It just hit me: I'm still here. I'm still alive.

I've spent more years trying to kill myself than attempting to stay alive, so every once in a while when my life happens to be sailing smoothly (and I've been taking my meds regularly ), I began to feel like I'm an spectator, comfortably sitting behind the ropes; just watching someone else's life. Pass the popcorn. And the nachos.

If I'd had an outlet for my pain and constant agony those years ago, when self-destruction was my main goal in life, I probably would have written something like this:

The record company doesn't allow these to be embedded:

Don't Let Me Get Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx10ZrVeKBk