I get down on the ground.

On my knees.

Like you wanted me to

My master.

You laugh

I use to love your laugh.

So warm, comforting

I would laugh with you.

Now, I just scream

And cry

Or at least try to.

Every time I hear you laugh and I try to cry

But I have heard you laugh too much

My tears won't fall for you anymore

I won't fall for you anymore

Love was never your intention for me

I don't get it

You told me we were forever

Now I find myself on my knees

In front of you

My life on the line

I suffer

For you

You notice but what is it to you?

I'll tell ya

It's laughter

Fun

Enjoyable

You were the one I trusted with my life

You treat me like shit

There I am

Still screaming and crying

What is your next move?

Like always

I fall backwards with a pain in my nose

Blood drips from my nose

And your soccer kleet

I stay on my back

You get down beside me with the smile that use to make ME smile

You push the hair on my face aside with such delicacy

Gently, your hand goes to my shoulder and pushes me up to a sitting position

Your lips almost rest against on my upper neck

And you stroke my collar bone

"You are an angel" you say

What? I thought

"You are such a beauty to everyone. An angel. But I see the truth."

I breathe heavily

My eyes closed

"You are crap. You think I want you back? What you want is something you shouldn't get. You are rubbish that has no meaning. Rub- no. Not even. You're worse. Worm!"

You laugh once more

I scream once more

"STOP! PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE!" My eyes burst with tears.

First time in a year of so much crying I was able to taste my own tears again.

I put my head in between my legs and my hands over my head

And tremble

Just like what you wanted

Like always

My master

You smile to my obedience

"Today's the day you finally tell me how you feel about your master huh."

You stroke my hair ever so lightly

But to you, it's not MY hair

It's hers

I am just your toy and she is your trophy

I look up

My eyes blaze with anger

"What else do you want from me?" I growl

I go back down with a thwap

My right eye is now bleeding

And your blade is dripping red

You smile

"Now did I tell you that you could look at me in the eye like that? Nah ah. You wanna know what I want? What I NEED?"

You stand up and I look up

"You call yourself the 'Falling Angel' do you not?"

"I do.." I said

"It's finally time for you to fall…. My 'angel'"

I feel a hit on the back of my head and I fall backwards

It's dark

…. I never feel my head hit the floor…..

They WANT to keep us apart!

It's what they do!

They laugh from the pits of hell

making sure that we are trapped

Curled up in a corner

Embracing ourselves

Cause we have no one else to embrace

Why must you make us suffer!?

You don't know what you're doing to me!

You are killing me

you really are!

If you find my corpse

Cold

Bloody

Blank

Unwanted

Unneeded

That's YOUR fault

Not mine

You've driven me to the point where I coudn't take it

Anymore

Screaming with pain

Tears of red and clear drip

My body weakens

Cause my Love is not here

The only one to help me

Gone

Disapeared

Broken

I need you here

By my side

Where are you?

I hear you

You're here

I know you are

I just know it!

Please

Take me away

Oh please!

This is too much for me

I can't take it all in

No

You're not here

So you can't help me

If you can't...

how can anybody else?

What's wrong with me?

Did I hurt him?

How could he do this?

Why would he lie?

With all this pain and suffering I'm going through

He doesn't know

He doesn't know what he's doing to me

He's killing me

He really is

Isolation

It usually feel good

But this is a whole new feeling

What is it

I can't figure it out

He told me to be happy

He wanted to see me smile.... MAKE me smile

He was my true happiness

Crushed

Broken

I fall on my floor, damp by my own tears

Knowing now that everything is a lie

How is it possible to move on?

Every time I put my hopes up

They fall

Fall forever

Fall through hell

PASSED hell

Forever suffering

Why?

Why did you have to go?

Was everything you told me a lie?

A set up?

Am I ACTUALLY as beautiful as you told me?

Why would you betray me like this?

Why would you TOY with my emotions?

I thought you made it seem like I was actually here for a purpose!

What does SHE have that I DON'T......

.... besides a will to live...?

She runs

runs with all of her might

trying so hard to escape

but, deep down, she knows...

what's the point?

Why run if you're going to trip and fall

and bleed

pain will rush through you and have you body go through pain and agony

but what's worse?

Throbbing pain or the fear of an unfamiliar dark

that will NEVER go away

the dark she knows is safe, warm and welcoming

but the one she runs in scares her

she screams

but she can't hear herself

her heart is beating too fast and too hard to hear anything

it's going to explode

but she stops

she feels a chill up the hairs on her back

she hears it softly

ever so softly

someones behind her

death is an inch away

whispers

tears cover her sight

but through th tears

is that?

it can't be...

light?

It's her imagination

but still....

she bolts to the light

when she gets to it

it's gone

she's not surprised

life is always dark

not even it's heat was left behind

the cold is too strong

.....what was that noise?

So soft, but.... such a pain

why was her heart in pain?

She put a hand to her heart

blood

she smiled and laughed with him

and fell......

he was still laughing........

and still is to this day

over her corpse

just letting his joy out

and at the same time

he's letting out her joy too

I love you so much baby!

Oh I love you too. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me!

You are my life. I dont think I could live without you!

I would do ANYTHING to make you happy!

I would do ANYTHING for YOU!

I would sacrifice my right arm for you to live.

I would get rid of ALL of my limbs for you to be happy all of the time.

I would fall to the depths of hell forever to make sure when you die, you go to heaven!

I would starve myself to make sure you would eat every meal every day!

I would parallyze my myself to make sure you will be able to move your precious body!

I would cut out my tounge to make sure you'll be able to make sure people could hear your sweet voice!

I would stab my eyes out to make sure you'll be able to see what is ahead of your handsome face!

You are the most amazing girl I have ever meant!

I will NEVER leave your side baby! If I ever do.... let me suffer an enternal hell....

I am so sorry to hear about your Love sweety. He didn't suffer when he passed on.

How sickening, you're STILL mourning over him! It's been five days! If you want to see him again so badly, the belt is waiting for you!

You mustn't! He would want you to live on happily and to it's fullest. He did not know that he was going to be in that accident either!

He knew it from the START! He WANTED to leave. Jump! It's ok! He kept saying that he loved you!  Why not hear him say it again?!

This is maddness! He wants you here! No suffering or deppression anymore! You even PROMISED him!

Ya, but, he isn't here to watch her. Go ahead girl! Jump! The sooner the better!

No! Please! Stay!

You have no one else to live for. He was the only one who TRULY cared and tusted you. You're just gonna make him wait for you!? How pathetic You are so PATHETIC!

SILENCE! YOU ARE AMAZING! You have TONS of friends who NEED you here. They all love you and trust you too. What about your family too HMMM?! THEY need and love you more than ANYONE!

Pfft! Everything they do is becuase you are their child and it's what they HAVE to do.

They need you here more than anyone else.... please... stay.... just let go! You'll see him again one day.

No other guy in this world will love you the way HE did! Why do you have to wait to be loved like that again?! If you jump, you can be happy again.

YOU CAN BE HAPPY WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE TOO! You are a BEAUTIFUL girl with lots ahead for you! Let go and stay here to fufill your dreams!

ALL of your dreams were planned with your Love in the picture. Since he's not here anymore, those dreams are CRUSHED! You CAN'T make anymore! You pathetic girl, JUMP!

NO PLEASE!

JUMP!

NO! STAY! LET GO!

JUMP!

STAY!

JUMP!

STAY!

JUMP DAMN YOU!

NO PLAESE STAY!

JUMP! YOU WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN DONT YOU?! JUMP!

...........................jump.........

(I know it's a bit late, but I see no harm in making this)

Be loyal to friends (not that I haven't)

Get good grades

No more harm to my body

Spend more time with family

Take care of my pets more (like take more responsability)

Find more of my talents

Write better

Read more