he make such an impact, him not being there leaves a hole. Relationships ended abruptly with people you love deeply are hard to get used to. You cannot simply adjust and say, ..oh well, he..s gone. Now he..s in heaven with God so let..s change our life and just get used to it... Your whole life pattern is changed. There are those moments you share which are gone. The deep friendships shared with someone like Kyle are severed in an instance, and change so altering such as this cuts deeply, affecting your whole life.

Answers still are hard to come by; acceptance of this event must even now be a journey in itself. Witnessing the tragic pain and suffering caused by such a loss might caution us to not love so deeply, to avoid committing so much in a relationship- because who knows, you may lose that relationship abruptly as well, and you don..t want that heartache. Easier, it must be, to just keep people at arms length. Just in case. Avoiding pain at all costs seems to be a reasonable course to take.

Deep down, however, we know how faulty that logic truly is. Jesus himself loved at all costs, not avoided at all costs. He loved with not only the possibility of loss, but also the reality. Just look at Judas. Jesus knew Judas..s heart but loved him all the same. Kyle Lake, we can safely gather, would probably encourage us to do the same. His very words speak plainly of this: "Love God, Embrace Beauty, and Live Life to the Fullest." He was well known for speaking this, and can we not agree, perhaps part of, ..live life to the fullest.. would include loving to the fullest?

Let us not allow the pain and suffering of random events to block our unconditional and fullest love for each other. Though tragic deaths like Kyle..s might put fear in our hearts for our loved ones, and give us qualms when we need to love someone, the examples Jesus and Kyle Lake left us speak plainly of doing the opposite. Rather, we need to love even more sweetly and deeply simply because life is so precious and unpredictable.

So in honor of Kyle Lake, and the anniversary of his departure to join his Father in heaven, let us squelch that ungodly fear of loving with our all, and instead, brazenly and openly love: unconditionally, randomly, brokenly, and most assuredly; love to the fullest. In memory of Kyle Lake, let us love, to the fullest.


Susanna Metzger 10-21-06