Hello everyone,

There are but 3 Christmas records worth listening to.
'Fairytale Of New York', obviously. Then you've got 'Christmas In Prison' by John Prine and of course 'Christmas Wrapping' by The Waitresses.

The Waitresses were formed by Chris Butler, a man I met a few years back at a music festival. Interesting guy - we talked a bit about me bringing him over to the UK to do some shows but I didn't know how or what to do about it.

Anyway, he has the Guinness World Record for the longest pop song ever recorded ('The Devil Glitch' from 1995 on Future Fossil Records), he invented Vertical Swimming Pools, and he released a single in 1995 that was recorded without electricity or microphones on 100-year-old wax cylinders using a hand-cranked Edison "Spring Motor" phonograph (c.1898). And he was in the crowd of students who got fired upon by The Ohio National Guard at Kent State University in 1970. And I think he told me he used to share an appartment with Richard Lloyd from Television.

Like I say, interesting guy.

He also made this crackers album called The Best Of Kilopop which was basically an excuse for him to pretend he had been in this crazy experimental European group with an invented history spanning 30 years. Some incredible tunes on this one. But if anyone reading this has the inclination - check out his 1997 solo LP 'I Feel A Bit Normal Today'. I go back to it once or twice a year and always find something new on it.

Anyhow, Actress Hands have been hard at it with the pen, paper & piano over the last couple of months composing the next LPs worth of material - a collection to be entitled 'Survivor's Guilt'.
Lots of new songs written - 'The Throat', 'I've Got The Keys To A Closed Shop', 'Backwards Man', 'The Tooth', 'Swinging Mary', 'Dursley Girl (Driving Over You)' & 'Say Hi From Me' - to name but a few.

Aside from Actress Hands affairs - Phil is off on tour with British Sea Power for the most of the first part of the year (I just cannot wait to hear 'Do You Like Rock Music?'), Johny is just starting work on the new Thirty Pounds Of Bone LP and Joel is demoing stuff with The Tenderfoot which is eventually gonna come out on Drift I believe. What I've heard so far is just awesome. 

Our own studio space is now up and running so its going to be a more homely recording this time round. We'll be announcing dates in the New Year so stay in touch.

Merry Christmas Everybody.

Mattress Hands xx.

Well, the album 'Boys Need Jazz' is finally out. You can buy it in shops and it is available from most reputable download services.
Thanks to Fiona, Jack, Alice and (the man without whom none of this would be possible) Mrs Iain Huddy for all their efforts in making this 'shit' happen. Love you all.

We've played live a few times in this last month - primarily to give you all the opportunity to say "you're so much better live than you are on record" some more and for us to play snippets of new things we're working on for our next (our fourth!) album which we're going to call 'Survivor's Guilt'.

So basically - thanks to the organisers of both Truck Festival and The End Of The Road Festival. Is there a better music festival than EOTR? We think not. But apparently there is - Alice, our manager, has informed us that after attending almost every festival this summer, Connect Festival up in Scotland is THE ONE. Looked like it as well - Big Star, The Only Ones, 1990s, Divine Comedy, Teenage Fanclub, Le Reno Amps.... next year. Next year...

We played a show at The Hanbury Ballroom in Brighton this week. It was an occassion cos I used to live and work there and 'Boys Need Jazz' was pretty much written there. And also we got to decide the bill. So we asked The Tenderfoot and Dead Singer.

First up were The Tenderfoot, who at present perform but once a year. They played some new stuff that was just sublime. Literally, sublime. They had a new thing that was apparently a medley of two songs that was throwing very accurate arrows at the dartboard where only Curt Boettcher, Jimmy Webb & Jack Nitzsche regularly score 180.

The middle group was Dead Singer, a band containing (barely containing) our good friend Damo Waters. The guitarist had an incredible sounding Italian-made amp that he'd bought for £25 from a newsagents and played like a Zeus, the bass player wore some kind of Sarong and had a fan blowing his hair out of his face, Damo on the drums was just ferocious - people often lazily compare drummers to Keith Moon, but as ex-Hands member Joe Harling turned and said very seriously to me during their performance, "he's actually as good as Keith Moon". If that wasn't enough, they have a trombone player instead of a singer, the most rock wind-instrumentalist since our own Phil Andrews. An utterly amazing band. Think The Who meets Circle.

Right, time to go. We're gonna do a wee tour in November so look out for that. In the meantime we're gonna write and subsequently record the rest of 'Survivor's Guilt'.

One more thing, whilst flicking through YouTube I found this. Its a near flawless exhibition of weapons-grade conversation. It made me a bit sad that celebrities and chat shows aren't like this anymore. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0cRolJ_hIw  

Mattress Hands xx.  

Mariah has recently launched a new fragrance simply titled 'M'.

This is her advertising quote to accompany the product;

"For me, creating this scent was like creating a song. It takes many notes to compose a fragrance. Its like a beautiful melody."

Thats her best ever lyric. And its not even in one of her songs. Thats how good she is.

Mattress xx.

Thats more like it. A small festival with two tents for live music (when one band finishes on one stage, the compere announces the next band on the other stage), one tent for beer, and no mud. Its held in a carpark, its by the sea, there was about 750-1000 people and it was lush.

We were on the main stage at 10pm - did the decent thing and played loud, fast and out of tune, bigged up Budleigh Scaffolding and forgot to 'play the single'. Why? Cos we were too busy playing loud, fast and out of tune. When we left the stage an old dude with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand put his arm round me and goes "....man, that was, you know, man, just.... I saw the fucking Stones in '71 man, and that was y' know, just....that was enough for me, man, that did it, man!"

So thanks to all the organisers of Budstock, especially Joe, Jonny and Tim - very well done.

I've just bought 'Here Comes Inspiration' by Paul Williams and 'The Confessions Of Dr Dream and Other Stories' by Kevin Ayers on vinyl and my stereo has broke before I've had a chance to listen to them. This is bad.

Our albums out soon. This is good. 

Mattress xx.   

I now live in a community where people don't have any running water. It may last for up to 2 weeks. I'm trying to do as many weird things as possible to do with having no water so that I'll remember it later in life through a series of crazy anecdotes.

Bit quiet of late, but its like that innit? But here is the current news from our world....

1) Our new album 'Boys Need Jazz' is out on September 10th on Life Is Easy Records.
2) That month we will be appearing at Truck Festival in Steventon and The End Of The Road Festival in Dorset.
3) Also that month we'll be performing at our re-opened old stomping ground The Hanbury Ballroom alongside The Tenderfoot (but I thought they'd...) and Dead Singer (a guaranteed treat for early arrivals).
4) We are writing away for our next album which we will be recording in October.
5) Thanks to everyone who downloaded 'Come The Summer Days'. I believe there's to be a 7" release around the time of the album. 

So, while you're waiting for the release of 'Boys Need Jazz', content yourselves with something in the meantime. I suggest 'Retox' by Turbonegro, Phil suggests 'Our Love To Admire' by Interpol, Johny would, if asked, probably suggest something like 'Nighthawks At The Diner' by Tom Waits and Joel, I imagine would suggest 'Born Again In The USA' by Loose Fur.

Happy days. The country's being run by a Scottish Presbyterian! Run for cover and save your water!

Mattress xx.

'Come The Summer Days' is out on a limited download release this week...

Actress Hands sound like a band who have grown robust through the demands of touring, yet retain that wide-eyed wonder that sees Come the Summer Days glow opaque with poetic sentiment. There are few bands around that take more robust pearls and make them shimmer in grand pop style, but the Hands do it with terrific, ambiguous poise. - Music OMH

'Come the Summer Days' is a perfect soundtrack for those with their eye on a certain somebody and lost in the wiles of love, harnessing a sugar coated power pop throb from the finest sources to be found along the west coast, this serenading summer sheen like love note sumptuously draws upon in equal measures the classic blueprint laid down by The dB's and threads through it an arresting array of honey crusted harmonies trademarked by mid 70's Beach Boys. - Losing Today 

Can't really put it into words - so I'll write it down....(first four dates were with The Electric Soft Parade and The Chris TT Band. The rest were with Le Reno Amps).

Manchester. Roadhouse. Brilliant first night. Went charging into the opening slot heads down. Crowd levitate.

Leeds. Cockpit. Incredible show. Man in sunglasses called Chris sings us a good luck song outside a pub before we go on. Empty room when we started so we cracked open the stand-up. What do you know? By 'Never Run' (third course) room is full. By the end of our set its like Bonfire Night in Heaven. Chris TT and the White brothers forced back to the drawing board.

Bristol. Thekla. By this point, we all know the drill - we buy the Christmas Tree, Chris TT Band put the decorations up then ESP switch the lights on.

Southampton. Joiners. Soundman Mike steps to the fore and Graphic Equalizes Hampshire a new ribcage. We part company with Chris TT and his band (Lucy, John & Damo) and ESP. We've all learnt something. Specifically, Damo is the most exciting drummer we've ever seen; Chris TT is a lyricist in a league of one; John is the nicest quiet man any of us have ever met; Lucy owns a guitar we all want to steal; Thomas is an impressionist of A1 standard (his Docherty is uncanny and his Kemptown John is a showstopper); Priesty is the most ex-Dodgy drummer we've ever seen; Matt T has a bar-long bass riff for special occassions and Alex really, really, REALLY enjoys the sound of Genesis 71-81....

Aberdeen. Dirty Hearts Club @ Snafu. Promoted by Steve from The Little Kicks - sound taken care of by Iain. My favourite pillow and sleeping bag selflessy donated to overly medicated drunk man. Punches and kicks exchanged by no less than 4 different parties before we went on stage. Actress Hands slay an empty room, Le Reno Amps slay Joel, Johny and Phil who'd never seen them before.

Dundee. Westport Bar. Andrew and Liam from The Hazey Janes and that dude with the British Sea Power 'Open Season' bear tattooed on his shoulder are treated to the live debut of 'Do You Have The Heart?' Dundee learns to love again. Le Reno Amps are making us nervous. They're too good and so far up our street we're practically neighbours.

Glasgow. Nice and Sleazy's. I dunno what it was. Maybe the fact that rock royalty are in the house (Jo & Elvis from Valerie and Marc from Brakes), but both the Amps and the Hands lose their footing tonight. In Glasgow! Nooooo! Phil and Joel stay in the West End with Marc, Susie and Keith - a whisky business. Myself and Johny stay in Pollokshields with Jason and Al. Very whisky indeed.

Edinburgh. The Bongo Club. Back to business. The Feckin' Dae It Dancers join us onstage for 'Do You Have The Heart?'. It kills. We're back in the opening slot driving seat. Its where we feel most dangerous. But Le Reno Amps come out with some Shea Stadium shit and we put our egos back in the holster. For now....

Leeds. Dr Wu's. Show of the tour so far. Its a tiny bar with a big clock. But we literally stop time with a show that was fit to burst when - Chris walks in. Chris from before the Cockpit show a week earlier! He tears the dancefloor up with some Wreckless Eric/Plastic Bertrand shit before I disappear outside on to Call Lane to share the solo during 'Loggerhorns' with Al from The Amps. Its called showmanship, kids. Eat it.

Sheffield. The Corporation. Some localised narrative butchery from Kill The Captains opens the show who impress us all with their crazy overpacked suitcase vibe. Amps manage to stamp out lying in the space of one half-hour display of musical truth. We play to about 12 ecstatic Sheffielders then walk offstage to a waiting iced bucket of Moet. We're that good.

Manchester. Night and Day. Legendary venue and all that, but seriously.... they fucked up the booking and wouldn't even buy us a pint.

London. Metro. Lucy, John & Damo are in the audience. We want to show them how much we've grown. We play an almighty gig. In London. We cannot believe it. In London. Actually in the West End. A great Actress Hands show. I'm starting to wonder if Le Reno Amps are my favourite band of all time. All the boxes are ticked and they're amazing people... so I guess.....

Brighton. Engine Room. If you were there, you were there. If you weren't? Well, see you next time.

Mattress xx.

Here is some news - there are some records out this week by our future touring partners Le Reno Amps and Electric Soft Parade.

I believe a one-stop shop at HMV and about £12 means you'll walk away with the new Le Reno Amps album 'So For Your Thrills' and The Electric Soft Parade's new 7" single 'If Thats The Case, Then I Don't Know'.

Le Reno Amps' record has been described by Vic Galloway on Radio Scotland as "Country-Punk with a smidgeon of Power-Pop. It's like the Everly Brothers teaming up with The Pixies, whilst Tom Waits and Weezer try and get a word in" - and described by Actress Hands as "songwriting genius delivered casually by the rock-solid. Awash with geniune aural bounce and spidered optimism - we're involved".

ESP's new single is "groovier than 'Golden Skans' - put it down to the octopus-on-crack drumming" according to the NME. Actress Hands however describe it thus; "changes gear more frequently than a rally driver attempting to circumnavigate Ludwell Maize Maze in under 4 minutes whilst 'The Best Satifying Riff Album In The World...Ever' CD plays at full volume on the car stereo".

"For thats what its akin to" - Half Man Half Biscuit.

Buy these records and then come to the shows. Cos thats how it works! 

Mattress Hands x.

Its on the horizon. The first proper Actress Hands tour. Yes, we've toured before, but due to issues of general life admin (jobs, bills, other halves, other bands, rent, signing on etc), we've had to keep it down to a few days at a time here and there.
Which is great, needs must and all that, but in April we set out for a proper two or three weeks of finding our way round Scotland and England playing you, the listener, stuff off our new album 'Show Madelaine' (Life Is Easy Records). Check our tour dates to see if we're coming to near your place. 

So, in the immortal words of the Blues Brothers; "We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of smokes, I'm left-handed and you suffer from hayfever. When's the next services? Did you just growl? Lets get this low budget indie label with an eclectic roster show on the road!"

Aaaaanyway, the best part of all this is - have you checked out who we're playing with on these dates? How does this sound; The Electric Soft Parade and The Chris TT Band (April 25-29) and Le Reno Amps (Mar 3-11).

The Electric Soft Parade. Genius. Beyond criticism. New album 'No Need To Be Downhearted' (Truck Records) out in April. Its of a very high standard.
Chris TT. Brilliant. Says loads of important stuff. The undisputed king of talking to an audience in between songs (made a terrible, yet many-layered Ryan Adams gag onstage at End Of The Road festival last year). Everyone always says hes like Billy Bragg. But wait! He also likes Yo La Tengo.
Le Reno Amps. Our new favourite group. From Glasgow and have made two albums 'LP' and new one 'So For Your Thrills'. They're rad.  

Oh yeah, 'No Laughs Comedy'. Is that the same implication as 'No Nonsense Rock and Roll? I don't know.

Mattress Hands xx.