I wrote this monologue a few years back...a certain invidual in my life inspired me to write this, it was a huge breaking point for me..

This is the drug that enters my mind, my love for you is suspended in space and time, the distant ticking tick tick tock of this asylum clock is in synch with my contractions, the labor having been induced about 4 years ago. I've been pregnant with your possibility/potential for the proverbial nine months…..first time in car with you u split my cervix my first sex, reincarnation of the killing of my cervix, love to see you stay happy to see you go, see the problem with this kind of love is that its bound to kill you six million ways to die and I choose you  I want to keep this indefinite valentines in my heart forever I want to press replay and rewind for the rest of our lives but then again you might not b ready for that yet, b/c its weird all of the head games I play with the opposite species ur the first one to make me feel greedy needy like water ur my necessity like air you need to breath another contraction I wanna keep you in my womb where I know where u'll be and keep others from taking you away from me u r the arsenic that I breath, I love you more than my skin, to leave you is commiting sin, u r my beginning and end b/c my heart begins with you and ends with an airplane flight to Oklahoma

Don't wake me baby b/c I wanna keep dreaming'

My belly deflates as I grudgingly push u out of me

U r  the drug that hallucinates my mind

And makes time suspend in ways that I can't comprehend

I love you more more more than my own skin

Impossible to see without u in my horizon b/c denial comes in brown tinted sunglasses also

Don't go

No go

This is good

4 me

4 u

my bright pinks and yellows turn blue

as I pop another Zoloft

manipulate routines like a robot

keep it movin is what people say

but how can u when ..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 />ur heart is torn away

..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />

lawd im not ready to let this baby see the light of day

I've already miscarried one but this time the birth is for real

Not a stillborn once a fetus,

Once an idea, now a verb being put into action

Kiss me romeo before I stab myself to sleep

B/c the morphine the hospital gave me isn't enough to dull the pain

Like parting with my placenta u need to leave my system

As peace turns to torture and raging waters become calm

I've accepted my punishment with the right to bear arms

As my fingers stay crossed I sex u goodbye

Hoping the scent of my angry vagina stays with u for seven months time

Repelling forces that would interrupt the divine

Bond that I have with you

Like donny h says I will love u more than u'll ever know

Inside im on my knees pulling at your clothing so u don't go

U leave

My body splits open

Searing hot rays penetrate my uterus

I'm floating I can fly

The gasping stops and

Rebirth begins

March 9 2005  

11:49 pm

march 17

 Copyright  2007 Michaela Franklin