Look for it. Blew MY mind. Hey, fellow Jews! Drink this Hebrew Cola. Sshhh! Don't tell I'm on it.

I LOVE FRIENDS!!!

VHS tapes = $2 and they always have the cheesiest shits (aladdin, bfast club, st. elmo's fire... Belly? Purple Rain?)

My imdb rating is up 480% since last week. Fuck!

I can't figure out how to change my mom's profile picture.

Now that I'm free to have friends, they's all kinds of places cerca de mi that I've been wanting to check out. Mainly Thai, Mexican, Indian food.

Nitrous! I'm putting out my old band's album The Placebo Effect. I'm flipping and bouncing it so my niggas Steve and Kyle be on iTunes. Are YOU on iTunes? .. sounds like the title of an album.

love,

your mom

My commercial agent changed my named to Robert Mohammad. I think it sounds Pimp! It's like Bobby Digital but more sinister and Muslim. I hung out with mah boys Dave Rothfus and MIKEY CALDERA last night. Boy rocks sharpie pens like you wouldn't believe. Always carry a pen my dad says. And never try to understand women. Also, you're a bloody idiot. But that's more of a personal jab at me than something to go through life thinking, though I do anyway.

I'M HAVING A PARTY THIS SATURDAY:

LITTLE FUCKER WRAP PARTY / 420 / HAPPY BIRTHDAY HITLER

1201 SEWARD ST. 101

LOS ANGELES, CA 90038

THERE'LL BE LIQUID SMOKE, REGULAR SMOKE, EDIBLE SMOKE, NITROUS, STUNT PEOPLE, AT LEAST ONE OR TWO GIRLS! BRING YOUR OWN FUCKING BOOZE. FREE ENTRY IF YOU COME DRESSED AS HITLER. EVERYONE ELSE THREE KICKS TO THE BALLS.

Hey Patiofucks! Mohammad Hussain checkin in again. Just dropped a new album. It be called: Nate Craig 2008. I named this after a friend of mine who I love and miss though he is alive. It’s hard to find people that you can trust WHO DON’T SUCK. When the cdbaby.com people are done processing this rock-laden third album, it will be at http://cdbaby.com/cd/mohammadh3 along with iTunes. That’s right motherfucker, YOU’RE not on iTunes. I just finished filming a movie ALL YOUSA PEOPLE will be able to see. It’s a weed smoking horror film. I’m the big/quiet/dumb/weird Stifler-esque Scooter - clad in a diaper and beefy beef Bengali muscle. It was filmed in the same building as the first Saw, Hostel. This building was fucking sweet. Incredibly versatile. Looked like it could be used as at least 3,000 different locations. Smoked weed all up in that shit, getting paid. Getting paid to have Japanese chicks shave my chest. Yes! Brazillian wardrobe lady touching my bare ass and gaunch, which is a term I use for the space between you balls and inner thighs. The movie is called "Little Fucker" and I’m the ONLY person smoking real weed in it. Last but not least. I love all of you. Even the homeless, imbalanced people. Even the people who are as stupid, those who are more stupid and those who are less stupid than myself but thinking that people such as myself are stupid. I want to die at the exact same moment at my mother. Smoke weed every day. Weed Each and Every Day! Allahu Akbar!

Hey Buttfuck!

    I forgot to vote in the primary, but I AM registered to vote. Fuck You Sera sister of mine! I gave you my vote to do with what you will out of sympathy for the fact that being a rich lawyer witheld from which upon an individual vote and Constitutional Right like a father teaching a child to swim? Then backing up every time I get closer? Also, sorry if we didn't have our primaries yesterday. Remind me to tell you why I am very, very disappointed with the show "The Office." I'm stalling because I have to study for MY big exam now, counsel. My second degree of Foot Laureate! It... pays....  200 punches a day (sigh)

   I got my "recommendation" today. It's not a prescription, it's not a card. It's a fucking piece of paper. That's shitty. Speaking of which, that THE shittiest doctors office I've ever seen. Don't tell them I said that. I'm talking to YOU Homeland Security! Also, sorry if you actually are monitoring me. Not that that makes any difference. That I'm sorry, not that you are monitoring me. But, yeah, if you ARE monitoring me, you would know there's nothing happening. Just please don't publish my web browsing history. That would be embarassing. Don't talk to Yumi, either... Unless you already have!

   Um, I have a roommate  now. He's basically me nine years ago if I was from Texas and white and a musical theater person. Yuck! Wait. Wait.

   That's it! Look for new songs coming like your mom! O! Oh yeah, I just booked an INDEPENDENT STONER MOVIE that pays the most I've EVER gotten from a movie. Next weekend I'm filming a History Channel project called "God vs. Satan" (the other project is called "Little Fucker" btw. But the production keeps calling it "Little Sucker or Little You Know What")

ki hap! soo bahk!

m.h.

Hey, fuck you, what's going on.I'm trying to crank out a new song, but my pedal steel skills on the six string aren't there.

Still doing improv. Lots of improv. I think I'm going to take an improvisational music class. Thoughts? Woman said No, Mom said Yes.

I think I want to get a haircut. Shit's eating my face. But then I saw Keith Urban and his was the same. It actually looked pretty stupid, like an upside down V.

I'm trying to find a new apartment. Mom suggests somewhere where I'll get exposure.

that's it. back to 'my weed is gone.'

It's time to return to Troy for some time with the family. I also look forward to the friend(s) I'll be visiting. Eight days away from my girl, my toiling... I hope I don't go crazy. I am a little ashamed that I haven't got my star on the walk of fame yet but whatever, at least I'm not coming back HIV positive. It's going to be a test of how many movies I can. I'm not even going to have a guitar. I hope I don't get fat. There's a YMCA nearby so I'm sure I'll be able to get in a good ten workouts or so. Here's to a week of avoiding sugar, my other sibling. I guess I'll just have to eat more steak. That's a joke I like to make about the Midwest = it's boring. You wouldn't understand, hippie! I have this fear that they'll just keep me there. Sorry son, you'll have to marry this big-nosed Indian and go back to school. Blah blah blah I guess I can't ask much since I'm not doing much. Unemployed, non-union... whatever. Maybe I can write a kick ass screenplay. Steven Spielberg's been bugging me about that shit. I'm pumped to hang with my sis. I got her a kickass present and I bet my mom's going to take me to buy some nice clothing so I look presentable and black because she only buys me large... and while I am large in some aspects, I'm not in others. Lastly, I've always wanted to slit my wrists, and what better place to do it than my hometown? None, really. Unless it was the Tonight Show. That would be hilarious and make the highlight reels for sure. I hope it's not cold. I better grow more body hair. Push ARRR Pfftpoop! Maybe I can borrow a guitar from a friend. And maybe some horse tranquilizers. I'll miss you Jumi!.. and improv classes/shows and all you motherfuckers I don't know.