http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icAoTK6CRYo

They let us ad-lib and wound up using it...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6515e3744e/ma-men

Hi there. I had an interesting comedy experience last night that I wanted to share with America and other people who can speak/read English. First I will say that I do a lot of comedy all over the place and have performed in a variety of locations and under a variety of circumstances, both wonderful and shitty. That is normal if you do comedy and are not very famous. You do a show in a horrible bar where people hate you and tell you to shut up one night and then you perform at a nice, shiny Improv in a suburb where polite people clap and laugh and thank you for being delightful the next. That variety and juxtaposition is not part of the deal; it is the deal.
Two days ago, my friend Will called me and asked if I would do a show for the camp that he runs for people with disabilities. A very nice restaurant in Beverly Hills, called the Roxbury Café had agreed to let the camp take over for the night and have a comedy show.
I have volunteered with Will’s camp, The Cheshire Project on and off for about five years and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, so I said “Yes, Will, it is with much pleasure that I will come do this show.”
I should also mention that I met my wife while volunteering at this camp (or rather, their “mother ship” camp in Massachusetts, Camp Jabberwocky, out of which Will’s California Cheshire Project grew.) Camp Jabberwocky has been around for almost sixty years, and it helps disabled people have truly amazing summers, for free.
Back to my wife: She is a very sexy woman. She is so sexy that if the world were “fair” she would be put in a cage and stared at by rabble, not just enjoyed by selfish, horrible me. So even though I was trying to be a good counselor at the camp and do my job of feeding, bathing and wiping campers’ butts, she would be being sexy within a fifty-foot radius of me, thereby putting herself in great danger. I should also mention that she is a very “good” person, by which I mean kind, selfless, smart and funny. We met almost five years ago and we’ve been married for almost three. If you would like to see naked pictures of her, email me.
So last night I arrived at the Roxbury Café (whose Gypsy Burger I highly recommend; the owners are from Sarajevo so they know what real Gypsies eat [they eat burgers]) and saw all my Cheshire buddies. There were maybe fifty people there, campers and counselors. I asked Will who the other comedians in the lineup were and he said it was just me and Bobby Collins. Bobby Collins and his wonderful family have been involved in the camp for many years. Bobby has a daughter who is disabled and very adorable. He has another daughter and wife who are also adorable and 100% lovely people. Bobby himself is an asshole, however. What I mean is: he is a very nice guy and I love him. I grew up watching Bobby on TV so it was fun to be on the bill with him in these unique circumstances.
I prepared my set somewhat more meticulously than normal, because the audience was younger than the average audience I perform for, plus at least half of the audience had Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Williams Syndrome (look it up; it’s fascinating) or other forms of mental and physical disabilities. So I toned down some of the outright filth I normally do and tried to pick stuff I thought would engage this group. They were a wonderful, gracious and attentive audience.
The first time I said the F word, a teenager with Down Syndrome called out “You said the F word.” I think I did ten or twelve minutes.
Then Bobby got up and was very funny. Like me, he likes saggy boobs and he talked about why they’re great.
After Bobby though, the campers went up to the mic, one by one and did a joke or two (or thirty or so in some cases). This was the best part of the night. The idea of doing standup is scary to most people, which I totally understand. I am WAY in the minority for wanting to do it at all, and then in a very tiny and wee micro-minority that is barely visible for wanting to do it all the time. But these people (they’re not all kids by the way) got up there and some very interesting things happened. First, they were pretty uninhibited, which made them better than many non-disabled comedians I’ve seen over the years. Even if they told a shitty knock-knock joke, they SOLD it like it was the greatest thing ever said, which, frankly, made it pretty damn funny. Then, some of them who have different cognitive disabilities would make up jokes that made absolutely no sense at all, but sell them well, and that would be hilarious.
Alec, a 15 year old with Down Syndrome, had a very simple act that consisted of naming audience members and then telling them to “Lick my ass” or sometimes “Eat my ass”. I enjoyed this more than I can tell you.
It made me appreciate on a very deep level, the old but critical piece of advice “Have fun up there.” These people were having fun, and it was infectious.
Another FASCINATING thing was that when they ran out of things to say that they thought would be funny, their seemingly uniform go-to state was one of total, naked honesty. You could see the fear on their face, which many a non-disabled comic would try to cover with bad jokes or nervous banter.
One guy, about forty, after telling some very funny jokes, paused, got a thoughtful look on his face and said “I miss my sister.” It was sad, honest, and so unexpected that it was hilarious and is my clearest memory of the night.
I learned a lot last night that I will genuinely be able to apply to my own standup. I also laughed to the point that I almost threw up the two Gypsy Burgers I ate.
After the show, Bobby asked me to open for him and Paula Poundstone next week. I said yes for two reasons: 1. Like a budget hooker, I’ll perform absolutely anywhere, and 2. As last nights show demonstrates, saying yes to things that are different from what I’m used to can (and usually does) yield good results.

If you would like to volunteer at the Cheshire Project, go here: http://www.cheshirela.org/

If you would like to see a very good comedy show at the Roxbury Café, go here:
http://...com/apx78x This week they have Jimmy Dore, Jen Kirkman and others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjs7v6GGKV4