Well I went to CT for Spring Break. It was great. More info later. I'm going to put up pictures too. Love you all!!!

It's amazing to me how important it is to fulfill a passion. Everyone has things they hate doing and things they love doing. I think the world would be a much happier place if everyone got to do what they loved to do for a living. I've been wondering why that doesn't happen more often. I was thinking that our passions come from God, and so the enemy is going to do what he can't to stop us from fulfilling the things God has called us to. I know for me fear is what has kept me from doing the things I was made to do. Fear of inadequacy, fear of ridicule, rejection, wrong notes and words, not meeting expectations of others, the unknown, misunderstanding God's directions, etc. I guess it should make sense to us that there will be hurdles to jump if we are trying to follow God's leading. If we look at the Bible and think about all the people that did what God told them, we see they were all swimming upstream.

Ask God what He's made you for, and pursue it with everything you've got. Sometimes things won't make sense, and you may not be able to see ahead, but God can see just fine. Just take his hand and He will lead the way.

What is it about love that captures us? When we experience it we can't seem to get enough. It's like Christmas morning everyday. Everything looks different, we can't stop smiling, and we're annoying to everyone around us. When we feel loved we feel accepted, wanted, motivated to better ourselves. When we love someone else (not casually, but uncontionally) we are ready to sacrifice, climb to the top of the mountain, pee into the wind (this is for the guys of course). What is it about love that moves us so? For that matter, whay is love? We can only define it by it's attributes I suppose. When we love someone we are patient and kind, we are selfless, we are optimistic about who they are, we care about them beyond what we can explain. Love is such a powerful word. I hate that it gets thrown around so carelessly in this world. It seems more common for someone to stick their gum in an indiscreet place, than for someone to shown someone else they don't know genuine love.

Real love is such a rare thing. When we have love why do we let it go? To run after our own desires? To chase after things that last but a moment? Fear of the unknown? We once thought things would never be different. The love was too strong to ever fade. We both cared about each other...surely we would of done what it took to keep it alive. What we fail to remember is that love is a choice. Things won't always be easy, they won't always be perfect, but love never fails. When we choose to love someone in spite of everything, some how everything falls into place.

I think one of the reasons people disappoint us, is because we are expecting the wrong things from them. We expect them to complete us, fill our holes, be the missing pieces of ourselves we've always been searching for. We are complete in Christ. Everyone else in our lives is an overflow of our cup. As long as we are completely trusting God and allowing Him to fill us, we should be able to love others as God  has called us to.

Those are just some of the thoughts that ran through my head at about 8:00 this moring on the way to work.

Thinking over everything again
Everything we have can be taken
Cars and bars will lose their appeal
I want to find something that is real

Getting back to the simple things I breathe in
Humbling the posessions of this world
Can it be the only thing we need is love?
Why do I desire something more?

Take these feelings and cast them on the ground
Fill me up till I can stand no more
Focus blurry on everything around
You are exactly what I've been looking for

Find myself in mindful wandering
Can't seem to stop playing what has been
Why do I seek an answer from down here


....okay too tired must stop...I'll finish tomorrow...or some day soon.

Wow, I just realized my last blog was kind of redundant (because of the one before it...not completely though). I guess God just wants to drill the importance of love into my head.

Something struck me yesterday. Every man can slip or fall (duh), but we need to love them as if they haven't (there is no condemnation in Christ). Love never fails. Love can penetrate through all that is evil. Christ calls us to one thing...to love. We are comanded to love Him and love others. We are not call to point fingers, talk behind backs, give attitude, or give up on them. If and when we feel something other than love towards someone, we need to check ourselves (no matter who the subject is). We are called to love the unlovely (not just the physically unlovely). Anyone can love those who make it easy for us to love. Every man has the potential to be great (because of Christ obviously). Whether or not they tap into that potential is up to them. As women we represent the heart of God. We need be an earthly example of unconditional love to the men in our lives. If we look at the great women of the Bible we see some commonalities. They were meek and self-sacrificing; but at the same time they were strong and bold to follow God's call on them. The men in their lives were better for it, because the role of a woman is directly connected with the man's. When God created Eve it was because Adam was incomplete without her (it was not good for him to be alone and no suitable "helper" (weak translation of word...read on) could be found).

* "When God created Eve, He called her an "ezer kenegdo" (original Hebrew text). The word "ezer" means lifesaver, and the word "kenegdo" means alongside or opposite to. This Hebrew phrase is used in only twenty other places in the Bible. In every other instance it is used to describe what God is to us in times of desperate need.

So you see ladies we have potential too; potential to fill the role God created for us. It is also our choice whether or not we tap into it. Is it hard to love sometimes? Oh yeah. But when we screw up how much do we ache to be loved anyway. Whether or not we are married...matters not. I believe we are still called to be an ezer kenegdo to every man in our life. To love with a love that expects nothing in return. To love with a love that the lost will not understand. To love based on nothing in the other person...only the spirit that is inside of us.

* Paraphrased information from the book Captivating (girl version of Wild at Heart) written by John & Stasi Eldredge (page 31 & 32).

Good night my loves. I love you all so so much (you really have no idea how much...well it's a lot). =) Have a good Sunday.

Well I am back and tired. I just finished driving nine hours...yuck. I had the most amazing trip though. I was able to visit family, see one of my favorite people get married, and spend time with my best friends. Best of all God used this trip to show me some things.

Loving others was a topic that came up all weekend. I was reminded over and over that loving God and loving others is our main function in life. God's law is summed up in those two commandments. When I step back from the chaos in life and remember how simple our task is, I am filled with an incredible peace and desire to spread the love. We are to love everyone unconditionally and expect nothing in return. Love is selfless, sacrificial, and down right hard to do sometimes, but it is our highest and most honorable calling. We are created in our Father's image and He is love. We must be love to others, even the ones (especially the ones) that are hard to love. This is the hardest reality I have come to this weekend (that I have been running from)...no matter how much someone has hurt me, I must lay myself at their feet and serve them. Jesus loved people and He was laughed at, abused, and killed. Jesus warned us that following Him would bring ridicule, but we must press on. His rewards far outweigh the beatings of this world. "Love never fails." Love is the foundation of our existence. We must have confidence in His promises to us because of His love, and love Him back by casting our doubts aside.

I sit back and think about the life that I've been living
On the line of right and wrong taking hardly giving
What's inside that screams of pain to only make some noise?
Why do I reach out to all the things that feed me lies?

When will I learn to live a life that must be learned?
Will I stay and listen long enough to understand Your words?
I cry and cry inside reaching out to feel the warmth of your embrace
I know You see my heart and understand my crazy ways


That's all for now...good night
Won't be on MySpace for a little while, I'll be back soon though.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;

for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.

But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth."

It's funny how life can get in the way of living
Why do we forget the only things that matter?
When will we learn to put self after others?
Realize we already have everything we need?

In my dreams I am falling not sure where I'll land
Can't control what is coming what test is at hand
I can feel my heart racing as I look at my life
Pulled in every direction this room's getting tight

I fall on my knees and surrender again
I've never deserved the love You've given
And though I have struggled with who I will be
Your love's always been there to encourage me